


Make the Darkness Bright

by cbob13



Series: Make the Darkness Bright [1]
Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Falling In Love, Jacob does not know how to talk to women, Lots of plot, Mutual Pining, OC is not the deputy, Older Man/Younger Woman, On Opposite Sides, Radio Conversations, Secret Meetups, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2019-05-24 07:51:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 129,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14950616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cbob13/pseuds/cbob13
Summary: Elizabeth "Liz" Palmer was just a normal small-town girl from Hope County, Montana.  When she travels back home for the first time in years, she discovers that her home has been taken over by a cult.  She is captured by Eden's Gate and comes to face-to-face with Jacob Seed.  When he finds out who she is, Jacob lets her live and she becomes his "trophy".  Having the niece of Eli Palmer is no small thing.  Using Eli's niece to taunt him is exactly what Jacob needs to break the Whitetail Militia.  Confused and afraid, Liz becomes a pawn to be used in a war she had no interest being a part of.





	1. Welcome Home: Join the Cult

**Author's Note:**

> Set 1 month before the events of the game.

Elizabeth’s parents had always told her not to come back home.  They never gave a reason why she had always thought that maybe just because they didn’t want her to spend the money to fly back.  It had been 3 years since she moved from her home in Hope County, Montana to an apartment outside her college in Southern Florida.  Her family visited her at school but she’d never come back home since. 

Hope County was an interesting place, to say the least.  It was out in the middle of nowhere with terrible cell service, and the people have been there for generations.  Her parents lived in Holland Valley, north of Rae Rae’s Pumpkin Farm.  Her Uncle Eli lived up in the Whitetail Mountains.  So many childhood memories had been made with Uncle Eli.  He would take her fishing along the Henbane River, to go see waterfalls up in the mountains, and he took her to see Cheeseburger the bear every year at the FANG Center.

The school was just as secluded as the town was.  Hope County High School only had around 500 students from all grade levels.  Everyone in the county knew Elizabeth and her family.  They would come out to see her play softball with the Hope County Cougars.  Life in Montana was nice but it wasn’t what she wanted.  That’s why when her parents said they had the money to send her to college, she picked the furthest place from Montana.  Florida was gorgeous.  White sandy beaches, amusement parks, and warm weather all year round.

It was the summer before her senior year of college and about a few months before her 21st birthday.  Elizabeth hadn’t heard from her parents in 6 months.  At first she thought maybe they were getting their landline switched out but something wasn’t right.  They wouldn’t have waited this long to talk to her.  She’s decided that she’s going home for the summer, to see what the heck was going on back at home.  She filled her bags with clothes and necessities and loaded them into her car. 

The tip back to Montana takes a total of 4 days.  Between driving and sleeping in her car, Elizabeth is exhausted, but the landscape has grown more beautiful and mountainous as she’s gone along.  She’s finally reach the county’s edge and where she would have normally been greeted with the Hope County welcome sign, it was knocked down and the word _Sinner_ was spray painted in black over it.

What the hell?  That’s new.

Elizabeth kept driving on the road to her parent’s house.  She thought about stopping by Fall’s End to see if anyone had seen them around but she decided to go straight home to talk to her parents first.  It had been so long since she had seen them, she was excited but nervous to find out what was going in the county.

When driving through the valley, something else had caught her eye.  Up in the tallest mountain in the valley was a giant sign that read ‘Yes’.  Now she was worried.  She floored it to get to her house as soon as possible.  Screw it if a deputy tried to pull her over.  When she reached the house, she felt her stomach leap up into her chest.   

‘We will come for you’ was written on the side of the house.  Most of the windows were broken and the door was kicked in.  She got out of the car and walked to the front door.  There was a piece of paper nailed to the doorway.  There was some sort of symbol at the top, it looked like a mix between a cross and a star.  It said,

“ _We know you have been giving aide to the Whitetails.  You have betrayed the will of The Father.  Join us and confess.  If you refuse we will come for you.  We will take you and we will find her._

_-Eden’s Gate”_

‘ _We will find her, were they talking about me_?’  Elizabeth thought to herself.

Oh god.  Who the hell was The Father, and what was Eden’s Gate?  When she walked inside, tears came to her eyes.  Everything was trashed; chairs were thrown, the table was on its side, and every drawer had been opened.  She dashed to her room and it was worse than she imagined.  Her softball trophies had been smashed, all of her belongings thrown into one cluttered heap on the floor.  One of the only things that survived was a photo frame with the glass shattered.  She retrieved the photo from the frame and inspected it.  The photo was of Elizabeth, her parents, and her older brother.  Eli had taken the photo at Whitetail State Park when they had all went for a hike.

She folded the photo and put it in her pocket for safekeeping.  Was her family dead?  Or did they make it somewhere safe?  They were smart, they would have known to get out.  Elizabeth knew she had to find her Uncle.  If anyone could have survived something like this, it would have been him.  He wasn’t far from here, she could make it to his cabin.  She climbed into her car and sped off towards the Whitetail Mountains. 

The more than she paid attention the more she noticed how bad things really were.  There were destroyed cars on the side of the road and billboards that had the same symbol that was on the note at her house.  There was no one out driving on the roads.  She couldn’t decide if that a good or bad thing?  She slowed down when she reached the entrance of the state park.  It was spray painted and there were bodies hanging from the sign.  She gasped.  What the hell was going on in Hope County?

She kept driving until she came to a small parking lot that overlooked the mountains.  It was free from bodies so she thought it was good of a spot as any to stop and gain her bearings.  Turns out this was the stop for Langford Falls.  Sometimes after church on Sunday’s her family would come here and have a picnic.  The rushing water always seemed to calm her down. 

There was a noise of crunching leaves and she whipped around to find the cause of it.  Three men were walking in her direction but they hadn’t spotted her yet.  People!  She seemed to throw all logic out the window, she was relieved to finally see someone around.

“Hey! Can you help me?”

The men turned in her direction.  Oh no.  She was so relieved to finally see someone that she didn’t realized that these men were armed to the teeth.  They all had compound bows and had pistols strapped to their sides.  Calling out to them wasn’t the brightest idea.  One man scoffed at her.

“There’s one.”

It all happened so fast.  She didn’t see him draw the bow but she felt herself go down.  She looked down at her thigh and saw an arrow sticking out of it.

An arrow!  ‘ _That asshole shot me!’_ She thought.

She started to feel dizzy and fell down.  Whatever they had shot her with was drugged.  The last thing she saw before she blacked out was red.

…

Jacob surveyed the prospects brought in earlier today.  Two of them were Eli’s Whitetails that were caught trying to take out a roadblock, one was a local that they picked up off the side of the road, and the other was a young girl.  Curled up asleep in the cage, she looked like a small child, but was probably much older than that.  It’s pathetic who they were bringing in these days.  His men used to bring in potential wolves, now they bring him sheep.  No matter, they would all serve their purpose one way or another.   

Things had been relatively slow in Hope County for the past year.  Eli had formed a resistance, but all they did was hide.  They were no real threat.  A few weeks ago he and his brothers had ran into a few kids who were trying to expose the project to the outside world.  It wouldn’t matter.  Jacob’s army had more than enough soldiers and firepower that could wipe out anything coming their way.

Even though things had been quiet, Jacob felt like something was coming.  Maybe the end wasn’t here yet but something was coming that would change everything.  Jacob had to be ready.

He glanced back over to the cage with the young girl.  He noticed something sticking out of her back pocket.  Jacob grabbed one of his men and gestured to her.

“Search her.”

The man opened the cage and took the photo out of her pocket.  He locked the cage back and handed the photo to Jacob.  The redheaded soldier studied the photo for a moment until a smile of recognition came across his face.

“Well I’ll be dammed, it’s her.”


	2. Date With the Devil

Elizabeth could feel her head spinning as she awoke from her drug-induced slumber.  This couldn’t be real, could it?  She was lying in the dirt and glanced down at her thigh to see a makeshift bandage around it.  She reached into her back pocket and realized her family photo was missing.  It wasn’t in her pocket.  She scrambled up from the ground and ran straight into a fenced wall.  Falling on her ass once again, she realized she was in a cage.  Like an animal.

“Looking for this?”

There was a man sitting in a chair outside of the cage.  He had red hair, a beard, striking blue eyes, and was holding out her photo.  Elizabeth reached her hand out of the cage to grab the photo but the man quickly snatched it away.

“Ah ah ah.  It’s not going to be that easy little one.”

He leaned back in the chair and sighed.  He studied her features carefully.

“I’m just still all tickled and shit.  I can’t believe I caught myself a Palmer.  Eli and his Whitetails will just be itching to get you back.”

His demeanor was cold and his eyes felt like they could pierce into her soul.  She tried to stay strong but as soon as Elizabeth opened her mouth, her voice cracked.

“Where is my family?”

The redheaded man scoffed.

“Now that is the question isn’t it.  You see a few months ago when my men were going to get them, they had left.  Vanished into thin air like they were never here.  Not something that I’m too happy about.  But am I glad to see you.  We had almost forgotten about you, when your family shipped you away.  You’re lucky I found you first.”

“Lucky?”  The man had her locked in a cage and he expected her to be thankful. 

“You’ll be of some use to me little lamb.  You won’t be able to cull the herd but the weak have their purpose.  You might be able to lure out some of the Whitetails for me.”

“Whitetails?  What are you talking about?  Who are you!?”

She thought back to the note that was nailed to her house.

“Are you… Eden’s Gate?”

The redheaded man let out a chuckle. 

“Such a smart little lamb aren’t you?”

He motioned to one of his men.

“Take her to the chair.  Let’s see what she knows.”

The cage was opened again.  She didn’t have any chance to run before the man smacked her in the face with the butt of his gun, and she blacked out for the second time today.

…

When Elizabeth awoke again she wasn’t lying in the dirt but was cuffed to a chair with zip ties and her mouth was gagged.  She struggled against the restraints but it was no use.  She wasn’t going anywhere.  The room was completely dark except for the projector she was sitting by.  It flashed up a picture of a vicious looking wolf onto the wall.  There were two other chairs in the room but they were empty.  She was alone.

As much as she tried to fight it, tears came to her eyes.  She felt herself start to panic.  Would they torture her?  Or would they kill her?  This isn’t how she wanted to die. 

Directly in front of her there was a video camera.  They were going to film her pathetic state for all to see. 

When her eyes adjusted she realized that she wasn’t the only one in the room.  The man from before was there.  There were a lot of things that she didn’t know about him the first time she saw him.  He was wearing an army shirt with American flags on the shoulders with the name _J. Seed_ etched into the chest.  Everything about this man scared her.  His presence sent chills down her spine.  He stepped out in front of the projector.

“The world was once owned by the strong.  The weak were preyed upon by the strong.  But now the new world has evolved.  Now the lamb does not fear the wolf.  The lamb parades itself around instead of hiding from their predators.”

For some reason, she understood what he was talking about.  The people here were plain in appearance and had hunger in their eyes.  Elizabeth had known nothing but a life of comfort.  Anything she had ever wanted had been provided by her parents.  Her appearance was far different than the locals.   With her jean shorts, jewelry, and face plastered with makeup, she was parading herself around.  She was the lamb and he was the wolf.

“Time and time again the lives of the many have outweighed the lives of the few.  This is how we have survived.  But no longer.  With the collapse upon us, this time the lives of the few outweigh the lives of the many.”

The solider slowly approached Elizabeth.  He put his hands on either side of her chair and leaned in close to intimidate her.

“If they want to survive the weak must become strong.  The lamb will be turned into a wolf or their bones will thrown to the wolves.  These so called Whitetails that try to threaten our way of life will have everything taken from them.  Even those that they are closest to.  The weak have no place in the new world.  The collapse is coming and we’ll be ready.  This is the will of the father.”

The blinking red light on the camera cut off.  The tears had started drying on her face.  ‘ _Did Uncle Eli watch that live?  Did he even recognize me?’_ she thought.

The gag that was blocking her voice was removed and Elizabeth felt relieved that she wasn’t choking on her tongue anymore.

 “Let’s talk little lamb.  See what we can pick from your brain about old Eli.”

“I don’t know anything.”  Her voice was small and timid.

The man leaned against the back of one of the chairs.

“You see I think that you do.  People in your situation, well… they always know something.”

His stance shifted.  Something in his eyes changed.

“I was in Iraq during the first Gulf War.  Eighty-second airborne.  All Americans.  Hoo-rah.  A lot of shit happened over there.  Shit that you wouldn’t be able to understand in your wildest dreams.  Some things stuck with me more than others.  There was this kid.  He was about your age. Straight out of med school, a hot shot.  Apparently he had Intel on some disease that was infecting the locals.  He was gonna investigate and come up with a vaccine.  Me and two others guys had been assigned to protect him while he worked.  I thought it was all bullshit.  He shouldn’t have been out there.  We had just picked him up and was bringing him back to base when it happened.  They got the jump on us.  Shot the truck with an RPG.  The truck flipped and I blacked out.  I woke up to the smell of burning flesh.”

He rolled up his sleeves to reveal arms that were scarred with blisters and burn marks.

“Turns out it was my flesh.  The blast burnt me to a crisp and left me all pretty” He chuckled to himself.

“Both of my guys were dead.  I found out later that they had gotten the kid.  The only reason they left me cause they thought I was dead.  They had the kid for 6 months.  Do you know what they did to him?”

Elizabeth slowly shook her head.  Much like a child hanging on to every word of the story.

“They strung him up, cut him open.  Asked him a whole lot of questions about shit he didn’t know shit about.  He hadn’t even made it to base yet.  But eventually he squealed like the weasel he was.  He told them everything that he did know.  Right after the kid had told them everything, they killed him and dumped his body outside the base.  Everyone talks eventually.  Do you know what the worst thing you can be is?”

There was only one thing that a man like him hated most of all, betrayal. 

“Traitorous.”  She croaked.

The man looked at her with approval.  “Exactly.  Treasonous.  A traitor is worse than the weak and the weak have no place here.”

Seed noticed her quaking form.

“You can stop shaking in your boots sweetheart.  I’m not gonna kill ya.  That’ll all depend on you.”

Her hands gripped the chair until her knuckles turned white.  “I’m not telling you anything about my Uncle.”

He scoffed.  “Oh I know that little lamb.  I didn’t pick you to go down without a fight.  Eventually though, you’ll tell me everything. But for now, the weak have their purpose.”

Seed stepped forward.  He had a small box in his hand.  He cranked the box and opened it.  A soft song started playing from it.

‘ _Only youuuu…_ ’

Something overtook Elizabeth.  Her body started convulsing in the chair and her head slammed back.  Her vision was clouded with white spots.  Her body felt like it was on fire, it was the worst pain she had ever experienced.  She let out a heart stopping scream before her vision faded to red.

“Sweet dreams little lamb.”

…

The room before Elizabeth was red, everything was red.  The chair that she was strapped to was gone. The room looked like it was on fire.  The chairs that were once empty now had men sitting in them.  In front of her was a table that held a .44 revolver.

She stood paralyzed by fear.  This had to be some sort of dream.  Both men got up and drew their side arms.  They fired at Elizabeth.  The stream of bullets hit her in the stomach.  She fell behind the table and inspected her midsection.  She could feel the pain from the bullets but when she looked down there was no blood.  It didn’t even look like she had been shot. 

The men continued to shoot at the table she was under but they never came any closer.  They just continued to shoot at the hardwood table. 

“ _Get up.  Get up and fight.”_

It was Seed.  He was in her head.  Elizabeth curled up into a ball and covered her ears.  She hid under the table and screamed to block out the noise of the gunshots and that dammed song.

After that, she had lost all sense time and direction.  At times she would be strapped to the chair and other times she would be in the red room again.

The second time she went into the room she dived for the gun.  She wrapped her hands around the revolver and tipped the table over to protect her from the incoming gunfire.  She had only shot a few guns before in her life.  Even though those times she had her father help her.  The mechanics were the same though.  She clicked the lever back and popped over the table.  She pulled the trigger and missed.  With her six shots she was able to take down one man, but the other was faster and shot her square in the chest. 

“ _Pathetic._ ”

In and out of the red room.  Over and over again.  Only you.  Only you.  _Only you._  

Elizabeth’s brain was on the verge of being ripped apart.  Being in the red room sometimes felt better than her body seizing in the real world and her head banging against the chair.  The gag on her mouth didn’t do much to stifle her screams.

She didn’t know how many times she went into the room.  Each time she made it a bit further before she got shot.  There didn’t seem to be any end to the world on fire.  There were some breaks when the music would stop.  Someone would remove her gag and give her water.  Other times Seed would be there and lecture her on things, but all of his words would come out in a big blur that she couldn’t understand.  She had no concept of how much time had passed since she had woken up in the cage.  All she knew was that there had to be an end to the world on fire, and that she was going to find it.

When she went into the red room this time she was ready.  She grabbed the revolver from the table and shot the men before they got up. 

“ _Excellent._ ”

She grabbed the new weapon that was placed out and went into the next room.  She took them down without trouble and kept moving forward.

“ _Good.  Cull the herd._ ”

The men in the hallways kept shouting that she wasn’t a hero and kept repeating the same mantra:

“Train, hunt, kill, sacrifice.”

Something had seemed to click into place inside Elizabeth.  The killing had become easy, like a routine.  Like this was her purpose all along. 

The rest of the men had went down easy.  All of them disappeared into the same puff of smoke.

“ _Well done.”_

She had become encouraged by his words.  Impressing the redheaded soldier had become her current objective.  She slid down an air vent and picked up a large machine gun.  She dispatched the men in the hallway and kept going.

“ _Not bad._ ”

There had to be an end to this.  Some light at the end of the tunnel that would make it stop.  She rounded a corner to find a faceless man.  She shot him without hesitation. 

“ _Perfect._ ”  Seed purred.  Praising Elizabeth for her handiwork. 

The faceless man disappeared into a puff of smoke and her world faded to black once again.

She woke up in the chair again gasping for air, and struggling against the restraints.  There was no music though.  It had stopped for now, but Seed was there.

“Woah, woah little lamb.  Calm yourself.  You did good.  You passed your first test.  Took you a little while though.”

The man had patted her head like she was his pet.  It didn’t help her calm down.  It only agitated her worse.  Seed called over one of his men.

“Take her to The Chalet to train with The Chosen.  Let’s see what happens.”

The man nodded at his order and walked over to Elizabeth.  He threw a thick dark bag over her head and once again she was robbed of her sight.  She was forced to her feet only to have her arms restrained in front of her.  They led her outside and forced her into a van.

She didn’t know how long the ride lasted.  The bag over her head was stuffy and her only goal was to keep her breathing steady.  The van eventually came to a stop and she was dragged outside.  The black bag was ripped from her head and she was blinded by the bright sun in the sky.  It took a few seconds for her eyes to adjust.

There was a large two story building with wooden balconies.  The same symbol from before was painted on it, and on the doorway it said, _Know your purpose._ There were several towers with armed guards in them.  Black tents scattered the field and old tires were laid out in some kind of obstacle course.

Three men had gotten out of the car and they prodded her along to keep her moving.

With her hands restrained in front of her, Elizabeth followed the men into the entrance of the building.  There were two counters in the front.  This place had used to be a hotel of some sort.  The men led her to one of the counters where there was a woman waiting.

 “Jacob’s orders.  She is to be trained with The Chosen.”

 _‘Jacob.’_ She thought.  ‘ _Jacob Seed.  That’s the name of the redheaded soldier.’_

The woman gave them a nod of understanding and directed her attention to Elizabeth. 

“Name please.”

Her lips stayed closed.  She didn’t want to announce it to the world that she was related to an enemy of Eden’s Gate.  The woman asked for it again and when she didn’t answer one man prodded her with the butt of his gun. 

“Liz.  Liz Palmer.” 

She had hoped that no one would recognize her last name, but no one brought attention to it.  The woman simply wrote down _L. Palmer_ on her notebook and went into the back room behind the counter.  She returned with a stack of clothes and a white book and handed them to Liz.  Both the book and the shirt had the Eden’s Gate star on it.

The woman smiled apologetically.  “They might be a little big.” 

She was led upstairs into the main hall where there were tables.  The tables were long and painted white with the Eden’s Gate symbol.  There were at least twenty people sitting around the tables.  There didn’t seem to be any pattern to the types of people here.  There were men and women and people that spanned all ages.  The cult seemed to have a knack for kidnapping everyone.  The only thing that Liz knew was that she was by far the youngest and that she didn’t belong here.

One man led her to a separate room adjacent to the dining hall.  It had three bunk beds all with matching, ugly green sheets.  The man pointed to the bottom bunk on the opposite wall.

“This bed is yours.  Change and place your belongings in this bin.  Knock on the door when you’re finished.”

The man removed her restraints and shut the door behind him.  She laid the clothes down on the bed and inspected them.  There was a white long sleeve Henley shirt with the symbol on it, a pair of cargo pants, black combat boots, a belt, and black fingerless gloves.  She inspected the book as well.  At first glance she thought it had been a bible, but it was something else. 

Liz started to undress.  Her clothes had streaks of dirt all over them and there were holes in her tank top.  One of her favorite outfits destroyed, but it probably didn’t matter now.  Now everything was all about survival. 

The shirt was about two sizes too big for her.  It dwarfed her already small figure.  She pulled on the cargo pants and boots.  The boots were nice and sturdy.  She tucked her shirt into the pants and tightened the belt as much as it would go.  It wasn’t perfect but nothing was falling down so it would have to do.  She pulled her blonde hair into a ponytail and rolled up the sleeves of her shirt.

She threw her dirty clothes into the basket.  No need for them anymore.  She only had a few belongings left.  She threw her car key into the basket.  She had better not see those assholes driving around her car for their cult.  But a two door civic didn’t have much military value anyways.  She threw her rings and bracelets in the basket.  She kept her watch because it could have some use with tracking the days and she kept the necklace that her mother had given her.  She stuffed the watch into the bottom of her pillowcase and tucked the necklace away in the white book.

Liz finally felt calm for the first time after being strapped to that chair.  There would be a time to deal with what happened, but right now she needed to relax.  She was free from that chair for now.  She was free from _Jacob Seed_ for the time being.  Even if was only for today, it would be worth it.  Finally feeling composed she knocked on the door. 

The man opened the door and gestured for her to follow him.  He led her back to the main dining hall.  Liz sat at the table furthest from the center, not wanting to draw attention to herself.  There were two men and a woman sitting at the other end of the table.  She didn’t make eye contact with them but she could feel their glares.  From what she’s seen from this place, it’s where they trained their best soldiers and she certainly wasn’t a soldier.  She stuck out like a sore thumb.

A woman came and brought her a plate of food.  She wasn’t used to being waited on, but she had a felling it wasn’t because she was an honored guest.  Everyone had a job, even the cult had maids.  Liz secretly wished she had been assigned to cooking instead, but there was a price to being related to an enemy of Eden’s Gate.

The plate had a mush of beans and rice, green beans, a plain roll, and a glass of water.  Liz didn’t care how disgusting it looked before she started scarfing the food down.  She’s had worse.  It was about the same as eating cheap ramen noodles in her apartment.  She didn’t know how long she had been without food.  She could have been in that chair for days without even knowing it.  Even after she finished all of her food, there was still a gnawing feeling in her stomach.  

Liz tried to distract herself from her lingering hunger by surveying the room.  On the wall was written: _Train-Hunt-Kill-Sacrifice_.  The same moto that the men in the hallucination would chant. 

Everyone else at the tables had started to get up like clockwork, signaling that dinner was over.  They all started to gather on the opposite side of the room.  There were several benches gathered around a chalkboard.  Liz made sure to sit in the back again.

A man approached the chalkboard.  He seemed to be higher ranking than everyone else here, but not higher than Jacob Seed.  She kept looking around for the redhead solider, but each time she came up empty.  She wasn’t sure if it was out of fear or out of curiosity.

The man at the chalk board started talking about tactics and possible locations where the Whitetail Militia could be.  She didn’t know that name of the man but sitting in this huddle felt a lot like when she played softball in high school.  Liz nicknamed the man ‘Coach’ in her head to make things easier.  Her mind seemed to dose off somewhere and she didn’t listen to a single word that he said.

When Coach had finally finished talking, the group was dismissed for the night.  She followed a group of women back to her room.  She didn’t survey them much but they were all bigger and stronger.  When she got back to the room she tucked the white and gold book under the bed. 

Sleep started to cloud her vision and she felt fatigue in her bones.  She stripped off her belt and boots and climbed under the covers.  The lights shut off not long after that and she drifted off into the best sleep she had in a while.


	3. This is Why We Train

Liz woke to the sound of a horn blasting.  She jumped up in bed.  The noise had her awake in an instant.  Of course the cult wouldn’t be one to use a normal alarm.  She felt startled from the noise but everyone else around her wasn’t bothered by it.

The other women in the room were methodically getting dressed and it prompted her to do the same.  She slipped on her boots and fingerless gloves and followed the crowd out the door.  In the main hall there were bottles of water and some type of granola bar to eat.

After everyone had finished eating, she followed the group out the front doors.  The sun was bright but she felt relieved to be outside.  Liz was afraid of what was to come today, but she had to be strong.  As strong as she could be.  The group led her to the large obstacle course in the front of the building.  There were two sets of tires, makeshift walls made of bags, and two zip lines.  It was a race.

Coach was there explaining how it would work.  Everyone would go through the course three times and whoever had the fastest time would sit out during the endurance run.  She didn’t care about being first, she just didn’t want to end up dead last.  The first two people blew though the course with ease.  When it was almost her turn she spotted something on one of the balconies.  It was Jacob Seed.

He was here.  She glanced up to the balcony again and her eyes locked with his.  He was the last person on Earth she wanted to see but yet, there he was.  Didn’t he have anything better to do?  His blue eyes were cold and his gaze was telling her not to disappoint him.

She focused her attention back to the course.  When she got the signal she took off.  She slowly made it through the tires, trailing far behind the woman she was up against.  It took all of her strength to vault over the walls.  She climbed the ladder to the zip lines.  At the top there was a box filled with handles in it.  By the time she had gotten to the top, her competitor was already finished.  She hooked the handle onto the line and jumped off the platform.  The other woman had made it look easy, and Liz had overestimated her strength.  Her arms gave out, unable to hold her bodyweight and she fell face first into the mud.

Her body hurt all over from the fall.  Not like the pain she experienced in the hallucinations, this was real.  

“Get up princess!”  She heard Coach scream.

Liz gritted her teeth and got up despite the pain.  Mud covered her from head to toe.  Her white shirt was coated in a thick layer of brown.  She wiped the mud from her eyes and ran back to the start line.  The next two times she ran through without falling down and she was thankful that she didn’t embarrass herself again.  She didn’t look up at the balcony again, but she could feel Jacob’s eyes burrowing into the back of her skull.

After the course was the endurance run.  Liz trailed far behind the group but she didn’t stop.  She was determined not to make a fool of herself again.  Her legs were wobbly the whole tine and her lungs felt like they were on fire.  They ran for about two hours.  Taking laps around the chalet and through the woods.  The June sun was beating down hard, and Liz was sweating through her mud soaked shirt.  The mud had dried on her skin and in her hair.  She really needed a shower. 

The group eventually came to a stop at a ridge below the Chalet.  Liz buckled over with her hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath.  There were more of the black tents with targets set up across from them.  There were already men gathered at the tables eager to get their hands on a weapon.

Liz didn’t have much experience with weapons.  She went hunting when she was little with her father.  But her dad helped her the whole time and all she did was pull the trigger.  She had shot guns in the hallucination, but that wasn’t entirely real and Liz had been running on fear and pure instincts.

She walked along the rows of tables until she found an empty one.  Where she was expecting a gun waiting for her, she found throwing knives instead.  Liz let out a small sigh.  She didn’t even have a remote idea how to use throwing knives.  On the table resting five metal knives and in front of her was a wooden block with a red bullseye painted on it. 

The soldiers next to her knew exactly what they were doing, throwing the knives with precision and lodging them into the wood.  Liz surveyed their technique for a minute before inspecting the knives for herself.  She picked one up from the table.  It felt cold and smooth in her hand.  She took position and lodged the knife at the target.  It completely missed its objective and stuck in the dirt to the right of the wood block.

Liz cursed to herself.  Screwing up multiple times in the same day wasn’t her plan.  The next four knives hit the target but didn’t stick.  They all fell into a heap at the foot of the target.  She had waited for everyone to finish before she went and collected the knives.  With her undivided attention on making the knives stick, she fell into a rhythm.

Some knives would stick but most of the time they would hit the target with a dud and fall to the ground.  She zoned in completely on the target, focusing on making each knife stick.  Liz was finally getting the hang of it and would get at least half of the knives stick every time.

Something about getting the knives to impale into the target made Liz feel pride.  Like she wasn’t going to completely fail.  She could do this.  With hard work and practice she could belong here.  It would take time though.  For the first time since she came back home she felt like she had a purpose.  Something that was real and not some stupid college degree.  Her temporary peace was interrupted by an unexpected visitor.

“You ever going to hit something little lamb, or are you just going to stand there all day?”

Jacob growled into her ear.  The voice made Liz jump and sent chills down her spine.  How long had he been watching her?  She had been so focused in on the target she hadn’t been aware of her surroundings.  She did her best to regain her composure and shake him off.

“It would be easier to hit something if you weren’t glaring at me.” 

She turned her attention back to the target but he knocked the knife from her hand.

“Nah, I don’t think that’s it.  I think you’re lacking motivation.  We’re going to get those first-kill jitters out of the way.”

Jacob grabbed her arm and yanked her to the center table.  Everyone else at the range had stopped whatever they were doing to watch.

“Hey Ramirez! Bring one of them out here.”

The man Jacob had yelled at went down the hill from the gun range.  He returned dragging someone behind him.  The person was restrained and had a bag over their head.  They struggled to break free but it was no use.  Ramirez strung him up in front one of the targets.  Jacob held a knife in his hand for Liz to take. 

“Now little lamb I want you to hit the target.  And make it stick this time.”

Liz gasped and shook her head.

“No! I’m not going to kill an innocent person.”

One solider shoved her towards the table and Jacob dropped the knife in her hands.  His blue eyes were piercing daggers into her.  These were her consequences for talking back to him.

“Cull the herd.  Do what needs to be done or you’ll be sorry.”

She looked back to him, defiance in her eyes.

“I know what needs to be done.”

Liz examined the knife in her hand.  She had already made up her mind about what she was going to do.  She got in the position to throw, but the knife never crossed the range.  Liz whipped around with the knife in hand driving straight for Jacob’s chest.

But he was too quick.  He caught her hand in midair with ease only moments before it would impale his chest.  Jacob twisted her wrist and Liz let out a shriek of pain as the knife fell to the ground.  Two of his men kicked her in the gut, causing her to fall to her knees.  Jacob bent down so he was eye level with her.

“Well goddamn girl.  You say you won’t kill anyone and then there you are trying to drive a knife into my chest.”

A wicked smirk came to her lips and she let out a low chuckle.

“Yeah well, you’re not innocent.”

Maybe it wasn’t the brightest idea to be a smartass to Jacob Seed, but she didn’t really care.  If she was going to die, she at least wanted to have the last word.  Jacob wasn’t amused by her sarcasm.  He let out an agitated sigh.

“Throw her in one of the cages.  Leave her there till I say.”

The two men dragged Liz from the shooting range.  She didn’t bother to stand, letting the men drag her all the way there.  They took her a bit down range to the cages.  The six cages were occupied with only corpses.  They threw her in one and locked the gate behind them.  Liz had taken her shot and she had blew it.  Jacob saw that move coming from a mile away.  Maybe it was for the best though.  If she had killed Jacob, where would that have left her?  The cultists would have shot her and she’d be dead.  That scenario wouldn’t have helped anyone.

There was something about him that just pissed her off.  Anytime Liz laid her eyes upon Jacob Seed she became flustered.  He had put her through the ringer, but he hadn’t killed her yet.  That had to count for something.  He had a purpose for keeping her around and she was clueless as to why.

As the sun beat down on her, Liz shook the thoughts from her mind.  There was no point of overthinking things when she couldn’t do anything about it.  She had been stupid, and now she was paying for it.  There was nothing that she could do but sit and wait. 

..

Jacob stormed off from the gun range as soon as the girl had been drug away.  He cursed to himself.  How could he have been so foolish?  He had underestimated her.  Jacob half expected the girl to break down into tears, again.  He almost paid the price for it too.  Jacob wasn’t afraid of dying.  He welcomed death, but he didn’t want to be taken down by a girl the size of a toothpick. 

There had been many times where he had accepted that he was going to die, but each time he survived.  Somehow.  It was almost as if this was his punishment, to live out the rest of his miserable days on Earth.  After the war he had been alone.  He had been tossed aside like garbage.  He didn’t have anyone or anything.  He had been a weapon without a purpose.  Then his brothers had found him and gave him a purpose once again.  He loved John and Joseph and he would do anything for them.

Sometimes though he wondered what the cost of all this would be.  They were together but they would never be a normal family.  Time and circumstance was responsible for that.  Jacob barely saw his brothers and when he did something needed to be done.  He hated having to work with his ‘sister’.  Joseph had adopted so many ‘ _Faiths’_ that he had lost track what number she was.  Jacob didn’t care that she had been brought into the project.  The girl did her job well and helped their operation.  He hated having to pretend that she was his sister.  She wasn’t there when things were bad.  She was just another one of Joseph’s devoted followers.  Not that it mattered.  She would most likely fail like all the others before her did.

He still didn’t know what to do with Liz though.  Jacob was so sure that the video would have made the Whitetails come running out of their hole to save her.  Maybe he had overestimated Eli’s affections for the girl.  Even if she was his niece, Eli wouldn’t sacrifice his whole operation for one person.  He would be smart about it.  Jacob still had expected something more from the rag tag group of rebels though. 

That damn girl had made things more difficult ever since she had gotten here.  Jacob would have expected her to know something, but he knew she didn’t.  She hadn’t set foot in Montana for years.  She probably knew where Eli’s cabin was but they had discovered that long ago.  The old man would have never told her where his bunker was.

Jacob had stormed back to the chalet and into his office.  He slammed the door behind him.  He was still at a stalemate on what to do with her.  All his years of military training and tactics and Jacob couldn’t come up with a decent plan on what to do with this stupid girl.  Maybe his brother Joseph could be of some use.  His brother had never steered him wrong before.  He would know what to do.

…

When Liz woke again, it was morning the next day.  The night in the cage had been long and cruel.  The wind had ripped mercilessly at her and she had heard growls that belonged to wolves.  She was still covered in dried mud from head to toe, but hygiene had become the least of her worries.  Sitting in the hot sun all day, thirst had started to plague her.  A day without food or water.  It was a punishment worse than any music box could conjure.

She wasn’t alone.  Jacob was walking over to her cage along with another man.  He had dark hair that was pulled back into a bun.  He wore dark jeans, a white button up shirt, a black vest, and yellow tinted sunglasses.  Jacob and the man touched foreheads and the man walked towards her.  Jacob hung back.

Liz had scrambled back from the bars.  If this man was held in such a high regard by Jacob Seed, there’s no telling what he would do to her. 

But the man with the yellow sunglasses approached the cage and simply knelt down so he was eye level with Liz.  His smile contained kindness, but his eyes told a different story. 

“Do not be afraid my child.  The Lord has brought you back here to me for a reason.”

There was something about his voice that seemed to calm Liz down.  She slowly inched forward towards the bars, curious to find out who the man in the sunglasses was.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you Elizabeth.  But you have returned home.  This is where you’re supposed to be.”

She was puzzled to hear her full name spoken aloud.  Liz had never seen this man before and yet he acted like he had always known her.

“You know me?” she asked.

“Yes, of course.  I sought you out many years ago to join our project, but your parents turned me away.  I told them that your whole family could come and be safe from the collapse, but they still refused.  Then I asked them what it would take for you to join, and they said… money.  For you to go off and receive an education.”

The man sighed.

“Money.  Greed.  It corrupts even the best of us.  It consumes us and then we are left with nothing.  Despite their sin, I obliged your parents.  I told them that I would give them the money, with the understanding that when you returned you would join my family here.  But I knew that you wouldn’t be fooled by the consumerism and the lies of the outside world.  And here you are.  You’re home now.”

Liz couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  Her parents had sold her off to a cult.  That’s where they got the money to send her to college.  They probably pocketed the rest and then they left town.  She felt betrayed.  Like she couldn’t even trust the people she had always loved.  Despite the new revelations about her family, she only had one question on her mind.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“My name is Joseph.  I’m Jacob’s brother.  God has told me that the world is coming to an end.  I lead these people for the collapse that will soon come.  But you are now part of the chosen few that will survive.  I am your father, and you are my child and together we will march to Eden’s Gate.”

Tears came to Liz’s eyes.  This man was crazy.  She didn’t want any of this.  She didn’t want to be chosen.  Joseph offered her Liz his hand to comfort her and to her own surprise, she took it.  His words held weight but his tone was soft and soothing to the soul.

“You have no reason to worry.  It’s not an easy thing to hear at first.  I can see it in your eyes that this world had let you down.  That you’ve always wanted something more.”

Liz didn’t say it, but he was right.  She was always wanting for more than what she had.  The outside world was cruel and unfair, but it still wasn’t as crazy as Joseph Seed.

“You are safe now.  We will protect you from the collapse.  We will welcome you into our family just as you are, but you have to be willing to do the same.  You have to let go of the sinners who cannot be saved.  For not everyone can be chosen.”

Joseph wiped the tear away that was on her cheek.

“Will you pray with me?”

Liz nodded.  Joseph prayed for strength, for wisdom, for guidance on the coming collapse.  Liz prayed for freedom, for peace, and she prayed that she could get as far away from The Seed Brothers as humanly possible.

Joseph stood up and smiled.

“I’ll see you soon my child.”

He walked back over to where Jacob was standing.  Liz couldn’t make out exactly what he said to Jacob, something about a job well done.  Joseph was gone as quickly as he had come.  Jacob walked over to the cage.

“I’m surprised you could keep your mouth shut for that long.” He said.

Liz gripped the bars of the cage until her knuckles turned white.

“Yeah well one Seed already hates my guts.  I didn’t need to piss off big brother too.”

Jacob smirked.  Liz was confused by his amusement.

“Yeah well you’ve already pissed him off, because I’m the oldest of my brothers.” He said.

Her eyes grew wide and she sighed.

“Fuck my life.”

Jacob shook his head as he pulled out the wooden music box.  Liz saw it and started to panic.  Her breathing had become labored at the mere sight of it.  Her arms flailed wildly as she tried to get her hands on it.  She grabbed Jacob’s arm and gripped it hard.

She shook her head.  “Please no.  Not again.”

He ignored her pleads and started to crank the music box.

“You are not saved, you are weak.  And you need to learn your purpose.”

He opened the box and music started to spill out of it.

‘ _Onlyyyy youuuu…_ ’

She released Jacob’s arm from her grasp and fell onto the ground.  Once again, red clouded her vision.  Her body stopped following her commands as she was sprawled out on the ground.  She couldn’t go back to the world on fire.  Not again.  She wasn’t strong enough.  The only thing she held on to in all the chaos was a single idea. 

She was going to kill Jacob Seed, even if it was the last thing she would do.

The world on fire had become easier this time.  Each man she encountered would disappear into a puff of smoke.  Every time Seed would praise her for her handiwork, she became even angrier.  She was determined to make the man pay for what he was doing to her.  Jacob’s conditioning was training her to kill.  So when the time came for her to make her sacrifice, she would be ready.

Liz had blown through the trial with ease.  When she dispatched her final target at the end, she slowly came back to reality.  It was nighttime and she was still locked in the cage.  It was now the end of her second day with no water.  Her tongue felt like sandpaper.  Elizabeth had never felt thirst like this.  She thought back to every survival show she had watched on TV, where water was life or death.  It had always seemed like a funny idea, like there would never be a situation where she would be without water.  Dehydration had started to take its toll on her.  Her head throbbed, her body was sore, and her vision had become blurry.  The conditioning that Jacob had put her through hadn’t been helping either.  If she wasn’t let out of the cage soon, she would die.

She curled up into a ball on the ground, trying to shield herself from the cold.  She just hoped that after she shut her eyes they would open again.

…

Liz had finally fallen into a restless sleep when they came for her.  Four men had opened her cage and snatched her.  She was awake before her body had left the ground.  The four men had a hold of her and were dragging her outside the cage.  A few feet down from the cages was a cliff that dropped off at least 30 feet.  They were going to kill her. 

 She started to kick and scream.  She did not want to die today.  This couldn’t be how she died.  The men had drug her flailing form to the edge of the cliff.  She looked out over the edge.  The land below was dark and unforgiving.  In the darkness, it looked like it went on forever without end.  Liz struggled against the men but it was no use.  She was powerless against them, she had to be smarter. 

Just before she was about to be tossed over, Liz reached her head back and bit down hard on an arm that had her constrained.  She could taste blood in her mouth and she ripped off the skin where she had bitten than man. The man yelled out in pain and Liz was dropped to the ground.  She kicked the man square in the crotch.  He lost his balance and fell off the cliff.  His screams seemed to last forever before he hit the bottom. 

The other three men grabbed her to throw her over.  She struggled against them and dug her heels into the dirt.  Her feet had started to dangle over the edge when a sniper shot cracked through the sky.  The .50 bullet pierced one man’s skull and his blood splattered Liz’s face.  The man let out a straggled breath before he went over the cliff.  The other men had started to panic, searching for the assailant, but it didn’t help them.  Two more shots were fired and both men met the same fate.

Liz had slipped from their grasp and started to tumble off the edge of the cliff.  She gripped the rocks on the edge of the cliff.  Her iron grip was the only thing keeping her from certain death.

A pair of boots had appeared at the edge of the cliff.  The boots were attached to none other than Jacob Seed.  He was holding a bolt-action sniper rifle that was painted bright red.  The man that she despised had just saved her life.

“You gonna pull yourself up, little lamb?” He said.

“Please just help me.”

Jacob thought for a minute.

“No.  Do it yourself.  The weak don’t have a place here.”

Liz gritted her teeth.  She was hanging off the edge of a cliff and he was just going to stand there and watch. 

“You’re such a dick.” She spat.

Her arms had started to grow tired.  She tried to grab hold of the rock with her feet, but it was too steep.  Despite the cold wind, sweat had started to form on her brow.  Liz tried to pull herself up once again but she was too weak.  Her lack of arm strength and fatigue from lack of water was her undoing. 

Her arms gave out.  All her strength was gone and she let go of the rocks that were her lifeline.  She closed her eyes waiting for her end, but strong arms caught her.

She looked up to see that Jacob had grabbed her arms, stopping her from falling off the cliff.  With his rifle strapped to his back, he pulled Liz up off the rocks and into his arms.  She was too exhausted to protest being held.  She felt so small being held like this.  Jacob was a large man.  He was tall and broad chested.  He had saved her life twice in one night.  He even killed his own men to do it and she had no idea why. 

Jacob started to carry her back to the chalet.  This man was her enemy, but Liz felt safe in his arms.  As if nothing would ever happen to her as long as she was with him.  She nuzzled her face into his chest even though she knew she shouldn’t.  He smelled like gunpowder and pine trees.  It was a strange combination, but Liz thought it suited him. 

She looked up at her savior.  Jacob’s striking blue eyes pierced through the darkness and there was a scowl on his face.

“Why’d you save me?” She asked.

“Because any man that turns on his fellow soldiers is a coward.  And cowards don’t get to live.”

Liz thought his answer was strange, but she didn’t question it.  Her body was crippled and weak.  She felt so helpless in her arms.  Her eyes had started to grow heavy.  She started to laugh.

“I’m still going to kill you.” She said.

She couldn’t fully she his face, but she was positive that Jacob smiled.  The last thing she heard before she fell asleep was his voice.

“Good luck with that.”


	4. Locus in our Garden

The lights in the infirmary were bright and blinding to the eye.  It was probably the cleanest place on the whole grounds.  It was free from corpses and guns.  It was the only place that felt normal.  Liz had been recovering for the past two days.  Today she would go back to her training.  She was mostly healed but she still had bruises and lacerations that ran across her stomach.

She had been shot with an arrow, knocked out several times, brainwashed, fell off a zip line, gotten the shit beat out of her, been locked in a cage, and was almost thrown off a cliff, all in the past few days.  Even though it wasn’t long ago when her life was normal, she longed for the days back in her apartment.  When her problems weren’t important, and every step wasn’t life or death.  She hadn’t seen Jacob since he had saved her life.  The past two days she had puzzled over why he didn’t just let her die.  She didn’t have a purpose here. 

The people here were relatively nice.  The women had cleaned her up and fed her.  Even though there wasn’t any blood in her mouth, she could still taste it.  She could still hear the man’s screams before he had hit the forest floor and Liz was responsible for it.  She had killed a man.  It was in self-defense, but the thought of it still left her uneasy.  She was a murderer. 

The clothes she had been given were clean and mud-free.  Her stomach still hurt but she could move fine.  As long as no one kicked her in the gut she was going to be okay.  She joined the group outside the chalet.  The training for today was the same.  Obstacle course, endurance run, weapons training.  The obstacle course was easier now that she knew what she was doing and the endurance run was Liz’s favorite part of the day.  The fresh air was calming.  Hope County was a gorgeous place.  She had taken this place for granted.  All her childhood she had just wanted to get out of this place, but it really was something special.

Next was weapons training.  Liz was afraid that someone would bring up what happened the last time she was at the range.  But no one brought it up.  This wasn’t the rest of the world.  People didn’t make fun of her because of her faults.  This was an army and they were preparing for the end of the world. 

Throughout the next three weeks Liz had learned how to use a variety of weapons.  She shot pistols, shotguns, machine guns, and sniper rifles.  She excelled with close range weapons but she was a terrible shot with a sniper rifle.  She couldn’t hit the side of a barn at ten feet with a sniper.  Her weapons of choice were a .44 revolver and a D2 sawed off shotgun.  She had grown fond of one shotgun in particular.  It was gold and engraved with the Eden’s Gate symbol.  Someone had told her it was called the ‘Sin Eater’.

Elizabeth Palmer was no longer some college girl, she was a soldier and a survivor.  If only her Uncle Eli could see her now.  He would be proud that she could protect herself but then make some joke about how he knew she was crazy all along and it was no surprise that she joined a cult.  She didn’t believe that Joseph talked to God or that the end of the world was coming but he was right about some things.  The world was cruel and treated many unfairly.  Eden’s Gate took people in who had no one and gave them a family.  That was about the only good thing that they did.  The cult had also kidnapped and killed many people who didn’t want to be a part of their ‘family’.

Jacob hadn’t shown up in the past three weeks.  Liz looked for him every day but he never showed.  She never saw him but she heard him all the time.  His own personal ‘sermons’ were broadcasted over the grounds of the chalet.  Most of them were about evolution and the weak.  If she had a nickel for every time she heard the phrase ‘Cull the Herd’, she’d be rich.  Most of the time she would tune his voice out but there was one thing he was right about.  The training did become instinctual. 

Liz spent her free time reading The Book of Joseph.  She had read it several times.  The story of this crazy man had captivated her.  Joseph and his brothers had went through hell ever since childhood.  Joseph had been beaten and abused by foster parents and he was fired from about every job he had.  His youngest brother John had also been abused and preyed upon, having to confess his sins to his foster parents. 

The story that had captivated her the most was Jacob’s.  He had been a rebellious child, always picking fights and getting into trouble.  He had even burnt down his foster parent’s house.  Jacob was sent to juvy as a child and then joined the army not long after that.  The stories of his time in Iraq and Afghanistan were horrific.  The things he had done to people and what he had to do haunted Liz.  He had told her the first time they met that he had done things she would never understand and he was right. 

The part that had always broke her was the story of Jacob in the homeless shelter.  His brothers had found him curled up in a corner, chanting their names.  His brothers wouldn’t have even recognized him if he didn’t say their names.  As much as she thought, Liz could never picture Jacob Seed like that.  He had always been strong and intimidating to her, but deep down he was a broken man.  A life of abuse and the hell of war had been the cause.  Her feelings for the redheaded soldier had changed after reading about him.  She didn’t know how she felt but she didn’t feel the hatred for him that she did before.

Today was Sunday.  Liz had been a captive of Eden’s Gate for almost a month.  Tonight Joseph would be giving a special sermon at his church.  He wanted all of his followers in attendance.  The Chosen would be attending the sermon tonight.  They had all loaded into vans to head to the sermon.  The windows on the van were barred and mostly blacked out.  Liz didn’t care, she was just thankful she wasn’t cuffed and gagged.  The men and women she was with mainly talked about how they were excited to see the father again.  Liz didn’t open her mouth.  These people weren’t her friends or her family.  They were just people who were in her path to survival.

Even with the blackened windows, she could tell that the last rays of the sun had started to fade away.  It would soon be nighttime.  The van eventually came to a stop south of the Whitetail Mountains.  When she was let out of the van, the sky was dark and stars shone in the sky.  They were at Joseph’s compound.  This place was the heart and soul of the cult.

The compound was smaller than she expected, but still heavily fortified.  It was on an island in the middle of the county. There were several white buildings scattered about the compound.  Each one looked heavily guarded.  The entire compound was surrounded by a ten foot tall fence with barb wire at the top.  Anyone was a fool if they tried to break into this place.

There were flocks of cultists everywhere.  Some were fighters and heavily armed.  Others were defenseless women and children.  All of the cultists were dressed differently, depending on which region they lived in and which herald they served.  Liz wasn’t dressed like they rest of the chosen.  The chosen wore red shirts and white camo jackets.  She was wearing her long sleeve Henley shirt.  She wasn’t one of them, she was only under the control of Jacob Seed because of her relative.

The group continued on towards the church.  The archway read ‘ _Church of Eden’s Gate_ ’.  The church was simple in appearance, it didn’t look like a crazy cultist’s church.  It looked exactly like the church in Fall’s End that she had gone to every Sunday as a child.  The doors were open and beckoning everyone inside. 

Liz piled in with the other chosen and sat in the third row from the front.  As soon as the crowd had settled down her eyes landed on Jacob.  When their eyes met, Liz felt a chill go down her spine.  She had gone three weeks without seeing him and she forgot how intimidating his stare could be.

There were two other people standing in the front as well, which she assumed were his siblings.  The man had dark hair and wore a trench coat, he must be John.  The woman that had blonde hair and wore a white lace dress was his sister Faith.

When Joseph came out, the congregation cheered, happy to see their father.

“Thank you my children.  I am happy to see you all on this wonderful night.  Let us being in song.”  He said.

Joseph led the crowd in Amazing Grace.  As crazy as he was, his voice was angelic.  Joseph Seed had a way of even making the most stubborn people stop to listen.  Liz sang along.  Her voice wasn’t nearly as nice but she didn’t care.  She felt like she was in church again with her family.  But this wasn’t church with Pastor Jerome, she was captive to a cult.

Among the singing of the cultists, Liz heard something outside.  Everyone else was too invested in The Father to pay attention.  But she wasn’t the only one that had heard something, Jacob had heard the noise too.  It sounded like helicopter blades.  She would have thought nothing of it if Jacob hadn’t reacted.  Eden’s Gate had an unexpected visitor and Liz had no doubt that it wouldn’t end well.

The doors to the church opened, and three police officers stepped inside.  Everyone inside the church had stopped singing.  Joseph was the first to speak.

“Something is coming.  You can feel it, can’t you?” He said.

All attention had been turned to the intruders in the church.  Liz immediately recognized Sheriff Whitehorse.  He had been friends with her father and he had pulled her over countless times for speeding.  One of the deputies was Joey Hudson.  She had graduated six years before Liz had.  Hudson had also played softball at Hope County High School.  She had been one of their best players and a legend.  They were joined by a U.S. Marshal and a deputy she had never seen before.  He was tall but skinny.  He had short brown hair and was clean shaven.  The deputy couldn’t have been much older than she was.  He was definitely the newbie of the group given his age.  Liz thought he was kind of cute. 

Everyone in the church was on edge.  Whatever was going to happen here it wasn’t going to be good.  Joseph began to talk the seven seals of the apocalypse.  As the sheriff walked forward, everyone in the pews began to stand up.  Liz stayed seated and fidgeted with her hands.  She thought that maybe she could escape.  Leave with the deputies or even just try to slip away in a car during all the chaos.

She looked up and met Jacob’s eyes once again.  He was shaking his head at her.  Jacob knew exactly when she was planning and he was telling her that if she went through with it she would be sorry. 

Joseph was yelling now.  He was angry.  The U.S. Marshal stepped forward to face him despite the protests from Sheriff Whitehorse.

“Joseph Seed.  I have a warrant issued for your arrest on the suspicion of kidnapping with the intent to harm.  I want you to step forward and keep your hands where I can see them.” The marshal said.

All of the cultists in the church started to protest. 

“Here they are the locus in our garden.  See they’ve come for me.  They’ve come to take me away from you.  They’ve come to destroy all that we’ve built!”  Joseph said.

The cultists started shouting at the deputies.  Whitehorse did his best to stop the situation from escalating.  Joseph simply stepped forward and addressed his flock.

“I knew this moment would come.  We’ve prepared for it.  Go…  Go.  God will not let them take me.” He said.

The congregation began to filter out of the church.  Jacob and his siblings gathered around their brother.  Jacob crossed his arms. 

‘ _He sure is an intimidating son of a bitch._ ’ Liz thought.

His icy blue eyes were the last thing she saw before she exited the church.  The cultists outside were in a complete panic.  Outsiders had come for their savior.  Liz made her way through the crowds of chattering cultists.  The deputies had brought a helicopter.  This could be her way out. 

There was one deputy waiting in the helicopter.  She made her way towards him and when she realized who it was, she couldn’t believe her eyes. 

“Staci?”

It was her ex-boyfriend Staci Pratt.  He had been one of her brother’s best friends and had dated her for three months in high school purely out of pity.  Liz panicked and scrambled behind the closest building, but Pratt had already seen her.  She hadn’t seen or talked to him in about six years.  This definitely isn’t how she had wanted to bump into him.  She hadn’t know that he had become a sheriff’s deputy.  But now the only thing Pratt knew about her is that she was with the cult.

Liz surveyed her surroundings.  There were a few trucks around the compound but she doubted that there would be keys with them.  She couldn’t leave with the sheriff now and she couldn’t steal a car.  She didn’t have many options left.  She noticed that beside the church was a riverbank, she could swim.  But once she got to the other side, what would she do?  She had no food, water, weapons, and nowhere to go.  Her only goal was to get the hell out of there.  It would be worth the risk.  She could find her Uncle.  That was her plan from the beginning. 

With Joseph in custody, the cult would be too distracted to find her.  This was her best chance for escape.  She made her way back across the compound towards the church.  All the cultists were scrambling around worrying about the fate of the father.  No one was paying attention to her.  She slid across the side of the church and lined herself up to swim.  It was at least a 200 yard stretch to land on the other side.  It lead straight back into the Whitetail Mountains.  She had never swam a distance this far, but she had to make it.  She had no other choice.

When the doors of the church opened again, Liz took off.  She didn’t even look back to see Joseph in cuffs.  She dove headfirst into the water.  The water was freezing and icy to the touch.  It made her body seize up for a moment, but she had to keep moving.  Liz kept her head underwater and started to swim.  She kicked her arms and legs under the surface of the water until she had to come up for air.  She was at least halfway across the river when her head emerged from the water.

Fear had started to set in that maybe someone had seen her.  The cultists could easily hop in their boat and snatch her out of the water, or shoot her from the shore.  She didn’t look back.  She ripped her arms through that water and came up periodically for breaths.  Liz wondered what Jacob was going to do when he discovered she was gone.  Jacob wasn’t one to lose his cool, but with his brother gone that might change.

When she finally reached the shore, she felt like she could cough up a lung.  It was colder on the shore than it was in the water.  The midnight winds ripped across the riverbank.  Liz was shivering.  She was soaked from head to toe.  Her legs were wobbly under her but she was able to get to her feet.  Her Uncle was out here somewhere.  She had to find him.  It was her only chance for survival. 

The Stone Ridge Chalet was in the south of the Whitetails, so north was her best bet.  Eli would be somewhere concealed.  She had heard from Jacob that Eli was leading a resistance against the cult.  He was most likely in a bunker somewhere.  Liz kept moving.  It was too cold to run but she couldn’t stop.  The terrain was rocky and concealed by trees.  She did her best to step only on rocks.  Doing her best not to leave any footprints to follow.  Despite her efforts, her soaked boots squished as she walked and left a sopping trail of water behind her.

The air was chilly and Liz clutched her sides in an attempt to keep herself warm.  There was no one out on the roads.  The citizens that remained in Hope County hunkered down and Eden’s Gate was too busy trying to get back their father.  Liz had been up and down the roads of this county for years but this was the only time it had been void of life.  Eden’s Gate had been responsible for that.  The cult had come into the town and changed it completely.  Now the only thing Hope County would be remembered for is being the home of a bunch of crazy people.

She kept heading north until she found a source of life.  It was a covered picnic area with several benches scattered around and there was a small wooden bathroom.  Something nailed to one wall of the bathroom caught her eye.  It was two posters put up by the cult.  One of them read ‘ _Sinner Wanted. Eli Palmer’_.  There was also a picture of her Uncle.  He looked so different from the last time she had seen him.  She ripped down the poster to inspect it closer.

His beard was longer and his eyes didn’t have the same joy they used to have in them.  The happy man that had used to be her uncle was gone.  The other poster was for a woman _Jess Black_.  Liz didn’t know who the woman was but if she was wanted by the cult, she was clearly dangerous.

The Oberlin Picnic Area didn’t have much.  There were scattered beer bottles and empty coolers that didn’t yield her any bottles of water.  She did find a yellow backpack that had some use though.  It had a sleeping bag, a first aid kit, two bottles of liquor, and spare 9 millimeter bullets.  No gun though, so the bullets were useless to her.  She also found a shovel lying around.  Some kind of defense was better than nothing. 

She thought about sleeping here, but it was too out in the open.  If a bear came along in the night, she would be eaten for sure.  With her shovel in hand, she kept moving.  She needed to get as far away from Joseph’s compound as she could tonight.  The rest would be tomorrow’s problem. 

Her mind wandered back to seeing Pratt.  He had been so shocked to see her.  Not that it mattered.  He had never really cared about Elizabeth.  He was kind of a douche in high school, but it looked like that had changed.  He had cleaned himself up and gotten a real job.  Staci had been living his own life without her.  He had never even bothered to check up on her once in six years.  He was a part of her past that she could never go back to.

The night seemed to drone on forever.  Liz kept trekking through the forest.  She couldn’t stop until she found somewhere relatively safe.  She gritted her teeth and kept moving.  Her clothes were still damp from her swim in the river.  Eventually Liz found a cabin north of the picnic area.  It was small but relatively intact.  The cult had gotten to it though.  This cabin had belonged to The Cooper’s.  They were nice people.  It’s a shame the cult got to them.

The cabin was in a complete disarray.  It was covered in bullet holes from top to bottom, every window had been shot out, and the markings of the cult were spray painted on the sides.  Despite the damage there was still a single light on in the cabin.  Someone had been here recently.  Hopefully they wouldn’t be back soon.

Liz decided that this would have to be good enough for tonight.  The inside of the cabin was just as destroyed as the outside.  Bullet casings covered the floor and almost everything inside was broken.  In the bedroom, there was a body.  The man had killed himself.  Liz covered her nose to block the stench and took the pistol from the man’s grasp.  She grabbed a pile of clothes off the ground as well.  She shut the door to the bedroom behind her.  She didn’t want to look at anymore corpses.

In the back room of the cabin she found bottles of water and cans of vegetables.  She brought them back out to the main room.  She shut the front door that was ajar and slid the couch in front of it.  Any intruder could crawl through the many open windows, but blocking the door made her feel a little better.  The wood in the fireplace was old but thankfully it was dry so it would burn.  There were matches in one of the kitchen drawers.  She poured a little of the liquor she had found onto the wood and lit the fireplace. 

As soon as she lit the fire, Liz immediately felt better.  She stripped off her wet clothes and threw them on the ground.  She didn’t want to wear the Eden’s Gate shit anymore.  The clothes she had found in the bedroom were dry and didn’t look too big.  She put on camo cargo pants and a long sleeve shirt.  The shirt was a black turtleneck and had American flag patches on the shoulders.  She scoffed once she saw herself in them.  She almost was dressed like Jacob _fucking_ Seed. 

Hopefully the soldier wasn’t on her tail.  Even though he was still in the church when she left, he was smart.  One look around and he would know that she was gone.  He was a hunter and a tracker.  Even though she did her best not to leave a trail, he would probably still find her.  With Joseph behind bars though, he would have bigger problems.  Liz hoped that he and his whole family would get put behind bars.  Then maybe all the crazy cultists would go away and she could have her home back.  That probably wouldn’t happen though. 

Liz sat back on the couch and opened up her food.  It wasn’t the greatest but it was something.  After being locked in a cage, she valued food and water a lot more.  She thought back to the person she had been a month ago and how much she had changed.  Now her brain was all screwed up, she could handle guns with ease, and she was a murderer.  Those really weren’t the best qualities to have as a twenty year old girl.  And soon she would be twenty-one.

She and her friends were planning on going out to a bar to celebrate her finally becoming a real adult.  Now she may not even live to see it.  Liz didn’t cry at the thought though.  As much as she wanted to, crying wasn’t going to help her.  It would only waste her time and bring her closer to death.

After she finished eating, Liz laid back on the couch and tried to get some rest.  Only she couldn’t sleep.  She laid on the couch for an hour trying to sleep but it was no use.  Thoughts were rattling in her brain, refusing to let her rest.  She got up off the couch and crawled over to the fireplace bringing the sleeping bag with her.  She pulled her knees up to her chest and let the warmth from the fire soothe her worried soul.  She pulled out the wanted poster of her Uncle and clutched it to her chest.

Liz didn’t know that she was only a few hundred feet from the Wolf’s Den bunker, where the Whitetails were.  Liz was so close to finding her Uncle and she had no idea.

Maybe she would find her Uncle Eli.  Maybe she would survive.  But her mind continued to wander back to the redheaded soldier who was probably on his was on his way right now to cull the herd.

It’s what he did.

…

Jacob gritted his teeth as Joseph gave himself willingly to the cops.  He had shook his head at Joseph but he didn’t listen to him.  Why didn’t people just listen to him?  With the wave of his hand he could have had the cops dead as soon as they set foot in the church.  If people just listened to Jacob all their problems would go away. 

Joseph was so certain that God would protect him, but that was Jacob’s job.  He would die for his brother without question.  It was his purpose in life.  As Jacob watched his brother walk away in cuffs, he felt so helpless.  If they took his brother he would personally make sure the he put every single one of those cops in the ground.

When the doors to the church opened again, the whole place was in pandemonium.  Jacob trailed behind his brother with his hand on his holster.  When he made it out the doors, he heard a splash in the water.  He walked over to the riverbank and looked out.  He didn’t see anything out of the ordinary but he definitely heard something.  He had turned to walk away when he saw it. 

A figure emerged from the water.  It was small and had golden hair. 

‘ _You’ve got to be fucking kidding me._ ’ Jacob thought.

The girl had bolted.  She saw her shot and she took it.  Jacob was almost impressed by her quick thinking.  Joseph getting arrested was sure the hell of a distraction.  He would find her though.  She wasn’t smart enough to avoid him.  There was no one that could outsmart Jacob Seed.

He walked away from the river.  He would have plenty of time to find her.  Right now he had to get his brother back.  The deputies were loading him up on the helicopter.  It started to take off and his men started to climb onto the helicopter.  The deputies tried to shove them off but they just kept coming.  When the chopper was at least fifteen feet in the air, one man jumped into the blades.

The chopper blades sliced him into a million pieces and halted the chopper’s ascent.  The helicopter crashed outside the fence to the compound.  For a split second Jacob thought that he might have lost his brother.  All of his men were frozen in fear, gawking at the flames that sprouted from the crash.

“Are we blind?  Get out there and find The Father!” Jacob yelled.

The men were broken from their trance and took off in the direction of the flames.  Jacob drew his red and black 1911 pistol from his holster and ran off to find his brother.

When he got to the crash he was surprised to find Joseph completely unscathed.  He didn’t have a single scratch on him.  Jacob didn’t always believe his brother but he was for sure right about one thing, God would not let anyone take him.  His men had already seized most of the deputies from the chopper.  Joseph had already sent others after the sheriff and the one deputy that had escaped.

Jacob approached his brother, relieved to see him alive.

“Jacob… My brother.” Joseph said.

The two men touched foreheads.

“Fate had brought us towards the edge.  The reaping has begun.  Do what you need to prepare.” He said.

Jacob nodded.  They had waited a long time for this.  They were ready.  Jacob would make sure his men did what needed to be done.  His men had drug out the marshal and two deputies from the crash.  One was a woman with dark hair and the other was a man who had the face of a young boy.  He looked weak.  Jacob thought it would be fun to break him.  He pointed to the male deputy.

“I want that one.  Take him to the Grand View and start him on the trials.  I got something I have to do first.”

Jacob sighed and started to walk off.

“Where are you off to brother?” Joseph asked.

“I’ve got to tie up some loose ends real quick.”

“It’s that girl isn’t it?  Elizabeth.”

Jacob stopped in his tracks and turned to face his brother.  “Yeah.  She took off.”

“Then may God guide you in your quest.  Bring my child back to me Jacob.”

“Of course.”

Jacob walked away from the crash and holstered his weapon.  He had considered killing the girl for all the trouble she was worth, but his brother had other plans.  Maybe he could send her over to Faith’s region to become an angel.  He thought she was pretty enough that the title would fit her well.  But it would be a shame for all that training he spent on her to be put to waste in the bliss. 

He walked back over to the riverbank where she had jumped in.  She had definitely made it across the shore by now but she couldn’t have gotten far on foot.  He inspected the footprints she had left in the mud.  It didn’t take him long to figure out what direction she went in.  He got in the boat that was on the shore and took off after Liz.  The cold air ripped across the water.  Jacob thought about where she would have gone.  She was probably freezing her ass off right now.  She wouldn’t be out in the open.  She would have hunkered down in some cabin and would be there until morning.  That meant he had all night to find her before she moved. 

Jacob drove the boat up to shore and got out.  There were more prints in the mud.  She had crawled up on the shore and started to head north.  The tracks stopped where the forest began.  She had been careful about where she stepped, only walking on the rocks.

He couldn’t help but smirk to himself.  ‘ _Good girl._ ’ He thought.

The hunt only excited him. 

There was one thing she couldn’t have prevented though, she was soaking wet.  And just as he suspected there was a trail of water on the rocks.  Jacob was thrilled.  To him there was nothing more exhilarating than hunting down his prey.  He was the wolf and the girl was his prey.

Jacob followed the water trail until it stopped at the road.  There was a small picnic area a few dozen feet from him.  She had stopped here to catch her breath.  He walked over to where the sinner posters were.  One of them had been torn down.  The girl had ripped down Eli’s poster.  As smart as she was, he noticed that her emotions seemed to get the best of her.  Her faith in that man would be her undoing. 

He kept following the path that she had left before him.  He tracked her footprints, branches she snapped, and followed puddles of water that was leading him straight back to her.  It was almost if she wanted Jacob to find her.  But that wasn’t the case.  If it were anyone else searching for her she could have slipped away easily.  Jacob though, was an expert hunter and could find anyone no matter how much they didn’t want to be found. 

While he had kept a steady trail, he had been searching for a couple hours.  Part of Jacob had expected to stumble across the girl’s body, already exhausted from the cold.  After following her trail some more Jacob spotted a small plume of black smoke in the sky.  That was it.  She had lit a fire.  She had probably assumed that Joseph had gotten arrested and that their operation would be too broken to function without him.

It wasn’t a bad assumption, but it was one that was going to cost her.  Jacob went in the direction of the smoke and found a cabin.  There was a soft orange glow coming from the cabin.  Jacob thought about what he would do when he went inside.  The girl would most likely try to fight him or pull a weapon on him.  He thought about making the girl beg to take her back with him.  He could make her get on her knees and beg until she was grateful for what he had done for her.  Part of Jacob enjoyed the thought of Liz on her knees, begging for him.  He dismissed the thought as quickly as it came.  That girl had been a pain in his ass since she had gotten here.  She deserved to know what a nuisance she had been to him.

He approached the cabin.  He remembered when he and his men had destroyed this place.  The place was riddled with bullet holes and all the windows had been shot out.  That was a fun day.  Any day when he gets to shoot something is a fun day for Jacob.  He pulled his gun from his holster and silently stepped through the open window.

The girl was curled up into a ball by the fireplace.  She was wrapped in a blanket and the poster of Eli was sitting at her feet.  Jacob opened his mouth to speak but the girl beat him to it.

“If you’re going to kill me, please just go ahead and do it.” She said.

Jacob was shocked by her words.  He thought she would get up to attack him in a blind rage, but she just sat there.

“Little lamb if I was going to kill ya.  I would’ve done it already.” He scoffed and holstered his gun. 

Her voice was soft.

“I wish you would have.  I can’t do this anymore.”  She brought out a pistol from under the blanket and slid it across the floor so it was at his feet.

“Do what anymore?  Be a pain in the ass?  You know I wasn’t planning on blowing your pretty little brains out but I might change my mind.” He said.

The girl scrunched up her face.  She got up to face him.  She was looked pissed.  She started him down.  She was at least a foot shorter than him but she didn’t back away.  She poked him in the chest.  The lamb wanted to pick a fight with the wolf. 

“I didn’t ask for any of this.  I didn’t do anything to you people before I came back here.  You’ve kidnapped me, starved me, locked me in a cage, and forced me to fight in your goddamn holy war!” Liz spat.

Jacob laughed at her response.

“Oh poor you.”

He started walking towards her.  She didn’t stand her ground.  Jacob kept coming towards her until she was pressed against the wall.  He put his hands on the wall beside her head.

“You think I asked to be beaten by my father?  To get separated from my brothers?  You think I asked to get sent off to war?  To get shot down in the middle of a desert and have to eat my friend to survive?  I didn’t ask for any of that shit but it still happened to me.”

He never raised his voice at her but he was still terrifying.

“The world doesn’t care what you asked for.  The weak sit around and complain about their lives, the strong fight their problems.” He growled into her ear.

He was so close to her now.  His breath was hot on her neck.  She looked away but Jacob grabbed her chin so she was looking in his eyes.

“I’ve been soft on you.  You have no idea what I could do to you.  The ways I could make you hurt until you were begging for death.  But I haven’t done any of that shit to you, have I?  You should be grateful for what I’ve done for you.  Who were you before you met me, huh?  Some dumb sorority girl.  And now look at you.”

She gritted her teeth.  “My life was fine before I met you.”

“I doubt it little lamb.  You’re not pissed because I locked you in a cage.  You’re pissed because you found your purpose.  And you know that you can’t go back.” He said.

Jacob let go of her chin and backed off of her.  His point had been made. 

“And what exactly is my purpose?” She asked.

“You survive shit.  Even though you shouldn’t be able to.”

Jacob meant what he said.  That girl seemed to survive anything despite all the odds being stacked against her.  It was uncanny. 

Jacob noticed a yellow backpack on the floor and snatched it up.  The girl had opened her mouth to protest but didn’t say anything.  He pulled out a bottle of cheap beer.  He sat down on the couch and leaned back.  He pulled out his hunting knife and popped the top to the beer.  When it met his lips it tasted like shit but it was better than nothing.  The girl was puzzled by his actions.  She curled back into a ball on the opposite wall and faced him.  He felt just like Old Man Seed.  Shitty couch, bottle in hand, and a woman he didn’t deserve at his feet.

Jacob thought about what his life could have been if things had gone differently.  If he had lived a normal life with normal parents.  If he hadn’t gone through the shit he had gone through.  He had always imagined himself living in a cabin like this.  Somewhere out in the woods in north Georgia where it was peaceful. 

He had never thought about having a family much.  There was always some war to fight.  He fought his father, he fought the system, he fought for his country, and now he fought for his brother.  Jacob had never thought much about having a wife.  He had been with a several women before but they were just a temporary weakness.  Something to make the nights easier.  His brother Joseph was married before and his brother John had countless lovers in the past. 

But not Jacob.  That was something that had always seemed to slip through the cracks for him.  Love and women had no place on a battlefield.  That was never his purpose.  He never had time for things like that.  The girl sitting across from him was very young and beautiful.  If he had lived a normal life he might have married someone like her.

It didn’t matter though.  Thinking about what-ifs didn’t help him.  Jacob was too far broken to have a family.  Or for anyone to care about him.  His only purpose now was to serve his brother.

“Why did you save me that night?” She asked.

He rolled his eyes.  She didn’t know how to just leave things alone.  “Because those men weren’t following my orders and they needed to be put down for being cowards.”

“But… why did you pull me up from the cliff?  You could have just let me die and you didn’t” She asked again.

He stared her down.  She clearly wouldn’t this go until he gave her some sort of answer.

“I did it because you’re still useful to me.  And if you weren’t I would have enjoyed hearing your skull crack open on the rocks.”

The girl said nothing to his spiteful comment.  Jacob would have enjoyed listening to her die but he still needed her.  Things would have been a lot simpler for him though if his men had just tossed her over the cliff.

“My Uncle hasn’t tried to get me back.” She said.

She wasn’t asking him.  It was a statement of fact.  She knew.

“He’s not coming for you sweetheart.  The sooner you accept that the easier this is gonna be.  Hell, if someone had one of my brothers I wouldn’t stop until I had them back.”

“But didn’t your brother just get arrested?” She asked.

Jacob chuckled to himself.  She didn’t know.  “He did.  But then the chopper crashed and he walked away without a scratch.”

She let out a sigh.  “Yeah that seems about right.  He really is chosen or some shit.  No wonder it only took you about three hours to find me.” She said. 

He was surprised that she had been counting down the moments until his arrival.  She had known that he was going to come for her.

“Three hours, huh?  Damn I’ve been slacking.  If only I had my judges with me I would have found you like that…”  He snapped his fingers.

“Yeah well, it was worth the risk if it meant I could get away from you.”  There was venom in her words but she smiled innocently.

“But I guess it doesn’t matter because you’re like some goddamn blood hound.” She said.

Jacob was amused by her words.  No one had been blunt with him in a long time.  Everyone around him was too afraid of him to speak their minds.  Jacob wanted it that way, his men needed to respect him and know who was in charge.  But it was nice for someone to fight him sometimes.  He welcomed the challenge.

“Keep sweet talking me little lamb.  I rather enjoy it.”

She rolled her eyes.  Jacob enjoyed pushing her buttons and getting her all riled up.

“Fuck. You.” She spat.

“Oh honey… you couldn’t handle it.  But if you really wanted to you can join me on the couch over here.  I’d make an exception for only you…”

He patted the spot beside him suggestively.

The girl’s eyes grew wide.  Jacob could see the blush rising in her cheeks.  She huffed in response and buried her face in her knees.  He chuckled.

That’s what he thought.  The girl had no problem cussing him out or trying to kill him but the moment he made a suggestive comment, she folded.  He needed to remember that the next time she was pissing him off.  Jacob wasn’t surprised but he was a little disappointed.  He could have really used a stress reliever.  Even though most of the deputies had been captured, he was positive that he was in for some shit real soon.  Now though, all he wanted to do was relax. 

He sunk deeper into the couch.  The beer was definitely helping.  Jacob didn’t drink a lot.  He didn’t like the feeling of not being in control.  He wanted to be alert at all times.  Threats could come from anywhere at any time.  He felt more relaxed but he didn’t dare close his eyes.  The last thing he needed was to be stabbed by the girl in his sleep.

They sat there for a while in silence.  The small fire in the corner didn’t do much to fight off the cold.  It was past midnight and with each hour it grew colder.  Jacob knew he couldn’t sit there forever but he wished he could. 

With a grunt he got up from the couch.  The reaping had started and there was shit that needed to be done.  He pushed the couch aside and opened the door.

“Alright little lamb you have two options; you can get up and follow me out the door on your own two feet or I can throw you over my shoulder.  Either way is fine by me.”

The girl sat there for a minute, pondering the options.  Without a word she got up and followed Jacob out the door like a lost puppy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope ya'll liked the little backstories that I've given the deputies. Rook will also be making an appearance in later chapters. Hope ya'll are still enjoying the story!


	5. Little Lamb and Peaches

Liz was grateful to not be at the chalet anymore.  The veteran’s center wasn’t much better though.  She had only been there for two days and she already hated it.  After her stunt at the cabin Jacob told her that she needed to be kept under his watchful eye.  He also had told her that if she tried something like that again he would kill her without hesitation.

She had been put on wolf duty.  Everyone had a job to do and even the weak had a purpose.  The barracks in the veteran’s center were mostly clean but the facility as a whole was her personal fucking nightmare.  It was where Jacob ran his main operations.  She was right in the heart of the wolf’s den.

She had been woken up early this morning.  She was on one of the teams that checked the wolf beacons.  They were checked every morning to pick up any potential judges.  Liz was riding in a truck with her wolf partner.  His name was Marcus.  He was older but he was nice enough.  They didn’t speak much.  Liz didn’t really know who she could trust.   

The truck pulled up to the first wolf beacon of the day.  The waling noise from the beacon carried across the woods.  The air was cold and the sun had barely began to rise.  There was only one wolf that had been drawn to the beacon.  The wolf was average in size.  He wasn’t one of the strongest but he might survive.

Liz hated that she had to do this.  These wolves should just be left alone, not turned into gruesome monsters.  She was thankful though that she wasn’t out in the field hunting down the resistance.  She couldn’t kill anyone else.  Every day since she had gotten here she had hoped that someone from the militia would show up and rescue her.  But every day she had been let down.

Yesterday Marcus had shown her the process of capturing the wolves and turning them into judges.  They slowly approached the wolf with a net in hand.  They threw the net over it and the wolf was trapped.  They dragged it back to their truck and locked it in a cage.  The wolf yelped and howled.  Liz felt sorry for it.

Her partner had been very helpful.  He didn’t seem as crazy as the other cultists.  When they were out of earshot of the beacon, she decided to break the ice.

“So did you join all of this by choice, or did the will of the father decide for you?” She asked.

There was a risk in asking such a blunt question.  But Liz was a blunt person.  The look he gave her indicated that he knew what she was asking.  Was he just as crazy as everyone else or was he kidnapped like her?  The man sighed.

“The father knows who belongs here, even if those he chooses don’t know it yet.” He said.  In his eyes, Liz saw sadness.  She knew what that meant.  Marcus had been kidnapped by Eden’s Gate.  He had probably be separated from his family too.

“I’m sorry.” Liz said.

“Don’t be.”  Liz thought about how many other cultists were just like him, people who had been kidnapped and were playing along to survive.  A lot of the cultists were crazy but some of them would defect if they were given the option. 

The wolf they had locked up began to whimper, it was frustrated being locked in a cage.  Liz approached the cage and threw some meat in it.  Being mindful of where she put her hands.

“Shhhh.  It’s okay boy.  It’s alright.”  She patted his head while he was distracted with the food.  His whimpering stopped and he calmed down.

“I wouldn’t say that when we get back to base.  Jacob doesn’t want us talking to them like they’re pets.” Marcus said.

Liz felt a smirk come across her face.  “Jacob Seed can kiss my ass.” She said.

Her partner said nothing.  Liz saw the corners of his mouth form into a small smile.  It was nice to have some small form of rebellion.  Even if they were both still captives.  They both said nothing more and loaded into the truck.  On the ride back to the veteran’s center, Liz watched the sun come up. 

It was a gorgeous sunrise.  She felt at peace watching it.  When they arrived back at the veteran’s center, the cult had already started their operations for the day.  Liz and her partner parked the tuck and brought the wolf to one of the several cages outside the center.  Wolves weren’t the only things that were kept in the cages.  There were people in them too. 

Liz’s partner left to attend to other matters.  It was her job to get them started on the process of becoming judges.  All of the wolves ate and drank bliss.  It’s what turned them into the monsters that were so effective at killing.  They were fed twice a day.  When a wolf is first brought in they are given lots of meat with small amounts of bliss.  As the days go on, they are given less meat and more bliss.  The entire process took a little over a week.

With the resistance killing the judges out in the field, they had to make judges as fast as possible.  Liz was given a chart of the dates the wolves were brought in and the doses of bliss to give them.  Right now there were 17 judges being made and the one they brought in today made 18. 

One judge would be completed today and the one she brought in needed to begin the process.  She started to gather the food and water and put the doses of bliss in them.  Liz had heard a lot of bad things about the bliss and what it did to people.  She was afraid that handling it would have some side effects, but so far she hadn’t turned into a brain-dead zombie, so that was a good sign. 

Liz began to distribute the drug-infused food to the wolves.  She would place the bowls of food in a separate part of the cage and banged on the bars to get them to come over.  When the wolf was in the boxed part of the cage she pulled a lever and shut them inside.  There was another part of her job that she hated.  She had to clean out the shit that the wolves left in the cages.  The cult was okay with starving the wolves and turning them into monsters but god forbid they had to sleep next to their own crap.  She covered her mouth to try to help block the stench.  It didn’t help.

The morning burned on as she took care of the judges.  The sun had taken its place in the sky and the July sun beat down on her.  She had been given an Eden’s Gate outfit to wear when she arrived at the veteran’s center.  She was wearing black pants, boots, and another white Henley shirt.  She had also been given a long leather trench coat to wear with the cult symbol painted on the back.  She had found a black baseball cap outside the barracks.  It had probably belonged to a resistance member.  A dead resistance member.  Liz was disturbed to be wearing a dead man’s hat but it was a lot better than having the sun on her face.  She thought that another cultists would have pointed it out but they mostly ignored her.  No one paid attention to her.

She had also been given a revolver.  The gun sat at her hip but only contained one bullet.  She knew the reason.  It was a taunt by Jacob.  Give her one bullet.  She could try to kill him with it but she would get shot down herself.  She could also use it to kill herself if she wanted to.

After a few hours of feeding the judges, she was almost finished.  There was only one left and it was his last day.  Liz filled his food with bliss and another drug that would knock him out.  The wolf ate it and feel asleep.  The wolf’s fur was matted and torn.  It looked like there were chunks taken out of him.  It was crazy what the bliss did to things.  It took a natural predator and turned it into a monster.

In one of Jacob’s ‘sermons’ he had talked about the judges.  He said that wolves had a mind that was a cluttered and polluted mess.  That there were too many options and too many weaknesses.  When the wolves became judges there was no longer any flight, only fight.  And she was responsible for making them that way.

Liz opened the cage, bringing red paint with her.  Whoever was on judge duty before used spray paint to make the crooked crosses on their foreheads.  Liz took her time with a paint brush, painting the red cross that signified the wolf as a judge.  When she was finished she inspected her handiwork.  She petted to fur on the top of his head.

“There you go boy.” She said.

“For God’s sake don’t sweet talk him.  But you are good at that aren’t you?”

Liz whipped around to see Jacob.  She did her best not to let her disdain show on her face.  “What do you want?”

“Got shit that needs to be done.  You’re coming with me, Palmer.” He said.

Liz was shocked for a moment to hear him use her name.  Most of the time he called her sweetheart, honey, and his personal favorite, little lamb.  They were all equally demeaning to her.

“Why me, huh?  Don’t you have a million other soldiers that are more qualified?”

He huffed in response.  “It’s an order.  Don’t make me ask you again.” He said.

Liz got up and shut the judge cage behind her.  She followed Jacob away from the cages.  They went over to the loading dock and got in his truck.  That night when he brought her back they had found a car out on the road.  Jacob’s truck was a large 4 x 4 diesel with bright red paint and the cult symbol on the side.  There was also a machine gun mounted on the back.

“ _Does he have something that isn’t red?”_ Liz thought.    He started the truck and sped off from the Veteran’s Center. 

“In the morning and at night you’ll still be on judge duty.  But any other time you’ll be with me.” Jacob said.

Liz nodded in response.  She fidgeted with her hands.  She didn’t want to be at the mercy of Jacob again.  What exactly was he going to do with her?  She was probably the worst soldier in his army, why did he want her?  There was no telling what he was planning. 

She spent the car ride staring out the window, not saying a word.  Half the time she had wondered if she could survive jumping out of the truck.  They eventually came to a stop at an old hotel.  It wasn’t the chalet.  It was the Grand View Hotel.  This place had used to be a destination for couples and newlyweds.  Now Jacob had turned it into his own torture palace.  This was where she was brainwashed when she first got here.

Liz trailed behind Jacob like a well-trained dog.  She kept her head down.  Everyone’s attitudes had changed when Jacob was in their presence.  It was like pretending to work when your boss walked by.  Except most people didn’t fear their boss the way these people feared Jacob Seed.  She had noticed the people were staring at her as well.  Jacob must not bring visitors along with him much.  Especially ones that looked like they were weaklings.

The inside of the building had once been very beautiful.  It had wooden walls and high ceilings.  There were also stuffed creatures that were spread out in the lobby.  Liz had known this place from her childhood.  When she was little she had wanted to come here one day when she got married.  Now she was here with a psychopath who kidnapped her.  Jacob turned back to talk to her.

“Wait for me here little lamb.  Don’t try anything stupid.” He said.

Jacob walked off to attend to business.  Liz waited by the front door.  She didn’t want to wander around.  She was afraid of what she would find.  As much as she wanted to, she wasn’t going to run.  There was no point in running.  Anywhere she would run Jacob would find her and drag her back to him.  There was nothing to do other than follow his orders. 

She stood there for a while.  Her palms had started to grow sweaty.  She could hear the screams coming from upstairs.  Liz was afraid that she would hear that damn song again.  She couldn’t see red again.  Not again.  She waited and waited to hear it but it never came.  She didn’t pass out and she never saw red.  But she did see him.

“Liz?”

It was Pratt.  He was there.  Jacob had gotten to him.  Liz felt her heart drop into her stomach.

“Pratt.”

He walked over to her.  Liz looked around for any sign of Jacob but she didn’t see him.  All of the cultists in the Grand View were busy and not paying any attention to them. 

“Liz, what the hell are you doing here?  Did you join them?” He asked.

Her mouth fell open at the accusation.  He was assuming that she was batshit crazy like the rest of them.  She was pissed but she kept her voice low.

“No I didn’t _fucking_ join them.  What about you, huh?  You can’t even arrest one man.” She spat.

Pratt looked like he had been through hell.  He had cuts and bruises on his face and looked like he was dehydrated.  They could have only nabbed him two days ago and he already had been put through the ringer.

“They crashed our chopper and they got most of us.  When I saw you that night all I could think about is why you were with them. ” He said.

“Staci what has _he_ been having you do?”  The look in Pratt’s eyes indicated that he knew exactly which he Liz was referring to.

“I’ve been helping with the trials.  That damn song.  He’s been grabbing people left and right trying to get to Rook.  I heard that Rook has been fucking shit up over in the Henbane.” He said.

Rook.  Liz thought back to the young deputy in the church.  The rookie must have gotten away.  Staci inspected her face, looking for any signs of damage.

“How long have you been here Liz?” He asked.

“A month.”

Pratt’s eyes grew wide.

“A month?  Why didn’t you call me when you were on your way home?  I could have helped you.” He said.

Her mouth started to form into a snarl.  Liz was pissed.

“Oh please.  Since when have you ever given a shit about me?  Not once in the past six years.”

She was prepared to explode on him and yell at him for all the shit he had done to her.  For breaking her heart and for never taking her seriously.  Pratt didn’t appear to be the same douchy guy from her past but it didn’t matter.  To Liz, he was still an asshole.  She had been ready to cuss him out but the words never left her mouth.  She heard footsteps walking towards them.

“Well, well, well.  What do we have here?” Jacob asked.

Pratt winced back in fear.  He looked down at his feet.  Jacob pointed to him.

“Little lamb, you never told me that you knew peaches.  How do you two know each other?” He said.

Liz looked up at Jacob.  Her eyes were pleading for him to stop.  Jacob gestured between the two of them.

“Oh, I see.  Ya’ll used to fuck.” He said.

Liz let out a small shriek. She felt her cheeks grow red from embarrassment.   Jacob Seed knew exactly how to get under her skin. 

“Get back to work peaches.” He said.

His voice was deep and rough.  Pratt scurried away without another word like a dog with his tail between his legs.  The consequences would be severe if he didn’t listen.  She was alone with Jacob once again.  He led her back outside and into his truck.  He was probably going to drag her along to everything he had to do.  Liz stared out the window.  At some point Jacob had turned on the radio.  It was turned to the cult station.

‘ _Gonna build it brick by brick and stone by stone.  Till it reaches up to the sky…_ ’  She didn’t know the song but it was catchy.  The cult may be crazy but they had some damn good songs. 

They rode in uncomfortable silence once again.  There wasn’t much to say.  She had expected him to scold her on the judges this morning or talking to Pratt but he didn’t.  Jacob’s silence was sometimes more powerful than his words.  She couldn’t quite get a grip on why he hadn’t killed her yet.  It wasn’t out of sympathy.  The only thing Jacob believed in was sacrificing the weak.  And she was weak.  She was so weak.  She had been taken from a normal life and thrown into the most fucked up episode of Doomsday Preppers.

She thought back to everything she had been through since getting here.  The trials, the training, and her connection to Eli.  The realization hit her.

As Liz looked out at the trees she finally understood.  She had tried for so long to figure it out but now she knew.  She knew her purpose.  It wasn’t to survive like Jacob had told her.  She knew the reason that Jacob wouldn’t kill her no matter how much trouble she was.  The reason he saved her that night at the chalet.  He didn’t need her to fight or to be strong.  Liz wasn’t a soldier. 

Liz was, _a trophy._ That was her purpose.  She was no more than a stuffed deer head hanging on a cabin wall.  A living conquest from Jacob’s greatest hunt.  The way Jacob treated her and the way she followed him around was all a message to the resistance.  She was a taunt to Eli.  A taunt from Jacob that he had already lost.

Now anytime the Whitetail Militia saw her face, all they would see is Jacob’s pet, his little lamb.  _The weak have their purpose._   She finally understood what that meant now.

…

**_1 month before the arrival of The Deputy_ **

**_The Wolf’s Den, Whitetail Mountains_ **

Things had been slow in the Whitetail Mountains.  Eli’s militia did their best to fight off Jacob’s army but they barely put a dent in it.  They would take out supply vehicles and roadblocks but a week later the trucks were back with greater numbers.  The cult wouldn’t let up.  Something had to change.

His men were getting picked off every day and getting put in Jacob’s chair.  They either would either join the Peggies or end up dead. 

“Hey Eli!  You gotta come see this!” Wheaty yelled.

Eli sighed.  If Wheaty called him over for something stupid, he was going to lose it.  He followed Wheaty’s voice into the inventory room.  Half of the residents of the Wolf’s Den were gathered around the small analog TV that sat on the counter.

‘ _Now the lamb does not fear the wolf.  The lamb parades itself around instead of hiding from their predators._ ’

“Holy shit is that Liz?” Wheaty asked.

Jacob’s voice carried throughout the bunker but it wasn’t until someone stepped aside that he saw her.  It was Elizabeth, his niece.  She wasn’t supposed to be here.  She was supposed to be at college.  Why was she in Hope County?  Eli felt sick to his stomach.  He had gotten Liz’s parents out months ago only for her to be captured by Jacob Seed.

Liz looked more mature than the last time Eli saw her.  The last time he saw her she was just a young girl.  Now she looked terrified.  She was shaking in the chair and tears ran down her face.  The girl was scared to death and was at the mercy of the eldest Seed.

‘ _These so called Whitetails that try to threaten our way of life will have everything taken from them.  Even those that they are closest to._ ’

That was directed at him.  Jacob knew that she was related to him.  How Jacob knew that was beyond him, but he knew.  When the video ended everyone looked at him.  He was their leader.  Everyone would look to him on what to do. 

The TV began to replay the video and Eli left the room.  He couldn’t watch that again.  Eli rushed back over to his cameras.  Liz was out there somewhere.  She was probably at the Grand View.  That was where Jacob did his experiments.  Everyone had followed him out of the inventory room, waiting for what he was going to say.

“Eli?” Tammy asked.

He didn’t say anything.  He only peered at the screens waiting for them to show an answer.  But the screens showed no sign of his niece.

“Eli.  Say something.” She said.

“He’s got her.  Goddamn it.  How did he get her?”

Eli was angry and distraught.  He didn’t have much family.  He considered the Whitetails more of a family than anyone.  But he had always cared for Liz.  She was one of the bright spots in this god awful county.  He turned from the screens to face everyone.

“If she was out on the roads it’s no surprise the Peggies got her.  They’ve been snatching up people left and right.” Tammy said.

“I thought that once I got her parents out she would be safe.  I didn’t warn her because I thought she’d never come back.”

“What do you think he’ll do to her?” Wheaty asked.

Eli sighed.  There was no telling what Jacob would do to his niece.  He obviously knew they were related, which would only make things worse for her.

“I don’t know.  But Jacob’s got her in the chair.  There’s no way she’d survive his trials.  She’s not cut out for shit like that.  He’s probably going to kill her.”

“Yeah but Eli think about it.  Most of the time he captures men since he’s trying to build his army.  He doesn’t ever capture pretty little girls like her.  And since she’s related to you she might get something a whole lot worse than that chair.  Jacob’s one twisted fuck, who knows what he’ll do.” Tammy said.

Eli knew what she was implying.  In war women received a much different punishment than men.  The cult wasn’t known to do things like that, but Eden’s Gate had always surprised him. 

“We’ve got to get her out of there.”

“Yeah but Eli if she’s in the Grand View there’s no way to get her back.  That place is a goddamn fortress.” Wheaty said.

“We don’t abandon our own people.  Especially not to Jacob Seed.”

There had to some way to get her out or at least find out exactly where she was.  Eli had men all over the mountains, but none of them were capable of rescuing his niece.  If he sent out a search party to the Grand View, they would all be killed or captured.  But there was one person who was able to sneak in anywhere undetected.  The only problem was getting her to help.  Eli grabbed his radio and set it to the correct frequency.

“Jess.  Jess Black.  I need to talk to you, over.”

Eli was met with static.  He had tried for many years to get Jess to join his militia but the archer worked alone.  With the right incentive though she would help him.

“Jess.  Come on just hear me out.”

She was the only one who could help him.  Jess was a hell of a soldier.  She might not be able to get Liz away from the Peggies but she could track silently.  

“What do you want Eli?” Jess asked.

She was probably hunting down one of Jacob’s zealots right now, The Cook.  She had been trying to get revenge against the cook since she was young.  Jess wouldn’t stop until every single Peggie was dead for what they did to her family.

“Look I know you’re out there fighting the good fight but The Whitetails could use your help.  I could use your help.”

“I’m hot on the cooks trail right now Eli.  If you want me to do something for you, make it worth my while.” She said.

If there was one thing Jess needed more than Peggies to kill it was the ammo to kill them.

“Whitetails got resources you could use.  Help me out and anything you want is yours.”

She didn’t respond right away, probably considering her options.  Jess didn’t work well with others but she did care, at least a little bit.  If Eli couldn’t convince her he could probably get Dutch to talk to the girl.  Dutch was always right about things.  He was right about the Seed family being trouble.  He had known all of this was going to happen but no one believed him.

“Sure.  I’ll help you Eli.  You got any Peggies for me to kill?” She asked.

“Not exactly.  I need you to go scope out the Grand View Hotel.  Jacob is holding my niece there…”

Eli couldn’t lose the only blood relative he had left.  Liz was there when his son fell through the ice.  His family had been broken that day.  His wife had blamed him for the death of their son.  Eli blamed himself as well. 

“I saw that broadcast.  Shit, that was your niece.  I’m sorry Eli.  It’s always hard when someone you care about gets nabbed by those fucking Peggies.” She said.

“Well she’s not gone yet.  Please head up there Jess and see what you can find out.  I just need you to track and report.  We don’t need you getting caught too.”

“I’m on it.” She said.

Eli had faith in Jess.  He was going to get his niece back and kill Jacob for all the pain he had caused the people of Hope County.

…

**_Present Day_ **

**_The Wolf’s Den, Whitetail Mountains_ **

“She’s a fucking Peggie!” Jess yelled.

The dark haired archer stormed down the steps of The Wolf’s Den.  She had only been to the bunker a few times to gather supplies and then she left.  She didn’t talk much and didn’t make friends.  Her only goal was killing Peggies and to uphold her deal with Eli.  He turned away from the camera monitors to address the archer.

“I found her.  Your niece is a fucking Peggie Eli.” She said.

They hadn’t known where Liz was for the past few weeks.  After she had been taken from the Grand View they had lost her.  Jess had been on the war path to find The Cook but still kept her ear to the ground looking for Liz.  Eli had assured her that the search for his niece would be worth it.

“She’s alive then?  What do you mean she’s a Peggie?”

“I mean she’s fully indoctrinated into Jacob’s bullshit.” She said.

Jess walked over to the screens that mapped out the mountains.  Eli had cameras everywhere and had almost every location on watch 24/7.  Jess pointed to the screen showing the St. Francis Veteran’s Center.

“The past few days she’s been here.  She is almost _always_ with Jacob.  She follows him around all over the mountains like a fucking dog.  And when she’s not with him she’s making him those judge wolfs.” She said.

Eli couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  He was thrilled that his niece was still alive but she couldn’t have joined them willingly.  The cult had a way of breaking people.  Sometimes it wasn’t their fault that they caved. 

“Now wait a minute Jess we don’t know what they did to her.  She could be brainwashed with bliss for all we know.”

Jess rolled her eyes.

“I’m telling you that your niece is gone Eli.  She’s a fucking lost cause.  Jacob’s got her wrapped around his little finger.  I’m done tracking for you.  But I can’t promise you that if I see her with him that I won’t blow both of them to hell.” She said.

That was the reason she was always with him.  Eli knew why now.  She was his protection and his human shield.  Eli wouldn’t let any of The Whitetails hurt Liz even if they could kill Jacob in the process.

“Jess no.  If the resistance went around killing their own we’d be no better than the Peggies.”

“She’s not one of us Eli.  Your niece is gone.  She’s a Peggie now.  I’ve got better things to do.” She said.

Jess left the bunker without another word.  That was the last time that Eli had heard from Jess.  She had went back to her quest to kill The Cook.  Eli had heard that she had been captured by the cult and was being held at the lumber mill.  The resistance was being captured left and right.  Eli had heard about a deputy that was helping liberate the Henbane River.  If the deputy came up into the Whitetails he would be able to make a difference.  He could be the one to put Jacob Seed in the ground once and for all.


	6. Family Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fasten your seat belts kiddos, this is a LONG chapter.

Being the personal pet of Jacob Seed was not a fun role to have.  The man was not a joy to be around.  He barely talked, he was always scowling, and his presence terrified her.  When Liz wasn’t helping make the judges she was with him.  He had wanted to see her in his office.  The veteran’s center was a huge place.  It had hundreds of rooms all with their own purpose that was a mystery to Liz. 

Jacob’s office was on the third floor.  The entire floor was his alone.  The only people that were allowed to be up there were on his direct orders.  There was no telling what was hidden in the rooms.  Liz didn’t want to find out.  She grew more nervous as she reached the door to Jacob’s office.  She took a deep breath, straightened her jacket, and knocked on the door. 

“Come in.”                        

Liz slowly creaked open the door and stepped inside.  Jacob’s office was smaller than she imagined.  But it was still suiting for the redheaded soldier.  It could only be described as a war room.  There were security monitors and radios spread about.  The screens mapped out the whole veteran’s center.  Everyone’s movements were constantly watched.  He saw everything that happened.  There was also a huge balcony that overlooked the entire grounds.  There was no view beyond the compound.  The entire building was encased in trees that blocked it from the outside world. 

Jacob was leaning over the long desk in the center of the office.  His hair was slightly disheveled and he wasn’t wearing his army jacket.  His gray t-shirt clung to his muscular form.  Scars and burn marks covered the upper part of his arms as well.  Despite the scars he was still very handsome.  In the Book of Joseph his brother had described him as the type of man you would have put on a military recruitment poster.  Liz found herself staring too long when he beckoned her over.

“Sit.” He said.

Liz sat down in the office chair without a word.  On the desk there was a map of the Whitetail Mountains.  The map was covered in markings of the failed attempts to find the resistance.  Jacob had searched everywhere but he still hadn’t found where the Whitetail Militia were held up in.

“Tell me everything you know about Eli.”

Liz was torn.  While she didn’t know where the resistance was held up, but she didn’t want to betray her Uncle.  He was some of the only family she had left.  Any information she gave Jacob would only lead him further down the war path.  If she refused, Jacob would probably bring out the damn music box. 

There were too many options laid out before her and she had too many weaknesses.  She had been thinking like a lamb and if she wanted to survive she needed to think like a judge.  She sighed and surveyed the map in front of her.  She couldn’t tell him much but telling him something would save her ass.

“I haven’t been here in three years, so a lot has changed.  When I was young he used to live here with his wife and son.”

Liz pointed to a spot on the map a few miles south from the F.A.N.G. Center.  His house there had been nice.  It was your typical homey cabin in the woods.  Not exactly the place to hide your army.

“Where’s the wife?” He asked.

Her aunt had been mostly a mystery to Liz.  Eli had married her when he was twenty and she didn’t stick around long.  Liz was ten when he had gotten married.  She wasn’t much older when she left.  Her aunt was always very kind until the day her son died. 

“She left.”

“And the son?”

Liz could feel the bile building up in her throat at the thought.  She had never talked about her younger cousin.  It had been six years since he had died.  It was part of the reason she had left Hope County to begin with.  Liz was 15 when it happened.  The day her little cousin had died.  That was the worst day of her life.  She had never told anyone the truth about what happened that day.  She never wanted to talk about it.  Liz cleared her throat.  That wasn’t the type of thing she was going to confess to Jacob Seed.

“Dead.”  His eyebrow quirked in curiosity but he didn’t comment.  Liz’s eyes skimmed the 2-D Mountains laid out before her. 

“After she left he lived in his camper and moved around.  He worked in construction building bunkers for somebody.”  Somebody.  Eli didn’t build bunkers for just anyone.  Just for those who had the money.  She turned back to look at Jacob.

“He was building bunkers for you.  Wasn’t he?” She asked.

 Jacob simply smirked.  It was rare to see Jacob smile.  He only smiled out of insult or to satisfy his sick sense of humor.  It infuriated Liz.

“Goddamn you Seeds are everywhere aren’t you?”

“Anywhere and everywhere, sweetheart.  What else do you know?” He asked.

What else did Liz know?  In high school she wasn’t exactly keeping tabs on things.  She never paid attention to details like that.  Now she tracked everything.  She had been trying to make mental notes of supply routes and prisoner vans but sometimes it was just too much.  If she never got back to the resistance the information wouldn’t be useful anyways.

“That’s pretty much it.  He never told me where he hid his prepper stashes.  I don’t think I know…”

Prepper stashes.  There had been a place Eli had taken to her once.  He had only went to drop something off and Liz had waited in the car.  But she remembered that place.  It had a steel door and an electronic lock.  She remembered it because at the time she had thought that it was an awfully nice place for someone who lived in a camper.  There could be an entire bunker under that cabin.

She grabbed a marker off the table.  The place she was thinking of was up north.  She remembered looking down below and seeing a lake.  Liz searched the map until she found her destination.  She circled the spot on the map.

“Here.  Eli had like a stash or something in a cabin.  I’ve only been there once but I think I could lead you back there.”

Liz thought about the consequences of what she had just done.  She may have just given up the location of the Whitetail Militia.  If her uncle got killed because of this she would never forgive herself. 

Jacob leaned over her shoulder to look at the map.  He was always searching and observing.  Liz was afraid that he would think that she was lying.  She wasn’t though.  There was no telling what was in that cabin.  There could be nothing or the whole resistance could be there. 

“Let’s go check it out.” He said.

He rolled up the map for safe keeping.  Liz stayed seated in the chair as he went to gather his things.  He put on his army jacket and checked the ammunition in his rifle and pistol.  He returned to Liz with a sawed off shotgun in his hands.  It had gold engravings on it.  It was the sin eater.  It was gorgeous weapon.  It looked like it had been hand carved with care.  Her mouth was still agape as she took it from him.  She was shocked that he was giving her a gun, let alone one she excelled with.  He trusted her enough to give her a real weapon. 

The shotgun just felt right in her hands.  She hadn’t shot a gun since she had left the chalet.  She was itching to get back out on a range.  When Liz was holding a gun the options felt a lot simpler.  Even though that wasn’t the case.  Every option was complicated now.

“There’s ammunition over there.  Take what you need.” He said.

On the other side of the office there were stacks of ammo piled up.  Liz filed her revolver with ammo.  She was relieved to have a six shooter that actually now had six shots.  She loaded her shotgun as well and took a few rounds extra in her jacket.  She walked back over to where Jacob was standing.

“I’m ready.”

“Let’s go.” He said.

He led her out the door of his office and through the winding hallways of the veteran’s center.  Cultists were running about like always, busy trying to impress their herald.  Liz had noticed the past few days people had been staring at her.  People would murmur as she walked by.  What did people think of her?  Did they think she was his second in command, because she definitely wasn’t.  She was just his pet.  Jacob intimidated people and they assumed that anyone with him was intimidating as well.

They loaded up in his truck and took off from the veteran’s center.  It was a beautiful day out.  The sun was high in the sky and beat down on the truck.  Even with the A/C on full blast it was scorching.  Liz wiped sweat from her brow.  The leather trench coat she wore wasn’t helping. 

She opened the map up and gathered her bearings.  She hadn’t used a paper map to navigate in a long time.  She missed using google maps.  It was so much easier typing in the address and her phone telling her where to go, than trying to figure out a paper map.  Liz did her best to navigate through the mountains and send him in the right direction.  Jacob merely responded to her directions with grunts and nods.

It took about half an hour to get there.  Jacob slowed the truck when they pulled up to a small cabin.  It had a metal door with an electric lock.  This was the place.  It was higher up in altitude than Liz remembered.  From the cliff she could see the entire Whitetail State Park.  The mountains were beautiful and stretched on for miles.  It was a magnificent sight.  She could even see the tall statue of The Father in the distance.

“You sure this is the place?” Jacob asked.

“Yeah.  This is it.”

They walked up to the door and inspected it closer.  The cabin was small.  Eli had taken her there one day after a fishing trip.  He said he had to drop something off for a friend.  He had typed in a code to get in the door.  The code had to be something of meaning.  Most likely a date.  She typed in Eli’s birthday, _1-1-1-9._ The locked buzzed and flashed a red light.  It didn’t work.  She typed in her birthday next, _0-7-1-0_.  Still nothing.  It had to be a more important date than that.  It would have been his son’s birthday. 

Liz couldn’t remember when her cousin’s birthday was.  She had suppressed all memory of him.  The only thing she could remember about him was the day that he had died.  She would never forget that day.  She typed the date into the keypad and the light flashed red again.

“I don’t know the code.  You got any ideas on how to get this open?” 

Jacob surveyed the door looking at the lock and the hinges.  “I got some C4 in the truck.” He said.  Jacob was halfway to the truck when a loud growl came out of the woods.  Something was out there.  He had pointed to her.

“Go see what that was.” He said.

Liz sighed.  He always sent her to take care of shit.  She had only seen him get his hands dirty a few times.  He had a whole army at his disposal to do his work for him.  He just had to sit back and bark out the orders.  The edge of the woods began a few feet away from the cabin.  Even though it was midafternoon, the forest was dark.  She looked around for the source of the sound but saw nothing.  She grew more paranoid as she walked closer to the tree line.  She took her shotgun off her back and cocked the hammer back.  If anything tried to get the jump on her, she would be ready.

Another sound came out of the woods, this time it was louder.  Liz raised her weapon in the direction of the noise.  She could see the outline of something.  It was large and slowly inching closer to her.  When the nose of the creature came into the light, Liz realized what it was.  It was a grizzly bear.

“Uh Jacob?”  Liz felt herself start to panic.  She slowly backed away from the trees.  If she didn’t make any sudden movement, the bear might leave her alone.

“Jacob?!”  Still no response.  He either didn’t hear her or was ignoring her. 

The bear grew closer to the tree line.  It roared at her and charged.  Liz was frozen in shock.  She couldn’t think.  Her mind was scrambled in a panic.  She raised her gun and fired.  The shotgun pellets sprayed out but missed their target.  The bear charged and knocked her to the ground. 

It roared in her face.  Liz could feel the bear’s breath on her face and its saliva dripping down.  She was so close that she could count the teeth in its mouth.  Teeth that would sink into her neck if she didn’t do something.  Adrenaline broke her from her trance.  Her shotgun was turned sideways.  She tried to turn it around but the bear was crushing her.  It came down to bite her and she jammed the gun sideways into its teeth.

Her efforts stopped the bear from ripping her throat out.  It roared out in frustration.  She used both her arms to try to push the bear back.  Its paws began to claw at her.  The bear’s back paw found its way on top of her legs.  She felt sharp daggers piercing her skin.  Liz screamed.  If Jacob hadn’t heard her before, he definitely heard her now.  She started to see spots.  Her breathing became shallow and her arms grew tired.  The bear continued to bite down on the shotgun.  Its paw was buried in her leg keeping her pinned there.

“Palmer?”  She turned her head to see Jacob running towards her.  Liz heard gunshots going off.  Jacob unloaded his sidearm into the bear but the bullets didn’t kill it.  It only pissed the bear off.  It turned to attack Jacob but the bear still had its toes buried in her thigh.  She lost her grip on the shotgun and it went tumbling off in the other direction. 

She could only see Jacob out of the corner of her eye.  She could hear his grunts as he broke free from the creature’s grasp.  Liz looked up at the bear’s neck to see Jacob’s red handled knife sticking out of it.  He had stabbed it but couldn’t get close enough to finish the job.  Liz pushed herself up from the ground and reached out for the knife.  The bear became agitated by her grip on its fur and knocked her to the ground again.  Her head smacked against the ground.  It throbbed from the contact on the ground and her vision had grown spotty.

Liz heard Jacob whistle.  “Come here you piece of shit.”  The bear turned its attention towards the noise.  He was leading the bear away from her.  She saw her window of opportunity and took it.  She gripped her hands into the bear’s fur and reached around its neck to grab the knife.  It felt warm and smooth in her hands.  Her grip tightened around it and Liz jabbed it further into its neck.  A sickly sweet sound came from the knife dragging across the bear’s neck. 

The bear let out one more straggled sound before it met its end.  Blood spewed from its neck and coated Liz’s face.  Some of it had found its way down her throat.  It was warm and made it hard to breathe.  The bear’s body had become limp and began to crush her under its weight.

“Good work.” Jacob said.  There he went again.  Just like in the trials, always praising.  He only praised her for the destruction cause at her hand. 

“Would you just get this thing off of me?”  Jacob walked over and helped Liz roll the bear off of her.  She let out a small shriek when the bear’s paw dislodged from her thigh.  It felt like it was on fire.  With the bear off of her, she could finally breathe and began to cough up the blood that was in her throat.

“You alright?” He asked.

“Yeah I’m okay.”  Liz tried to stand but buckled over from the pain in her leg.  “Nope.  Nope.  It hurts like a bitch.”

She was covered in blood.  At this point she couldn’t tell what was hers and what had come from the bear.  Her insides felt crushed.  Her body was weak.  Jacob helped her stand and threw her arm over his shoulder.  He helped her walk over to the truck and sat her down on the tailgate.  He got a first aid kit and a bottle of liquor out of the truck.  He didn’t ask permission before using his knife to cut a slit in her pants above her thigh.  The knife was still dripping with the bear’s blood.  He hadn’t even bothered to wipe it off.

There were three claw marks that went across her thigh.  Each laceration was about three inches long and a half an inch deep.  They oozed out a mixture of dirt and dark red blood.  If they weren’t treated, they would become infected. 

“This is going to hurt.” Jacob said.

“Wait, wha…”  Liz cried out when Jacob poured the bottle of liquor over her leg.  The alcohol sizzled on her skin as it sterilized the wound.  Her leg involuntarily kicked and Jacob grabbed it to hold her down.  Her leg was throbbing.  Liz’s hands had found their way onto his shoulders and fisted into his army jacket.

“Shhh, easy girl.”  He was cooing her like she was a wounded animal.  His touch had relaxed her and the tension in her legs released.  She did her best to calm down.

“That’s it.” He said.

Jacob’s hands were covered in callouses but his touch was as light as a feather.  Liz squirmed against him as he stitched up her leg. The stiches weren’t pretty but they would prevent her from bleeding out.  It took him a few minutes for him to stich her up.  Her breathing was shallow the whole time.  She didn’t like needles, epically ones that were in her leg.  She looked up at the sky instead of her leg.  Her hands had stayed on Jacob’s shoulders the entire time.  Her grip was hard enough that he might have bruises the next day.  He didn’t comment on it though.

The pain from her leg had distracted her from how close they were.  Jacob had her leg pinned down between his.  He was hunched over, focused on the stiches.  Liz could run her hands through his hair if she wanted to.  She hadn’t thought much about what he had said in the cabin that night.  What he said had been in insult to shut her up.  But she couldn’t help but wonder about his offer. 

He finished the last stich and tied the end off.  There were at least ten individual stiches in her leg.  All three of the cuts would probably leave scars.  She didn’t care though, it was better than dying.  Jacob pulled out the bottle of liquor again.

“One more time.  You ready?” He asked.

Liz nodded her head.  He poured the liquid on her wound again.  It hurt worse this time when she knew it was coming.  She punched Jacob in the shoulder.  He looked up at her with a scowl on his face.

“Hey, I warned you that time.” He said.

“It still hurt like a bitch!”

He huffed in annoyance.  Liz really needed to stop talking back to him when all he did was help her.  “Would you have rather bled out instead?”  He had a point.  He could have let her just get eaten by the bear.  He could have easily let her die but he chose to save her.

“No…  I’m sorry.”  She let her head hang.  It had been a long day.  Almost getting killed by a bear took a lot out of her. 

He put the first aid kit back in the truck and returned with his canteen and a rag.  He wet the rag and gently cupped her face.  Liz had recoiled from his touch but his hand held her in place. It was her first instinct to be afraid of him, even though he had done a lot for her.  He used the rag to wipe most of the blood off of her face.  The rag could only do so much.  Streaks of red still covered her face.  She would need a long hot shower to get all of the grime and blood off of her.

“You need to learn to be more grateful, little lamb.” He said.

Liz nodded.  She was too tired to argue with him.  Jacob’s actions continually confused the hell out of her.  He was using her, and wouldn’t let her forget it.  She was one of his soldiers but sometimes he would be _so_ gentle with her.  It was a gentleness that he didn’t show anyone else. 

Jacob threw the rag in the back of the truck and handed her his canteen.  “Drink.”

She took it from him and took a sip from it.  She coughed it up and most of the remaining blood came out of her throat.  Some of it had gotten on Jacob’s boots.  She apparently had started a trend today to get blood all over Jacob.  Liz took more small sips from the canteen and her throat had started to feel better.  She currently didn’t feel like she was dying so that was a good sign.  She handed the canteen back to Jacob. 

It had been an eventful day and they still hadn’t found out what was locked in the cabin.  Jacob helped her stand up again.  It hurt a little to put weight on her leg but she could walk alright.  He dug up some remote explosives out of the truck and went over to inspect the door.  Jacob showed her how to hook up the explosives.  He showed her how to put them on, wiring them up, and connecting them to the detonator. They would soon find out what was behind the door.

They went to the side of the cabin to avoid the blast.  Jacob held the detonator out to her.  “Want to do the honors?”  His eyebrow quirked in curiosity and a smirk tugged at his lips.  Liz was slightly shocked that he was offering her the detonator.  Did she want to possibly hurt the Whitetail Militia?  No.  But did she want to blow something up?

She snatched the detonator from his hands.  “Hell yeah.”  She counted to three and pressed the button.  The metal door flew off the hinges with a large boom.  Bits of the door spread out across the front lawn in a ball of flames.  Liz had a big smile on her face.  She had to admit, seeing that door explode into a million pieces was pretty awesome.  Liz and Jacob rounded the corner of the building to see what was inside the cabin. 

There were crates stacked to the ceiling, all filled with supplies.  There were gun racks mounted on the wall filled with AR-15’s and shotguns.  The crates were filled with food, water, ammo, and explosives.  A Whitetail Militia flag hung on the wall.  The supplies in here alone could probably keep their militia going for months. 

Jacob’s face had lit up like a Christmas tree.  She had just helped him hit the jackpot.  This find would help him cripple the resistance.  He had went over to inspect a table in the back of the cabin.  The papers on it contained the locations of other militia stashes as well as an encrypted code.  Liz read it over his shoulder.  She couldn’t tell what it was but she knew that if it was decrypted it would be the location of Eli’s bunker.  It had to be.  

“Nice work little lamb.” He said. 

She felt a smirk creep across her face.  His praises had such an effect on her.  Even though he had only praised her for things that hurt others.  Despite her desire to impress Jacob, she felt conflicted.  These guns and supplies would have helped the resistance and her uncle.  Now they would go to help Eden’s Gate.

“Start loading this stuff up in the truck.” He said.

She nodded and started gabbing crates.  Her injured leg had slightly slowed her down.  Jacob had gotten out his radio to give coordinates to his men about the rest of the stashes.  One of the stashes was Cooper cabin.  That was where he had chased her down to that night when Joseph got arrested. 

Barely half of the crates fit into the bed of the truck.  She made sure to fit in all of the guns.  They were the most important.  Jacob had finished his radio call and helped her load up the truck.  Her thigh was still throbbing from the cuts on her leg.  She really needed a long nap.

“One more thing we gotta get.” Jacob said.  Liz gave him a puzzled look.  He walked over to the dead bear.  She scoffed.

“Why do you want to bring that thing with us?  It almost ripped my throat out”

“It’ll make a nice rug.  Help me.” He said.  He gestured for her to come over.  Liz shook her head.  She picked up her discarded baseball cap and shotgun.  She had forgotten that she lost them in the bear fight.  She slung the shotgun over her back and went to help Jacob.  The bear was heavier than she had thought.  No wonder her insides felt crushed. 

Her breathing was labored as they carried the grizzly back to the truck.  Jacob did most of the heavy lifting.  Or all of the heavy lifting.  Liz did her best to help but with her injured leg and small frame she couldn’t help out much.  They threw it in the back of the truck and closed the tailgate. 

It was early in the evening by the time they left the cabin.  The sky gave off a warm orange glow.  She hadn’t seen a sunset in a while.  Or maybe she just hadn’t paid attention to them.  She was always cooped up somewhere, serving the cult.  For once she had finally felt at peace.  It had everything to do with Jacob.  He had stuck his neck out for her again and she had been an ungrateful little shit.

Liz still didn’t know what to think of him.  At times she had been frightened of him.  Even this morning she was afraid to go up into his office to speak to him.  And other times Jacob just made her feel safe.  She felt protected in his presence.  The ride in the truck with him had become less stressful.

“You did good out there today Palmer.” Jacob said.  His voice had broken her from her trance.  She had been staring out the window of the truck. 

“Uhh… thanks.”  She didn’t know what to say.  Most of the time Jacob didn’t make any small talk.

“Don’t feel bad about Eli.”  Her head had perked up at his words.   She started at him, searching his face for answers.  ‘ _How the hell does he know that?_ ’ She thought.

His grip had tightened on the steering wheel.  “It’s all over your face.  You can’t hide that shit.  Eli and his Whitetails are not heroes, they’re weak and they’re cowards.  You’re not like them.  You know your purpose, don’t forget it.”

Her purpose.  It was to do whatever Jacob told her to do.  She only had a purpose as long as Eli was alive.  And today she had had served that purpose well. 

“What’s your purpose?” She asked.  As soon as the words left her mouth she wished she could take them back.  It would have been a simple question to anyone else.  To Jacob though, she was asking him his reason for existing. 

“To die for Joseph.  I’d give my life for him.  I am his sacrifice, simple as that.” He said.  Liz was shocked by how nonchalantly he spoke.  Almost as if he didn’t care about dying.  She didn’t press the subject though.  She didn’t want to make their conversations uncomfortable again. 

Liz was terrified of dying.  She thought about it a lot ever since she had almost went over the edge of that cliff.  She had almost died today.  Her body had frozen at the sight of that bear.  She just stood there gawking in fear, waiting for the grizzly the claw her guts out.  She could still picture the bear’s teeth in her face.  Jacob had praised her for her work today, but Liz was pissed at herself.  She couldn’t be weak anymore.  Next time she was put in a situation like that again she had to do better. 

There were so many emotions running through her.  She was pissed that she had almost died, she was disappointed in herself that she hurt Eli, and she was happy that she had impressed Jacob.  Liz didn’t know what to do anymore.  They didn’t teach her ‘ _How to survive being in a cult_ ’ in college.  None of her options were simple.

The sun had begun to sink in the sky.  Sounds from Eden’s Gate music filled the truck.

‘ _Well the devil’s friends hide in the dark.  They’ve laid their plans and they’ll make their mark.  We pity the souls that they have claimed.  They won’t be saved when they’re up in flames.’_

This song was about Jacob.  She had heard it a lot over the past few weeks.  Liz had most of the lyrics memorized to all the cult songs.  The cult played the songs all day long on the radio and at the veteran’s center.  It was really hard not to pick up on the words.  She wondered what Jacob thought of this song.  If he either loved it or thought it was stupid.  The whole cult praised Jacob, but no one really knew him.  Liz didn’t know him either but she was trying.  If she was going to be stuck with him she wanted to at least not be a stranger.  Jacob was a hard man to read and an even harder man to get to know.

Whatever small talk they had going seemed to have fizzled out.  They fell into a silence that was less uncomfortable that it had been in the past.  The truck continued to wind through the mountain roads as it gradually got darker.  The radio signal had become fuzzy and turned into static.  Jacob turned it off.  Someone out there was interrupting the cult signals.  To do that they would have had to take out the communication towers.  It could have been her Uncle and the Whitetails, or it could have been the deputy.

Liz didn’t know what compelled her to open her mouth, but she did.  Despite her better judgement, she had started singing.

“Oooo.  See the non-believers by the path.  Non-believers by the path.  Non-believers by the path.”

She sung the first verse slowly.  Her voice was soft.  It wasn’t as angelic as the Hope County Choir, but still nice.

“Jacob’s gonna come… and set… those sinners… free.”  She quickly glanced over to Jacob to gauge his reaction but got nothing.  Realizing her mistake, she turned back to stare out the window again.

“Did I tell you to stop singing?” 

She turned to see that Jacob had the smallest smirk on his face.  Liz bit her lip out of excitement and continued to sing.  She didn’t sing much.  Only in the shower sometimes.  The sound of her voice had surprised her.  She had half expected her voice to crack.  She sang through _Set Those Sinners Free_.

“Oh Brother Jacob, hear my prayer…”  She drew out the verse, knowing that he would probably enjoy it.  She didn’t get to finish the song though.  Static had started to come from Jacob’s hand radio and a voice followed after it.  Liz quickly shut her mouth and bit her tongue, cutting the song short.

“Jacob.  Jacob, you there?”

Liz didn’t recognize the voice coming over the radio.  It was masculine but not very deep.  It could have easily been just a random cultists but his men usually didn’t directly contact him on that radio unless there was an emergency.

“Yeah I’m here John.  What do you need?” Jacob said.

John.  John Seed.  He was Jacob’s youngest brother.  He had been at the church that night when Joseph got arrested.  Liz distinctly remembered his dark trench coat and slicked back hair.  She had heard some things about him.  He was all about marking people with their sins and then taking it from them.  Some of the cultists had said that it was a beautiful thing.  Getting her skin cut off wasn’t her definition of a ‘good time’.

“The family is gathering to discuss some things.  You need to come to the ranch.”

Jacob sighed.  “I’m hauling cargo right now.  Can’t this wait till tomorrow?”

“He’s already here.  I suggest you hurry.”  The radio signal cut off after that.  John had been referring to Joseph.  There had been fear in his voice.  Liz wondered why he would fear his brother.  Joseph always talked about how he loved his family and his children.  Maybe that bond between family wasn’t as close as she thought.

Liz watched as the agitation grew across Jacob’s face.  He didn’t look interested in seeing his siblings right now.  She kept her mouth shut though.  She should always keep her mouth shut.  Running her big mouth had always gotten her into to trouble.  This wasn’t the time to be causing trouble.

Jacob kept driving through the mountains.  The road they were on wasn’t taking them back to the veteran’s center.  They were going somewhere else.  The truck eventually came to a stop on an airstrip a bit north of the F.A.N.G. Center.  The side of the hangar read ‘ _Lansdowne Airstrip’_.  Jacob climbed out of the truck and went to unlock the door.  Inside the hangar were a few couches, a TV, and a desk.  In the center though, sat a blood red plane.  The plane was gorgeous and armed to the teeth.  On the underside of the wings there were mounted machine guns, bombs, and rockets.  The back seat of the plane was a gunner spot.

Liz was awestruck by the plane.  She’d never seen a plane like this up close.  She remembered seeing Nick Rye’s yellow plane when her family would go to his barbeques.  That was about it.  This plane though was much prettier than Rye’s yellow abomination.  She couldn’t help herself when she walked over to it.  She ran her hand across the white Eden’s Gate symbol on the side.

Jacob let out a low whistle.  “You like that, huh?” He asked.

Liz nodded.  “Oh yeah. What’s its name?”

“It’s called the Pack Hunter.” He said.  Liz couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. 

“Subtle.”  She gave him a sarcastic grin.  There was nothing subtle about Jacob.  “You ever flown before?” He asked.

“Nothing like this.”  Jacob guided her into the gunner position of the plane.  There was no seat in the back, she had to stand.  He instructed her on how to put the straps on so she wouldn’t fall out.  He also showed her how to turn on the headset so she could talk to him over the noise.  Liz’s hands had went straight to the .50 cal mounted on the back.  Jacob had smacked her hands away.

“You’re not touching that sweetheart.  I don’t need you blowing off the tail of my plane.” He said.  She gave him an annoyed look but didn’t object.  He was right.  Liz wasn’t always the best shot and when she got excited she tended to miss her target.  She got herself situated in the back of the plane and tucked her hat into her jacket. 

Jacob press the button to open the hangar door and hopped into the cockpit of the plane.  The glass above him clicked shut and the propeller in front started to spin.  Her back was to him but she could feel the plane start to move.  It turned left when it came out of the hangar and sped down the runway.  The plane continued to pick up speed until the tires left the ground. 

Liz had braced herself for the takeoff, but it was smooth.  When she looked out she couldn’t believe it, she was flying.  The cool evening air glided across the plane.  Over in the distance she could see the sun setting.  It made the sky given off an orange glow.  It was like nothing Liz had ever seen before.

“You okay back there?” Jacob asked.  His voice was partly static, but she heard him fine through the headset.  Despite the loud roaring of the propeller.

“Yeah I’m good.  It so gorgeous up here.  It’s absolutely amazing.”  There was excitement in her voice.  She could see the entire Whitetail State Park from up in the sky.  The mountains seemed to stretch on forever.  They rose and fell, and were all bathed in the same evening light.  Liz could even see the tall statue of Joseph out over in the Henbane River.  The statue just felt wrong in the landscape.  It was something ugly in an otherwise beautiful place.

The setting sun was glistening on the red plane.  It almost made it look like as if it was on fire.  It was suiting for the amount of firepower that was on this plane.  Jacob could easily take out any resistance convoy or stronghold and turn it to rubble.  It was thrilling being up in the sky.  Liz wondered what it would be like to fly a plane herself.  The probably wouldn’t be the best idea though.  She would end up crashing any plane she flew. 

“It’s really something ain’t it?” He said. 

The plane continued to soar in altitude as they flew farther away from the mountains.  They were headed to Holland Valley.  It was John’s region.  It was also where she had lived.  She hadn’t been back to her home in the Silver Lake Trailer Park since that first day back.  Growing up she had always been ashamed of her small home but now she would give anything to go back.  She missed her family a lot.  Liz hadn’t talked to them in over half a year.  She wondered if they were even still alive.  As they flew over the trailer park she could see her small mobile home and longed for her old life.

They were definitely in the valley now.  She could see the large apple that loomed over Rae Rae’s Pumpkin Farm.  At the Veteran’s Center she had heard some chatter that Fall’s End had been taken over by John Seed.  They probably had most of the people there kidnapped too.  She hadn’t heard anything about the people there fighting back.

“You might want to hold on to something.”  Jacob’s voice broke her from her thoughts.  ‘ _Hold on to what?_ ’ She thought.

The plane dipped down into a nose dive.  It was headed straight for the ground.  Liz was strapped into the plane but she felt like she was falling.  Her hands gripped he bars around her.  “Holy shit!” She cried.  The plane plummeted until it was about twenty feet from the ground.  It began to level out and ascend in altitude.  Liz’s breath slowly came back to her.

“What the hell was that?! You lose your grip on the controls or something?”

She got no response from Jacob other than laughter.  He had dove the plane on purpose.  “You dumbass!”

“What you didn’t enjoy that?” He said.  Liz could picture the big grin that would have been on his face.

“No!  Don’t do that again!”

“Do what again?  You mean this?” He asked sarcastically.  The nose of the plane dipped down again. 

“Jacob!”  Liz gritted her teeth bracing herself for the decline.  It was like being on a roller coaster without being connected to a track.  Liz had to admit it was kind of thrilling.  The wind rushed across her face and the change in altitude made her feel like she was floating.  The plane rushed towards the ground and leveled out once again.

“You’re an asshole!”  Liz had tried to be serious but had laughed when she said it.  It had been fun.

“I used to get in trouble for doing shit like that in basic.  Now that I got my own plane though, I can do what I want.” He said.

“You, getting in to trouble?  Never would have thought.” There was a big grin on her face.  He didn’t comment on her joke.  He didn’t dip the plane anymore though.  They flew right by the giant ‘yes’ sign that was in the valley.  From where she was at Liz could have shot it down if she wanted to.  That wouldn’t end well though.  Jacob might have found it funny, but John surely wouldn’t have.  She decided to leave it for someone else to blow up.

Liz watched as the sun finally dipped below the horizon.  It gave off a few silvers more of orange before it faded away into the night sky.  The street lights of Fall’s End twinkled in the distance.  When they passed over the infamous crop circle of Holland Valley, Jacob had started to slow the plane down.  It continued to descend until it touched the ground.  The dirt runway slowed the tires of the plane until it was gently rolling along.  He had pulled the plane up to a hangar and shut it off.

The ranch was huge.  It was a wooden mansion, fit for a cult leader.  There were balconies and beautifully detailed railings.  Joseph and his brothers must have spent a fortune getting it built.  In the hangar she could see the top of Nick Rye’s yellow plane.  John had taken it. 

Jacob opened the top of the plane and got out.  “Wait here for me.  I’ll be back.”  A scowl had covered Jacob’s face.  Only a few minutes ago he had seemed happy and making jokes with her.  Now he only looked angry.  Liz couldn’t help but wonder if it was something she said or because he wasn’t happy to be here.  He didn’t say anything else before he stormed off.  There were several cultists patrolling the property.  They were doing their best to stay out of the way of their herald.  They all looked like they were on edge.  John had said over the radio that his whole family was gathering to talk.  She wondered how many times that actually happened. 

Liz couldn’t help but feel somewhat sad at her sudden abandonment.  She hoped that she wouldn’t be here all night.  Seeing that Jacob was gone, Liz climbed out of the plane.  She sat of the wing and leaned back against the plane.  Her legs stretched out in front of her.  They still slightly hurt from the bear attack and being cramped up in the plane.  She probably shouldn’t be sitting on the wing of the plane, but she didn’t care.  If Jacob was going to be awhile, she wanted to be somewhat comfortable.

Her muscles were sore from today’s events.  It had been a hell of a day.  With all the adrenaline pumping through her, she hadn’t realized that she was starving.  The last thing she ate was this morning at the veteran’s center.  Nothing she could do about it now.  She spent her time surveying the ranch.  She counted thirteen guards and three alarm boxes.  The thought of running had flitted through her mind but she didn’t act on it though.  She didn’t try to escape anymore.  There was no getting out of this situation, there was only survival.  She did though think of what she would do if she was going to run.  She could try to take Jacob’s plane but the .50 Cal on the roof would shoot her down, guaranteed that she didn’t crash it first.

Liz’s head started to hurt as the thoughts rattled through her brain.  All this thinking wasn’t going to help her, she just had to wait.  She sunk a little bit lower on the plane and let her muscles relax.  She covered her face with her ball cap and closed her eyes.  Hopefully she could get some rest before more shit hit the fan.

…

Liz felt something prodding her shoulder.  She thought it was nothing at first.  Eventually the movement caused her to wake up from the light sleep she had fallen into.  She removed her ball cap to see a woman standing beside the wing of the plane.  The woman had blonde hair almost the exact same shade as Liz’s and wore a white dress with flowers on it.  It was Jacob’s sister Faith Seed.

The woman had a kind smile but said nothing.  She gestured for Liz’s hand.  She helped Liz down off of the plane wing and led her away from it.  Liz was confused why Faith Seed had come to fetch her.  Liz was no one.  She wasn’t even one of Jacob’s more skilled soldiers.  She didn’t want to go with the herald but she knew that there was no getting out of it.  Whenever one of the Seeds wanted you, there was no escape. 

Faith continued to hold her hand as she guided as she guided her across the grounds of the ranch.  It was in a friendly gesture and it was a guarantee that she didn’t run off.  The guards were staring at her and Faith.  She had heard that Faith was the ‘hook’ of Eden’s Gate.  She would lure people in with her looks and then send them into the bliss.  Some of the cultists were probably in love with Faith as well.  It was no surprise why, the woman in the lace dress was very beautiful.  Liz couldn’t help but wonder if Joseph had wanted her to join the cult for a similar reason.

Liz was guided to the front double doors of the ranch.  Both doors were open, beckoning them inside.  The inside of Seed Ranch was gorgeous.  There were ten foot high ceilings and a chandelier made out of deer antlers.  Several stuffed bears and deer heads were scattered about.  A large fireplace sat in the center of the living room.  This place was a wealthy redneck’s dream house.

The two women rounded the tall fireplace to the dining room table on the other side.  Joseph, John, and Jacob were all gathered around the table.  Liz’s breath caught in her throat.  This is not where she wanted to be.  She was alone with the entire Seed family.  It was her worst nightmare.  She regretted not running off into the woods when she had the chance.  The brothers turned their attention to them.

Joseph and John were both sitting at the table.  Jacob was standing and leaning over the table.  Liz glanced over at him but he didn’t even look at her.  Joseph was wearing his regular smile.  It always looked innocent enough but his eyes behind the yellow sunglasses always looked deceitful, like a snake.  Faith brought Liz over to him.  He welcomed her with open arms.

“Hello my child.” Joseph said.

“Hello Father.”  The words felt wrong in her mouth.  That’s how Jacob had told her to address his brother.  She felt like she could throw up.  Joseph wasn’t her father, or her uncle, or even someone she respected.  He was a man keeping her from freedom.  Joseph’s hands cupped her face and studied her features. 

He turned to speak to Faith.  “Get her cleaned up while we discuss matters.  We’ll eat when you both have returned.” 

‘ _Get cleaned up?_ ’ Liz thought. 

Faith nodded at the request and guided Liz away from the table.  Faith was a herald and an important member of Eden’s Gate but she wouldn’t be sitting in on their discussion.  The woman was a master manipulator but Joseph treated her like she was his servant.  She had been sent away from the adult table to go attend to their guest. 

Faith had led her through a pair of double doors that connected the living room to the rest of the mansion.  It wasn’t until that Liz caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror that she understood what Joseph had been talking about.  The girl that Liz had seen in the mirror was truly terrifying.  Streaks of blood were still on her face from the bear attack.  There were dark circles under her eyes.  Her hair was matted down with dirt and blood.  She was pretty sure there were a few leaves in her hair.  The clothes she wore were tattered and there was a large hole in her pants where Jacob had cut them.  She looked like a wild animal.

There were two floors in the other part of the ranch.  The furniture and decorations were just as beautiful as the living room.  All of the doors on the second floor were sealed shut.  It might have been John’s private quarters.  Faith led her into a spare bedroom on the first floor and closed the door behind them.  The woman still hadn’t spoken to her.  There had been fear in her eyes when Joseph had sent her away.

There was a bathroom in the back of the guest room.  The floor was covered in marble and a porcelain tub sat in the center.  Faith shut the door behind them and began to run a bath.  She helped Liz undress and get into the tub.  Liz was a bit uncomfortable having this woman that she didn’t even know help her.  Her body was too tired to care though.  She was bruised, bloody, and exhausted.  Faith’s eyes had skimmed across the stitches on her leg.

“What happened?” She asked.

Liz was confused by her question at first but then realized the gashes that had been on her leg.  The stiches had caused the lacerations to swell and they left red marks down her leg.

“Bear attack.”

Faith nodded in satisfaction with the answer and didn’t press the subject.  She helped Liz wash off.  Liz just sat there and let the woman wash away the day’s events.  She washed her hair and cleansed her from all of the dirt and grime that had been on her.  The bath water had turned a light pink from the blood and dirt particles had sunk to the bottom. 

Upon further inspection, Liz realized that she had recognized Faith.  She couldn’t figure out where she had known the woman, but Liz knew that she was form Hope County.  She racked her brain, trying to figure out the woman’s actual name but came up empty.  Liz didn’t ask her though.  This wasn’t the time or place.

When Liz was finally clean, Faith helped her stand and climb out of the tub.  Liz’s leg had buckled slightly getting out.  It was a bit painful for her to stand, but not so terrible that she couldn’t power through it.  Faith handed her a towel so she could dry off and left the bathroom.  Liz dried herself off and squeezed the water out from her hair.  Faith returned to her with a pair of brown flats and a blue dress in her hands.  Liz was appalled.  It was about the last thing she wanted to wear.  The dress was pastel blue in color and had a form fitting bodice.  It had short cap sleeves and a matching cloth belt.  Faith helped her into the dress. 

To Liz’s surprise it fit her perfectly.  The dress made her look like she had just walked out of a store in 1957.  It was a pretty dress, but wearing it had just felt wrong to Liz.  Faith brushed her hair and braided it.  She wrapped the braid into a bun and secured it with pins.  Liz caught another glimpse of herself in the mirror.  The dirty face she had seen in the mirror earlier was haunting but the one she saw now was even worse.  Her body was free from dirt and blood.  Liz didn’t recognize the girl staring back at her.  She had grown accustomed to the grime.  Living in a war zone had become second nature.  Liz didn’t give a second thought to being bloody or carrying a gun but this was something else.  She felt constrained in the dress.  To her it felt like a collar.  Something to remind her that she wasn’t in control. 

The brown shoes easily slipped on her feet.  The blue dress went a little past her knees and covered the stitches that were on her thigh.  Faith’s handiwork was quite amazing.  She took Liz from a dirty hobo and made her look like an actual woman.  When Liz was finally ready, Faith smiled and took her hand again.  She led her back out into the living room.

Liz could smell the food that was sitting on the dining room table.  Her stomach growled a little louder than she had hoped.  She was so hungry.  Joseph, John, and Jacob were still gathered around the table, waiting on them.  Joseph had smiled when he had seen her appearance.  He was most likely pleased that she wasn’t running around the ranch looking like a sewer rat.  John looked her up and down like she was a meal.  Not in the ‘he wanted to fuck her’ type of look.  More so a look that told her that he would enjoy gutting her open if he got the chance.  Chills went down her spine.  Jacob met her eyes this time.  He looked at her with disgust.  She didn’t know why but she felt a pang of sadness at his reaction.  She didn’t let it show though.  Liz was his soldier, she had to be strong.  It didn’t matter how she felt.

Both she and Faith set down at the dining room table.  Joseph sat at the head of the table and Faith sat next to him.  John sat across from both the girls and Jacob sat at the foot of the table.  Liz sat between Jacob and Faith.  There was food piled on the table.  Liz couldn’t help but let her mouth water a little.  It had been a long day. 

Joseph was the first to speak.  “Let us give thanks.”  He took Faith’s hand in his own and Faith did the same to her.  She gave Jacob a cautious look.  The only times Jacob had touched her were out of necessity for survival.  He said nothing but gently extend his hand to her.  She laid her hand on top of his and closed her eyes.  Joseph began to stay a prayer but Liz had completely tuned him out.  All she could think about was how Jacob’s hand felt in hers.  Liz had the strangest feeling of eyes watching her.  Everyone had closed their eyes for Joseph’s prayer.  Was Jacob watching her?  She thought about opening her eyes for a moment to check but she decided against it.

When the prayer was over, they began to eat.  Liz couldn’t cram food down her mouth fast enough.  She ate chicken, green beans, and cornbread.  There was also some mac and cheese but after taking a bite of it she decided not to finish it.  It was a bit too watery for her taste.  Other than the mac and cheese the food was better than anything she had eaten in a long time.  At the veteran’s center she mostly ate MRE’s.  The food had reminded her of how her home used to be.  Even though she was in her childhood home of Holland Valley, it wasn’t the same. 

Not much small talk was exchanged between the siblings.  They clearly didn’t do this much.  It was so different from the family dinners that Liz used to have.  The room would be so full of laughter and life.  Sometimes her Uncle Eli would even come.  There was no laughter here.  Liz just couldn’t figure out why anyone had wanted her here.  She wasn’t important in Jacob’s operation.  She would have been perfectly fine waiting by the plane, but yet here she sat with the entire Seed family.

Everyone around the table had finished eating.  Faith and Joseph had been talking had been talking about bliss shipments and something called ‘angels’.  John stood up from the table.

“We need to talk, brother.” John said.  Jacob nodded and followed his brother through the double doors so they could talk in private.  He didn’t look very happy.

Liz was alone with Faith and Joseph.  They both seemed happy but she still felt uncomfortable.  Her palms had started to grow sweaty. 

“How have you been adapting to Jacob’s training?” Faith asked.  Liz had been staring off into space and hadn’t realized that Faith had been speaking to her. 

“Oh, um.  Okay I guess.  I’m just glad to be home.  Even if it’s… different.”  It was a lie.  She was a terrible liar.  She hated it here.  She hated being kidnapped by Eden’s gate.  She wished she had never come home.  The place that had been her home was gone.  It was only a sweet memory now.  Eden’s Gate was kidnapping, killing, and terrorizing the county.  It was very different from when she left. 

Joseph studied her face.  His gaze had looked right through her lies.  “I can see that you’re unhappy here.  That you long to be somewhere else.  But tell me, were you any happier elsewhere?  You ran away from your home to find purpose but here you sit.  Still searching for that satisfaction.  Why do you continue to reject us?” He asked.

Liz gritted her teeth.  She shouldn’t have gotten angry, not against Joseph.  Joseph was the most powerful man in Hope County.  He could have her disposed of in an instant for talking back.  It was the dumbest move she could make but she did it anyway.  Her emotions had gotten the better of her.  “I was captured and have been held against my will in the sake of the project.  I just wanted to be left alone.  Not pulled into this shit.  What do you people want with me?”

“We want to love you, Elizabeth.”

His answer had shocked her.  All of her pent up anger had faded away.  Joseph had always talked about how he loved his ‘children’ but it felt different when he was telling it directly to her.

“You have been searching all over.  Everything you have been through was leading you here.  We are your true family.  We accept you just as you are but you also have to accept us in return.  Can you at least admit that you weren’t satisfied with your old life?” He asked.  As crazy as Joseph was, he was right about some things.  He always knew exactly what to say to get someone to break.

“I guess I am surprised by how many things I don’t miss.  My phone, TV, social media.  It all just seems useless now.”  That had mainly been due to Jacob’s training and the times she had almost been killed.  She truly didn’t miss any of those things.  Now she just wanted to survive.

“You are so special.  It shines right off you.  But you have to accept the word in your heart.  Accept us in your heart, because we are your family now.  Can you do that?” He asked.

Liz knew that it was all lies.  All that bullshit about being special.  He probably told that to everyone but it still was very persuasive.  She almost had believed it.  It made her feel important.

“Yes.  I’m sorry Father.”  She almost believed herself too.

Joseph smiled.  “Good.  You should listen to Jacob.  He will teach you many things.  Sister Faith will also help you.  She will guide you down The Path and lead you to bliss.  I hope that…”  Liz never got to hear what he was going to say.  Shouting came from the east part of the ranch.  She was pretty sure that she heard something shatter too.  The double doors burst open and Jacob stormed out.  His eyebrows were furrowed and he wore his typical scowl on his face.  He didn’t even glance their way before he stormed outside. 

He had gotten into a fight with John.  Jacob didn’t lose his cool a lot, but when he did it was terrifying.  Joseph had remained calm but wore a disappointed look.  “I’m going to see what is troubling John.  Excuse me.”  He got up and left the two women sitting at the dining room table.  Faith was very nice but she didn’t want to sit here any longer. 

“I’ll see where Jacob went.”  Liz got up from the table and scurried away.  Faith didn’t object to her sudden departure.  Liz didn’t realize that her heart had been thumping violently in her chest.  Sitting at that dining room table had been stressful, even though she hadn’t spoken much. 

The night air was cool.  She had shivered a little in the dress she was wearing.  She couldn’t wait to get out of the damn thing.  The guards around the property had been alerted to her attention but didn’t shoot, realizing who she was.  Liz ignored them and searched the property for Jacob.  The plane was still sitting on the runway, so he hadn’t completely left her.  If he had, Liz probably would have made a run for it.  She would have rather died trying to run than have to stay here with John and Joseph. 

Her eyes scanned over the rooftops of the ranch until she found him.  He was standing on the highest balcony over the hangar.  ‘ _He sure moves fast when he’s angry._ ’ She thought.  Liz spotted a ladder on the side of the hangar and walked over to it.  She began to feel anxious and it wasn’t because of the height.  She had no idea what she was going to say.  Their conversations in the past had mainly been in necessity or insult.  Sometimes they had even joked with one another.  Jacob had his own sick sense of humor, he just didn’t show it that often.

She climbed the ladder to the tower.  She was fully aware of the breeze that had lifted up her dress partially as she climbed.  The cultists had glanced her way but their eyes didn’t linger.  The cult forbade things like that.  And they were more focused on staying out of the way of the Seeds. 

When she made it to the top, her palms had become sweaty.  Jacob was leaning on the railing that overlooked the grounds.  He had seen her but didn’t acknowledge her presence. 

“Damn you sure know how to make an exit.”  There she went again.  She was always blunt, saying anything that was on her mind.  Liz wasn’t smiling though.  She wasn’t joking with him.  It was a fact. 

Jacob still said nothing.  He only huffed at her remark.  Liz approached him cautiously.  Like a gazelle approaching a lion.  She acted like he could snap out and break her neck at any moment.  She rested her arms on the railing beside him.

“What’s wrong?”  It was a simple question but one that Jacob probably never got asked.  He turned his head and spared a glance her way.  His expression had softened a little.

“John says you need to confess to him.  That you need to reach atonement…  That’s not gonna happen though.” He said.

Atonement was what John called it when he cut off your skin.  Liz thought back to the stare John had given her earlier.  It made chills go down her spine.  She didn’t want to confess anything.  That last thing she wanted was to be alone in a room with him. 

“I didn’t think you gave a shit about me.”  There was curiosity in her voice.  In the past Jacob had expressed his willingness to kill her at a drop of a hat but today things had been… different.

“I don’t.  But I don’t let my Chosen go anywhere near John.  My soldiers can’t cull the herd if they’re crying about the sin tattooed on their chest.  It doesn’t matter what they’ve done, it only matters if they can follow orders.  John and I can’t see eye to eye on that.” He said.

Liz had been surprised that he had referred to her as one of his Chosen.  She wasn’t one of them though.  She knew what her place in Jacob’s army was.  “Yeah well I guess I’m no good to you trapped down in a bunker.  There’s no point in having a trophy if you don’t show it off.”

“At least you know your purpose.” He said.

Liz shifted uncomfortably next to him.  She didn’t really know what to say to Jacob.  Even after all the jokes today, he was still a bit of a mystery to her.  She thought back to what he had told her earlier today.  About how he was willing to die for Joseph.  She wondered if that blinded devotion applied to John and Faith as well.  The dinner with the Seed Family had been uncomfortable to her, but the family at least tolerated one another.

“I think you’re wrong… about your purpose.  I think you’re wrong.”  She could feel his eyes on her but didn’t look his way.  She stared up at the sky instead.  It was peaceful.  More peaceful that Jacob’s eyes burrowing holes in her skull.

“You don’t have to die for Joseph to show him that you love him.  If your purpose was to die then you would have been blown to hell by that RPG.  You would have starved out in the desert or I would have stabbed you in the chest.  If you love your brother, you just have to be there for him.  You have more to offer than just your death.”

Liz turned to look at him.  His blue eyes were haunting to look at.  He gave her a small chuckle.  “God, you sound just like Miller.”

She gave him a puzzled look.  “Was he the one you…?”

‘ _ate?’_ She thought.  She didn’t finish the sentence but his look indicated that he knew what she was asking.  Was Miller the man he had spoken of that night in the cabin?  He had only mentioned it once.  Liz hadn’t thought about it much.  She tried not to judge Jacob on what he had done in his past.  She had done some terrible things herself.

“Yeah.” His voice was dark and grim.

“I met Miller in training.  He was tall and kind of quiet.  Didn’t attract a lot of attention.  But damn the times when he opened his mouth, he had some shit to say.  Miller would always let you know exactly what he thought of ya’.  Nothing was fake with him.  Which is why he and I got along just fine.  Except Miller always told me that I needed to get out of a warzone and settle down.  That I could do more than just put a bullet in people’s skulls.”

Liz was hanging on to every word of his story.  She liked hearing about his past, even if it wasn’t easy to hear sometimes.  She cautiously reached out and placed her hand on his arm.  She wasn’t sure if it was to comfort him or herself.  “What happened out in that desert?”

He hadn’t recoiled from her touch.  His eyes had a soft expression but something darker laid behind them.  Jacob began to tell Liz the story of how he and Miller had gotten separated from the rest of their unit.  It had happened one night after an ambush.  They had no food and no way to contact anyone.  The nearest base had been 200 clicks to the south.  All they could do was walk.  They walked for days. 

By the third day Jacob told her that he knew they were lost.  They had been stumbling around in the sand with no clue where to go.  By the sixth day, they had run out of water.  By the seventh day, Miller’s legs had started to give out.  On the eight day of being stranded out there, a pack of wolves had started to close in.  The wolves had been on their trail since the first day.  It was almost poetic.  The wolves had once hunted Jacob, but now he controlled the wolves.  They feared him instead now.

“I looked at Miller, and I knew we’re as good as dead.  And I accepted that.  I wasn’t going to fight it.  I was ready to die right there where I stood, but in that acceptance came clarity.  I knew both of us weren’t walking out of that desert, but one of us could.  It was my test.  It was what brought me here.”

Her hand was still resting on his forearm.  She could feel all of the burns and scar tissue that rested there.  Liz imagined him telling this story to some of the Chosen as a way to intimidate them.  But here this felt different.  Jacob had seemed so broken telling her this story.

“I didn’t want to do it.  I didn’t, but I knew that I had to.  Miller had seen that look in my eyes.  When he realized what was gonna happen, he just smiled.  At that point the dehydration had kicked in and he just wanted to be done.  He said that I should do what I gotta do.  He was always up front with me until the end.”

Liz squeezed his arm, fully aware of how close she was to Jacob.  She stood right beside him and was practically leaning on him.  It was only for a moment but Liz was pretty sure that’s Jacob’s gaze had flitted across her lips.  The gaze seemed wrong, considering the story he had just told her.

“Miller would have liked you.  He would have really liked you.  You two are a lot alike.  First time you made some smartass comment all I could see was that bastard’s cocky smile.” He said.

She couldn’t help but give him a smirk.  “I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.  Wouldn’t want to get trapped alone in a bunker with you.”  He opened his mouth to speak but got cut off.

“Am I interrupting something?”

Liz had immediately backed away from Jacob and released his arm from her grasp.  She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks.  She had been ashamed that someone had caught them talking.  She turned around to see Faith standing on the balcony with them.  She had climbed up there barefoot.  Faith had her hands clasped in front of her but her face had a soft smile. 

“I’d like to speak to Elizabeth.” She said.

Jacob’s smile had faded in her presence.  His stare had hardened.  Liz had seen the secret smiles he would have and the jokes he would make.  It always went away whenever someone else was around.  Faith though wasn’t taken aback by his glares though.  “Don’t worry Jacob I will return your soldier to you.  I just want to talk to her.”

Faith surveyed the situation she had just interrupted.  The tension in the air would have been clear to anyone watching.  “I’ll give you two a minute.”

Just as quickly as she appeared, she was gone.  “She’s a sneaky one, ain’t she?” Liz asked.  Jacob gave a huff in agreeance. 

“Thank you.  For you know, saving my life those few times.  Truth is I was really no one before I came here.  I was just running around trying to figure out what I wanted.  But now I know how to fight, how to protect myself.”

Liz didn’t know what compelled her to do it.  She reached out and gently cradled the side of Jacob’s face.  She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek, right on one of his scars.  Despite the cool air, her breath had been hot on his skin.  Liz’s hand had lingered in his beard for too long.  His red hair had been softer than she imagined.  She ran her hand through it one more time before she pulled away.

She had expected him to recoil from her touch, but he hadn’t.  He hadn’t shown any reaction either.  Jacob just stared off over the balcony, always taking it like a soldier.  “This is me being more grateful by the way.  In case you didn’t notice.” She whispered in his ear.  She backed away from him and walked over to the ladder.

“You did what you had to so you could survive.  I understand that.  I think Miller understood that too.  If you want to honor Miller’s sacrifice you should listen to what he had to say.”  Liz didn’t say anything else.  She climbed back down the ladder where Faith was waiting for her at the bottom.  The woman took her hand and led her away from the hangar.  They walked away from the ranch.  Liz felt cold again.  The heat had finally left her cheeks.  She was pretty sure she had been blushing the entire time she was up there.  They walked down to a riverbank.  They were at least a few hundred yards away, she couldn’t see the lights from the outside of Seed Ranch.  They were alone.  Faith released her hand and approached the water.

“I see the way you look at Jacob.” Faith said. 

Liz bit her lip.  She didn’t want to talk about what Faith had heard and probably seen on the balcony.  She did her best to change the subject, but she was a terrible liar. “What, like I want to kill him?  I think we’ve both made it pretty clear that we can’t stand each other.”

Faith laughed.  She had seen right through her lies.  “No silly.  I can see that you look up to him.  You respect him and wish for him to respect you as well.  There’s something else too, I’m not saying in what way.  You probably don’t even know.” She said.

There was truth in her words.  Liz had always craved respect.  She had wanted people to look at her as someone important.  When she was younger she had craved it as well.  She had played softball for the trophies, and for the recognition.  Now those trophies were piled in a heap on the floor of her old mobile home.  None of them mattered anymore.  “No one has ever really taken me seriously.  Everyone in my life has treated me like I was fragile.”

Faith stared into her eyes.  She was searching for something.  “Your presence says a lot.  I could tell by the way you carry yourself.  You keep your head held high, even if you are uncomfortable.  You have been very loved in your life, but not respected.  Sometimes those who loves us hold us back the most.  The Father does not hold us back though.  He helps us see our fullest potential.”

It was unnerving how Faith could read someone so easily.  That was her job though.  That was her purpose.  Something inside Liz snapped though when Faith had mentioned Joseph.  She shouldn’t be falling for all this crap. 

“You’re awfully chattier than before.  Why’s that huh?”  The accusation had come out harsher than she had wanted it to be.  Faith wasn’t affected by her comment though.  She continued on with her Eden’s gate pitch that she had probably told to a million other cultists.

“We could give you that respect.  Jacob could.  But only if you fully give yourself to The Father.  You would be respected by everyone in your new family.  No one would ever doubt you, Liz.”  Faith had approached her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Liz had to admit that Faith was pretty good.  She was impressed.  Faith knew exactly how to read people.  She could tell someone what their deepest desire was with a single glance.  It was an impressive skill to have.  One that had probably worked on hundreds of people before her.  It wouldn’t work on Liz though.  Liz wasn’t much of a manipulator but she did know how to be direct with people.  Sometimes the truth was just as effective as a lie.  As the old saying goes ‘ _You can’t bullshit, a bullshitter._ ’

“You’re not respected though.  Right?  You’re just a tool.  A means to an end.  You’re daddy’s little flower princess who will do whatever he tells you.”  As soon as the words left her mouth, she realized who she sounded like.  She sounded exactly like Jacob.  He had referred to countless people as his tools.  Some of his lingo had started to wear off on her.  That’s all Liz and Faith were tough.  They were tools.  Liz was Jacob’s tool and Faith was Joseph’s.  Two sides of the same coin.  One woman longed for respect and told the truth.  The other longed to be loved and spewed lies. 

Liz watched as the color drained from Faith’s face.  What she had said had struck a nerve.  “The Father loves me.” She said.  There was uncertainty in her voice.  Almost as if she didn’t even believe herself.

“He doesn’t love you.”  Liz couldn’t help but look over her shoulder.  She was afraid that someone had been watching them.  It wasn’t smart of her to openly curse the name of Joseph.  It was something that could get her killed.  “I know you’re from Hope County.  You’re name’s not even Faith is it?”

Faith’s eyes showed sadness.  She turned her back to Liz and faced the water.  “In another life I was known as Rachel Jessop.  She had been abused and forgotten about by her family.  That was until Joseph found me.  Until he changed me.  I was just a child…”  Faith didn’t need to tell her more.  She had a pretty good idea of Joseph had done to her.  Growing up she had known The Jessop Conservatory.  In Hope County everyone knew everybody.  Liz hadn’t known Rachel personally but she had heard stories about her drug addiction.  Her parents had told her to stay away from the Jessop girl, that she was nothing but trouble.

The woman who stood before her wasn’t trouble, she was broken.  Her back was turned, but Liz could hear her small sniffles.  Liz approached her to see that she had a few tears running down her face.  Liz pulled the woman into a hug.  Faith buried her head into Liz’s shoulder.  Liz couldn’t help but feel sorry for the girl.  In another life they could have been friends, maybe even sisters.  They looked a lot alike.

They stood like that for a while.  Faith clutched to her blue dress and Liz stroked to back of her head.  Liz couldn’t help but feel sorry for the woman.  She could have easily been Faith Seed.  The name could have been taken by any woman that Joseph had wanted.  Faith was a replaceable tool in Joseph’s mind.  A means to an end, not a person.

When Faith pulled away from the hug she smiled.  Liz couldn’t help but smile back.  She liked Faith.  She wasn’t entirely sure if she could trust her, but she knew that Faith feared The Father.  That probably wasn’t something she shared with many people.  It was nice to have a friend though, in all the craziness. 

“I hear the deputy has been running around in your region.  He’s pretty cute ain’t he?”  She had only seen the deputy once but he had given a lasting first impression.  He had seemed a few years older than Liz which would make him about the same age as Faith. 

Faith giggled.  “He is very handsome.  He’s very stubborn though.”

“Well I guess that means you got dibs.  Bummer.”  Liz laughed as well.  It was typical girl talk but it was comforting.  It was the type of thing that friends would talk about.  Not talking about ‘The Father’ and ‘sacrifice’ and whatever the hell The Gate of Eden was.  The two women were not normal though.  They were both tools and they each had their own purpose.

They walked back to the ranch together with lighter spirits, chatting like best friends.  The two girls had taken a liking to one another.  Liz decided that if she ever got out of Hope County, she would take Rachel with her.  She deserved to live a free life, far away from Joseph Seed. 

When they made it back to the runway, Jacob was waiting by his plane.  His foot tapped impatiently, clearly he was ready to leave.  Faith pulled her in for another hug.

“See you soon.” She said.

“Goodbye.” Liz gave her a small smile.  Her newly made friend returned it and walked away.  Her lace dress disappeared inside the doors of the ranch.

Jacob was leaning back against the plane, with his arms crossed across his chest.  His eyebrow had quirked in curiosity when the two women had hugged, but had said nothing.  His cold gaze stared her up and down.  She was still wearing the pale blue dress.  “You look ridiculous in that thing.  I think I like you better when you’re covered in blood.” He said.

Liz let out a scoff.  “Me too actually.”  She had grown accustomed to feeling dirty and bloodied.  Wearing the dress all night had felt wrong.  She longed for a pair of pants.

“When we get back, you’re taking that shit off immediately.  I don’t need anyone getting… distracted.” He said.

‘ _Do you find me distracting?_ ’ She almost asked him.  But she didn’t, instead she flashed him a sarcastic grin.  The one that he said reminded him of Miller.  “Oooo, eager to get your little trophy undressed, huh?”  It had come out dirtier than she had meant it to be.  She hadn’t meant for it to sound so suggestive.  Liz wasn’t much of a flirt.  Sometimes though her sarcasm came off as flirty when she didn’t mean it to be.  She should have just gone with the first question she had for him.

Inwardly cursing herself and partially embarrassed, she climbed back into gunner seat of the plane.  Her cheeks were as red as Jacob’s plane.  He hadn’t said anything about her meltdown, probably thankful that she had shut up.  She had done it to herself this time.  She strapped herself in and hit the side of the plane, indicating she was ready to go.  She heard the propeller of the plane roar to life.

Liz braced herself as the plane sped down the runway.  It soared through the sky and she could see the lights that twinkled from across the valley.  It was so beautiful.  It was a view that she could never get tired of.  Her body though was fatigued.  It had to be at least past midnight by now.  It had been a very, _very_ long day.  She didn’t want to think about her new friendship with Faith or the conversations she had with Jacob today.  It all seemed too complicated.  She focused on the wind in her hair and the roar of the propeller.  She could sort out her feelings another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Faith and Liz both just needed a good long hug and a friend.


	7. Thrill Me Like You Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want ya'll to know that I love and appreciate all of your comments and kudos. You guys are the absolute best <3

Liz had been in his office with him when it had happened.  When Jacob had found out.  In one night the Deputy put a very large dent in Jacob’s operation.  The Junior Deputy had managed to liberate the Baron Lumber Mill, kill one of Jacob’s VIP’s _The Cook_ , and destroy a few of his wolf beacons.  The Deputy had abandoned the Henbane River to come and cause trouble up in the Whitetail Mountains. 

Jacob looked _pissed._ He had incredible self-control, but Liz could tell when he was angry.  Jacob always walked with confidence and his head held high.  When he was angry he didn’t lash out.  His bravado would fade away instead.  He would lose his ‘all-knowing’ smirks and his cold gaze would go from calculating to lethal.  Like he had already planned out a hundred ways to kill you in his head.  It was truly terrifying to see.

The deputy had been able to take so much in such a short amount of time.  Jacob hadn’t even been in the region when it happened.  They had been at Seed Ranch, making jokes and swapping stories.  It was crazy how much could change in one night.  Yesterday felt like some crazy dream to Liz.  Like she just woke up and was now living a nightmare. 

When Jacob had heard of what the deputy had done, he had gritted his teeth and snatched his radio up from the desk.

“There is someone out there… pretending to be a soldier.  They are killing our brothers and sisters, and putting this project in jeopardy.  I want this coward to know that they have my attention.”  His voice made chills down go Liz’s spine.  He never raised his voice once but it was still frightening all the same. 

“My hunters are coming for you.  There’s nowhere you can run.”

Liz’s first meeting with Jacob hadn’t been pleasant, but he hadn’t spoken to her the way he had spoken to the deputy.  If she had gotten a call like that, she probably would have pissed herself.  She would be hightailing it out of the mountains.  The deputy didn’t seem that smart though.  He hadn’t met Jacob face to face.  He didn’t know what Jacob was capable of.  The next call he made was out to his hunters.  Jacob’s hunters were the best of the Chosen.  They were the most elite group in his entire army.  They could track down and eliminate any target.  If Jacob wanted you, he was going to get you.

Liz sat across from him at his desk.  CB radios and boxes of maps were piled high on the metal surface, which partially blocked her view of him.  She met his eyes only once since he sent the call out and she wished she hadn’t.  She had seen his hands curled into fists and a scowl grow on his face.  There was nothing he could do but sit and wait for his hunters to capture the deputy. 

She kept herself busy by cleaning his knife and sidearm.  This morning when she had gotten back from the wolf beacons, one of the prisoners had escaped.  The resistance member had jimmied the lock with a few tools that the cultists had failed to take off of him.  Jacob made an example out of him.  He had only made it a few feet from his cage before Jacob put a bullet in the back of his skull.  The guard who was on prisoner duty had been asleep in a chair.  He had received a knife to the throat.  Liz had done her best not to throw up.  She hated watching someone die.  Let alone watching Jacob kill someone.  The smirk that crossed Jacob’s face when he had stabbed the man would haunt her nightmares.

A month ago she knew nothing about guns.  She didn’t even know how to load one.  Now she knew how to take one apart, clean it, and fire it.  She took more joy in cleaning a weapon than she ever did scrolling through social media on her phone.  The work made sense now.  It was the only thing that didn’t change.  She used a rag to clean Jacob’s red and black pistol.  She took it apart and put it back together twice, just to keep herself busy.  When there wasn’t a speck of dirt left on it, she turned her attention to his knife.

The soft rag she used to clean his weapons had turned a deep red.  It soaked up most of the blood that had been on his knife.  The metal was still warm and had a few streaks of pink on it.  After a few minutes of rubbing the metal raw she had been able to get it off.  The knife felt comfortable in her hands.  She was surprised by how relaxed she felt holding it.  It was something solid in all of this craziness. 

Jacob had just sat there, tapping his fingers on the desk.  He was probably plotting his next move.  He looked so flustered and so lost.  Liz found it strange to see him this way.  He was always so sure of himself.  What the deputy had done had been sprung on him without warning. 

She didn’t know how long they sat there in silence.  It could have been minutes or hours.  They didn’t even look at one another.  Liz and Jacob acted like they were complete strangers despite what had happened last night.  She wasn’t sure if yesterday had even been real.  The blue dress she wore last night had been disposed of.  The kind smiles that had been on Jacob’s face were gone.  She wasn’t sure what to think of Faith either.  It had been so nice talking to her.  She thought she had made a friend, but looking back Liz realized it had all been a ploy.  Faith knew exactly what to say to get Liz to feel sorry for her.  It had worked too, she had let her guard down.  It didn’t matter though.  She probably wouldn’t be seeing Faith ever again.  Jacob might have disposed of her before then.

After waiting for a while, static came from Jacob’s radio.  He snatched it up from the table to hear what his hunters had to say.  “Jacob.  Sir, we got the deputy.  He put up a fight but nothing we couldn’t handle.”

“You sure it’s him?” He growled into the radio.  That was Jacob’s way of giving them a second chance.  If his hunters wasted his time and brought him the wrong man, they would all end up dead.  Jacob wanted things done right the first time.

“Yes sir.  It’s the deputy.  We’re sure of it.”

“Good.  Bring the deputy to the Grand View.  I’ll meet you there.”  He ended the call and got up from his desk chair.  She saw Jacob stand a little taller, clearly pleased that he had caught the deputy.  Liz had scrambled out of her chair.  She didn’t want to go back to the Grand View.  That place was the stuff of nightmares.  She would have to go back though.  There was no getting out of it. 

She put Jacob’s weapons back in his holster.  It was an impressive setup.  The camo knife sheath was attached directly to the pistol holster.  Both weapons rested at the hip for easy access.  She brought it over to where he was standing.  Jacob stared her down but didn’t say anything.  She gestured for him to take the belt but he just stood there.  He gave her a small smirk. 

Liz sighed in frustration.  She knew exactly what that meant.  He didn’t say anything but didn’t have to.  After being around him for the past few weeks she had a way of reading him.  Jacob wanted her to put his belt on him.  He quirked his eyebrow and raised his hands a little to give her easy access.  She rolled her eyes. With the holster tucked underneath her arm, she pushed up his dirty T-Shirt to reach his belt loops.  Her hands wandered a bit too far under his shirt. 

Her fingertips lightly grazed over his abdomen.  She could feel the hard muscle that was underneath.  Jacob was a very strong man.  Anyone who took one look at him could see that.  There was a difference though between seeing and feeling.  His skin was rough from burn marks and scar tissue.  Liz’s hands roamed across the uneven skin that covered his midsection.  Her fingers curled into tufts of his chest hair, which made Jacob groan.

“You having fun down there, little lamb?”

Liz was snapped out of the daze she was in.  She couldn’t believe herself.  Jacob had meant for the whole thing to be demeaning but there she stood, fondling his chest.  She felt blush to start rising in her cheeks. 

“Sorry.  I…”  She felt stupid.  So stupid.  How did she keep ending up in these awkward situation with him?  She hadn’t meant to embarrass herself again.  Liz started to pull her hands away from his abdomen.  Jacob grabbed them before she could.

“I didn’t say you had to stop.” He said.

Her head had perked up and she met his gaze.  As she looked into his icy blue eyes she forgot.  She forgot about the two men he had killed this morning, the angry scowls that usually crossed his face, and the deputy that was on his way to be brainwashed.  It was dangerous to forget things like that.  This man was her enemy.  He was also her protector.  Two things that didn’t go together, but somehow perfectly described Jacob Seed. 

In his eyes she saw permission.  Permission to continue with what she was doing, maybe to take it even further.  That wasn’t something that was given freely with Jacob.  She thought about it for a moment.  What it would mean if she got close to him.  It was wrong.  Liz knew that.  Jacob would never actually care about her.  He was only amused by her.  The only thing he cared about was culling the herd.  He would throw her away when he was done with her. 

She removed her hands from under his shirt.  He let out a sigh.  It sounded like he was disappointed.  Liz took the belt out from under her arm and fed it through his belt loops.  She had to wrap her arms around Jacob’s torso to get the belt on him.  It was like she was giving him the most awkward hug ever.  He didn’t do anything to help her though.  He just stood there with a giant smirk on his face.  When she finally got the belt to the front of his pants, she yanked it a little too hard.  Jacob slightly stumbled forward.  Her face collided with his chest.  She was pressed up against his dirty T-shirt.  The metal dog tags he wore make a clinking sound when she hit them.  Her hands lost their grip on his belt.  They had fallen down and her fingers raked across his crotch. 

It had only been for a moment but she had distinctly felt the bulge that had been growing in his pants.  His crotch had been hard.  She immediately recoiled from him.  Grabbing Jacob’s crotch had been the last thing she had wanted, or expected to do today.  Jacob had done it on purpose.  He wanted her to be flustered.  Liz wasn’t strong enough to make him flinch, let alone stumble into her.  It didn’t stop her though from curling her hand into a fist and taking a swing at him.  Jacob was too quick though.  Just like when she had tried to stab him at the chalet.  He had caught her hand with ease.  His grip on her wrist was strong enough to break it.

“Ah, ah, ah.  Honey, you’re not done yet.”  He was referring to the unbuckled belt that hung from his hips. 

“On your knees.” He said.  Liz’s eyes grew wide.  Fear had flashed through her at the command.  She knew what this was but it still made her uneasy.  It made her wonder though if he was asking for something else.  Putting her on her knees was a power move by Jacob.  It was something to remind her that he was still in control.  That no matter how many jokes she made or how many songs she sang to him, he held all the power.  And nothing that she was going to do would change that.

His right hand pushed on her shoulder until she was on his knees in front of him.  “Really?” She whined.  Her face was flustered and her nose scrunched up in anger.  Liz was exactly eye level with his crotch.  Down there, she noticed a lot of things about Jacob that she didn’t want to know.  He wore _Levi’s_ jeans that were light blue in color.  They were your typical cowboy jeans that you could get at any local Walmart.  There were streaks of dirt on them from constantly being outdoors.  She saw a small tear in his army jacket on the lower left side.  It was terribly stitched up with black thread.  Jacob had sewn it back up himself.  She also noticed a scar underneath his chin.  It wasn’t something you ever notice unless you were in this position.  He had lots of scars across his body, but this one was different.  It was an ugly pink line that ran from the tip of his chin all the way to where his throat began.  His red beard hair had covered most of it from view but the hair didn’t grow where the scar was.  The scar looked old.  Someone had cut him there with a knife.  She didn’t like to think about all of the torture Jacob had probably went through.  It almost made her feel sorry for him.  Those were the least embarrassing things she noticed about him.  She now also knew what it looked like when Jacob Seed felt thick in the pants.  The image was burned into her brain.  Liz couldn’t help but wonder if she had been partially responsible for it.  She had been groping his chest after all.

She shifted uncomfortably on the tile floor.  Her leg still slightly hurt from the bear attack yesterday.  She felt so pathetic kneeling there.  It might have been something she enjoyed if it was in a different context, with a different man.  She reached up and grabbed the ends of his belt.  She fed one end through the other until it was tight around his waist.  Liz was careful about where she put her hands.  She didn’t want to repeat the incident.  She reached down further and strapped Jacob’s holster to his leg. 

Jacob had been staring at her the whole time.  He had looked her up and down.  He had that same calculated look in his eyes but there was something else too.  For a moment she had thought it was desire.  She dismissed the thought.  Jacob would never want her like that, no one ever had.  She never thought of herself as pretty.  She was small and relatively flat chested, despite almost being 21.  Countless people still thought of her as a child.  She was probably too young for him anyways.

Liz gave him a forced smile.  “Happy now?”

His eyes crossed over her one more time.  Taking in the sight of his complete control over her.  “Extremely.  Get up.” He ordered.

She staggered to her feet.  A sharp pain went through her leg.  She couldn’t wait to get those damn stiches out of her thigh.  Jacob said nothing at her distress.  He waltzed out the door of his office and she followed behind him.  She had gotten to know the veteran’s center a lot better.  She had taken mental note of the number of staircases, what rooms were empty, and how many exits there were.  The information wouldn’t help her escape but it might come in handy one day. 

The sun outside the veteran’s center beat down on her as they walked to his truck.  She was sweating in the red scarf and leather trench coat she wore.  Whoever designed the Eden’s gate outfits needed to be fired.  They were impractical, hot, restraining, and they looked dumb as hell.  Sure, they were a creepy cult but they didn’t have to dress like one.  She was just thankful she wasn’t wearing a Chosen outfit.  Those red ski masks did not look fun to wear.

They climbed into Jacob’s truck and took off from the veteran’s center.  His hunters were probably already at the Grand View.  Liz didn’t say anything to him.  She didn’t want to talk about what happened.  She had gotten a little closer to Jacob than she would have preferred to.  Her cheeks were still slightly flushed with embarrassment. 

Outside the veteran’s center it was practically a warzone.  Bodies were strung up left and right, and every gas station and cabin was ridden with bullet holes.  White Eden’s Gate trucks patrolled the roads, searching for innocent civilians to hunt down and capture.  You had nothing to fear if you were already with the cult.  They passed a few cars that were broken down on the side of the road.  Liz saw innocent people cowering in fear as the truck drove by.  Jacob didn’t pay attention to them though.  He looked more concerned with the deputy he had caught. 

That was what Eden’s Gate did.  They took and they took until there was nothing.  The cult was like a leech that was feeding of Hope County.  She couldn’t forget that.  A part of her though, trusted Jacob.  He was using her.  She knew that.  But she also knew of his kind smiles, his jokes, and his stories.  Her emotions constantly changed about him.  She couldn’t make up her damn mind about Jacob Seed.

The truck eventually came to a stop in front of the Grand View Hotel.  Pillars of black smoke rose up from the chimneys.  Almost every window was boarded up and the balconies were covered in barb wire with .50 cals mounted on them.  Jacob’s signature catchphrase ‘ _CULL THE HERD_ ’ was spray painted on the front.  Liz hated this place.  She was uneasy every time she had to come here. 

A group of Jacob’s hunters were gathered around a truck.  The Chosen wore their red ski masks and carried bows.  There were even a few judges with them.  She had never seen the judges out of their cages.  They were even uglier when they weren’t unconscious.  Their white fur was matted and torn.  She recognized the neatly painted red cross on their foreheads.  She had made those two judges.  They snarled at her as she walked by.  The judges wanted to bite off the hand that fed them, literally.  

When Jacob had approached everyone had snapped to attention, even the judges.  His confidence had come back.  Liz saw the captive as she approached the truck.  It was the Junior Deputy.  That was him.  She had only saw him once that night at Joseph’s church.  The Deputy was cute.  He was tall, slim, and had short brown hair.  He was the type of guy that she would have dated in college.  There was nothing distinct about him though.  It was as if he could be anyone.  He was just another face in the crowd.  He shouldn’t have been able to do so much damage to the cult, but he had.  Jacob had a big grin on his face.  It didn’t matter how big of a badass the Deputy was, he was no match for Jacob. 

“Take him to Peaches.  Get him started.” He said.  Jacob walked away.  His Chosen just stood there, staring at her.  It took her a minute to realize that Jacob had been talking to _her,_ not his Chosen.  Jacob wanted her to get the Deputy out of the truck.  She sighed in frustration and walked over to the tailgate.  She grabbed the Deputy by his feet and drug him to her.  His black cowboy hat fell of his head.  She picked it up and placed it on her own head.  The Deputy was wearing a navy corduroy jacket and a light blue button up to accompany the hat.  At least he had the common sense to change out of his deputy uniform.  It probably didn’t matter now that the cult knew what he looked like.  Liz grunted as she placed her arms under the Deputy’s to hoist him onto her shoulder.  He was a lot heavier than she was.  It would have made more sense for any of his able bodied men to carry him, but somehow the job fell to her.  The weight of the Deputy had threatened to crush her.  But she gritted her teeth and tightened her grip on Dep, despite the pain in her leg.

She looked around at the seven tall men that surrounded her and scoffed.  They were all just going to stand there and watch her do all the work.  “No, I’m fine.  Nobody help me.  Leave it to the lady.  I guess chivalry really is dead.”

It wasn’t the smartest thing to say to a group of Jacob’s most efficient killers.   They only responded to her sarcasm with yelling at her.  “Get moving!”  One Chosen prodded her in the back with his bow to keep her moving.  The two judges followed her on either side as she walked.  It wasn’t to protect her.  It was to keep her in line.  Her legs burned as she carried the Deputy.  His unconscious body was flung over shoulder and his face was very close to her butt.  Liz just couldn’t escape embarrassing moments today.  She carried the Deputy all the way to the front doors of the Grand View.  His wanted poster was posted by the door.  The cult worked fast.  Within one day of the deputy being in the mountains, they had already gotten posters of him up.  On the other side of the door was a poster of Jacob.  It was a play on the famous ‘Uncle Sam’ army recruitment poster.  Instead of something patriotic, it had Jacob scowling and the words _Only You_ written at the bottom. 

One of the judges snapped at her.  It growled at her feet.  The wolf was foaming out the mouth, ready to eat her.  “Oh shut up, sparky!” She spat.  Her face formed into a snarl.  It assessed her move of power before it decided that she had won.  The judge growled at her once more before leaving.

Liz carried the Deputy into the hotel.  Her breathing was labored and her muscles ached.  As soon as she rounded the corner she saw Staci.  Her heart broke into a million pieces.  He looked so much worse.  There were a few cuts and bruises on him the last time she saw him.  Now they covered every inch of his face.  He had gotten the shit beat out of him.  When Pratt had spotted her, he scurried over to help.  He grabbed the Dep under his armpits and she carried his feet.  Pratt gave her a look about the cowboy hat that was on her head but said nothing.

“Guess your rookie, ain’t as smart as you thought.”  Her voice was grim.

“He shouldn’t have come here.” He said.  The agitation had been all over Pratt’s face.  The deputy being here had affected him.  Looking at him, she understood why Jacob had told her to carry the Deputy.  Pratt was there to keep the Deputy in line.  She was there to keep Pratt in line. 

They carried the Deputy up the stairs to the third floor.  They brought him into room _306_.  Even though it was midday, the room was dark.  The windows had been boarded and covered up with blackout curtains.  The only light source was the projector showing pictures of a rotting deer carcass.  There were two other resistance members strapped to chairs.  They were drugged up and groggy. 

“Palmer…”  The words were soft but she had heard it.  The resistance member had recognized Liz.  The woman had barely been coherent, but had said her last name outright.  Why would this woman know her face?  Liz had only been with the cult, not with the Whitetail Militia.  Was her Uncle out there searching for her?  She searched the woman’s face for answers.  She opened her mouth to speak but Pratt cut her off.

“Elizabeth.  Don’t.” He said.

She looked up to see Staci shaking his head.  She kept her mouth shut.  He had put the Deputy into one of the chairs.  He was staring to stir from his drug induced slumber.  The Dep would be in for a rude awakening when he came face to face with Jacob.  Liz heard loud footsteps coming up the stairs.  She knew what that meant.  Pratt gave her a look.  “Get the hell out of here.” He said.

Liz took his advice and scrambled out of the room, shutting the door behind her.  She didn’t want to be in that room.  Bad things happened in there.  It wasn’t that long ago when it was her strapped to that chair.  She stood guard outside the door.  The stomping from the stairwell grew louder.  She turned her head to see Jacob.  He walked with his head held high.  His eyes didn’t even look at her.  He strode right past her and knocked the Deputy’s hat off her head in one fluid motion. 

“No.”  That was the only thing he said to her before he disappeared into the room. 

The hat hit the floor with a thud.  She didn’t pick it back up though.  The message had been received.  She had actually grown fond of the hat in the short time she wore it.  She kind of felt like a badass cowgirl wearing it.  Liz started to walk off until she heard Jacob’s voice.  It was slightly muffled through the wall, but she could make out what he was saying. 

“The world is weak, soft.  We have forgotten what it is to be strong _._ ”

She pressed her ear up against the wall to listen to his speech.  Liz was smarter than this, she was.  She should have ran downstairs and hid.  That was the smart thing to do.  But Liz had forgotten about how her brain had been conditioned.  It had been weeks since she had been locked in that cage at the Chalet.  Since Jacob had last used the music box on her.  She threw all logic out the window to hear what Jacob had to say.

“You know our heroes used to be Gods?  And now our heroes are Godless.  Weak.  Feeble.  Diseased…”

The rest of his speech went on about the same.  He talked about how people today we weak and how they look up to even more pathetic leaders.  It wasn’t nothing she hadn’t heard from him a million times before.  Sometimes with Jacob it was like a light switch.  He could turn off any emotion or frustration and put on his persona.  His self-control never ceased to amaze her.

“We will cull the herd.  We will do what needs to be done…”

Liz had been stupid.  She had been sticking her nose where it didn’t belong.  It would cost her too.  She just didn’t know it yet.  She heard music playing out from the room.  When she realized what it was, she started to panic.

‘ _Onlyyyy youuuuuu…_ ’

It was too late.  Her breathing became shallow.  She started to hyperventilate.  Her legs buckled underneath her weight and her head hit the floor.  Spots clouded her vision. 

‘ _Can make this world seem right.  Onlyyy youuu can make the darkness bright…_ ’

Red was the last thing she saw before she blacked out.

...

Jacob finished making his speech to the Deputy.  The boy had only been in the mountains for a short time but he was a very large thorn in his side.  He was skinny, but compliant.  He hadn’t fought his restraints like the girl had.  The Deputy would make a good soldier.  He would be the one to kill Eli for him, if he couldn’t make his little lamb do it first.  It would be a shame if she refused to make her sacrifice when the time came.  He wouldn’t take joy in killing her if it came to that, but he would do what needed to be done.  The Deputy though, Jacob would enjoy killing him. 

He pulled out his music box and began to crank it up.  “We will cull the herd.  We will do what needs to be done.”  He opened the lid and music began to pour out of it.  The Deputy’s eyes rolled back into his head as he convulsed in the chair.  Jacob would never get tired of that.  The Whitetail Militia were cowards to him.  They could either pass his trials or they could die.  The choice was theirs.  The weak didn’t get to live.

The girl had only been through the trials twice.  He hadn’t sent her back through because he was afraid that she would fail them.  He still needed her to break the Whitetails, to break Eli.  She was no good to him dead.   Eventually though he would need to push her through the trials.  He couldn’t be soft on her forever.

The Deputy was responding to the conditioning perfectly.  Jacob set his music box on the table beside him.  The first time someone went into the hallucination they had to continue listening to the song for it to work.  Once someone was conditioned they could turn merely by hearing the first words to the song.  It only took three times for him to get a hold of someone.  _1-2-3._ That was all it took.  The third trial was the one that weeded out the weakest.  After the third time, it would become instinctual.  A lot of his soldiers made their sacrifice in the fourth trial without even thinking. 

Jacob heard a thud outside the door.  It wasn’t very loud but he heard it over the music.  He was going to go see what it was.  His work here was done anyways.  He grabbed Pratt by his shirt.  The young deputy winced.  There was fear in his eyes.  The last time Jacob was here with the girl, Pratt had left his post to go talk to her.  He had seen the way Peaches looked at Liz.  He was sweet on her.  Jacob hadn’t been happy about that.  That day he had brought the girl back to the veteran’s center.  When it was darker and she had gone to feed the judges, he went back to the Grand View.  He found Pratt and drug him into a spare room.  Jacob’s fists had collided with his face until he was bloody and sobbing.  Pratt had been a complete mess, begging for him to stop.  Jacob told him that if he left his post again, the next time he wouldn’t stop.  That the next time he would kick his teeth in until he was choking on them. 

The beating hadn’t been about Pratt leaving his post.  It had been about Liz.  Jacob didn’t like the way Pratt had been looking at the girl.  He wasn’t _jealous._ He wasn’t.  But yet that night he had beaten the shit out of Pratt until he felt better.  Jacob didn’t care about her, but that didn’t mean he wanted anyone else looking at her.  Part of Jacob couldn’t understand why Liz had ever been with a coward like him.  Pratt was a weasel.  He had sent the girl in there today to test him.  He had passed the test but that didn’t mean Jacob couldn’t mess with him a little.

His tightened his grip on Pratt’s shirt.  “Keep the music playing.  The Chosen will take you to the veteran’s center when it’s time.”  Pratt stammered out something that was the equivalent of ‘Yes sir’.  He raised his hand but didn’t hit him.  Pratt had flinched at the gesture.  The beating was probably still fresh in his mind.  His hand only patted the side of his face as a sign of a job well done.  Jacob smirked and released the pathetic man from his grasp.

Jacob strode out of the room, shutting the door behind him.  The sounds of Only You flowed out into the hall.  His foot bumped into a small figure on the floor.  He almost stepped on her.  Liz was convulsing on the floor.  She was responding to the conditioning.

‘ _Well shit._ ’ He thought.

He hadn’t meant to send her into the third trial just yet.  But the girl hadn’t been smart enough to scurry off.  She knew what happened in the chair.  It was her own fault.  Maybe Jacob had underestimated her loyalty to him.  It didn’t matter though.  She had already started the third trial.  No better time like the present.  He just hoped that she didn’t fail it.

The girl was twitching on the floor.  Her breathing was heavy and she was crying.  She did that for about a minute.  He didn’t feel sorry for her.  He had seen a thousand others before her go through the same thing.  It was interesting to watch.  To see someone fall apart.  To watch as their world crumbled around them as they fell into state of distress.  His conditioning was something only the strongest could survive.

It was her own fault she was like this though.  If she just fucked him like he had wanted, none of this would be happening.  She was all over him this morning.  She had been practically groping him.  Jacob had given her full permission to continue.  But the girl had chickened out like she always did.  He would have much rather heard her sobbing as he bent her over his desk.  He hadn’t thought much about fucking the girl until yesterday.  She was cute and entertaining enough.  He still needed her, so he wanted to have a little fun.  If she hadn’t pulled away from him, he would have fucked her until she was a screaming mess.  It would have made their arrangement so much more enjoyable for the both of them.  Unfortunately though, that didn’t happen. 

Instead Jacob got to stand over her and watch as she was sprawled out on the floor.  The girl twitched for a minute more, until all of a sudden it stopped.  Her breathing leveled out and she got up on her feet.  She was responding differently to the conditioning than the other pledges.  The first two times someone went through they were usually tied down or locked in a cage.  The third trial was when he let them loose for the first time.  Most people would run off in a rampage.  His little lamb though, was calm.  Her sobs had been silenced and her pupils were dilated.  Her eyes almost looked black.  The scared girl was gone.  All was left was a soldier, who was ready to comply.

The girl gave him a blank stare before running off.  She stormed down the stairwell.  Jacob followed her but didn’t get close enough to disturb.  He watched as she stomped across the Grand View and entered the laundry room.  That was where the weapons stash was.  She grabbed an AR-C off the shelf.  It was equipped with a silencer and a red dot sight.  She loaded the weapon with ease and put an extra magazine in her jacket.  She also clipped a few grenades to her belt.  Now armed to the teeth, she exited the room and strode out the front doors of the Grand View.

It was still bright outside.  The Whitetail Militia had been camped outside the Grand View all day.  Jacob knew that.  He wasn’t stupid.  He had ordered his men not to engage them.  As soon as he sent that call out to the Deputy he had probably went crying to Eli.  The Whitetails thought they needed the Deputy.  That he was the hero that would save the day.  He wasn’t though.  The Deputy was nothing more than a tool.  It was all part of Jacob’s plan.  He was dropping a live bomb into the heart of the resistance.  Get Eli to trust the Deputy and then use to Deputy to kill Eli. 

Jacob needed to leave the Grand View before that could happen though.  He needed the Whitetails to believe that he was unaware of their presence.  He was going to follow the girl.  It would be interesting to see what she did during the trial.  He grabbed his rifle out of his truck and flung it over his back.  She had already taken off east.  One of the judges had followed her.  She was quick, much quicker than she normally was.  The hallucination would make her go as fast as possible.  He trailed behind her through the woods.  The afternoon sun was making him sweat underneath his army jacket.  He hated doing things during the day.  It was just too damn hot. 

“Argh!”  The girl collapsed to her knees and screamed out in pain.  She had gone too long without making a kill.  She was conditioned to feel pain if she didn’t act.  With a grunt she got up and kept moving.  He followed her on foot for a while.  She came to a stop by the tree line, listening for something.  The judge followed her commands.  Judges only followed those who were worthy.  They could determine who was strong and right now his little lamb was worthy of controlling a judge. 

He heard the sounds of the car coming up the road.  She crouched down and waited for her target to come.  Not long after, a small truck emerged from around the curve.  The girl stepped out from the trees and into the road.  A stream of bullets hit the car.  The tires were shot out and the driver was injured.  The truck came to a halt before her.  The woman in the passenger seat tried to flee from the car.  She didn’t get three steps from the car before the judge attacked her.  The girl paid no attention to the woman and approached the driver.  The man had been shot in the collarbone, by her.  She approached the driver side window and her hand gripped his head.  She slammed his face into the steering wheel.  The man screamed out in pain.  He was too weak to fight back.  She could have easily shot him again, but that would have been a waste of a bullet.  The man’s face slammed into the steering wheel, over and over again.  He screamed until he choked on his own blood and died.

Jacob chuckled to himself.  “Good.  Cull the herd.”

It was impressive what his conditioning could do.  It took Liz, who was a sniveling little girl and turned her into a killer.  There was no remorse in the girl’s eyes.  She killed without mercy and hunted without rest.  The conditioning gave her one goal; to train, to kill, and to sacrifice.  It had taken him years to perfect it.  Countless people had died for him to get it right.  Now that it worked he could break anyone he wanted.

He followed the girl for miles.  She made quick work of a fisherman by the river bank.  Pieces of his body were floating in the river from the grenade blast.  The man didn’t even know what hit him.  She was deep in the hallucination by now.  The conditioning would force her to find a final target.  For this trial it didn’t have to be anyone of importance.  She was trained to kill anyone wearing the Whitetail Militia logo.  Any of the rebels would be satisfactory for her to complete the trial.

Eventually, she came across a group of three Whitetails.  One man was playing a guitar and singing.  There was also a couple dancing.  It was a sweet scene.  If it had only been him out there he might have left them alone, but his little lamb would not.  She would do anything to make the hallucination stop.  She didn’t have any other choice, it was do or die.  Her footsteps slowed as she approached them.  The judge followed her lead.  She knelt down by a tree and lined up her shot.  He saw her hold her breath before pulling the trigger.  The man who had been playing the guitar fell over dead. The woman dancing screamed at the sight.  The couple took off into the other direction, barely missing the hail of bullets. 

He watched as the girl snarled at the two targets she had missed.  She flung her rifle over her back and took off after them.  The chase wouldn’t end until either both of them were dead or she was.  He sprinted after the girl.  The leaves under his feet crunched as her trailed her.  He loved the hunt but this was different.  It wasn’t even his hunt, it was hers.  He was just a mere spectator to the destruction she left in her path.  His little lamb was so different this way.  Her eyes didn’t have the same sadness.  Sarcastic quips didn’t come out of her mouth to insult him.  Her small hands that had touched him this morning, were only used for killing.  She was a mindless soldier.  His soldier.

The Whitetails had managed to run for a while with the girl at their heels.  It was only a matter of time until she caught up with them though.  She had taken a few shots at them but had missed.  The chase had taken them all the way back to the veteran’s center.  They were about a hundred yards from the entrance.  What a stroke of luck.  The girl eventually managed to hit the woman.  The bullets pierced her skull and she fell over dead.  The other Whitetail had continued to sprint through the woods.  The girl looked determined to end it though.  That man was her final target.  The faceless body at the end of the hallucination.  The kill that would give her freedom.  She finally caught up to the man and tackled him.  He had tried to reach for a gun but before he could the girl pulled out a knife and stabbed him. 

‘ _Where the hell did she get a knife?_ ’

The rebel’s eyes had already rolled into the back of his head but she continued to stab him.  The metal blade collided with the dead man several times.  Blood had covered her hands and splattered her face.  She let out a scream.  It wasn’t a scream of pain though.  It was a battle cry.  The girl had collapsed on the ground right after.  She killed her final target.  She was free from the hallucination for now.

Jacob was impressed.  He hadn’t expected for her to pass the third trial, let alone take out six Whitetails.  She had blown through the trial with ease.  If she made her sacrifice, she would have a place in his army.  He would put her to work doing something more important than following him around.  He secretly hoped that she would make the sacrifice.  If she did they could become more _acquainted_.  That scream she made had him a little harder than he’d like to admit.  She looked a lot better dirty and bloody than she had in that damn dress yesterday. 

He walked over to inspect her.  The black had faded away as her eyelids closed.  She was curled up on the ground.  Most people collapsed from exhaustion after a trial, she was no different.  She didn’t appear to be injured.  He thought about checking her stitches to make sure they hadn’t popped.  He didn’t want to yank her pants down while she unconscious though.  He gathered up all her weapons instead.  He did not want her to have a loaded gun, let alone a grenade.  He didn’t need her trying to blow him up.  He stomped back to the veteran’s center with the judge at his heels.

He left the girl there lying in the dirt.  She was fine.  She would wake up eventually and when she did, she would find her way back home.

****


	8. Rot Here In This Gate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The strong don't cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for: hurt/angst, violence, mentions of death/suicide

The forest was cold and dark.  The nighttime winds ripped through the trees.  Liz’s head throbbed as she started to stir.  Her body ached and her left leg was on fire.  The air around her smelled like iron.  The last thing she remembered was collapsing on the floor of the Grand View.  Jacob would probably have an earful for her for being so stupid.  She had been stupid.  Her curiosity had gotten the better of her.

Her vision was still cloudy but it was slowly coming back to her.  Her fingers curled into coarse grass.  That wasn’t right.  Why was she outside?  She pushed herself up on her forearms and rubbed her eyes.  When she pulled her hands away she saw red.  She sat up in a panic.  She stared at her hands.  They were stained with deep red blood that was already dry.  She checked herself for injuries but saw none.  Her hands went to steady herself but bumped into something.  A dead body was laying right beside her.  The man had been stabbed several times.  A knife was sticking up out of his chest.  Blood and guts oozed out from where his stomach used to be. 

Liz screamed.  The high pitched noised carried through the stillness of the woods.  She felt sick to her stomach.  She got to her feet and ran.  There was no destination in her mind, she just had to get out of there.  Her feet stomped against the forest floor and her breathing was winded.  The injury in her leg slowed her down.  She didn’t make it very far before stumbling into a pool of water.  She collapsed onto her hands and knees.  Seeing that man had made her queasy.  She emptied the contents of her stomach into the pond.

The pond was directly in front of the veteran’s center.  She somehow ended up miles away from the place she had passed out.  That couldn’t be possible unless she had ran.  She had collapsed in the Grand View during the day and woke up in the forest at night.  There was only one explanation.  Jacob’s conditioning was real.  It wasn’t just a trippy hallucination.  That man had been stabbed.  The only person who could have done it was her.  When she was killing people in the hallucination, she was actually killing people in the real world.  She was a murderer.  Tears fell down her face.  She let out another scream.  She had gutted an innocent man all because of that damn song.  It hadn’t been in self-defense this time either.  Jacob had conditioned her to be a killer.  She was screwed up.  She couldn’t even count on her own mind anymore. 

Liz was right about Jacob.  She couldn’t trust him.  She wanted to though, so badly.  He had looked at her this morning like he wanted her.  Like he wanted them to take things further.  She had pulled away from him in fear.  Fear of actually caring about that man.  He was her kidnaper.  That was all he did, kidnap people and kill them.  He believed that what he did was right.  That by sacrificing those who were weak he was somehow fixing the human race.  She can’t believe that she almost bought into Jacob’s bullshit.  Culling the herd didn’t save anyone, it was only the slaughter of innocent people.  He was just as crazy as everyone said he was.

She was angry, at herself and at Jacob.  She felt stupid for thanking him yesterday.  He turned her into a killer and she had smiled about it.  Even kissed him on the cheek too.  All the while, he was planning this.  There was no fighting him.  If she didn’t do what he wanted, he would get rid of her.  She curled up into a ball on the ground.  The water she sat in was about two inches deep.  It was freezing to the touch.  It soaked her pants and the tails of her trench coat.  She should have been cold but she wasn’t.  Her mind was in a panic.  She furiously tried to scrub the blood from her hands.  It didn’t come off.  Her hands were stained red with the shame of her misplaced trust. 

For the first time since she had gotten back to Hope County, she let herself sob.  She didn’t want to be strong.  She just wanted to cry.  Her spirit was broken.  Any hope she had about surviving or being rescued was gone.  She was going to rot away sitting in this pond.  At least if she was dead she wouldn’t hurt anyone else.

Her sobs were loud in the quiet woods.  Anyone at the veteran’s center could have heard her meltdown, even Jacob.  It didn’t matter though.  Her screams were no different than the countless others in Hope County that were tortured and killed.  She was only another victim of the cult, no one important.  Jacob had broken her like he had done to thousands of others.  She wasn’t important or special.  Despite what Faith had said, he didn’t respect her.  He would never care about her.  She could still hear Jacob’s voice in her head.  Every time she had failed the hallucination he had spat out a new insult.

_You are weak.  Try harder.  Do it again.  No.  You are meat.  Again.  You’re no soldier._

She was just weak.  Weak.  So weak.  She was meat.  She just sat in the pond slowly rocking back and forth.  There was nothing recognizable about her.  Yesterday she was somewhat sane.  She was planning an escape and she could function.  The conditioning made her turn on a dime.  It broke her.  Jacob had broken her.  In her distress, she softly sang the lyrics to _Build a Castle_.

“Oh Lord, the strong don’t cry.  Gonna open up the door when the morning light shines in.  When the light shines in…”  The words were choked by her sobs.  It didn’t comfort her at all.  The strong don’t cry, but she wasn’t strong.  There was no morning light coming to save her.

After a while, the tears stopped falling down her face.  She stopped shaking.  The water had grown cold around her.  She would have to get up eventually.  She didn’t want to though.  She would rather sit here forever than have to see Jacob ever again.  Her breathing slowly leveled out.  She sang that lyric over and over again to herself.

_The strong don’t cry._

The water she sat in was a sick mixture of bile, blood, and tears.  The only thing that wasn’t floating in the water was her mind.  That was what she really lost today.  She pushed herself up to her feet.  Her bottom half was soaking wet.  Her boots squished as she made her way out of the water. 

The veteran’s center was still brightly lit.  There was something going on there at all hours of the day.  There was always a judge to be fed, a soldier to be trained, or a civilian to be tortured.  Jacob would be there by now.  She just hoped that she wouldn’t have to see him.

There was no point in running off.  She didn’t have to strength to run away.  She was injured and broken.  Even if she did, Jacob would find her.  There was nowhere she could run where he couldn’t track her down.  She understood that now.  When he broke someone, he got control over them.  He had done the same thing to Pratt.  Her ex-boyfriend was completely under Jacob’s thumb.  The bruises on his face were enough proof.

She carried herself back to the front gate of the veteran’s center.  She wiped the tears from her face but it was still red and puffy.  There was no hiding her meltdown.  Everyone at the veteran’s center had probably heard it.  She didn’t give a shit though.  There were two guards at the gate.  They both gave her a confused look at her appearance.  Tear streaks were still on her face.  Blood covered her hands and she was dripping wet.  She was a complete mess.

“Where’ve you been all day Palmer?”  It was a stupid question.  She had been sitting by the pond most likely all day.  The Chosen soldier didn’t look the brightest though.  Just because Jacob’s soldiers were the strongest, it didn’t make them the smartest. 

“Indisposed.”  She didn’t spare a glance their way as she walked by.  Her wet boots stomped furiously against the dirt road.  The snarl on her face clashed with the red puffy cheeks.  She tried so hard to cover up her emotions but failed.  She wasn’t like Jacob.  She couldn’t just turn it off like he could.  When she was out of earshot from the guards, the anger faded from her face and she was left with brokenness. 

It was time to feed the judges by now.  She had fed them every morning and night since getting to the veteran’s center.  Watching them turn from wolves to judges was gruesome to see.  It was almost like her situation.  She was once a sniveling wolf, but now she was a judge.  Something that was unhinged, who would kill at a mere command.  Before they became killers though, they had to be broken.  Things that were broken followed orders without question.  The judges snapped at her feet when she walked by, hungry to be fed.  She needed the work right now.  Work made sense.  It calmed her down.  It was the only thing that kept her grounded. 

Everything at the veteran’s center was fed with meat.  Bowls of barely cooked meat were given to the prisoners, wolves and people included.  What was in these mystery bowls of meat?  It looked like ground up beef but the cattle ranches were in Holland Valley, not the mountains.  It would have made more sense to feed everything dog food.  The canned monstrosity was cheaper and it would be more effective at breaking people.  The cult didn’t deal in financial terms though.  They just took everything from everyone.  She didn’t bother putting bliss in the meat.  She just slopped food in the silver bowls.  The poor animals deserved to not starve for one night. 

“You okay?”  The voice was male.  No one should ever ask her something like that here.  It would be viewed as sign of weakness.  Only the weak were concerned with their feelings.  She turned to see her wolf partner, Marcus.  He wore a concerned look on his face.  The old man had been a comfort to her.  He would always listen to her chitchat and didn’t judge her.  He reminded her a lot of Eli.

God, she missed Eli so much.  The last time she had seen him was before she moved.  Before she left he had given her a can of mace and a swiss army knife.  The former was to put in her purse to protect herself.  He had tried to buy her a handgun, but she hadn’t been old enough.  She technically wasn’t old enough to carry a pistol.  She was still twenty, but the doomsday cult didn’t really follow US laws.  The multitool had been for emergencies.  Eli had always said that if all you had in the woods was rope, water, your wits, and a swiss army knife; you could survive anything.  Anything probably hadn’t included a crazy cult at the time.  Eli had always been a bit of a survivalist back in the day.  She never thought that he would have been right.

She wiped away a tear from her face and nostalgia from her thoughts.  “No.”  Her voice was soft but broken.  She wasn’t okay.  The meltdown she just had in the pond was proof of that.

“You just have to be strong.  He wants a sacrifice.  Just make it and he’ll leave you alone.”  It was solid advice.  That had partly been her plan, but she couldn’t do it.  She wasn’t going to sacrifice anything to Jacob.  If it came to that he would have to kill her.  The sick bastard would probably enjoy it too.

The metal bowls clattered against the ground as she threw them in the cages.  Her partner said nothing to the blissless meat.  The wolves happily ate it up.  They had probably been starving all day.

“He won’t.  I’m weak.  We know what happens to the weak.”  The words had felt wrong in her mouth, but she believed them.  She wouldn’t make it through what he had planned for her.  There was no getting out of it.  There was no surviving it.  There was just counting down the days until her demise. 

Marcus gave her a sad smile before leaving her alone.  She saw that he had wanted to help, but there was nothing he could do.  If he stuck his neck out for her, helped her escape.  The cult would kill him.  She didn’t blame him.  The old man didn’t owe her anything.  He had done enough by just being there for her.

She finished feeding the rest of the wolves.  There would be consequences for messing up the bliss schedule, no doubt.  Her body was too tired to care though.  It was late at night by now.  She just wanted to go to bed.  When she was little and she was upset, she would climb under the covers.  The covers had felt like they would keep her safe from anything.  Her mom would come and unbury her from them.  She would sing her a song until she fell asleep.  Liz needed that so badly right now.  It had been such a long time since she had known comfort.  Her mom was probably dead though.  Her dad too.  Liz was as good as dead.  The Palmers were just a bunch of dead people.

She rounded the corner of the cages, with a lumpy mattress calling her name.  A calloused hand gripped her arm.  It was a grip that she would recognize anywhere.  It belonged to the last person she wanted to see.  She whipped around to face him.  The back of her hand made a smacking sound when it collided with his face.  Jacob barely even flinched.  A sharp pain went through her hand even though she hadn’t hit him that hard.  Damn that man, even his jaw was rock solid.  A scowl crossed his face.  His hand wrapped around her throat and he slammed her back into one of the cages.

The metal bars imprinted into her skull.  She let out a strangled cry.  Spots formed in her vision once again.  His meaty hand covered her entire throat.  Her hands wrapped around his as she tried to peel him off her. 

“We back to this, little lamb?”  His voice sounded more frustrated than angry.

His grip was tight and partially cut off her airway.  He towered over her.   The lion had finally caught the gazelle.  He had her trapped between his teeth.  All he had to do was snap her neck and finish the kill.  Her hands clawed at his arm but the redheaded wall in front of her didn’t budge.  He only tightened his grip on her throat.

“Let me… go.”  The words were barely audible and shaky.  Tears threatened to spill over her cheeks.  The strong don’t cry.  The strong don’t cry.  The strong don’t cry.  He cheeks were still red but she didn’t want to cry in front of him.  She slapped at him but it was useless.  He had control over her once again.

It was wrong, what was happening.  24 hours ago their conversations were gentle and light.  Her lips had pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.  It had been so comforting.  Now here they stood, ready to rip each other’s throats out.  The monster and the thorn in his side.  Did he and Miller have days like this?  Days when they couldn’t tolerate the others bullshit.  There was no way to know.  The only thing she could hold onto now is that she hated him.  She wanted a reason to kill him.  

“So, you pissed at me again huh?  You were pretty fond of me this morning.”  He was mocking her.  He was referring to her groping his chest this morning.  She had been fond of him, a bit too much.  It didn’t matter now.  There was no forgiving what he did to her.  The only way it ended was if he died or she did.

She gritted her teeth.  Her leg thrusted up and kneed him in the crotch.  Jacob let out a huff and slightly stumbled.  The pain was all over his face.  It was the only place on him that was vulnerable. 

“Shut up.” She spat.

He regained his grip on her throat.  He slightly picked her up from the ground and slammed her back into the cage.  Once again her head smacked against the metal frame.  A whimper made its way past her lips.  The back of her head was bleeding. 

He leaned in close so he was growling in her ear.  “I usually don’t like to hit women but you needed to be put in your place, sweetheart.”

She could feel his beard hair scraping against her neck.  There weren’t any thoughts running through her head when she had hit him, twice.  There was only rage.  A few days ago she would have thought about the consequences.  Now, she just wanted to see him suffer.

Jacob pulled away from her ear.  His hand was still wrapped around her throat, but not as tight as before.  His body was pressed up against hers, keeping her pinned there. 

“I didn’t mean to send you back in there just yet, but you did good.  You passed, by the skin of your teeth.  You have to be smarter though.  It’s the only thing you got going for ya’.”  He wasn’t wrong.  It was her own fault that she had heard that song today.  But he would have forced her through it eventually.  He always got what he wanted.  What he said about her being smart, surprised her a little.  Jacob didn’t look like a man to value intelligence.  Most of his Chosen were strong but, dumb as bricks.  She didn’t question him on it.  It wouldn’t matter when he killed her.

“Just let me go.  Please…”  She was begging him.

“Little lamb all you gotta do is make your sacrifice.  You’re ready for it.  Do this thing for me and it gets a whole lot easier.”

Her sacrifice.  To pass through the gate she had to sacrifice the thing that was keeping her here.  What was preventing her from fully accepting the word of The Father into her heart?  Her father, mother, brother, or her uncle?  That was what a note in the Grand View had said anyways.  It was all bullshit.  Jacob didn’t even preach religion.  The sacrifice was just to break people.  It was to make sure that they were fully devoted to _Jacob_ , not The Father. 

Her sacrifice was Eli.  Even if her family was in Hope County right now, he would still want her to kill Eli.  She wouldn’t do it though.  She wouldn’t kill her uncle for Jacob.

“I’m not sacrificing anything for you.  You can go to hell!”

In that moment, her fate had been sealed.  Counting down the days until she died suddenly became a lot easier.  It wasn’t a ‘what-if’ anymore.  She looked at Jacob and she knew that she was as good as dead.  This was what Miller must have felt like in that desert.  Stumbling around, lost, with no one in the world but Jacob Seed for company.  Miller had seen that look in Jacob’s eyes and knew that Jacob would kill him.  Jacob was going to kill her too.  She knew that.  She had always known…

Jacob sighed.  “I was afraid you were gonna say that.”

His hand fisted into her ponytail.  There was nothing gentle about the way he snatched her from the cage.  She saw a patch of blood where her head had rested on the metal bars.  His grip stayed firm in her hair as he drug her away.  The only thing that was keeping her supported was his hand on her.  If it hadn’t been there she would have collapsed into the dirt. 

The other cultists on duty just stared.  They watched as their leader dragged the small girl across the grounds.  She was an example, just like the resistance man he had killed this morning.

Her eyes fell on Marcus.  The old man looked heartbroken.  There was nothing he could do to help her.  All he could do was watch.  He gave her a small wave as she went by.  A parting farewell to the girl he had known for a short time.  Liz knew what that meant.  It meant that she would never see him again. 

Liz didn’t want to die.  There are so many things she had never done.  She never finished college, never had a real job, never been out of the country, never had sex, and she’d never been in love.  There were so many more ‘nevers’ in her life.  All things that she would never get to experience.  Jacob was going to kill her tonight.  She had to accept that.  She had to.  Her death had been sealed ever since she had ever set foot in Hope County again.  She just wished she could say goodbye to her family.

Her feet ached.  Sharp pains went through her every time Jacob yanked her hair.  He was leading her straight to her doom.  Everyone on the grounds was watching them.  She could feel dozens of pairs of eyes staring at her.  She just stared at the ground.  She didn’t fight him.  There was no use in fighting. 

She didn’t cry anymore.  She didn’t want to give him that satisfaction.  When he killed her she was going to be strong.  And besides, the strong don’t cry.  The strong don’t cry.

He drug her all the way to the loading dock.  They were headed somewhere.  He was going to make an event out of her death.  Probably film it and send it to Eli.  So he would know what Jacob had done to her.  So he would know that he had failed.  When they got to his truck, he picked her up by her legs and threw her in the back of the truck.  Her body slammed into it.  The metal bed of the truck was cold.  Her bottom half dripped water onto the metal. 

Jacob didn’t say anything else to her.  He climbed into his truck and slammed the door.  Where was he taking her?  It had to be somewhere close.  He wasn’t one to waste time.  She didn’t want to think about how he would kill her.  She curled up into a ball, letting the vibrations of the running truck calm her down. 

The stars shone bright in the sky.  The twinkling lights looked like beacons of hope against the blackness.  They were so far away but felt so close.  It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.  If the stars were the last thing she saw, that would be okay.  Despite all the thing she had never done, Liz had lived a good life.  Her family would always love her.  Her uncle would always love her.  She wouldn’t get to talk to Eli again, but it was fine.  She remembered all the times they had when she was growing up.  All the fishing trips, campouts, and softball games.  Those were the best times of her life.  They were good memories. 

Eden’s Gate couldn’t take those away from her.  No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t take away the love that she had.  Jacob had broken her, but he hadn’t changed her.  She never gave in to the cult’s lies and deceit.  That should count for something.  Liz was still herself.  At least she could die with some dignity.  She wanted to die right there in that truck, looking up at the stars.

She closed her eyes and said a prayer.  Asking for peace and forgiveness.  She hadn’t wanted to kill that man by the lake.  It was something that was forced upon her.  Hopefully she would be forgiven.  Her thoughts flitted through memories of her family.  Her body sunk further into the truck bed.  Between the stars and the swaying of the truck, she was finally at peace.  

The truck eventually came to a halt.  It was time.  She was ready to die.  She accepted it.  She heard the slam of the truck door and the creak of the tailgate being opened.

“Just please make it quick, okay Jacob?  I don’t want to feel anything.”  Her voice was soft but desperate.  It was the least he could do for her.  That was all she wanted from him, nothing more. 

“I didn’t bring you here to kill ya’ little lamb.”

Her head perked up at the coarse voice.  Could that be true?  Anyone who refused to make the sacrifice was gotten rid of, she should be no exception.  She searched his face for conformation.  Jacob was telling the truth.  Liz wasn’t going to die tonight.  She should have felt relieved.  She was relieved, but she was also _lost_. 

“But… I…”

“Just shut your goddamn mouth for once and get out of the truck.” 

She followed his orders.  Arguing with him was futile.  She wasn’t going to be killed tonight, that meant something.  There was a reason that she was going to get to live.  Maybe those stars weren’t to lull her to death, but to give her hope.  God wanted her to live another day. 

Her body ached as she climbed out of the truck.  Jacob didn’t offer to help her.  His gaze was cold.  There was no pity in his eyes as he looked her up and down.  Bruises had already started to form on her neck.  Bruises that were given to her by him.  They weren’t the fun kind of bruises either.  She had taken a hell of a beating. 

Liz and Staci finally had something in common.  In high school he had told her that they were too different.  That they wanted different things.  That they shared no interests.  They had all been excuses.  He just hadn’t had the balls to tell her to her face that he didn’t like her.  Now they both had gotten the shit kicked out of them by Jacob.  It would be a hell of a conversation starter.

Jacob grabbed her shoulders and spun her around.  She didn’t want his hands on her but didn’t fight it.  He might throw her into something else.  She couldn’t survive another beating this week.  He lifted up her blonde ponytail to check to back of her head.  Why did he give a shit if she was injured?  He was the one who threw her into that damn cage.  His thumb ran over the bloody tissue.  The touch was gentle but it still made her wince in pain.

“You’re fine.  Keep close.” 

Fine, that was one way to put it.  If being brainwashed, beaten, and falsely led to her death was fine.  Yeah Liz was fucking fine.  By Jacob’s standards she could fight off an army in her condition.  That man was infuriating.

Jacob walked away from his truck.  She ran off after him and took in the sight of their current location.  She had never been there before.  It was a place she had only heard of in stories.  It was a large concrete structure, embedded into the mountain.  Huge floodlights lit up the compound.  There were at least a dozen Chosen guards on duty.  Two metal doors stuck out of the concrete.  The great protector.  It was Jacob’s Armory. 

Jacob’s Gate was the second gate to Eden.  John’s was the first.  He was in charge of recruiting, that was where most cultists would go.  His was the ‘easiest’ to get into.  All you had to do was say _yes_.  Yes to getting your skin cut off and forced to serve a crazy man.  The cultists were so fucking stupid.  Jacob’s was the second, and arguably the hardest.  He only let in the strongest.  The trials were not something to be underestimated.  The third gate was Faith’s.  Faith’s was where the most disobedient would go.  There they would live in a state of ‘bliss’.  More like just a bunch of brain dead zombies.  None of the gates sounded pleasant to Liz.

All of the guards snapped to attention when Jacob walked by.  The cultists didn’t salute him but they did a version of one.  Jacob was the herald of the Whitetail Mountains, but he was more than that.  He was a general.  A general of the largest army in Montana.  Too bad most generals were assholes, and he fit the bill.

Some of the guards were staring at her too.  What was it with these damn cultists looking at her?  It probably had something to do with her appearance.  She didn’t know what she looked like, but she had a feeling it wasn’t good.  Her boots were still wet from her breakdown in the pond.  They squished as she followed Jacob. 

The metal doors of the bunker looked strong enough to withstand a nuclear blast.  That was what it was designed for.  Hopefully the bunker would never be put to use.  Above the door read ‘ _YOU ARE MEAT_ ’ in black paint.  It was a subtle reminder about where her place was.  As if Jacob growling it into her ear wasn’t enough. 

Jacob took his necklace off and stuck a key into the control panel.  So that’s what that was.  It was his bunker key.  What was the rabbit’s foot for though?  There was probably some story behind it, she was just too afraid to ask.  The metal door opened with a buzz.  He took the key out and placed it around his neck.  Once they stepped through, he shut the door behind them.  They were sealed off from the outside world.  No one got in or out of there without that bunker key.  She was trapped down there until Jacob said she could leave. 

Inside was a stairwell.  Two cult flags hung on both sides and ‘ _CULL THE HERD_ ’ was written in the center.  She was really sick of that damn catchphrase.  She followed him down the stairs.  Each flight she went down it became colder.  It felt like this place was sucking the life out of her.  The further she went down, the less human she was.  Reality ceased to exist down here.  This was “Eden”.  Her feet thumped down three flights of stairs until they reached another door.  Above this one it read ‘ _SACRIFICE_ ’.  Chills went down her spine.  Refusing to make her sacrifice was what got her in this situation in the first place.

There were several other doors through that one.  She was only at the front of the bunker but that place was already a maze.  She kept close to Jacob as he waltzed through the barracks.  Many Chosen were already asleep for the night, but the ones who were awake were happy to see him.  They murmured as he walked by.

“Our protector!”

“Sir.”

“Sacrifice the weak!”

Jacob would nod to his soldiers.  He would chitchat with some of them, but it wasn’t friendly small talk.  He would ask them for status reports, supply amounts, and things like that.  She didn’t bother listening.  The words went in one ear and out the other.  She only focused on sticking close to him.  The last thing she wanted was to get hit again.

They rounded the corner from the barracks.  Boxes of supplies and ammunition were stacked everywhere.  All stolen supplies to prepare for the collapse.  There were even sandbags stacked up as barriers with .50 cals mounted on top.

‘. _50 cals in your bunker too?  Really Jacob? ?  No one is going to get in here.’_ She thought.

The florescent lights were the only thing staving off the darkness.  The long metal halls of Jacob’s Armory were truly terrifying.  Despite the signs mounted to the walls, it would be very easy to get lost.  Being trapped down there might be a fate worse than death.

They made it to the mess hall where there was a large kitchen and a bunch of tables.  There were a few analog TV’s playing one of Jacob’s propaganda videos.  They had played it at the chalet.  It was a simple video.  Jacob sat down in front of the camera and talked.  But it just seemed, wrong.  So unlike him.  The man in the video had a raspy voice and had a sickly cough. 

‘ _My brothers.  You know why we train.  We train so that it becomes instinctual…_ ’

The rest of the video goes on about like that.  She had heard it a few times before.  He didn’t look angry in the video but he lacked his bravado.  There was no confidence in his words, no calculated gaze, it was just monotone.  They were just words, like even he didn’t believe them.

A few cultists were sitting at the tables.  They were eating the same MRE’s and basic shit that she ate.  The cult stole from everyone.  You would think that they would eat good food but they didn’t.  Jacob the survivalist wanted them to eat shitty food because that would make them ‘strong’.

Liz just trailed behind Jacob.  She was his little shadow, always following, always taking orders.  She just stared at the back of his head.  His hair only sat on the top of his head, the rest was smooth and hairless.  She knew that.  She had seen him a million times before but it still looked different.  What would Jacob look like with long hair, like Joseph?  Crazy, the things that go through someone’s head during stressful situations.  It was a little better than looking around.  There were horrors in this bunker that she didn’t want to know about.

They walked until they came across a sermon.  There were a few potted flowers and cult insignias on the walls.  A few cultists were sitting in chairs around a podium.  Jacob led her to a chair on the far end.

He pointed to it.  “Sit.  Learn something.” 

Liz nodded.  She didn’t look up at him but she could hear his footsteps as he walked away.  One of Jacob’s VIPs stood at the podium.  He was shirtless and had ugly tattoos across his chest.  The shrine behind him was to The Father.  There was a portrait of him with a plaque above it that read ‘ _WORSHIP_ ’.  Almost as if it was an order.  The seven deadly sins were painted on the inside of the metal tube: _Pride_ , _Envy_ , _Gluttony_ , _Lust_ , _Greed_ , _Sloth_ , and _Wrath_.

What would her sin be?  It’s never something that she had thought about before.  She went to church but they never talked about stuff like that.  Eden’s Gate wasn’t even really a religion.  They talked about God but none of them really worshiped God.  They only worshiped Joseph.  Joseph was only a man though.  If he could turn water into wine, or come back from the dead she would worship him too.  In his book he stated that he had only heard the voice of God twice.  Twice.  The cultists were willing to die for him because he thought that he thought he saw a prophesy twice.  Both times Joseph had been under distress.  He had probably made it up in his head to keep himself breathing. 

The Cult VIP was preaching about the usual cult bullshit.

“The collapse is upon us brothers and sisters but we are ready.  The Father had prepared us for this moment.  Brother Jacob had prepared us for this moment.  Blessed be those who have prepared us.  If we…”

That was about all Liz could handle.  She tuned him out.  Joseph was wrong about the end of the world anyways.  Liz read the bible before, she knew what she was talking about.  When the rapture came, all of God’s followers living and dead would be called up to him.  If Joseph worshiped God, ya know the correct way, that means he and his followers would be called up on the rapture day.  So there would be no point in having a bunker, they would all be in heaven.  Then on Earth there would be the seven years of trials and trouble, where non-believers would be judged.  After that would be the 1000 years in peace, where the followers of Jesus would live in a Garden like Eden.  It was like Joseph made up his own religion.  He took parts of different parts of theology and made The Project of Eden’s Gate.  The cultists were so damn stupid.

It was strange though, sitting there.  Liz had expected to be dead by now.  She had known it was coming.  Jacob had been so close to wringing her neck or putting a bullet in her skull.  She had accepted that she was going to die, but there she sat.  It was like she wasn’t even living her own life anymore.  Elizabeth Palmer was dead and she was just a spirit living in her body.

“Let us finish in prayer.”

That was her chance.  There had to some other way out of the bunker right?  Eli made this bunker.  He wouldn’t have dumb enough to only make one exit.  Unless, that was what Jacob had wanted.  Something in this bunker would help her, she just had to find it.  And besides, she didn’t need to stick around to pray.  God had already answered her prayers today. 

When the cultists closed their eyes for the prayer, she slowly slipped away.  Her footsteps were quiet.  The hallway before her was long and dark.  She didn’t see any cultists but she still had to be careful.  Liz took her hair out of the ponytail so it was in her face and pulled her red bandana up to her nose.  It was kind of cliché to change her appearance but it made her feel a little better.  Hopefully someone wouldn’t recognize her.

Ever since that night in the cabin, Liz hadn’t tried to run.  There hadn’t been a point because she had wanted to live.  Accepting that you were going to die uncomplicated things.  In death, there was only one option and one end game.  Now that she was going to live for the time being, she didn’t know what to do.

There were a few more .50 cals mounted along the walls.  If someone ever broke in here they would be in for a hell of shitshow.  There were also a few targets scattered about.  Even if the collapse came, they would still have to train.  She kept tiptoeing down the hall.  It was completely void of cultists, that was strange.  After walking a few yards she saw a sign that said ‘CONTROL ROOM’. 

If she was going to get out of Jacob’s Gate, that would be a good place to check.  There had to be a lock release or a map in there.  Even if there was something in there, it didn’t mean that she would know how to use it.  She had to try though.  She didn’t want to be stuck in this Gate forever. 

There was light coming from a room at the end of the hall.  That was it.  The signs on the wall confirmed her suspicions.  She slowly creeped up to the doorframe.  Liz peeked her head around it to see a tall redheaded soldier.

‘ _Fucking hell!_ ’

She sighed.  That was where Jacob had went.  It made perfect sense that he would be in the control room.  It did, but Liz was too frustrated to think straight.  That man had a way of messing up her plans every time.  Her body sunk back into the metal wall.

“You really don’t know how to follow orders, do you?” 

Jacob knew she was there.  His voice sounded amused though, not angry.  She stepped around the doorframe and removed her mask.  The room was small but packed to the ceiling with electronics.  He was bent over the control panel in the middle of the room.  He hadn’t even looked back at her.  Three flat screen TV’s were mounted on the front wall.  They all flashed up the Eden’s Gate logo.  The bright light hurt her eyes.  There were also about a dozen analog TV’s stacked on shelves.  A few of them showed prisoner footage.  The lowest levels of Jacob’s armory was the most horrifying.  That was where they tortured people.  About three of the screens showed Jacob’s training speech she saw earlier. 

All of the other screens showed _her_.

‘ _The weak were preyed upon by the strong.  But now the new world has evolved.  Now the lamb does not fear the wolf.  The lamb parades itself around instead of hiding from their predators.’_

It was the footage from her first time in the Grand View, when she had gotten captured.  She watched as Jacob circled the poor girl in the video.  The girl in the chair was shaking in fear.  Tears formed in her hazel eyes and mascara ran down her face.  The camera angle switched when Jacob drug her closer to him.  He leaned in close to her.

‘ _If they want to survive the weak must become strong.  The lamb will be turned into a wolf or their bones will thrown to the wolves.’_

Elizabeth Palmer had been whimpering in that chair.  She bellowed in fear at Jacob.  He only smirked at her cowardice.  He got up and addressed the camera.

‘ _These so called Whitetails that try to threaten our way of life, will have everything taken from them.  Even those that they are closest to.  The weak have no place in the new world.  The collapse is coming and we’ll be ready.  This is the will of The Father.’_

The screens went to static for a moment and began to replay the message.

‘ _The world was once owned by the strong.  The weak were preyed upon by the strong…’_

That girl had once been her.  Just a normal girl who had been confused, afraid, and thrust into the arms of Jacob Seed.  She wasn’t that girl though, not anymore.  Elizabeth Palmer was dead, she was just the ghost of her former self. 

Tears began to well up in her eyes at the sight.  “What the… hell?  How often does this play?”

“It plays on a loop.  All day long.  Anyone in the Whitetail Mountains with a TV can pick it up.” 

She let out a choked sob.  “So that’s why everyone stares at me.”  All sorts of cultists had stared at her ever since she had gotten to the veteran’s center.  People would murmur as she walked by.  That’s why that resistance woman recognized her face today.

“It’s not because I’m with you or because I’m Eli’s niece.  It’s because of this.  I’m the sniveling girl from your goddamn video!”  She was furious.  She had known that Jacob had been using her.  But knowing something and seeing it for yourself were two different things.

“I don’t know why you’re so upset, little lamb.  You know your purpose.”  He still didn’t turn to face her.  He kept busy with what he had been doing.

Her purpose was to be a trophy.  She had done a hell of a job at it, some things without her knowledge.  She was pissed.  Even the deer head on the wall deserved to fight back against the hunter.  Jacob wasn’t going to use her anymore. 

Liz charged forward and snatched his pistol from the holster.  She jammed the gun into the base of his skull.  She stood on her tiptoes and grabbed his bunker key.  She pulled on the necklace until it was tight around his throat.

“You’re going to give me this bunker key.  And I’m gonna walk out of here.”

Jacob hadn’t flinched when she rammed the gun into his skull.  He only sighed.  The soldier was always two steps ahead of her.  He had probably seen this coming from a mile away.

“Honey, it’s cute when you get all riled up but can we not do this right now?  I’ve got work to do.”

She pulled the rope tighter around his neck.  “Give me the key.”

“Or what you’ll shoot me?”

Static came over the radio on the control panel.  “Jacob, you okay?  What’s going on?”

Jacob had been talking to someone over the radio when she put a gun to the back of his head.  She couldn’t have been more stupid.

“Yeah I’m okay Ramirez.  Nothing I can’t handle.”

Ramirez was the man she saw on her first day of training.  He had brought out the prisoner that Jacob had wanted her to kill.  Ramirez was pretty high up in Jacob’s army.  He was never at the veteran’s center though.  He was Jacob’s right hand man.  He got free reign to do whatever he wanted.  Jacob clearly trusted him enough to take care of things.

He turned off his radio.  “If you’re going to kill someone honey; you need to keep your head up, eyes open, and your finger on the trigger.”

Liz couldn’t believe it.  She stood there ready to kill him and he was giving her advice on how to do it.  “If you don’t give me this goddamn key I’m going to blow your brains out all over that console.”

He slowly turned to face her.  She kept her hand wrapped around the key and jammed the gun under his chin.  He raised his hands slightly to mock her.  He wasn’t afraid of her though.  The smirk on his face was proof.  “Go ahead.  You think I give a shit if I die?  I told you what my purpose was.”

She jammed the gun further under his chin.  “You think I won’t?”

He chuckled.  “I know you won’t.  You kill me and my Chosen storm this control room.  You won’t be able to fight them off.  They’ll shoot you and you’ll be dead.  I’m willing to die right here, right now.  Are you?”

Was she willing to die to take Jacob out?  She had accepted her death earlier but it was something that was forced upon her.  Even if she did kill Jacob, it wouldn’t stop the cult.  Someone would just take his place.  Eden’s Gate wouldn’t stop until The Father was dead.  Jacob didn’t care if he died.  Yesterday she would have cared if he died.  Now she just wanted to kill him but she wasn’t willing to get herself killed in the process.  Liz didn’t want to die.

“You’re afraid to die, I can see it in your eyes.  You would have never been able to finish the trials.  You are weak.”  He shook his head and tsked her.

“That’s okay.  Just let go, you’ve served your purpose.  Make this easier for the both of us, sweetheart.”

What did he want from her?  Did Jacob want her to kill herself?  That would be the only thing that would make it easiest for him.  He had the video of her, he didn’t need anything else.  Turning her into a martyr would be just as useful as keeping her around.  Why couldn’t Jacob just kill her himself?  It’s not like he actually cared about her.

Her finger curled around the trigger.  She wanted to do it, so bad.  She wanted to kill him.  To see that smug look blown right off.  It would feel so good, but she couldn’t.  Liz wasn’t a killer.  Despite what Jacob had done to her, she couldn’t do it.  And if she did, she would die.

The anger faded from her face as she lowered the gun.  It hit the floor with a clatter when it fell from her hand. 

“You’re no soldier.”

Tears fell from her face and she let out a sob.  How did her life ever come to this?  Liz was normal before.  The thoughts of killing and death had never plagued her before.  Now it was the only thing that she thought about.

“How many people did I murder today, Jacob?”  She looked up at him with pleading eyes.  She needed to hear it.  Knowing the number was important.  She searched his face up and down for comfort but got nothing.  There was no remorse or empathy in his eyes.  It was like trying to find solitude in a blank wall.

“6.”

Six.  She murdered six people today in cold blood.  Her hand covered her mouth to block a scream.  The tears were flooding her face.  She hadn’t wanted to cry in front of Jacob before but now she didn’t care.  Her legs became wobbly.  She backed away from him until she hit the wall.  Her body slid down to the floor and she curled up into a ball. 

Her kill count was up to eight now.  She had killed those six people today, that man she kicked off the cliff, and a young girl named Elizabeth Palmer.  All that was left was a cold blooded killer.  She sobbed into her knees.  The strong don’t cry.  She wasn’t strong. 

Something inside her broke.  It was too much.  There was no fight left in her.  She had tried again and again to fight but it didn’t do anything.  In every possible outcome, Jacob won.  He always won.  There was no reasoning with him.  There was no stopping him.  And there was no way to kill him. 

Liz just cried.  There was nothing else to do.  Her sobs echoed through the metal hallways.  She wasn’t sure if she even wanted to live anymore.  She had no future where she was free.  There was no morning light shining in.  There was only darkness. 

The girl in the video and her weren’t that different after all.  They were both cowards and they were both weak.  Both were controlled by Jacob.  The only difference between her and that girl was; she knew that she was a dead woman.  Young Elizabeth Palmer hadn’t known that yet.

She didn’t know how long she sat there and sobbed.  Jacob probably had her death all planned out by now.  Girls who cried didn’t have a place in his army.  A large boot tapped at her side.  It was time to go.  She didn’t move.  She wouldn’t mind staying there until she died.  Jacob put his hands under her armpits and pulled her to her feet. 

His embrace was softer than she had expected.  He didn’t throw her into the wall.  It didn’t matter what he did though, the trust between them was broken.  Jacob had hurt her.  She didn’t meet his eyes.  Red tear marks stained her cheeks.  All of the dried blood on her face was washed away.  His calloused thumb wiped away a tear.  He was being gentle with her again.  Too bad he didn’t actually care about her.

“This is not how I thought this day was going to go.”

How did he think this day was going to go?  He started it off by killing someone, capturing the deputy, humiliating her, and then brainwashing her and the deputy.  He finished the day by beating her, making her think he would kill her, and then trying to be sweet to her.  She couldn’t imagine a scenario where the day ended well.

His grip was tight on her arm as he led her out of the control room.  Liz tried to stop her tears but couldn’t.  All of the Chosen stared as Jacob dragged her through his bunker.  They probably all recognized her now.  She looked exactly as she did in the video, she was just a sniveling girl.  Someone who was weak.

He was the only thing that kept her feet moving.  His grip was hard enough to leave bruises on her arm.  Jacob led her all the way out of his bunker and into the truck.  She cried the entire truck ride.  She had expected Jacob to say something about her breakdown but he didn’t.  He didn’t say anything to her.  There hadn’t been pity in his eyes, but there wasn’t anger either.

Liz didn’t trust him.  Not anymore.  She had thought that maybe there was something between them.  Anything that they shared was gone now.  There was no going back to what had been.  She got to live today.  There was a reason for it.  There had to be.  Something would change soon.  For now she just had to be thankful for life because she might not be so lucky tomorrow.

When they got back to the veteran’s center, she fled from the truck.  He hadn’t objected to her departure.  Liz just wanted to go to sleep.  She hobbled all the way to the barracks and found her bed.  She didn’t bother taking anything off.  She sobbed into her pillow until exhaustion overtook and she fell into a deep sleep.

…

The typical alarm woke up the soldiers of the veteran’s center.  It was early in the morning, too early.  The kind of early that made Liz hate herself.  She hadn’t slept in since she was in her apartment in Florida.  Her head was groggy.  She had only gotten about three hours of sleep.  Last night had been, stressful, to say the least.  Thinking about it was difficult.  She just wanted to forget to past two days.  She couldn’t shed anymore tears about it.  There was work to be done.

Liz was the only woman at the veteran’s center.  There had been several women at the chalet but they were trained and deployed elsewhere.  Jacob only wanted the best men guarding his stronghold.  Well, the best men and the girl that he needed to taunt the resistance.  It was awful having to live with to all men.  Not to mention the showers.  There were no stalls.  It was completely open.  She would rather stay disgusting than go into a communal shower.  The only time she had gotten clean since getting to the veteran’s center was when Faith had given her a bath. 

The food was terrible.  Breakfast was usually something that looked like granola.  She didn’t want to know what was in it.  It was better than starving though.  Everyone pretty much had the same attitude in the morning.  It was about 5 am.  All of the Chosen looked exhausted.  No matter how many time you do it, you never get used to waking up early for work. 

Liz sat in the mess hall with Staci.  He had been moved to the veteran’s center.  It was another shift in Jacob’s master plan.  Staci didn’t talk to her or even meet her eyes.  She had tried to grab his hand this morning, seeking some sort of comfort, but he had pulled away.  Not even her ex gave a shit about her.  They just sat at the table in silence.  It was no different than their actual relationship.  It was still nice to be around a familiar face though.

Staci’s gaze flitted past her.  His eyes grew in fear.  He scrambled up from the table, not bothering to bring his bowl with him.  Pratt practically ran away from her.  Liz was alone again.  What had he been staring at?  She turned her head to see Jacob.  He was leaning on the railing of the second floor.  There was a big smirk on his face.  Pratt had pissed himself at the sight of Jacob.  That wasn’t shocking.  He had done the same thing in the Grand View, but why did Jacob single him out this morning?  Pratt hadn’t been screwing up.  Unless, it was something to do with her.  Why would Jacob care if he sat with her?  It’s not like Jacob actually gave a shit about her.  The bruises on her neck were proof.

Jacob gave her a small wave.  It had only been a few hours since her meltdown in the control room but his attitude had changed.  Liz didn’t care if he was being nice to her again, he was still an asshole.  She looked around to see if anyone was looking at her but they weren’t.  The soldiers were too focused on their meager rations.  Liz flashed a sweet smile before raising her middle finger to him.  He only chuckled in response.

She didn’t want to eat anything else.  Her stomach hurt.  It had everything to do with the sore tissue at the back of her skull.  She picked up her and Pratt’s bowls and put them away.  There was only a few minutes of breakfast let anyways.  Marcus would be leaving soon to check the wolf beacons.  The old man probably thought she was dead.  She fled the mess hall, not bothering to look back at Jacob.

The hallways were dark, but Liz knew her way around.  The layout was simple enough.  If she lived long enough to get out of there, she would be able to explain it to someone else.  She found Marcus by the loading dock.  He was prepping one of the cages on the back of the truck.

“You need any help?”

The old man perked his head up from his work.  He smiled.  “Yeah, I do actually.  Never thought I would be seeing you again.”

She walked over to help him strap the cage down.  “That makes two of us.”

They had come up with a routine by now.  Getting the truck prepped was pretty simple.  There were two cages in the back of the truck.  They needed to be strapped down and secured.  To capture the wolves they needed nets, food, and tranquilizer arrows.  The arrows were for emergencies.  Marcus had that part covered.  The bliss arrows were standard issue for the Chosen.  He always carried his bow on him.  He only wore his mask when he was out hunting people out in the field.  When he was gathering judges it wasn’t really necessary.

They finished prepping the truck and took off.  It was still dark outside.  Sunrise wasn’t until about 6:45.  The hum of the truck was the only noise in the quiet woods.  They were alone, with no prying eyes to listen to them.

“Did you know about the video?”

He sighed.  “Yes.”

Liz wasn’t angry at him.  He wasn’t the one who had filmed it.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“He didn’t want you to know.  I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one to disobey him.  You know what he would do.”

She did.  Anyone who disobeyed Jacob’s orders was not going to meet a pleasant fate.  She was surprised he hadn’t done anything to her for flipping him off.  There would probably be consequences for it later on.

“Do you know who I am?”

“Everyone knows who you are.  Jacob won’t let anyone forget that Eli Palmer’s niece works for him.  He uses you to intimidate Eli.  That’s all, I know that.  Some people think _other_ things happen.”

Her eyes grew wide.  People would murmur when she walked by, she had a feeling what it was about.  “What other things, Marcus?”

“You know…”

Liz did know.  “They think I’m sleeping with him?  What the hell!  That’s…   Why would they…  No!  Just no!  I’m 20!  He almost killed me!  That’s just disgusting…”

People really thought she was sleeping with Jacob Seed.  If only it was simple as that.  Jacob would probably enjoy strangling her more than he would enjoy fucking her.  They did have that one awkward moment in his office though.  She tried so hard not to think about that.

“Soldiers can be disgusting sometimes.  It’s wrong, but you’re the only woman at the compound.  A lot of them don’t really adapt well to the ‘no fornicating’ rules.  When you first got here, a few of them said some nasty things about you.  Don’t really know what happened to those guys.”

Men at the veteran’s center had never made advances at her before.  There would be the only explanation to their sudden disappearance.  Did Jacob kill them because they had been talking about her?  Maybe Jacob had protected her more than she had originally thought. 

“Ew…  I really don’t want to be the thing that turns on the Chosen.”  She shuddered at the thought.

“I know.  I’m sorry for telling you all this but you deserved to know.”

She nodded.  He had sounded just like Eli then.  Eli always told her things straight up.  That’s where she had gotten it from. 

“Don’t be sorry.  It’s not your fault.”

The truck sped down the road until the wailing noise of the wolf beacon came into earshot.  This beacon was one of the closest to the veteran’s center.  It was only about a mile down the road.  The bright red light at the top shone through the forest.  The wolf beacons were hard to find during the day but very visible at night.  Marcus pulled the truck up close and turned it off.

“I fixed that thing with the judge food.  I took care of it.  You don’t have to worry about anyone coming after you.”  He always had a way of taking care of her.  She couldn’t have asked for a better partner.  It almost made her wonder if someone sent Marcus to her.

“Hey, in case I don’t get to say this later.  I just wanted to say thank you.  For everything.  You’ve really been a comfort in this whole situation.  You remind me a lot of my dad.”  She laughed. 

The old man smiled.  “And I didn’t want to miss another chance to tell you.  Just in case you know, I’m dead tomorrow.”

Liz could very well be dead tomorrow.  She might only have a few days left.  No matter what happened it would all be okay.  She had to believe in that.  If she hung onto that idea, it would keep her breathing for now.

There were two wolves at the beacon already.  They howled at the noise, begging for it to stop.  They would be in distress until the noise went away.  By then, they would already be in a cage on their way to the veteran’s center.  Liz grabbed a net from out of the back and slowly approached one of the wolves.  Marcus did the same to the other.  When she was about two feet away, she threw it over the wolf.  It whimpered but it had nowhere to go.  She began to drag it back to the truck.

_Bang!_

A shotgun round hit the wolf beacon.  It exploded into a ball of flames.  The blast threw Liz at least three feet.  She lost her grip on the net.  The wolf scurried off in pain.  Her body hit the ground with a thud.

Ash filled her lungs.  A burning smell was in the air.  Something on her was definitely burning.  She rolled on her side to cough up the ash.  She saw a body on fire and covered in shrapnel.  The hand was still wrapped around a net.  It was her partner.  Marcus was dead. 

Liz cried out but could barely hear her voice.  There was a ringing sound in her ears.  This was it.  This was where she died.  She was going to burn to death out there in the woods.

“Man she’s on fire.  I guess you can say she’s, smoking hot!”  The voice was fuzzy, but Liz could make out what he was saying.  He was laughing.

“Really Sharky?  Not cool man.”

Two shadows loomed over her.  It was two men.  They threw a blanket over her and patted her down to smother the flames.  One man had a grip on her arm.  The flames from the explosion illuminated his face.  She recognized the black cowboy hat.  It was the Deputy.

 “Are you Elizabeth Palmer?”

He was talking to her.  She tried to choke out some words.  She was in so much pain.  “I… What…”

“Are you Elizabeth?” He asked her again.

“Yeah…  Yeah.  What is...”

Liz’s head became foggy.  Blackness clouded her vision and she passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun, dun, dun. Liz has been rescued!! That chapter was very emotionally draining to write. I promise things are going to look up for Liz. Thank you guys for reading, as always. I love reading comments about what you liked, didn't like, what you want to see more of, etc. I will also any questions you guys have (if you have any).


	9. Have You Seen Her?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, baby baby  
> Won't-cha turn your head my way?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight nsfw warning

The hot water ran over Jacob’s back as he tried to relax himself.  Steam rose in waves and clouded the small bathroom.  The water temperature was scalding.  It was hot enough to burn off skin.  His skin though, was already burnt to a crisp.  The scars on his body had been accumulated over several years.  Most of them had come from the war.  He had been shot at, been on fire, and had chemicals dumped on him.  The bumps and scar tissue covered almost every inch of his body.  It was truly gruesome to look at. 

Women had never told him that to his face, but they thought the same.  He had been with several women in between deployments.  They were just flings, something to ease his pain for the night.  Sometimes he would watch them when he took his shirt off.  He could see the disgust in their eyes as they roamed over his scarred and blackened chest.  He didn’t blame them, but it had hurt him a little at the time.

No one wanted him.  His parents didn’t.  His father had beaten him senseless almost every day.  Old Man Seed got mad at him for countless things.  Most of the time it wasn’t even his fault.  Jacob had never let him lay a finger on John or Joseph though.  He fought his old man for years.  That was until social services caught whiff of what had been going on at the Seed house.  By then it was too late, the damage had been done.

After that, he and his brothers went to a foster home.  They had all been together but it was awful.  Their foster parents hadn’t wanted children, they wanted workers.  They didn’t get to even sleep in the house.  They slept in a barn, with the animals.  They worked day and night for those people.  One day Jacob had enough of it.  He woke Joseph and John early that day and told them that they were leaving.  He had already covered the house in gasoline.  All Jacob had to do was throw the match and light the place ablaze.  He could still hear the screams of his foster parents.  That was the first time he had ever killed someone.  He was 15 at the time.

He got thrown in juvy.  It hadn’t been too bad.  His father hadn’t been there to beat him.  When he turned 18 they gave him two options.  He could either go to jail for murder, or serve his country in the US Army.  He chose the latter.  The Army was the only thing he was ever good at.  Everything was simple.  There was always a mission or a target, something.  He was injured and decorated several times.  Eventually though, the Army threw him away.  Just like everyone else had.  He ended up back in his hometown of Rome, Georgia.  His money ran out after a while and the only place left to go was the homeless shelter.  He had nothing and no one…

Jacob had been lost in thought when he felt small arms wrap around his midsection.  He turned his head to see _her_. 

It was his little lamb, Liz. 

What was she doing here?  She shouldn’t be here.  They’ve never done anything before, she practically hated him.  But there she stood with her naked form wrapped around him.  This was out of place but at the same time it felt just, right.  Like this was always how it has been.

Her hair was already wet from the stream of hot water.  She wore her typical smirk.  Her eyes didn’t have the same glint of sadness.  There was joy in her eyes.  She was happy.  Happy to see him.

“Hi Jacob.”  She pressed soft kisses onto his back, he groaned in response.

“What are you doing here little lamb?”

“Do you want me to leave?” 

That was the last thing he wanted.  There would have been a time in his life where he would have pushed her away.  A time when he thought that having anyone he was close to was weakness.  He didn’t want to be alone anymore. 

“No.”

Her body squirmed around him until she was wrapped around his front.  He was taken aback by the sight of her.  His little lamb was gorgeous.  So perfect, and so his.  She didn’t have the same look as all of those other women.  There was no pity or despair in her gaze.  There was only desire. 

Not wasting anymore time, he closed the distance between them.  Her soft lips parted to make room for his tongue.  She let out a moan and her small hands roamed over his chest.  Her nimble fingers tugged at his chest hair.  In the past women had been weary to touch him.  Not her though, there was no hesitation in her touch.

She pulled away from the kiss and ran her hands through his hair.  It was amazing what a simple touch could do.  All of the tension in his muscles faded away. 

“What are you thinkin’ about?”  She asked.  Her hands were still entangled in his hair.  She had to stand on her tiptoes to reach it.

“You.  Only you.” 

It was the truth.  He had thought about this for a long time.  Too long, and too often.  The thought of being with her had distracted him from his work.  She was the only thing that could distract him.  

“Oh yeah?  I bet you’re lookin’ for a reward or something.”  She bit her lip and laughed.  The scalding water hit the side of her face, but she didn’t seem to mind.  Her lips pressed soft kisses to his neck.  Her hands wrapped around his hard length and stroked him.

Jacob let out a growl.  He hadn’t been expecting that.  It had been so long since anyone had touched him.  A big grin crossed her face.  Where had all this confidence come from?  In the past she had been timid and meek about touching him, not anymore.  Her grip was strong.  Her hands somehow looked even smaller wrapped around him. 

“Mhh.  Enjoying yourself there, Jake?”  Jake.  He had never been too fond of the nickname when Miller called him that.  But God, did he love it when Liz said it.

She released him from her grasp and got down on her knees.  Jacob had never seen a more gorgeous sight.  He didn’t have much time to revel in it before her lips wrapped around his cock.  There was nothing gentle about it.  Her mouth went straight to work, sucking on his length and inching her way down him.  She kept going until her lips were wrapped around the base of his cock.  He was buried deep in her throat. 

The girl didn’t seem to mind the intrusion of her airway.  Her hands gripped his thighs and held him flush to her face.  Her big eyes were looking up at him.  There was so much desire in her eyes.  She had never looked at him that way before today.  He liked her mouth so much better when it was used for sucking him and not for insulting him.  He shuddered when her teeth scraped across his length and he involuntarily twitched in her mouth.

Jacob leaned his head back in a state of bliss.  He fisted his hands into her golden hair.  Moans made their way up from his throat.  This was just perfect, she looked so perfect down there.  He should have had her doing this from day one.  So much time and energy could have been saved if they had been together since the beginning.  It didn’t matter though, she was here now. 

He felt her mouth come off of him.  He looked down at her and his eyes grew wide.  Jacob backed away from her in a panic until his back hit the shower wall.

“What’s wrong Jacob?”

“Jacob?”  She gave him a puzzled look.

Blood covered her hands and face.  The lips that had been wrapped around him were cracked and drenched in the thick red substance.  The blood ran down her body and flowed down the drain.  Black and purple bruises rested on her neck and collarbones.  Her ribs were protruding from her sides.  There was the tip of an arrow was stuck in one of her thighs.  On the other leg there were three long claw marks that showed raw flesh.

He tried to speak but the words were stuck in his throat.

She didn’t show any pain.  There was a sweet smile on her face.  She giggled.  “Do I have something on my face, soldier?”

Jacob sat bolt right up in his desk chair, chest heaving.   He wasn’t in the shower.  He was in his office.  It was all a dream.  He buried his face into his hands.

Nightmares were a frequent occurrence for Jacob.  They prevented him from getting any sleep.  He would sleep for 30 minutes here, an hour there.  The nights were restless.  Most of the time he slept in his desk chair, his bed always laid untouched.  He saw countless horrors in his dreams.  Most of the time it was with his brothers.  He would have to watch helpless as John and Joseph were beaten, shot at, and lit on fire.  There was nothing he could do to save them.  Other times Miller showed up.  Miller would always taunt him and tell him that he was weak.  That he wasn’t good for anything but killing.

Tonight was the first time she appeared in his dreams.  It wouldn’t be the last.

What had appeared to be a peaceful dream, quickly turned into a nightmare.  Why did she have to show up too?  He had hurt her tonight.  It wasn’t something that he had wanted to do.  But she was prepared to rip his throat out.  If he hadn’t done something, his men would have questioned him.  She was always so insistent on fighting him, never giving in until today.  He enjoyed beating Pratt, he hadn’t enjoyed beating her. 

It hadn’t been the way he wanted his hands on her.  Any chance of that was gone.  She would probably run away from him now.  Her pleads when he had thrown her into that cage had made him uneasy.  He had thought a lot about stopping.  He should have stopped, but he hadn’t.  Jacob threw her into that cage until she was bleeding and begging for mercy. 

He looked at the clock on his desk.  It read _4:23_ AM.  There was no point in trying to get anymore sleep, everyone would be awake soon.  He got up from the chair and rubbed his eyes.  He hadn’t meant to fall asleep in his chair but it had been a long day.  Was it only yesterday morning when the Deputy was captured?  It felt so long ago. 

Most nights when he couldn’t sleep he would pace across the grounds of the veteran’s center.  That was pretty much every night.  He left his office, shutting the door behind him.  It was quiet.  Most of his men were asleep right now.  There were still a few handful of his soldiers up though.  They guarded the perimeter and kept this place safe. 

He wandered the halls of the veteran’s center.  His heavy boots were silent on the tile floor.  There were a million thoughts running through his head but he knew exactly where he was going.  His feet carried him all the way to the barracks on the first floor.  Her room was on the far end.  She would be alone now.  Jacob had made sure that she got put in a room with a few of the night guards.  She never had to see them. 

There were several hoops Jacob had to jump through to get her here.  There were practically no women in his army, and for good reason.  His men couldn’t do their job if they were distracted.  And she was a hell of a distraction.  He had even allowed himself to get distracted by her.  Joseph didn’t allow any of his followers have sex before marriage but it was hard to control sometimes.  When she first got here, a few of his Chosen were placing bets on who could fuck the girl first.  Jacob had put a bullet in all of their skulls.  His only regret was not making them suffer more.

He slowed when he reached the doorway.  He should just leave.  Nothing good would come from talking to her.  It would only make her cry again and make him be pissed at himself.  He couldn’t stop himself though.  He stepped through the doorframe and he saw her. 

She was curled up in bed, still wearing her dark coat and boots.  Tear streaks stained her cheeks.  Ugly dark bruises covered her neck, just like in his dream.  Bruises that _he_ had given her.  She looked so small curled up there, so fragile.  He didn’t want to feel guilty but he did.  He had been dreaming of sleeping with her, while in reality she had cried herself to sleep.

Jacob thought about waking her up.  He thought about taking her back up to his office and telling her that he was sorry.  Sorry for hitting her.  Sorry for making her cry.  He wanted to so badly but he didn’t though.  If did that would mean that cared about her.  It would mean that he was weak.  He let his back rest on the wall and watched her sleep.

Why did he care so much about this damn girl?  She had been a thorn in his side from day one.  She had tried to kill him several times and cussed him out at every possible opportunity.  But she was a challenge, one he had never had before. 

Despite her breakdown, she was strong.  She was.  She was smart too, that was where her strength came from.  Physically she couldn’t overpower anyone, but she could outthink them.  She faced every obstacle strategically, always thinking about the options and the outcomes.  He could tell by the way she was lost in thought sometimes.  That strategy was what allowed her to escape for a bit at the church and helped her kill that bear. 

If she wasn’t strong she wouldn’t have succeeded in the trials.  His little lamb had blown through the first three trials like they were nothing.  That was a feat that most people didn’t even come close to.  Liz wouldn’t make her sacrifice though.  He knew that from the beginning.  There was still time to convince her. 

He had been soft on her until today.  He should have never been soft on her.  A part of him didn’t care though.  Jacob could do whatever the hell he wanted.  He thought that his work was the most important out of all the heralds.  The only person he ever listened to was Joseph.  No one had control over him.  If he wanted someone to keep him company during the nights, than he could.

She was a tool, that’s all she was.  He had to remember that but… she was his favorite tool. 

Jacob liked having her around.  She listened to him, most of the time.  She was his little shadow, always around.  He liked when she cleaned his weapons.  It was nice having her to do things for him.  He also liked their chitchat.  It was something that has kept him sane for the past couple weeks.  They didn’t even have to talk most of the time though.  Just her presence was soothing.

Truthfully though, he felt like an ass.  Yesterday did not go as planned.  Jacob had thought things were going to go _very_ differently.  He would have much rather kept the Deputy waiting while he spent the day with her.  That didn’t happen though. 

In the control room he was positive that she would have shot him.  He would have let her.  If he died fighting for Joseph than it wouldn’t matter.  Jacob didn’t care if he died.  He faced death time and time again but somehow walked away from it every time.  Someday his luck would run out, and he was ready for it

He inched closer to her bed.  Her face was still buried in the pillow.  He hated watching her cry.  Jacob had seen hundreds of women cry, every time at his expense.  He even killed most of them too.  Each time he felt nothing.  It was just culling the herd.  This girl had managed to make him give a shit about her.  How the hell was she able to do that?

There was nothing he could say to her or do for her.  Nothing that would change either of their minds.  He wanted her but couldn’t have her.  He couldn’t be weak.  This is the path that they had been put on.  Maybe in another life things could have be different. 

The blanket on her bed had fallen down, he pulled it back up over her.  He didn’t touch her.  If he did, he would only want more.  Jacob should just kill her right now.  Make it quick and painless.  She wouldn’t feel a thing.  It would save him so much trouble and spare him from any feelings he might have.  It would make him strong… but he couldn’t.  He didn’t want to kill her.

Jacob fled the room with conflicted thoughts.  She would be up soon anyways.  The last thing he wanted was her to know that he had been watching her sleep.  He paced the grounds until his soldiers woke up.  When it was a little past five a.m. he made his way back inside.  He leaned on the railing of the second floor.  He could see the mess hall from here.

Most of his soldiers were groggy in the morning.  How pathetic.  When he was over in Iraq, he had to be ready in a moment’s notice.  He never got a warm bed or guaranteed food in the morning.  He had to wake up every morning not knowing if it would be his last.  His soldiers were weaker than he would like them to be.  It would only take one example to get them back in line.

He looked down to see his little lamb awake.  She had clearly tried to pull herself together.  The tears were gone from her eyes.  Her hair was pulled back into a sleek ponytail.  He was glad to see her not bawling her eyes out.  She found Pratt and immediately flocked to him.  Pratt ignored her and pulled his hand away from her.

‘ _Good boy._ ’

Jacob couldn’t help but chuckle to himself.  The beating he had given the young deputy had been effective.  Pratt was quickly learning his place.  They were still sitting together though.  He didn’t like that.  He gave Pratt a look.  The deputy’s eyes grew in fear and he pissed himself trying to get away from Liz.  That was more like it.

A frown crossed the girl’s face.  The same glint of sadness in her eyes.  She turned her head and locked eyes with him.  Jacob gave her a big smirk.  He wanted her to know what had caused Pratt to run away.  The girl slowly looked around, checking who was around.  He loved watching the wheels in her head turn.  She was always planning out her next move.

She gave him a sweet smile before flipping him off.  He chuckled.  That was his girl.  Her fiery spirit had returned.  There was hope for her just yet.  She kept her eyes trained on the floor as she walked off. 

Jacob went back to his office, shutting the door behind him.  He felt so conflicted about Liz.  What the hell was he going to do with her?  The past few days had been confusing.  He’s thought about things that he hadn’t in years.  Felt things he thought he could never feel.  The girl was a distraction, his weakness.  He could either succumb to his weakness or dispose of her.  He didn’t want to do either, but he couldn’t just sit on it forever.  Tonight he would make a decision on what to do with her.  He would try to convince her one more time.  If she refused, he would be done.

He sat down at his desk and turned on one of the CB radios.  All of the white Eden’s Gate trucks were bugged.  Jacob had figured out how to wiretap the trucks a few years ago.  He could listen in to anything his soldiers said while they were in the trucks.  Most of the time there were no problems.  But he wanted to know what his men said when they thought they weren’t being watched. 

The CB he was holding went to her truck.  He listened to her conversations some days.  She talked _a lot_ when she wasn’t angry or upset.  He’d heard lots of her stories.  She mostly talked about her times growing up in Hope County.  Jacob tuned the radio to the correct frequency and listened in.

“ _He didn’t want you to know.  I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one to disobey him.  You know what he would do._ ” 

That was the girl’s partner, Marcus.  The old man was the perfect person to keep her calm.  He had been with The Project since the early days.  He was one of the first people to join the Chosen when the army was just starting in the mountains.  Jacob had given the old man three rules to dealing with her: (1) Don’t tell the girl anything about Eli and the Whitetails (2) Let her talk as much as she wanted (3) And to shoot her if she tried to run away

“ _Do you know who I am?_ ”

“ _Everyone knows who you are.  Jacob won’t let anyone forget that Eli Palmer’s niece works for him.  He uses you to intimidate Eli.  That’s all, I know that.  Some people think other things happen_.”

It was the truth.  A lot of people knew who the girl was.  The video that played all over the mountains made sure of that.  He’s caught more Whitetails trying to rescue her than he ever had before.  Eli was running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get her back.  What Jacob told her that night in the cabin was all a lie.  He just wanted her to be broken. 

“ _What other things, Marcus?_ ”

“ _You know_ …”

Jacob could picture the agitation that would be on her face.  Her nose always scrunched up when she was angry or flustered.

“ _They think I’m sleeping with him?  What the hell!  That’s…   Why would they…  No!  Just no!  I’m 20!  He almost killed me!  That’s just disgusting…_ ”

His grip tightened on the radio.  That kind of hurt.  Jacob knew he wasn’t the most attractive man but it still wasn’t something that he wanted to hear.  He shut off the radio.

He felt stupid.  Of course she wouldn’t want him.  Why did he think any differently?  His little lamb was no different than all of those other women.  She would never look at him the way she did in his dream.  That would never come true.

Jacob had never thought of their age difference before.  She was young, he knew that.  Was it wrong that he wanted her even though they were 27 years apart in age?  He was old enough to be her father but honestly… he didn’t give a shit.  He just wanted her to make her sacrifice.  Anything else could be figured out later.  If she did, all of this confliction could go away.

She would get one more chance.  If she didn’t listen to him, then it would be out of his hands.  Jacob would try to make it as painless as possible.  Tell her that it’s nothing personal and that he wished it could have different.  He wouldn’t take joy in it but it had to be done.

_Boom!_

Jacob perked his head up and walked out onto the balcony.  He could see the fiery explosion from his office.  It was one of his wolf beacons.  That was the one Liz had gone to.  He ran out of his office, stomping down the stairwell all the way to his truck. 

As the tires sped along the gravel road, he couldn’t help but wonder if she was dead.  She might have been too close to the blast and burned to death.  That was a fate he wouldn’t have wished on her.  Being on fire was not pleasant.  It was one of the worst ways to die, he knew firsthand.  Only when it happened to him he didn’t die.  He just got to live with the pain and scars on his skin.

Jacob had thought about killing her tonight but he would have given her a choice.  He hadn’t wanted that choice made for him.  He didn’t want to stumble across her body.  Not when there was still a chance she would join him.

When he reached the beacon it was still burning.  The orange glow of the flames carried through the dark forest.  He braced himself for the worst.  This was no doubt the Deputy’s doing.  He had already blown up two of his other beacons.  That cowboy really had a way of pissing Jacob off.

There were two dead wolves laying a few feet away from the beacon.  The gray fur turned an ugly black.  There was also a body, it was still smoldering from the flames.  It was Marcus.  What a shame that he was dead.  He was a valued member of his Chosen.  He served his purpose though.  Nothing could be done.  Jacob searched the area but didn’t find a second body. 

Liz was gone.  The Deputy had taken her.

She was gone, not dead.  She was probably with Eli right now.  Jacob could feel the anger boiling inside him.  Now he had nothing, no leverage to taunt the Whitetails with and he didn’t have her…

Jacob’s fist collided with the passenger side window of his truck.  The force put a large crack down the center.  He punched it two more times before it shattered into a hundred pieces.  The shards of glass covered the seat inside.  His fist was bloody and there were two pieces of glass wedged in between his knuckles.  He pulled the shards out.  His bleeding hand didn’t bother him, he had endured worse pain. 

He pulled out his radio to call his hunters.  “Find the Deputy.  He’s taken one of our own.”

“Sir, do you want us to capture him?”

“No.  Just find out where he went.  I’ll handle it myself after that.”

The Deputy was going to pay for taking her.  Cowboy could play his little games but this was one too far.  Jacob still needed him, but he had to be punished for this.  He made a call out to the Deputy.

“Y’Know Deputy, I had such high hopes for you.  But I have to say that I am disappointed.  The girl was not yours to take.  She understood her role, that’s something you still need to learn.  I am willing to overlook this though… if you just bring her back to me.  She stays with me and you go free.”

Only static came from the other end.  He didn’t expect the Deputy to respond.  Cowboy was practically a mute and hadn’t spoken at all.

“Yeah that’s not gonna happen.  She’s safe with the Whitetails.  Besides, I’m sure she enjoys being with her family more than she enjoys being with _you_.”

Jacob quirked his eyebrow.  So he does speak and so boldly.  It was only yesterday that Jacob had the Deputy strapped to a chair.  Now he thought that he could just talk to Jacob like that. 

“If you refuse my offer Cowboy and continue to support Eli, that hope will cease to exist.  But I have confidence that you’ll make the right choice in the end.  If not, you’ll all pay in blood.”

He shut off the radio.  The Deputy wasn’t going to bring her back.  That’s okay, his hunters would find him.  He would pay for this.  She would be home soon.  He flexed his hand.  Punching that window was not a good idea.  He didn’t know what had come over him.  Most of the time when he was angry he could control himself.  Not when it came to her though.

He climbed back into his truck and sped back to the compound.  His men would deal with the destroyed beacon.  What was he going to do now?  Eli had the girl.  That made matters much more complicated.

Jacob paced around the grounds of the veteran’s center.  Walking kept him calm.  It kept him from doing anything else irrational.  Most of his Chosen were on edge as well.  Things were changing for them.  It had been silent for years and all of a sudden this Deputy shows up and threatens The Project.  Cowboy wasn’t a huge threat, but if he wasn’t taken seriously he would destroy everything Jacob worked so hard to build.

The sun was slowly coming up.  All the operations at his compound were in full motion.  He glanced over the judge cages, expecting to see golden hair, but saw nothing.  She was gone.  Jacob couldn’t believe himself.  He spent the whole morning trying to decide what to do with her.  Now that the choice was out of his hands, he just wanted her back.  He didn’t like it when choices were made for him.  Jacob needed to be in control all the time. 

He kept himself busy by intimidating some of the Whitetails they caught the other day.  Man, was it fun to watch them piss their pants.  Some would try not to act scared, but deep down they were cowards.  That’s all the Whitetails were, children.  They couldn’t run and they couldn’t fight.  All they did was hide.  He thought that having the girl would break Eli.  It did, somewhat.  But now she was with him.

Maybe this wasn’t too terrible though.  Eli probably took her to the Wolf’s Den.  If Jacob could get her back, she would able to tell him everything.  She was much chattier than the Deputy was.  It would only take some persuasion.  He had actually given her a job here, a purpose.  Her Uncle would probably just stuff her in the bunker to keep her safe. 

Jacob could lure his little lamb back home.  It would take some time.  But when she came back to him, she could crush the Whitetails with a single blow.

There was still no word from his hunters.  They hadn’t contacted him on the radio.  The Deputy hadn’t been able to avoid them the first time, so what was taking so long now?

He spotted one of his hunters approaching him.  Speak of the devil.  A few of the others stood back.  This was going to be good. 

“Sir, I have some bad news… The Deputy and the girl are gone.”  There was fear in his voice.  There damn well should be fear in him. 

“What do you mean they’re gone?  Where did The Deputy go?”  His didn’t raise his voice but his tone was still cold.

“They vanished.  We followed his tracks for a while but then they just stopped.”

Jacob sighed.  His hunters were supposed to be better than this.  He didn’t want excuses, he wanted results.  It was just one damn deputy, how hard could it be to find him?

In one swift motion, he drew his knife and jabbed it into the gut of his hunters.  The man cried out in pain.

“Shhhh.  Don’t fight it.  You served your purpose.”

He pulled his knife out.  The blade was the exact same shade as the handle.  The man fell over on the ground, still holding his intestines.  He bled out on the ground.  The other hunters stood frozen in fear.  It only took one.  Using one person as an example could always get everyone else back in line.

“You come back with results, or you don’t come back.  If you have excuses next time, you’ll all meet the same fate.”

The hunters scurried away, with the fear of god in them.  Good, they needed to stop being weak.  There weren’t many places that the Deputy could go, he would be found eventually.

Jacob walked around some more and went back up to his office.  He used a rag to clean the blood off his knife.  It wasn’t as enjoyable as having her do it for him.  His little lamb was gone and there was nothing he could do about it.

There was a million things he needed to do but he didn’t feel like doing any of them.  His men could survive without him.  He milled around the veteran’s center all day, not wanting to go anywhere.  Not without her.

He was surprised by how dull things seemed without her.  Jacob had the same routine for years, doing the same things every day.  All it took was one stupid girl to come and screw the whole thing up.  He didn’t _miss_ her.  Why would he?  When they were together they barely even talked.  They were practically strangers, but he wanted her back.

Day turned to night as he kept himself busy.  He paced around for hours, trying to plan his next move.  His body only stopped to rest when the stars were shining in the sky.  He turned on one of the radios at his desk and flipped through the frequencies.  Sometimes he would be able to pick up conversations from nearby resistance members.

“This is a shout out to my girl Liz Palmer.  The Whitetails are real glad to have you safe and fighting with us.  This song’s for you.”

It was that teenager that was always with Eli.  He was always yammering on the radio about stupid shit.  That kid was annoying as hell.

Jacob recognized the song instantly.  It was by Van Halen, it came out in ’79.             

‘ _Have you seen her?  So fine and pretty.  Fooled me with her style and ease._

 _And I feel her from across the room.  Yes, it's love in the third degree_.’

The music carried through his office.  It had been a long time since he had listened to something that wasn’t related to The Project.  The 70’s had the best music though, by far.  It was the music of his childhood.

 ‘ _Oh, baby baby.  Won't-cha turn your head my way?_ ’

He was eight years old when this song came out.  There were a lot of terrible times in his childhood but some things weren’t so bad.  He would steal money from his father’s wallet and go to one of the stores in town.  There would be records to listen to that he could never afford to buy.  Sometimes he would steal some of them for his brothers.  It would be a little something that made life easier.

‘ _Oh, baby baby.  Ah come on take a chance._

_You're old enough to Dance the night away.’_

There couldn’t be a better song to describe her.  She was so fine and pretty.  And sure as shit fooled him with her style and ease. 

‘ _Whoa-oh (ah) come on g-girl, dance the night away_.’

His little lamb was probably dancing the night away somewhere.  It just wouldn’t be with him…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Dance The Night Away by Van Halen  
> youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tqm9-qilVh4
> 
> Sorry it takes me so long to post the chapters. I hope ya'll still enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it. That dream sequence was the first time I've ever written anything smutty, so I hope it wasn't too cringe. The song is one of my absolute favorites and I think it perfectly describes Liz. I feel like this is something that Jacob would sing to her :)) If ya'll copy and paste the link and it doesn't work let me know and I'll find another one. Thanks for reading, as always!


	10. The Wolf's Den

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to The Whitetail Militia Lizzie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA Liz gets the love and appreciation that she deserves.

“Can you hear me?”

The words were muffled.  The only thing Liz could focus on was the single light bulb above her.  Was she dead?  Did she burn up in that fire?  The afterlife sure looked strange.  It wasn’t as pretty as she imagined.  Death was weird.

Or maybe this wasn’t death.  Did she get re-captured by Jacob’s men?  She wasn’t sure what fate she preferred.  Both situations were terrible.  Being stuck with Jacob was probably worse though.

There was music playing.  It was loud.  It wasn’t _Only You_.  It was some sort of rock music.  Why would the Chosen be playing music?

Small hands wrapped around her leg.  No.  She wasn’t going back to him.  They would have to kill her before that happened.  She kicked out and her foot collided with something.  It let out a huff in pain.  Another set of hands grabbed her.  Liz thrashed out.  She was kicking and screaming.

“Liz!”  The music cut off. 

“Lizzie!”

There was only one person in the world who called her Lizzie.  Her Uncle.  He called her that for as long as she could remember.  She stopped kicking and let her muscles relax.  Her body hurt, but no more than usual.  She rubbed her eyes and sat up.

Her vision cleared and there he was.  “Uncle Eli?”

His beard was much longer than before and his hair went down to about his shoulders.  He had the same tattoos on his arms.  The shirt he wore said _Whitetail Militia_.

“Hey kiddo.”

There was someone else in the room with them.  He was younger and had two long braids on either side.  It was Wheaty!  Wheaty had worked with Eli during his days during construction.  He and Liz were about the same age.  She had met him a few times in the past.  He was moaning and holding his nose.  Wheaty was the person she had kicked.  Whoops.

“She didn’t kick you that hard Wheaty.  Go clean yourself up.”

“Fine.”  He was still holding his nose.  With an agitated huff, he left.

Liz was sitting in a bed.  It was comfier than her bunk in the veteran’s center but it still sucked.  She was in someone’s bedroom.  All of the walls were metal.  Eli was sitting at the edge of the bed.

“Are you real?”

He laughed.  “Yeah I’m real Lizzie.  Come here kid.”  He opened his arms for a hug.  Liz really needed a hug right now.  She crawled over the bed and into his arms.  She buried her head into his chest and let out a sob.  Eli stroked her head.

“Shhh.  It’s okay Lizzie.  You’re safe now.”  She was finally safe.  Liz finally found her Uncle.  Eden’s Gate had no control over her.  Jacob had no control over her anymore.  All that suffering had led her back here.  None of those things in the past mattered anymore.  She was going to be okay.  Those stars had been leading her back to her Uncle.

“Where am I?”  The words were muffled into his chest.

“You’re at the Wolf’s Den.  It’s the bunker where most of the Whitetails stay.  Jacob won’t find you here.”

The Wolf’s Den.  This was the place that Jacob was desperate to find.  He had taken off the heads of several people trying to get the location.  She was sitting in the heart of the resistance. 

“Listen, this is important.  Did you ever tell Jacob where this place was?  I won’t be mad if you did.  I just need to know.”  She knew what he was asking.  Was the location of this bunker compromised?  Did he have to move his entire militia?

“No.  I didn’t even know this place existed.  But… I did tell him where a few of your prepper stashes were.  Sorry.”  She had told Jacob where half of their supplies were.  Supplies that would have helped the Whitetails.  At the time she didn’t think she was ever going to get rescued.  She had just been trying to save her own skin.

“It’s okay Liz.  We’ll send the Deputy to take care of it.  It’s not your fault.  You were just trying to stay alive.”

“Where is the Deputy?”  She had almost forgotten that the Deputy was the one to save her.  His cowboy hat was very distinctive though.

“I sent him and Sharky to rescue some people being held at the Visitor’s Center.  But this morning I sent him to get you first.  Making sure you were safe was the most important.”

It was nice to know that her Uncle still cared about her.  At least someone did.  The number of people on this Earth that gave a shit about her was quickly dwindling.  Her parents and brother were probably gone.  Staci wouldn’t even at look at her.  Jacob didn’t care about her…

Eli was all she had left.

“Thank you Uncle Eli.” 

“Of course.  Anything you need, I’m here for you.” 

She nodded into his chest.  She still hadn’t let him go from the hug.   

“Who’s Sharky?” 

Eli scoffed.  “You’ll know him when you see him.  He’s a good fighter but he’s an idiot.  He and Dep will be back soon.  You get some rest now.  But when you’re ready you need to tell us everything.  While it’s still fresh in your mind.”

She released him from her grasp. “Okay.”

Eli left the room and she was alone again.  Liz didn’t like being alone.  Most of her time through the past few weeks, she had been alone.  There were other people around but no one she knew, no one that she cared about. 

She was tired.  The past few days had been very eventful and very confusing.  She had grown closer to Jacob only for him to betray her.  What was he doing right now?  Probably not missing her.  He was most likely glad that she wasn’t his problem anymore.  That’s all she was, a problem.  She was Jacob’s problem and now she was Eli’s. 

Liz should rest but couldn’t.  The metal walls felt like they were closing in around her.  She couldn’t be alone.  Her heavy boots hit the floor with a thud.  Her body ached but she was okay.  She was still wearing her Eden’s Gate garb.  There were a few burn holes in her white Henley, but everything else looked fine. 

The bedroom she was in was simple.  There was a nightstand and a dresser.  On the dresser sat a photo of her cousin.  This was Eli’s bedroom.  She couldn’t look at the photo of her five year old cousin.  It brought back too many bad memories.  Eli always said that what happened wasn’t her fault but he was wrong.  It was.  It was her fault that he had died.  Her kill count was up to 9.

She shook the thoughts from her head.  Dwelling on the past wouldn’t help her right now.  She left the bedroom.  In the hall there were multiple doorways.  It was hard to believe that she was underground.  She wasn’t really fond of the idea.  She didn’t like being in Jacob’s Armory either.  Being confined made her uneasy but that was something she would have to get over for now.  She had to find Eli.

Where did he go?  She heard some people talking down the hall and followed it.  When she reached the room she saw a corner piled with electronics.  The Whitetail Militia logo was painted on the wall.

_Resist.  Repel.  Remain._

If only the Whitetails spent more time actually fighting the cult than they did putting their logo on everything.  Then they would actually have a chance to beat Jacob’s army. 

Liz rounded the corner.  Eli and some woman were arguing.  “It was a bad idea to bring her here Eli.  First the Deputy and now this…”

Upon further inspection, she realized that she recognized this place.  Where has she seen this place?  The layout of the metal walls were familiar to her.  It kind of looked like the final room at the end of the hallucination.  But that was impossible.  Right?  Jacob couldn’t have known what this place looked like.  She half expected to see a faceless man for her to shoot.

“Lizzie, you okay?”

Eli wore a concerned look on his face.  The woman with him was giving her a dirty look.  Liz had been staring at the spot where to word ‘ _KILL_ ’ would have been written.  Liz was standing in the middle of the room just staring at the walls.  Clothed in the cult symbol, she looked out of place standing there among the resistance.  She really felt out of place.

“Yeah… I… I’m ready to answer those questions you had for me.”

She walked over to the table where Eli was standing.  There was a map on it.  Oh how this felt so familiar.  Only this time there wasn’t Jacob’s piercing blue eyes to distract her.  There were also TV monitors stacked high on the desk behind her.  They showed almost every building of importance in the Whitetail Mountains.  The resistance knew where she was the entire time but didn’t do anything about it. 

Liz didn’t comment on it though.  She had to be smarter than trying to pick a fight.  Jacob was right about one thing, being smart was the only thing she had going for her.  She sat down in a chair at the table.

“What happened to getting some rest?  You probably need it.”

“I can’t rest.  Can’t be weak…  Just ask me your questions.”  It came out colder than she had meant it to be. 

“How’d you get those bruises?” Eli asked.  Always concerned with her well-being first.  Her Uncle always did his best to take care of her.  She looked down and touched the soft skin around her neck.  It was sore.  Her neck and collarbones were covered in black and purple bruises.  They were from when Jacob put his hands on her.

Liz scoffed.  “What you don’t like them?  They were a little present from Jacob.  He threw me into a cage and choked me.”

“Did he ever…?”

She sighed.  No one said it out loud but she knew what he was asking.  Why was everyone asking this?  She hadn’t spent that much time him.  But everyone always gets ideas when a woman gets captured by the scary bad guy.

“Assault me?  No.  He didn’t hurt me in _that_ way.  He just enjoyed beating the shit out of me.”

It was partially a lie.  Liz didn’t like lying.  She never lied, but she was going to now.  How could she tell Eli everything that happened?  She couldn’t tell him that she kissed Jacob on the cheek, sang to him, groped his chest, and somewhat cared about him.  That wouldn’t fly well with the Whitetail Militia.  If she was going to survive here, she couldn’t give them any reason to distrust her.

“Yeah that’s probably not the only thing he did to her.”  The woman barked.  Her gaze was cold.  Liz wasn’t intimidated by it though.  This woman didn’t scare her.  Once you stare into the fiery gaze of Jacob Seed, nothing scares you anymore.

“Tammy… Come on.”  Eli was always the one to calm things down.  Even when she was little he would help break up fights between Liz and her brother.

“Liz, this is Tammy.  She is one of the Whitetails, she helps out around here.  She’s afraid that you’ve spent too much time in the chair.  How many times have you gone through Jacob’s trials?”

The answer was too many times.  Way too many times.  She had trained, hunted, and killed.  There was only the sacrifice left.

“3.”

“Goddamn it Eli!  She could snap at any moment.  There’s no telling how screwed up her mind is!  I told you it wasn’t a good idea to bring her here.”

“That’s not going to happen.  Wheaty deprogrammed her.  She’s fine.  Liz is family, we’re not turning our back on her.”

Tammy let out a huff.  She was clearly not pleased with Eli.  “Whatever.  But when she turns on you, don’t come crying to me.”

The woman left with aggravation over her face.  That was fine, good riddance.  Liz did not like Tammy one bit.  It was only their first meeting but she seemed like a bitch.

“Deprogramming?  What’s that?”  Was that the song that was playing when she first woke up?  Rock music didn’t seem to be the type of thing that would cure brainwashing.

“It’s what we used on the Deputy and on you.  That mind-melting shit Jacob used on you won’t work anymore.”

Liz let out a sigh of relief.  “Thank god.  I was fucking sick of passing out all the time.”

It was her best attempt to cover up her pain.  It wasn’t very believable though.  Her mind was screwed up.  She was broken but she wasn’t going to let it show.  If she did people would talk and they might get rid of her.

“You’re safe now.  Do you know anything about how Jacob’s army operates?  Anything that would give us an edge.”

“Yeah, I actually know a lot of useful shit that might just help you.  You got anything for me to write on?”

Eli nodded and handed her paper and a sharpie.  Let’s see if she can remember all that shit.  For a while, she stopped memorizing the routes because she didn’t think she would get rescued.  She rememberd most of it though.  Liz scribbled down a bunch of information on the paper: supply routes, reaping truck locations, cult schedules, helicopter convoys, and other things that would help them.

The map on the table showed the Whitetail Mountains.  The outposts were on it already.  Most of the markings showed attacks on them.  The Whitetails have been wasting their time with the outposts.  Jacob never went to them.  Most of that work was left to his right hand man, Ramirez.

Liz marked the locations of the Stone Ridge, Grand View, Veteran’s Center, and Jacob’s Armory.  If they wanted to hurt him, those were the four places that they needed to attack.

“When I first got here I was mostly at the Stone Ridge.  That’s where Jacob trains his army.  I was there for three… weeks.  I think.”

“When did you leave school?” He asked. 

It was strange to think about school.  In reality it hadn’t been that long since being at college but it felt so long ago.  Liz wasn’t the same as she was.  She had changed.

“Like late-May, early-June.  I honestly can’t remember.  Why?  What’s today?”

Eli gave her a grim look.  “July 1st.”

“Holy shit.”  Her eyes grew wide.  She had been with Jacob at the veteran’s center for almost 2 weeks.  It certainly hadn’t felt like it.  Most days had been so routine that she forget them.  Following around Jacob had been her reason for being.  Now that was gone.  What was her purpose now?

“I didn’t think I had been there that long.  Damn.”

Liz told him the rest of her story.  How she was there when Joseph got arrested, how she ran and Jacob found her, her job at the veteran’s center, and her time in Jacob’s Gate.  She drew him two maps, one for the veteran’s center and one for the bunker.  There was a lot that she left out though.  She didn’t tell them about the jokes she and Jacob had shared, her time at Seed Ranch, and the times he saved her life.

Eli patted her on the back.  “Thanks kid.  This is really going to help us out.  You’re a Whitetail now.  Jacob can’t hurt you anymore.”

She nodded.  Being a Whitetail didn’t protect her from the way Jacob had hurt her though.  That was something that would have to heal with time.  Eli brought over a stack of clothes. 

“I know you’re probably sick of that Eden’s Gate shit.  Bathrooms down the hall.  You can go get yourself cleaned up.”

She took the clothes from her uncle and left.  She found the bathroom and closed the door behind her.  Liz was safe for now.  Safe.  That was a word that didn’t mean much anymore.  The safest she had ever felt was in Jacob’s arms that night he saved her life.  Arms that would hurt her not long after that.

The clothes she wore hit the floor with a thud.  As disgusting as they were, she was going to save the cult jacket, it might be useful someday.  Her muscles ached when she climbed in the shower.  She inspected herself.  Her body was bruised and broken.  The stiches were still in her leg from the bear attack.  Bruises covered her arms as well as her neck.

She clutched at her sides.  For so long the thing that kept her going was the thought of being rescued.  Now that it had happened, it didn’t feel real.  Liz wished this was all some crazy dream and she would wake up in her apartment.  She tugged at her hair trying to get a grip.  But it did nothing, this was reality. 

The water was ice cold as it ran over her back.  The temperature didn’t bother her that much, it was just nice to feel clean.  She almost wished she had someone with her to keep her warm though.  She scrubbed at her skin until it was raw, washing away the events from the past month and a half. 

What was Liz going to do now?  She wasn’t being held captive anymore.  Could she go back to school?  Her life back in Florida was basically put on hold.  Even if she tried to leave, she might not be able even leave Hope County.  This was the place she grew up but it wasn’t home anymore. 

Eli might make her fight for him.  She didn’t want to fight.  She wasn’t a soldier.  This wasn’t her war, but Jacob had drug her into it.  She might have any other choice but to fight. 

She finished washing herself and shut off the water.  The clothes Eli had given her were lacking the Eden’s Gate symbol on everything, thank gosh.  She put on a pair of jeans, a blue and black plaid shirt, and a pair of brown boots.  When she was younger, she had a million plaid shirts in her closet.  Of course, Eli would remember something like that.  She had grown of that fashion phase when she moved down south. 

The mirror was foggy but she could see her reflection.  A sickly and beaten down girl stared back at her.  There were dark circles underneath her eyes and even darker bruises on her neck.  Her hair was shorter.  A few inches were burned off.  The tips of her hair were black and brown.  Well shit.  It looked like she got the world’s worst ombre from blonde to black.  Her hair had caught on fire during the explosion.  As if her hair didn’t look bad enough with the frizz now it had to be burned to a crisp too.  She found a pair of scissors in one of the drawers.

‘ _Here goes nothing_.’ She thought.

She did her best to cut her hair somewhat straight.  It looked pretty terrible but it was better than the burn marks.  Clumps of burned hair fell to the floor.  She inspected her handiwork in the mirror.  Her hair was so short now.  It had flowed down her back before, now it went to just below her shoulders.  The change was good.  Elizabeth Palmer had long hair.  She wasn’t Elizabeth Palmer, not anymore.

Who was that girl in the mirror?  Was she a prisoner, a fighter, a survivor, a killer, a niece, or a little lamb?  Maybe she was all of those things.  There was no clear answer.  Truthfully, she didn’t know who she was anymore.  Jacob took that normal girl and broke her.  Then he took the pieces and built something else entirely. 

How could she have been so foolish to actually care about Jacob?  To think he would be anything else than a killer.  All Jacob did was hurt people, like they hurt him.  He just wanted to watch the world burn.  She was very close to have been burned up in his wake.  It didn’t matter now.  Anything that could have been between them was burnt to ash now.

Liz shook the thoughts from her head and exited the bathroom.  There was a gnawing feeling in her stomach.  She peered out into the hall again.  She still didn’t know her way around but it couldn’t be too hard to figure out.  She followed the light to a room down the hall at the opposite end. 

The room was a mix between a rec room and a kitchen.  There was a stove and some crates filled with food.  There was also a couch and a small analog TV.  Wheaty was sitting at a table in the middle of the room.  His head perked up when he saw her.

“Hey Liz.”

She had been standing awkwardly in the doorway.  She walked over to the table where he was sitting.

“Hey… You’re Wheaty, right?”

“Yep.  We met a couple of times a few years ago.  Before all of this shit started.”

There was a large bruise forming across the bridge of his nose.  The imprint of a boot was still indented into his face.  She pointed to it.

“Did I do that?”  She cringed to herself.

“Yeah… Don’t sweat it though.  You didn’t know what was going on.”

“Sorry.”  Liz kind of felt like shit.  She hadn’t meant to kick Wheaty in the face.  But she thought that he was one of the Chosen.  Her reaction had been to lash out.

“It’s okay.  Hey, do you want something to eat?”

“Yes.”  She was starving.  When was the last time she’s eaten a whole meal?  Probably too long ago.  She sat down at the table across from Wheaty.  He got up and fixed her a plate of food.  He set down a plate with a hamburger and fries in front of her.

“Thanks…”

She bit down on the burger and let out a groan of approval.  It had been so long since she had eaten good food.  It tasted just like Mr. Chad’s food.  The Grill Streak always had the best burgers.  It was too bad that place burned down. 

“Ugh this is so good.  I can’t remember the last time I’ve had a burger.”  She was talking with her mouth full but whatever.  Liz had done worse things than be a little gross.

“Really?  I thought the Peggies would eat good food since they steal it all.”

“Peggies?”  Liz was confused.  What the hell was a Peggy?  She had never heard that word before.

“Damn.  They really did grab you right off the road, didn’t they?  Peggies is what we call the cult.  The Project at Eden’s Gate- PEG.”

“Huh.  I’ve just been calling them assholes.”

She shoveled more fries in her mouth.  They were crinkle cut fries, a bit too soggy too.  Not her favorite but damn, were they better than MRE’s.  That redheaded bastard wouldn’t let them eat anything that was commercial and processed.  He said they had to be ‘strong’, like ancient men.  What she wouldn’t give for some crispy Chick-fil-A waffle fries right now. 

“What’s he like?”

Her head perked up from her plate.  Why did everyone want to know about him?  Sure he’s big and scary but he ain’t the most interesting man in the world. 

“Jacob?  What is he like?  He’s a fucking asshole.”

“Yeah I pretty much figured that.  But like you’re one of the only people to come face-to-face with him and walk away in one piece.”

“Have you ever seen him in person?”

“No.”

What was it like to meet Jacob?  How could she describe a man that could make you feel protected and threatened at the same time?  A man with icy blue eyes that were easy to get lost in.  Eyes that could make you forget all of the horrible things he has done with a single glance.

“Have you ever thought about death Wheaty?  I’m not talking about dying, but the physical form of death.  Like the grim reaper wearing his hooded cloak.  Except death doesn’t wear a cloak, it wears a camo jacket and a sick smirk on its face.  You look into his eyes and you see death in its truest form.  That is what it’s like meeting Jacob Seed.”

Her voice was grim but it was the truth.  That was exactly how she felt yesterday night.  He had practically been the grim reaper to her.

“Yeah cool, but I was just asking how tall he was.”

Liz couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle.  All of her pent up anxiety and fear went away.  It was such a stupid thing to say, but it was kind of funny.  Wheaty was pretty cool.  He reminded her a lot of her brother, David. 

“I mean I guess he’s pretty tall…”  Her laughter cut off the words.

“But seriously though, it sucks what happened to you.  What’d you do to get those bruises?”  His eyes were on her neck.

Liz bit her lip to try to halt the smirk growing on her face. 

“My knee might have forcefully collided with the _very_ sensitive area between his legs.”

A grin grew across Wheaty’s face.  “Wait, are you telling me that you kicked Jacob Seed in the balls and lived to tell the tale?”

She nodded, excitement oozing out of her.  “Hell yeah!  He almost cried.  It was awesome.  Well, right up until he almost killed me.  But everything before that was great.”

It was partially a lie.  Jacob wasn’t even close to crying.  He was only pissed off at her.  But it was much more fun to tell the story this way and talk shit about him.

“Holy shit.  Liz Palmer, you are my hero!”

Hero.  Not soldier or meat or lamb.  Liz was a hero to someone.  It felt good to hear that.  She really needed that right now.  For the past month and a half of her life she had been a tool, not a person.  Maybe there was hope for her to be a person again.

“Thanks.  But I’m no hero.”

“Sure you are.”

Wheaty raised his hand to give her a high-five.  She shook her head and laughed.  Why the hell not.  It had been a long time since she had done anything silly.  She accepted the high-five.  Sitting here talking to Wheaty was nice.

“Oh shit, Dep.  They’re giving out high-fives in here.”

Liz turned her head to see The Deputy wearing his cowboy hat and another man she assumed was Sharky. 

“What’s there to eat?  I’m starving.” Dep said.

“We got burgers.” Wheaty replied.

They both piled plates with food for themselves.  Dep sat down next to her and Sharky sat on the opposite side.  The four of them all sat silently, eating their food.  Liz kind of felt awkward.  Should she say something?  She kind of talked to Wheaty, but she didn’t really know any of these guys.  She was just a stranger in this bunker, a stranger to this resistance.  But she still should say something to The Deputy.

“Hey… um… Deputy?  I just want to say thanks for getting me out of there.”

It wasn’t much of a thank you but it was something.  He gave her curt nod.  Dep seemed nice.

“Yeah no problem.  No one deserves to be a prisoner to Jacob.  I’m just sorry that _somebody_ let you get caught on fire.”  He gave Sharky an annoyed glare.

Sharky looked offended.  “Hey!  You told me to blow the beacon up!  What did you expect from me?  And besides, she looked pretty badass on fire so…”

Dep turned to her, with a sympathetic look on his face. “This is Sharky.  I’m just going to apologize for him right now.  For everything he’s done… and everything he’s going to do.”

Liz chuckled and shook her head.  “It’s okay…  Ya know Dep… we’ve actually met before.  You were just kind of, unconscious.  I was the poor chump who carried you to Jacob’s chair.”

She didn’t mention that his face had been up her butt.  It wasn’t really necessary.  No one needed to know.  It would just make her more uncomfortable than she already was.

“Oh yeah?  Well thanks for keeping my hat safe.”

“You got it.”  She smiled.  It was so nice to talk to guys that were just normal.  Ones that didn’t talk about sinners, sacrifice, and The Father.

“Jacob’s pretty pissed that you’re gone.  He called me and even made me an offer.  He said if I bring you to him he’ll leave me alone.  Doesn’t look like he’s going to stop till he gets you back.”

He wouldn’t stop until he got her back. 

Something inside Liz snapped.  She scrambled up from the table, knocking over her chair.  She had been so calm all day.  But something about hearing Jacob taking her back made her panic.  Dep’s comment made her turn on a dime.  Why would he want her back?   Jacob did not want her.  He didn't.  He hated her.

Her hands were shaking.  Her breathing became labored.  She couldn’t go back to him.  Not again.  The boys at the table became concerned.

“Dep please don’t give me to him.  I can’t go… Not again…”  Tears were welling up in her eyes.  This is what Tammy had been talking about.  She had spent too long in that chair.  She may not snap and murder anyone.  But, she was on edge.  She was broken.  Despite her effort to stay strong, she couldn’t.  It didn’t take much for her to get upset.

“Woah, that’s not going to happen.  I’m not going to trade you to him to spare myself.  I told Jacob he could go screw himself.”

The boys walked over to her.  She nodded into her hands.  Dep wasn’t going to trade her away.  She was safe, for now.  She needed to calm down.  Dep, Wheaty, and Sharky were standing in front of her, all with concerned looks on their faces.

“Chika, I think Jacob’s done messing for ya’ for now.  He’s gonna screw up eventually.  And when he does Dep and I are gonna stick my flamethrower up his ass and barbecue his guts.  You can feel free to watch if you want.” Sharky said.

Liz laughed through the tears.  Sharky was an idiot, but he was pretty funny.  The thought of Jacob being burned alive should have comforted her.  But that had already happened to him.  Several times from the look of his skin.  Anytime she thought about what Jacob had been through, she felt sorry for him.  She should never pity him.  That was what got her into trouble the first time.  She wiped the tears from her eyes.

‘ _Stop being weak_.’ She cursed to herself.

“We’ll keep you safe Liz.” Dep said.  She nodded.  There was that damn word again.  Safe.  That confusing word that didn’t have a single meaning.

“Yeah, we’re definitely adopting you as our little sister.  If anyone tries to get you, they’ll have to go through us.”  Wheaty said.

Little sister.  For some reason she didn’t like the sound of that.  It wasn’t because she had a crush on any of these guys.  They were all sweet, but not really her type.  She didn’t like the ‘hero’ types. 

Being a little sister made her feel like a child.  Countless guys thought of her as one.  On first dates guys had told her that she was too young, right to her face.  Most of the time she was the same age as them.  No one would ever take her seriously. 

“Thanks you guys.”  Liz smiled, despite her conflicted feelings.  She didn’t know what else to say.  They had all been so nice to her and she couldn’t even make small talk with them.

Dep patted her on the shoulder.  “We got your back.  It’s been a long day, though.  Goodnight.”

Was it night already?  It had been morning when the beacon exploded.  She had been asleep all day.  Holy shit.

“Night.” 

Dep and Sharky walked off to the back room where the mattresses were.  She was alone with Wheaty.  Dep was right about one thing, it had been a long day. 

“Hey Liz, I got one more surprise for you.”

Her eyebrow quirked.  “More surprises?  As if waking up the resistance wasn’t a big enough surprise.”

“Just follow me.”

Wheaty led her back into the main room where she had talked to Eli.  She hadn’t paid much attention to the tables in the corner before.  They were stacked high with different records, radios, and laptops. 

“This all your gear?”

“Yeah.  I collect stuff as I go.  There’s so signals going out of Hope County but I make stuff to help the Whitetails communicate with one another.”

Wheaty was searching through a yellow crate.  “What type of music do you like?”

“Classic rock.”

Liz loved a lot of music from the 70’s and 80’s.  That was result from her dad.  Her dad went to all sorts of concerts when he was in his 20’s.  His music taste had rubbed off on her.  When she was younger, other girls her age would be listening to Disney channel music.  Liz would listen to Def Leppard. 

“Really?  You’re just in luck.  Here.”

He tossed something at her.  She caught the airborne object and inspected it.  It was one of those old, chunky iPods and a pair of headphones.

“I figured you’d be tired of listening to the Peggie music.  It’s got the best class rock songs on there.”

She scrolled through the artists on there.  They were all ones that she recognized.  There were at least five hundred songs on there.

“Oh my gosh.  Thank you Wheaty!  This is awesome!”

“You’re welcome.  I have a bunch of those just sitting around.  I’m glad it’s going to someone who will appreciate it.  Now I just got to find a song for you.”

He flipped through a box of records.  “Hmmm.  What song describes you?  Hmm...”

Wheaty flipped through a few more before coming to a stop.  “Yes.  This is it.”

She saw him pull out a record that had a ‘VH’ printed on the side.  It stood for Van Halen.  What song from that band could possibly describe her?

“I’m going to give you a shout out on the radio.  Let everybody know you’re safe.  You okay with that?”

Liz nodded her head.  “Yeah.”

He loaded up the record.  “I think they wrote this song about you, Liz.  They just didn’t know it at the time.”

The red light on the radio turned on.  He spoke into the microphone.  “This is a shout out to my girl Liz Palmer.  The Whitetails are real glad to have you safe and fighting with us.  This song’s for you.”

The needle dropped on the record.

_‘Have you seen her?  So fine and pretty._

_Fooled me with her style and ease’_

The song was Dance the Night Away.  A big grin crossed her face.  Liz loved this song.  She had heard it a bunch of times.  But she never thought of herself as the girl in the song.

_‘And I feel her from across the room_

_Yes, it's love in the third degree’_

“Do you want to dance?”  Wheaty was offering her his hand. 

“Sure, Wheaty.” 

Liz was honestly a terrible dancer.  She always felt awkward doing it.  She didn’t even get to dance at her prom.  Pratt had broken up with her that night and she had spent the whole night crying in the bathroom.

_‘Oh, baby baby.  Won't-cha turn your head my way?_

_Oh, baby baby.  Ah come on take a chance.  You're old enough to’_

She put her hands on Wheaty’s shoulders.  His took place in the center of her back.  Liz swayed her head to the music.  It was a pretty amazing song.

_‘Dance the night away_

_Whoa-oh (ah) come on g-girl, dance the night away’_

When Wheaty’s hands brushed against her arm, they weren’t calloused like she had been expecting.  His touch had been soft.  Not hardened and rough by time.  His hands didn’t make her feel safe.  His eyes didn’t offer her solitude and protection. 

Wheaty was super nice, but she knew what this was.  It was nice that they were dancing but it was more of a comforting gesture rather than anything else.  This was her older brother patting her on the head and saying ‘ _You’re awesome Lizzie, some guy will see that one day_.’  She was that little girl again, always waiting for someone to come along and see her as something else.

_‘A live wire, barely a beginner, But just watch that lady go_

_She's on fire, 'cause dancin' gets her higher than-uh, Anything else she knows.’_

Maybe Liz could be that girl in the song though.  She was old enough to dance the night away.  She deserved to be that special girl for once.  All she had to do was find the right partner.  Could that partner have red hair and striking blue eyes?  She wanted him to be.  But most likely not, he had hurt her.  He wasn’t a good man.  There was nothing between them, she had just been a fool for thinking otherwise.

Despite the circumstances, Liz enjoyed herself.  She was thankful for the comfort.  Her body swayed to the music.  There was a big grin on her face.  She was happier than she had been in a very long time.  A few days ago she didn’t think she could even be happy ever again.

_‘Dance, dance, dance the night away_

_Uh, come on baby, baby, dance the night away oh, ooh, yeah_

_Dance, dance, dance the night away ah, ha ow’_

They swayed to the song until it ended.  It was fun dancing with Wheaty.  But the whole time she wished she was dancing the night away… with someone else.

“What are you two kids doing?”

Liz turned her head to see Eli.  Oh no.  Her hands immediately left Wheaty’s shoulders.  She didn’t want her uncle to think that there was something else going on between the two of them.  Because there definitely wasn’t. 

“Just having a little fun.  It’s nice listening to something other than Set Those Sinners Free.”  Liar.  Liz loved that song.  She knew all the lyrics and had even sung it to its namesake.

“Well, I’m just glad to see you smiling again Lizzie.”

“Me too.  It’s been a while.”

Another lie.  The last time she smiled before today, was at Seed Ranch.  Being on that balcony with him made her smile.  Kissing his cheek made her smile.  Everything else after that with him, not so much.

“It’s getting late.  You should probably get some sleep.  You can stay in my room.  It will be a lot comfier than sleeping on the floor.”

Liz was pretty tried.  It had been a rough couple of days.  “I will.  Goodnight Uncle Eli.”

“Goodnight kid.  It’s good to have you back.”

She gave him one last smile before retiring for the night.  The bed in her Uncle’s room kind of sucked, but it was okay.  How different was it than the beds in the veteran’s center or the crappy dorm bed she’s slept in for the past three years?  She took off her boots and climbed under the covers. 

Liz was safe.  Whatever the hell safe meant right now.  If it meant a warm bed and staying with her Uncle, then she would be okay.  She tossed and turned for a few hours but eventually fell to sleep, letting dreams keep her asleep. She dreamed of white sandy beaches, ocean waves, and a man who was trying to destroy her. Because at the end of the day, she was nothing special. She was just another tool...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Dance the Night Away by Van Halen
> 
> I hope you guys are still enjoying this fic! I love reading all of your nice comments and feedback. I love and appreciate every single one of you who are still reading <3


	11. Uncle Eli

‘ _You’re just another tool…_ ’

Liz woke up screaming.  The noise echoed through the metal halls of The Wolf’s Den.  Her heart was beating out of her chest.  Adrenaline coursed through her body.  She rubbed at herself trying to push away sand, but there was none. 

It was all nightmare.  It had been a long time since she had dreamed.  Most nights she was just too exhausted.  She preferred to never have dreams or nightmares.  One told you your deepest desires and the other told you your worst fears.  They were all fake, both sucked.  None of them were going to become a reality.  So, what’s the point of having them anyways?

Tears fell down her face.  She sobbed into her knees.  Even during sleep, she couldn’t escape Jacob.  He had been on that beach with her. He had seemed so gentle, until he tried to destroy her again. How stupid was she? What a stupid, stupid girl.  To think that he would ever be anything other than a monster. 

“Lizzie?  You Okay?”  Her Uncle appeared in the doorway.  There was a concerned look on his face. 

She shook her head.  “No.”

She wasn’t okay.  Despite her efforts earlier this evening to act like it, there was no hiding it.  She was broken.  Jacob was like a tick implanted in her brain.  He was always there, always lingering.  

Eli walked over and sat on her bed.  She climbed into her Uncle’s arms and cried against his chest.  He softly stroked her head.

“Shh.  It’s okay.  It was just a dream.”

But it wasn’t just a dream.  It felt _so_ real.  It felt so right.  It could have been a reality.  But in the end Jacob betrayed her like he always did.

“I can’t believe that I trusted him…”

Shit. 

Shit, shit, shit.  There it was.  The big secret.  That thing she wasn’t supposed to mention, ever.  She wasn’t good at keeping secrets.  It was out in the open now.  Eli had heard it. 

“Trust who?”  He searched her face looking for answers.  He probably already knew though. 

Could she be honest with Eli?  She didn’t like lying.  She wasn’t good at it.  That’s why she always told the truth.  He was her uncle.  If she told him the truth, he wouldn’t get rid of her.  Right?  They were family. 

Just get it out now.  Tell him what happened and live with a clear conscience. 

“Jacob…” 

It sounded a lot like a child admitting that they had broken something to their parent.

There it really was.  Now her uncle knew that she had cared about Jacob.  Oh, how screwed was she.  Why couldn’t she have just lied about it?  Great job Lizzie.  She’d only been with the Whitetails for about a day and already couldn’t take the guilt of lying.  Damn her honesty. 

She wiped the tears from her eyes and released Eli from her grasp, to gauge his reaction.  He clearly wasn’t pleased, but he didn’t look angry either. 

“Do you want to go somewhere to talk?” He asked.

That wasn’t what she had been expecting.  Honestly though, what would have been the best reaction from him?  She hadn’t planned on telling him at all.

She nodded and climbed out of bed to put on her boots.  It probably wasn’t a good idea to be talking about it in the bunker.  It was surprising that her screams hadn’t woken up everyone up in The Wolf’s Den.

She followed Eli out through the halls of the bunker and out the front entrance.  It was dark outside.  The stars shone brightly in the night sky.  Cold winds ripped through the mountains.  It would be morning soon. 

July 2nd.  Eight days until her birthday.  She wouldn’t get to spend it in Florida with her friends.  She would have to spend it in a warzone.  If she lived long enough to see it…

The Wolf’s Den was in a strange place.  It wasn’t concealed in trees like she had thought it would be.  It was embedded into the side of a mountain.  It was a small mountain, completely made from rock.  It wasn’t exactly the greatest place to hide a bunker.  It was a miracle that the cult hadn’t found this place yet. 

Eli lead her to a small ledge that hung over the entrance to the bunker.  They both sat down on the rocks.  Her feet dangled over the edge.  It was only a few feet to the ground.  Nothing like the cliff that she almost got thrown off.

Was he mad at her?  Did he think she was brainwashed or something?  Telling him hadn’t been a good idea.  But she didn’t want to keep secrets from her uncle.

“Lizzie, I don’t even know what to say to you anymore.”

What?  She thought he was going to give her a lecture or something of the sort.  Her head perked up to look at him.  There was a grim look on his face. 

He let out a small laugh.  But it wasn’t a happy one.  His breathing hitched in his throat. 

“I keep wanting to ask you about softball or school.  But then I see that look in your eyes and all I can think about is how I failed you.”

Liz clutched at her sides.  Maybe back in the day she would have bitched at him.  Complained that no one paid attention to her.  That he shouldn’t have even let her even go near Eden’s Gate.  But not now.  It wasn’t his fault.  It was only her own.  She had been weak. 

“You didn’t fail me…”  The words weren’t very convincing.  She didn’t even believe them.

 “Yes, I did.  I was supposed to keep you safe.  You were captured for almost two months.  I had to watch that video of you strapped to a chair, over and over again.  It killed me knowing that you were with him.  And there was nothing I could do to stop it.”

Just thinking about that video made her feel sick.  She hadn’t seen it playing since being with the Whitetails, but it could still be playing.  It was a reminder of how pathetic she was. 

“Well that’s the reason he did it.” 

Following him around had been the only things she had done with him.  It was also the only reason that she had been kept alive.  If she wasn’t related to Eli, she would have been a snack for the judges. 

“Why did you think you could trust Jacob?”

There it was again.  Damn it.  She didn’t want to talk about it.  She didn’t want to taIk about the feelings she might have had for him.  It would only rehash the terrible past few days that she’s had. 

How the hell was she was supposed to answer that anyways?  Why did she trust Jacob?  Was it his blue eyes that gave her solace, the arms that protected her, or the few jokes they had shared.  It was just so easy to put her trust in him.  A trust that hadn’t served her well.  He ended up betraying her in the end.

“Have you seen what he does?  Like up close?”

Of course, Eli knew.  It was a redundant question, but she needed to answer it for herself.  To explain the logic of what he did.

“He breaks you.  He takes away everything that you ever cared about.  And then he tells you that _only he_ can make it better.  That he’ll fix it all…”

It was something that she had seen a bunch of times.  People were loyal to him because they thought they owed him.  But he was the cause of their pain all along.  It was a brilliant tactic.  One that he hadn’t used on her, but it was just as painful watching it happen to others.

“What did he have you do?”

“Nothing… I just followed him everywhere.  Most days he ignored me.  Pretended like I wasn’t even there.  I just thought that…”

Tears formed in her eyes again.  She wished she could stop crying.  She wished that she could just be strong. 

“I thought if I did what he said, followed his orders…  He would just let me be.  But no matter what I did he pushed and pushed, till I broke.  Every single day he told me that I was weak…”

Liz let out a choked sob.  It was the only noise in otherwise stillness of the woods.  It was partially a lie.  It was something that he had said to her many times, but not every day. 

“It doesn’t matter what Jacob said.  You’re not weak.”  Eli placed a hand on her back and rubbed soothing circles.  Her breathing slowly leveled out.  She wiped the tears from her eyes.  No more crying.  Be better than that.

“But some days he would act like I was _so_ important.  He’d tell me that he’d make me strong.  That if I killed you I could have everything that I ever desired.  I wasn’t going to give him anything though.  It was all a lie.”

A scowl crossed her face.  She can still remember his exact words from a few nights ago.  He said that if she did it for _him_ that it would get easier.  Not to be strong, or for Eden’s Gate, but for him.  There was a lot of things she might have done to gain his praises but not kill her own uncle.

“It’s a good thing he didn’t know shit about you.  If he did then he would have been able to buy your loyalty with junk food.”  He smirked.

She couldn’t help but laugh.  The anger faded from her body.  That was her uncle.  He would always tease her about her terrible eating habits and countless other things.  She missed this so much.  When they hung out in the past they always had the most fun.  It had been a long time since they had joked around together.  Eli had been one of her best friends growing up.  He took her everywhere fun around the county. 

“Did I tell you he saved my life?”

“Really?”  A confused look crossed his face. 

It wasn’t a good idea to tell him this story either.  But she was going to.  It was important.  It was part of the reason that she had trusted Jacob.  That was one of the most crucial nights of her life.  It was the first time she had almost died and the first time she had killed someone.

“Yep.  It was one night at the Chalet.  I was asleep.  Four men came and grabbed me.  They uh… drug me over to a cliff.  They were going to throw me off it.”

Everything about that night was still clear in her mind.  She remembered every small detail.  She could picture the cliff that went on without end.  And the screams of those men that had died.

“I couldn’t fight them off.  At that point I had come to the realization that I was going to die… And then a bullet just came out of nowhere and killed one of them.  The rest of them dropped like flies.  I was holding on to the edge for dear life.  Jacob pulled me up from the cliff and saved me.”

There were a few things that she had left out of that story.  She didn’t mention how she had killed one of the men.  And how Jacob carried her all the way back to the infirmary.  He didn’t need to know those things.

 “I know the reason he did it.  I was more useful to him than those men.  But, holy shit… Like here’s this man that despises me and tells me that I’m worthless.  But despite all that, he killed his own men to save my life.  How do you deal with something like that?”

She glanced over to her uncle.  He looked befuddled.  It was probably a lot for him to take in.

“I don’t know.”

She sighed, not receiving the answers she was looking for.  It wasn’t his fault though.  There was no real answer to dealing with something like that.  Being in a war wasn’t something that her parents had prepared her for.

All of Hope County was at war.  They were fighting for their home.  The Peggies were fighting for their beliefs.  This war wasn’t going to end well for either side.  Liz didn’t want to have any part of it.  Jacob had drug her into it.  But maybe there was someone else who was at fault…

“Eli, why did Joseph Seed know who I was?”

It was something that she hadn’t thought about much.  That day when he had visited her in the cage was a strange one.  For a while she had thought that maybe he was just lying about it.  But Joseph didn’t look like one to lie.

Her uncle said nothing. 

“There’s something you’re not telling me… I deserve to know.”

He sighed.  “You’re right.  You deserve to know what happened with the Seeds.”

Had she met the Seeds before?  That was something she would have definitely remembered.  But then again, maybe not.  When she was young the only thing she focused on was softball.  Anything that didn’t fit into that was ignored.

Eli shifted uncomfortably.  This better be a hell of an explanation.  “Joseph tried to recruit you into Eden’s Gate several times.  He pestered your parents about it and even talked to you about it.”

“What?  I’ve met Joseph before?  When?”

“You wouldn’t remember it.  It was right after you hit that home run.”

Liz racked her brain trying to recount any memory of Joseph Seed.  But she couldn’t think of any time in her life when she had met the man with yellow sunglasses. 

“Have the Seeds been here almost all my life?”

Eli gave her a look.  “Yes.”

What the fuck.  She had been living in the same county as Jacob Seed for years and she had no idea.

“So, this goddamn cult was forming while I was growing up and no one bothered to tell me.”  She could feel anger boiling inside her.  If someone had just told her, she wouldn’t have been in this situation.  She could have just stayed in Florida and avoided all of this.

“We didn’t want you to worry.  The less you knew, the safer you were.”

Safe.  That word had popped up several times in the past few days.  Each time she heard it, she got more pissed off.  There was nowhere safe anymore.  A scowl crossed her face.  She had been through so much shit because no one told her.  No one thought that she would have been able to handle it. 

“Your parents were the one to make a deal with the Seeds.  They wanted money to send you off to college.  Joseph made them an offer with the agreement that you would join Eden’s Gate after college.  I told them not to, but they didn’t listen.  Your parents let you go to school in the south because you would be safe.  The Peggies couldn’t find you there.”

Joseph had told her this story, but she still wanted to hear it.  Her parents took money from the Seeds.  Goddamn it.  Nothing good came from making deals with those bastards.  It was what got her into this mess in the first place, and what caused her family to go missing.

“Where’s Mom and Dad?”  She looked to her uncle, pleading for answers.  She missed her parents so much.  Were they even alive?  Jacob had told her that they escaped, but he could have been lying.

“I don’t know.  I helped them leave the county months ago.  Last time I talked to them, they said one of Jacob’s men had followed them.  They were hiding out somewhere.  Did they never come and get you?”

“No…”

Liz knew exactly what that meant.  Her family made it out of the county but never came to get her.  They were dead.  That was the only explanation.

For the first time in a long time, she didn’t feel like crying.  No more tears were going to come.  She wasn't going to let herself sob anymore.  What the hell was wrong with her?  She bawled her eyes out just minutes ago recounting her time with the Peggies.  But now accepting that her family was dead, she didn’t shed a tear.  Honestly though, she had suspected that they were dead long ago.  It was old news.

She wasn’t going to be weak anymore.  No one was going to be the cause of her pain.  Her family might be dead.  Why didn’t she feel anything?  She really was fucked up.  She didn't feel the same remorse for her actions that she did months ago.  Hearing that someone had died was just normal now.

Maybe they were still alive though.  There was a small glimmer of hope that they were okay.  They could still be out there.  She had to hold onto that.  She didn’t know what would hurt worse though; if her family was actually dead, or if they just didn’t want her anymore. 

If some Peggies did follow them out of the county, then they would have reported back with a kill or not at all.  There was only one person who would know.  And he was the one person that she didn’t want to see ever again. 

“What am I supposed to do now?”

There weren’t many options laid out in front of her.  She had too many weaknesses but not enough options.  She was caught up in the middle of this war.  Things weren’t sane anymore.  Hope County was fucking crazy.  She just wanted her normal life at college back.  But she wasn’t a normal girl anymore.  Jacob was responsible for that. 

He rewired her brain.  He taught her how to fight and then used her.  She knew how to do a lot of things now.  Things that were dangerous to others.  She was a killer.  She had killed innocent people, some of them were even Whitetails.

Eli kept his hand on her shoulder.

“You’re going to stay safe in the bunker.  Help out the Whitetails, and when the time comes you’ll help us fight the Seeds.”

And the truth is revealed.  Goddamn it.  It sounded like he couldn’t decide if he wanted her to sit or to fight.  No matter who she was with, something was expected of her.  She wasn’t going to be anyone’s soldier, not Jacob’s and not Eli’s. 

Why did anyone want her to fight for them anyways?  She wasn’t the best soldier.  Her small frame wasn’t good for much, not for labor and not for combat.  But Liz was much more than that.  She was a symbol now.  A lot of people knew her from when she was growing up.  Anyone who saw that video knew that she was a tool for the cult.  And now her uncle wanted her to be a tool for him.

Too bad no one in this county even liked her.  They only tolerated her because her last name was Palmer.  That’s why she had wanted to leave.  Her parents had wanted her to leave to keep her away from the Peggies. 

In college she had gone by Elizabeth instead of Liz.  Everyone at home had called her Liz.  That’s why at school she went by her full name instead.  She didn’t want to be that girl from rural Hope County.  The girl that couldn’t get off the softball field.  The ‘try hard’, the ‘overachiever’, the ‘dork’, the ‘goody two shoes’ that she had been.  Now there were different words that could be used to describe her.  Prisoner, tool, soldier, and killer.  She would give anything to be that dorky girl once again.

“Okay, Liz?”

She was snapped out of her daze. 

“Okay.”  She didn’t believe her words.  The Whitetails didn’t need her.  Eli didn’t need her.  She wasn’t going to fight for anyone. 

The sun was staring to rise above the trees.  It covered everything in an orange glow.  It was a nice contrast to the dark skies.  She was sick of the dark.  There was so much darkness in her life.  There had to be some hope somewhere.  There had to be some sort of joy in all this madness.

Sitting here talking to her uncle had helped.  She understood why the cult had wanted her.  He had even managed to make her laugh for half a second.  But that laughter eventually faded into the darkness.  Just like everything else.

As she sat there on the rocks with her uncle, she found a small sliver of hope.  Maybe things would be okay.  Maybe she would get better.  But it wouldn’t happen here.  Her parents may still be alive somewhere.  She had to find them. 

A normal life was waiting for her outside Hope County.  All she had to do was leave.  If she had condemn the place she had called home, than so be it.  Even if she had to leave her uncle behind.  She loved her Uncle Eli but it was all too much.  This was something she never wanted to be a part of. 

It didn’t matter who wanted her to fight for them.  She was only going to fight for one person now, herself.  Anyone who got in the way of that was going to be sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that it took me so long to update. I moved into my dorm a few days ago and it's been pretty hectic. But I promise I'm not giving up on this story, I absolutely love writing it. I hope you guys are still enjoying it. Thanks for reading :)


	12. Take Me Out to the Ball Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How the Hope County Cougars (almost) won the state championship 3 years in a row.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going ahead and posting this chapter bc the last one was short, and this chapter really fits well with ch 11. Enjoy!

**** **_April 19 th, 2014_ **

**_Fall’s End, Montana_ **

Hope County was alive.  People from all over have come to see the high school softball state tournament.  The Cougars Softball team was a favored contender.  They won the championship last year.  This year they were hosting the tournament, hoping to have the same luck. 

The beaten down baseball field outside of Fall’s End had been built up to look brand new.  It took some effort converting it to a softball field, but it got done.  Clay was laid down to make a suitable infield.  Eli Palmer’s construction company installed most of the bleachers and fencing.  Hurk Drubman Sr. contributed money (and campaign signs) to the cause.  Mary May Fairgrave even pushed the date of the Testy Festy up two months, so it was the same weekend as the tournament.  Joseph and his family also donated money.  It had been a community effort.

Joseph’s boots were silent in the tall grass.  It was a hot day.  Summer would be here soon.  It would be another hot summer without the collapse.  He and his family already had a strong presence in the county.  All three of his sibling’s bunkers were completed.  The number of followers in his flock were constantly growing.  But The Project wasn’t completely revealed yet.  They were still trying to keep a low profile. 

John accompanied him to the tournament.  He had asked Jacob to come with him first, but he declined.  His brother said he had more important things to do than “ _Watch girls run around in the grass”_. 

John hadn’t been too happy either but agreed to go.  His brothers weren’t fond of the locals and didn’t want to play ‘nice’ anymore.  Joseph constantly assured them that there would come a time when they wouldn’t have to. 

The locals of Hope County were sinners in every sense of the word.  But there was still hope for them.  All they had to do was join the project and he could save them.  He would save them all.

Joseph and John leaned on the fence on the first base line.  People weren’t paying attention to them right now.  They were all too focused on the game.  The Cougars were playing in the semi-final game.  If they won, they would be back in the championship. 

There was one girl that Joseph was interested in.  She was the second baseman on the team.  Her name was Elizabeth.  He could see her clearly from where he was standing. 

“Why this particular girl, brother?” John asked.

His brother questioned him out of term sometimes.  He still didn’t understand the importance of loving others.  It was something he would have to learn in time.

“Because she will be an important part of our family one day.”

The voice told him that this girl would be a part of his family.  She would march through the Gates of Eden with them.  It may not happen immediately but one day she would join them.  He was sure of it.

There were many reasons to bring this girl onto The Project.  She was well known within the community.  If she were to join, many others would follow suit.  Many years ago, he picked her out as a potential candidate for ‘Faith’.  But he had already found the perfect sister in Rachel Jessop. 

Elizabeth was a tiny thing standing on second base.  Jacob wouldn’t want her.  She didn’t look strong enough to complete his training program.  But she would be useful elsewhere.  After completing confession with John, she would serve under his sister Faith.  She would be a perfect priestess, preaching his word to the unbelievers.  She would do great things with him.  Much more important things than playing a game.

He watched as she played admirably.  She caught every ball that has hit her way.  She was by far the best player on the team, but clearly not the leader.  No one on the team looked to her for guidance.  How interesting. 

The game only lasted about 5 innings.  The Cougars won the game with ease by ten runs.  Cheers erupted through the crowd.  They were going to play in the state championship.  Elizabeth joined her team in celebration.  They retreated into the dugout.  The next game would be starting soon. 

He turned to John and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Leave me for now.  I’ll find you after.”

John gave him a curt nod and walked off.  He was probably off the harass the Rye’s.  He wasn’t fond of Nick Rye and his wife and bugged them at every possible opportunity.

Joseph had more important things to attend to.  He wandered through the crowd.  Several members of his flock were here but didn’t address them.  There was one couple in particular he was looking for.  He spotted them standing by the bleachers and walked over to them.

“That was a fantastic game, wasn’t it?”

David and Lisa Palmer turned their attention to his voice.  He saw the excitement fade from their faces when they saw that it was him.  They were nice folk but believed all the rumors that went around. 

“Joseph…” David said.  There was disgust in his eyes, but he still extended his hand in a friendly gesture.

“Elizabeth played very well.  You must be proud of her.”

A small smile crossed his face.  “We are.  Now there’s only the championship game to worry about.  Let’s hope that they can pull this one off too.”

“She is a very special girl.”

A girl that would help his project in the future.  She would help his family save more nonbelievers than they could ever imagine.

“That she is.  She’s already had several offers from college recruiters.  But she won’t be deciding until she graduates next year.”  Lisa pitched in.

“If she decides to stay at home, she will always have a place in The Project.  I’m sure we have a _program_ that would be best suited for her.”

It wasn’t the first time that he had tried to recruit Elizabeth.  He had talked to her parents several times about the matter but each time they turned him away.  It didn’t matter what they said though, she would be with his family eventually.

“We appreciate the offer Joseph, but we don’t want your money.  Liz will be going to a real school elsewhere.  She has a bright future playing softball” David said.

What he was offering was much more important than playing some game.  She would be safe from the coming collapse.  She would be one of the few people on this planet to survive.  And her parents spit the offer back in his face, once again.

“In time I hope that you will reconsider.  Enjoy the rest of the evening.”  He shook David’s hand one more time before leaving. 

The final game had just started.  He left her parents alone.  There was no point trying to talk to them anymore.  They couldn’t see past their own greed. 

Joseph sat in the bleachers behind home plate.  Everyone around him was on edge.  They were all excited watching the game.  He could never understand why people would become invested in something so fleeting.  The outcome of this game wouldn’t matter in the end.  The collapse would turn them all to ash.

The game droned on through the night.  When it got to the bottom of the 7th inning, the score was 5-6, the Cougars were losing.  The tension amongst the crowd and players was high.  There were players on second and third base.  There were two outs against the Cougars.  If something didn’t happen, they would lose the game.

“Up next at bat for the Cougars is number 13, Liz Palmer.”

The announcer didn’t sound very thrilled.  A few groans of disapproval came from the crowd.  Some people even got up and left.  Joseph heard murmurs of how ‘the game was already over’ and ‘there goes winning the championship’.

The girl didn’t look deterred by anyone’s comments though.  She waltzed up to plate, golden hair flipping behind her.  There was a glint of determination in her eyes.  She was going to prove them all wrong.

The pitcher gave Elizabeth a smirk, clearly thinking that the game had already been won.  The girl lined up to bunt but pulled away before the ball crossed the plate.  The pitch was lower than her knees, it was called a strike. 

A few boos came from the crowd, directed towards the umpire.  The girl let out a deep breath.  The next pitch was right down the middle.  It collided with her bat and flew over one of the dugouts.  Foul ball.  That was strike two.

What she did now would determine who won the game.  Everyone held their breath.  The girl took her stance at the plate.  She was the only one who didn’t look worried.  The next pitch came fast, it was low and outside.

_Crack!_

Her bat hit the ball in the perfect spot.  For a moment, time stood still.  Even Joseph was kept waiting in suspense.  The yellow orb soared over the field and flew until it was all the way over the fence.  Home run.

Mouths in the crowd hung open.  The tall girl standing in the pitcher’s circle looked shocked.  No one had been expecting that.  No one, except her.  She simply sat the bat down and jogged around the bases.  There was a huge smirk on her face.

“And it’s out of here folks!  The Hope County Cougars are your 2014 state champions!” The announcer said.

When Elizabeth’s foot touched home plate, the team stormed the field.  People in the crowd were screaming and cheering.  This was a huge moment for the people of Hope County.

Joseph couldn’t help but smile.  Not because of the outcome of the game, but because of his faith in that girl.  She didn’t listen to those who didn’t believe in her.  A trait that would serve her well when she marched through Eden’s Gate.

A crowd of purple jerseys were gathered on the field.  A large trophy was brought out to the group of girls.  Their cheers carried across the field.  Many people took pictures with their phones.  Today’s people were so concerned with taking pictures, that they forgot to live in the moment.  Not his family though.  They had more important things to do than send status updates.

He looked around for John but didn’t see him.  He probably already went to Fall’s End.  After a while, the crowds began to disperse.  People said their congrats, then immediately went to the bar to get drunk.  Or they went to the Testy Festy to eat cow balls.  Both options disgusted him. 

The girl exited the field and leapt into the arms of her parents.  They told her that they were so proud of her.  She also hugged a young man he assumed was her brother.

She scurried off to the Testy Family with her family.  Joseph followed and made small talk with a few of the locals.  He did his best to stay back but was close enough to hear her conversations.

“ _Hey Uncle Eli!  How many of these do you think I can it into my mouth at once?_ ”  She held up a plate a testicles to her Uncle.  How disgusting.  When she joined his family, she would have no interest for such things.

“ _I don’t know Lizzie.  My record is five, you think you can beat that?_ ”

“ _Oh, hell yeah!  You’re on!_ ”

Eli Palmer was a huge threat to The Project.  He was the one to build his family their bunkers.  But Eli figured out what was going on.  Once he caught whiff of The Project’s true intentions, he quit working for them.  He had started building a militia to fight back.  There were only a few members in the militia, but they were organized.

Jacob wasn’t happy about that.  He despised Eli and his family.  It was his personal mission to kill all The Palmers.  Maybe it was a good thing that he hadn’t come today.  Joseph didn’t need him causing a scene or trying to hurt the girl.

“ _Unkwle Ewli… look! 6!_ ”  The girl turned to her Uncle, with her mouth full of cow testicles.  She held up six fingers.

Joseph was appalled.  It almost made him not want this girl anymore.  But the voice told him that she was important.  He had prayed over it many nights.  After atonement she would be pure once again, all of this filth would be washed away from her.

She was approached by one the Sherriff’s Deputies.  The Deputy had dark hair that was pulled back into a braid.  It was Joey Hudson.  Hudson had helped the Cougars win the championship several years ago.

Joseph didn’t like the cops.  He did his best to avoid them, but some things couldn’t be put off forever.  When that time came, he would give them a choice to walk away.

The girl was surprised by her visitor and spit the testicles out of her mouth.

“ _That was a hell of a hit, Palmer_.” Hudson said.

The two women shook hands.

“ _Wow!  Thank you so much!  Can I say, it’s a total honor to finally meet you.  You’re like a Hope County legend!_ ”  There was a big grin on the girl’s face.

They talked for a few minutes.  The girl clearly looked up to the dark-haired deputy. 

“ _Keep up the good work and you’ll be a legend yourself.  See you around_.”  Hudson left.

She was approached by several other people including; Pastor Jerome, Virgil Minkler, and Hurk Drubman Sr.  Drubman even talked to her about volunteering for his campaign.  All of them were sinners.  She wouldn’t join any of them though.  Her fate was already decided.

He followed as her family left the festival and headed into town.  There were people all around.  Joseph passed several idiots that were already black out drunk.  Two of them were Hurk Drubman Jr. and Sharky Boshaw.  They were the two dumbest people Joseph had ever met.  He didn’t want them anywhere near The Project.  It would take forever the cleanse the filth from their souls.

The girl retreated into the general store with her father.  She exited carrying a bag of barbecue chips.  How strange.  She and her family went into the _Spread Eagle_ Bar.  Joseph hated this place.  The establishment was a disgrace to the county.

John was sitting outside, drinking a beer.  His brother had spent too much time in bars when he was younger.  It was a hard habit for him to break.  Joseph took the beer out of his hands and sat it on the table.  John didn’t say anything.

“I’ll only be a moment.”

John gave him a small nod, he was still staring at the beer that sat on the table. 

Joseph left him sitting outside and entered the bar.  He took off his yellow sunglasses.  No one was paying attention to him.  They were all too drunk.  Her parents were sitting at the bar.  She was standing over in the corner, holding the championship trophy. 

Mary May was taking a picture of her standing by the logo.  “ _That one’s going on the wall.  That was a hell of a game.  You did a great job, Liz._ ”

“ _Thanks Mary May_.”  She gave the bartender a big grin.

She sat down at a table.  There was a bowl of barbecue chips and a glass of what looked to be soda, sitting in front of her.  Why Lord, was this girl important?  He always tried not to question The Voice.  But this girl would be joining his family and he had no reason as to why.  Maybe she wouldn’t be important to him but to one of his siblings…

This was his chance to speak to the girl, she was sitting alone.  He had never spoken to her before now, out of respect to her parents. 

“Is this seat taken?”

Her head perked up.  She shook her head.  “Nope.”

He sat down in the chair across from her.  She seemed timid.  She was still wearing her purple Hope County jersey.  Sweat rested on her brow.  She looked exhausted.  It had been a long day indeed. 

“Hello Elizabeth.”

“It’s Liz, actually.  I mean Elizabeth is technically my name, but everybody calls me Liz…  Have we met before?”  There was confusion across her face.

He didn’t answer the girl’s question.  “You played very well today.  A lot of other people seem to think so.  But it didn’t seem that way at your last at bat.”

Her eyes grew wide. 

“You heard those murmurs too?”  She scoffed. 

Anger flashed across her face.  She looked around to see who was watching them, but no one was.  She was clearly very smart, always thinking before making harsh decisions.

“I thought I was the only one that heard the sighs when I walked up to the plate.  Everyone seems to like me now that I won the game for them.  Bunch of assholes…”

There was a bit of fire that he hadn’t been expecting.  She was very blunt with people.  She didn’t even know his name but already disclosed some information with him that she hadn’t shared with anyone else.

“You’re not fond of these people?”

She racked her brain, looking for the right answer.  “I mean… I love ‘em.  They’re family you know?  But people around here only like me when things are good.  Wouldn’t want to imagine what would happen if I didn’t hit that home run.”

She shoveled more barbecue chips into her mouth.

“Oh… I never asked your name by the way.  What school are you from?  And I probably shouldn’t have cussed in front of you… sorry.”

It was a lot of information thrown at him at once.  She looked a little nervous.  From the sound of it, she thought that he was a softball recruiter.  But he had much more important things to offer than a sports scholarship.

“That’s alright.  My name is Joseph.  I’m not from a school but I do have an opportunity for you, if you’re interested in hearing about it.”

They shook hands.  It was a name that she wouldn’t remember in the future.  But fate has a funny way of bringing people back together.

Her eyebrow quirked in curiosity.  “Opportunity?  Yeah I’ll hear about it.”

He smiled.  Of course, she was going to listen to him.  He should have talked to her directly from the beginning.  Her parents were too wrapped up in greed to see the truth.

“I lead a large community, a Project, so to speak.   I recruit people who are very special.  And you are one of those people.  It shines right off of you.”

“So, is this like school or a job?  What does this Project do exactly?”

“Well, that all depends on which of my heralds you will work under.  I think you would work well with my sister.  You are very talented, and we would put that talent to use.  All I need to know right now, is if you are interested.”

The girl thought about it for a moment.  He could clearly see the confliction within her, but she would choose correctly, he was sure of it.

“Yeah, I can say that I’m… interested.  I’m really looking to play softball in college, but I’ll keep my options open.”

“Lizzie!”

The girl turned her attention behind him.  Eli Palmer was walking their way.  He didn’t look so happy.

“Hey Uncle Eli!  I was just talking to… I’m sorry what was your name again?” She said.

Eli walked over to where she was sitting.  His voice was harsh.  “Lizzie, get up.”

“Why?  What’s wrong?”  She was still smiling.  She had no idea who Joseph really was.  Eli knew though.  That’s why he had cut their conversation short.  That's why he was in such a panic.

“Get up.”  He practically snatched her out of the chair to get her away from Joseph. 

“Uncle Eli… What did I do?”  The smile faded from her face.  She looked flustered.  He drug her to the other side of the bar and out the door. 

Joseph could hear part of their conversation.  He spotted them out the window.  Eli was scolding the girl.

“ _Don’t you ever go near that man, Lizzie.  Do you hear me?  He is trouble.  I’m telling your parents and taking you home_.”

“ _But…  What did I…_ ”  The girl was almost in tears.  Tears that should have never came to her eyes on a night like this.

“ _I just want you to be safe._ ”

Eli and the girl left.  Joseph was still sitting at the table.  Another failed attempt to recruit the girl.  It didn’t matter though.  The voice wasn’t wrong.  It told him that the girl would join The Project.

It may not be today or tomorrow, but one day she would be a part of his family.

…

**_April 26 th, 2015_ **

**_Silver Lake Trailer Park, Holland Valley_ **

David and Lisa Palmer sat nervously at their kitchen table.  Last week their daughter Liz played in the state championship game for the third year in a row. 

The Cougars lost this year. 

Liz had struck out in the final inning.  She was in her room right now, still bawling her eyes out.  Their son David Jr. was off at work.  David and Lisa didn’t want their kids in the room when _he_ got here.

They didn’t know what to do.  Liz had received many offers from colleges.  But after this last game, they all took back their scholarships.  The recruiters made a lot of excuses, that she was too small, or her grades weren’t good enough.  But the real reason was because she had struck out in that last inning. 

This was the only thing they could do.  They just wanted Liz to be happy.  She deserved to be happy.  She wanted to go to college, but they didn’t have the money to send her.  Hope County was quickly changing.  A lot of bad things were happening.  They didn’t want Liz around to see it.  Leaving Montana was the best option for her.  It would also be the only thing that would keep her safe.

A white truck pulled up outside the mobile home.  It had a black cross painted on the side.  There were a lot of rumors going around about the Eden’s Gate folks.  Rumors that even David and Lisa had believed at one point.  But those couldn’t possibly be true.  Eden’s Gate had been very kind to their family. 

Joseph Seed stepped out of the passenger side of the truck.  Another man exited from the driver side.  He had red hair and was wearing a dark gray T-Shirt.  It was one of Joseph’s brothers, Jacob.  Eli had worked for the eldest Seed brother for a while.  But he quit not long after the stories about the Seeds started to go around.

Eli told them not to mess with the Seeds.  Told them that they were trouble.  That if something wasn’t done about them, there would be a war.  They trusted Eli, but he wasn’t always right.  He was just being a little _paranoid_. 

When they reached out to Joseph about reconsidering, he was more than happy to listen.  They were wrong to have denied his offer so many times.  He had been very kind to their family. 

Joseph approached the door and knocked.  His brother Jacob hung back.  He leaned against the frame of the truck with his arms crossed.  A handgun rested at his hip.  He was clearly the protection if something went wrong. 

David got up and let Joseph inside.  The man that was called The Father was surely a sight to look at.  He wore a black quilted vest with cowboy boots.  And the same yellow sunglasses sat on his face.

“Joseph.  Thank you for coming.”  David said.  They shook hands.

“Of course.  I’m happy to be here.”  Joseph gave them a kind smile. 

They still didn’t know why Joseph even wanted Liz in his project.  She was a very talented girl but not what they would be looking for.  Eden’s Gate was a _cult_.  But for some reason its leader had taken a special interest in their daughter. 

“Would you like to sit?”

He nodded and sat down across from David and Lisa.  How had it come to this?  For years they dismissed Joseph as a crazy man.  But now they needed him, they needed his money.  It was wrong to take money from the Seeds.  When people did business with them it didn’t end up well.  But they were desperate.  They wanted to make their daughter happy.

“I was happy to hear that you changed your minds.”

A few days ago, they had gone to Joseph’s church to talk about Liz working for him.  He had asked what they wanted in return for such an exchange.  They said they needed money to send her off to college. 

It sounded a lot like they sold her off to the cult.  That’s pretty much what they had done.  Liz’s parents thought that they were helping her but, they were only hurting her.

“Well, we just want what’s best for her.”

“As do I.  You’re making the right choice.”

Loud sobs continued to come from her room.  Joseph’s head glanced in the direction of the noise.  Curiosity crossed his face.

“How is she?”

David and Lisa gave him a grim look.  She wasn’t doing well.  A lot of people were angry with her from the events of the game.  People in small towns didn’t really know how to let go of things.  If she continued to live here, it was something that would stick with her.

“She’s still upset from the game.  A lot of people are… But we really appreciate what you’re doing.  Is our deal to the terms that we agreed on earlier?” David said. 

Joseph nodded.  “I have the money that you requested.  Are there any other questions you have for me?  I’d be happy to answer them.”

“So… Liz goes to college for four years.  She’s left alone.  But after that she comes back home and works for you…”

“Yes.  But if she decides to come home earlier, the deal still stands.  The minute she steps back into Hope County, she works for The Project.”

“What exactly will she be doing while working for you?” Lisa asked.  There was apprehension in her voice.

Joseph knew how to read the room, as always.  “Do not worry.  Her talents will be put to use.  You will be able to visit her anytime you want.  There is always room for others in our family.”

Family.  There was something about that didn’t sit right with them.  They had been told that this was a job, an internship.  Not some kind of community.  They should have known better.  They should have listened to all the rumors that they heard from everyone.  The Seeds were not good people.

“Do we still have a deal?” Joseph asked.

There should have never been a deal at all.  But as David and Lisa Palmer sat there and listened to the sobs of their daughter, they were heartbroken.  Liz deserved to get out of Hope County.  These people would never forget what she did. 

Maybe Joseph would forget though.  Four years was a long time to wait.  By the time she had graduated college, the cult might have forgotten about her.  This was their chance to give her a fresh start.

“Yes.”  David shook hands with him once more.

“Very well.  I’ll be speaking with you soon.” Joseph got up from the table and left. 

What the hell did they just do?  They did business with the Seeds.  That was what everyone had warned them about.  The Palmers were in for some serious trouble. 

His brother strode inside carrying a bag.  He didn’t bother knocking.  His boots were loud on the floor of the mobile home.  Jacob Seed was an intimidating figure.  He stood over six feet tall and had gruesome scars that covered his entire body.  This is the man the Eli told them to stay away from.  That he had a personal vendetta against The Palmers. 

Jacob dropped the bag on the kitchen table.  “It’s all in there.  40,000 like we agreed.  You can count it if you want.”

Offering to count it was a threat.  The eldest Seed clearly wanted to see if they were going to challenge him. 

David opened the bag and saw stacks of one hundred-dollar bills.  They didn’t count it.  They trusted Joseph’s word, not his brother’s.  If Joseph said all of the money was in there, then it was.  David gave the redheaded man a curt nod.  He didn’t return it. 

Jacob was staring at a door down the hall.  It was slightly cracked open, with hazel eyes peering out.  The scowl on his face faded into confusion.  There weren’t sobs coming from Liz’s room anymore.  They heard a soft click of her door being shut.  She had listened to part of their exchange. 

It was a small interaction that no one would remember in a few years.  Not her parents, not him, and especially not her.

The redheaded man scoffed and strode out the front door.  They could hear his complaints as he left.

“All this trouble, for one damn girl.”

The Seeds climbed into their truck and left.  David and Lisa sat at the kitchen table, staring at the large bag of cash.  Their daughter belonged to Eden’s Gate now…

They called Eli.  He would know what to do.  They should have called him before all of this, but they hadn’t.  The deal with the Seeds was made now.  There was no going back. 

When the bill came due, Liz was going to be the one to pay the price.

Eli’s truck pulled up not long after they called him.  He let himself inside.

“What did you do?”  He looked angry.  Eli already knew what they did.  They had explained it over the phone.  He didn’t like the Seeds one bit.  He had even started a resistance against them.  They were calling themselves ‘The Whitetail Militia’.

“Joseph brought us the money.  That money is going to help Liz.  Four years from now he’ll have forgotten about the deal.” David said.

Eli was practically pulling his hair out.  “Eden’s Gate does not forget!  The Seeds don’t forget!  You took money from them.  They will not be happy if you try to screw them over.”

“They’ve been nothing but kind to us.  The Seeds are nice people.  Those rumors can’t possibly be true.” Lisa said.

Except those rumors were true.  Everything that was said about the Seeds was true.  Eden’s Gate only wanted to hurt people. 

“Was there anyone with Joseph when he came here?”  Eli pulled his brother aside.  There was fear in Eli’s eyes.  He was searching for answers.

“The oldest brother was with him.”

Eli’s eyes grew wide.  “Jacob?  He was here… Do you know who he is?  What he does?”

There were a lot of rumors about Jacob Seed.  The word was that he was building an army.  He would buy up all the guns and ammo, then show people how to use them.  He tuned people into killers.  But they were all just rumors.  They weren’t true.  They couldn’t be.  There’s no way something like that could be happening in Hope County.

“He’ll come for her…” Eli said.

“But Joseph said four years.”  That was the agreement.  She goes to college for four years and then she works for Eden’s Gate. 

“I’m not talking about Joseph.  I’m talking about Jacob…  He’s the one to worry about, he does what he wants.  He won’t come for her immediately.  He’ll wait until your not expecting it.  Do you know what will happen if he gets her?”

David and Lisa said nothing.

“He’ll take her, torture her, and mark her as weak.  Jacob will kill her for joy of it, all because she’s related to me…” Eli said.

The color drained from their faces.  They were in shock.  It wasn’t an easy thing to hear.  Especially when it was about their daughter.  All they wanted to do was keep her safe.  But they had failed at their job. 

“What are we supposed to do?” David asked.  Truthfully, they felt like terrible parents.  They had become greedy for money and lost sight of what was most important.

“Lizzie can come stay at The Wolf’s Den with me for a while.  She’ll be safe there.”

Eli hadn’t told them the location of their bunker.  It was kept a secret.  Eli said that if they knew the location, they would become targets.  But thanks to their deal with the Seeds, they already were.

“No.  She’s only 17.  She graduates high school in a month.  We don’t want her living in a doomsday bunker…” Lisa said.

The sound of a bedroom door opening made everyone go silent.  Liz stepped out of her room.  Her face was red and puffy.  She looked distraught.  David and Lisa hated seeing their daughter this way. 

She walked out into the living room.  She gave her uncle a small wave, he returned the gesture.  How much of that had she heard?  Did she know what just happened?  The best-case scenario was that she knew nothing. 

“Who was that man?  Did he come here to tell me that I sucked for losing the game.  He probably hates me just like everyone else…”

David and Lisa let out a sigh of relief.  She had been referring to Jacob but wasn’t aware of who he was.  Thank gosh.  She thought he was just some angry fan.  She was still worried about the game she had lost.  Of course, she would be.  Softball was what she knew and loved.  She had no idea what Eden’s Gate was.

“Liz, no one hates you.” Lisa said.

“Everyone hates me!  Anytime I leave the house I get booed because it’s all my fault we lost!  All the recruiters think I suck anyways…”  Tears ran down her face and fell onto her Hope County Softball T-Shirt. 

“Come here.”  Her mother held out her arms.  Liz walked over and climbed into her lap. 

“Is there anywhere else you want to go to college?”

Her head perked up.  She wiped the tears from her eyes.  “Well… There is this one place.  It’s far away but um… I already got accepted.  I didn’t tell you guys about it.”

Liz ran back into her room and returned with her laptop. 

“It’s in South Florida, so it’s really far away.  It’s right on the beach!  And I’ve always wanted to see the ocean!  It looks so pretty.  But it’s expensive… If ya’ll won’t let me go, I understand…”

South Florida.  That was absolutely perfect.  It was about as far from Hope County as they could send her.  Eden’s Gate would never find her there.  They could afford to do it now that they were $40,000 richer.  They already took the money from the Seeds, they might as well use it. 

“That sounds absolutely perfect Liz.  It doesn’t matter how much it is, you can go.” David said.

Excitement crossed her face.  “Really?  Oh my gosh, this is awesome!  Thank you so much.”

“When would you move down?”

“Well most likely in the fall, but there is the one program that starts in the summer.  I think I still have time to get into it.  But I would have to leave like the day after graduation.”

Even better.  The quicker she got out of Hope County, the safer she would be.

“The summer sounds perfect.  Apply to it tonight and we’ll talk about it tomorrow.”  David gave his wife a look.  She nodded, understanding what that meant.  She told Liz that she would go help her apply in her room.  The two women left.

“I’ll have Whitetails placed outside the house all the time.  They’ll keep Liz safe, and she won’t know.” Eli said.

“Thank you for everything Eli.  I’m sorry we didn’t listen to your before…”

“It’s okay.  There’s still time to fix this.  I’ll do anything to protect you, Lisa, and Lizzie.”

There was still time.  Liz would be okay.  They would protect her, Eli would protect her.  Despite Eli’s assurances, there was still a nagging feeling in the back of David’s mind.  A feeling that had everything to do with the redheaded soldier that Eli told them to fear.

“If she’s taken… do you have any idea what he’ll do to her?” David asked.

It was a question that Eli had already answered.  But he needed to hear it again.  He needed to know how dangerous this situation was.  How much trouble their daughter was in.  Even if it broke his heart, he needed to know.

“I know exactly what he’d do.  And that’s what terrifies me.” Eli said.

There wasn’t much that could terrify Eli.  But if Jacob Seed scared him, then everyone on the planet should.  Eli gave his brother a grim look.  One that was filled with hopelessness.

“He would destroy her…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope ya'll liked the flashback. This was one of my favorite chapters to write. Writing from Joseph's POV was challenging but I really enjoyed it.   
> Once things at school get settled down I promise updates will be more frequent. Thank you so much for your lovely comments and kudos <3


	13. Missoula

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's such a strange strain on you.

The morning sun rose over The Wolf’s Den.  It covered everything in a beautiful warm glow.  Liz sat by herself on the rocks above the bunker watching it rise.  Eli had already gone back inside. 

It was a gorgeous sight.  The sunrises in the Whitetails were always beautiful.  She wanted to enjoy it because it would be her last.  Her mind was already made up.  Liz was leaving Hope County today, for good.

There wasn’t a chance in hell that she was going to fight for anyone.  This was not her war.  Hope County wasn’t her home anymore.  There was no reason to stay here.  She was leaving.  That’s all there was to it.  No one could change her mind. 

She would miss her uncle.  They had the best times while she was growing up.  She would always love him.  But she couldn’t say goodbye to him.  He would try to stop her from leaving and tell her that it was too dangerous.  Convincing him to leave with her wasn’t an option either.  Eli would rather die than give up his home to the Peggies.

Liz though, didn’t share that same view.  Only one person had to live, and that was her.  To hell with everyone else.  She wasn’t one to sacrifice herself for a noble cause.  These people hadn’t done shit for her.  They disliked her for most of her life.  Why did she owe them anything now?

She had come up with a plan, well somewhat of a plan.  There were things she needed; supplies, weapons, a car, and cash.  The supplies and weapons could be acquired from the Whitetails.  They wouldn’t miss them.  The car could be found out on the highway.  There were a bunch of abandoned ones, one of them had to work.  The cash would be the most difficult thing.  There might be some in the bunker but not enough to get her to Florida.  She would have to go to Missoula.  That was the nearest city.  She still remembered her bank account numbers.  Hopefully her social security would be enough identification to get her cash. 

The sun had taken its place in the sky.  It was time to leave.  She would miss this place, but for what it had been.  Not what it was now.  Her home was lost to the cult, she just had to accept that. 

Her legs were sore when she stood up.  Sitting on those rocks hurt.  It had been nice though.  Watching the sunrise gave her a few minutes of peace.  That was all she got now.  Just nice moments, nothing more.  Her life had been completely thrown upside down in a short amount of time.  But it could go back to normal.  She just had to get the hell out of here. 

She tromped all the way to the entrance of the bunker.  The door was wide open.  It had also been open when she and Eli went out to talk.  Why the hell would they keep it like that?  The Whitetails were an _interesting_ militia to say the least. But interesting didn’t win the war. 

Her footsteps were the only sounds in the long hallway of the entrance.  When she got to the main room, she heard Eli’s voice.  It was coming from the laundry room; the cameras screens were left unattended.  He was talking on the radio to someone named Dutch, whoever the hell that was. 

Good.  He was distracted for the time being.  Hurry up and grab what she needed and get the hell out of there. 

She wandered down the hall until she got to Eli’s bedroom.  She didn’t have many possessions with her.  Only her cult jacket, bandana, and the iPod Wheaty had given her.  She snatched them up from the bedside table.  They were all coming with her. 

Everyone else in the Wolf’s Den was still asleep, despite it being morning.  Shit like this would have never flied with Jacob.  His army was always up on time and ready at a moments notice.  They Whitetails were lazy.  Which of course is a bit hypocritical coming from the girl who was running away.  But whatever.  It wasn’t her problem anymore. 

She tried to keep her feet as light as possible as she tiptoed through the hallway.  The inventory room was thankfully empty.  There was a small analog TV sitting on the counter.  It was playing the video of her.  The volume was turned off, but the picture was clear.  Elizabeth Palmer shook in the chair.  Streaks of mascara ran down her face and there was fear in her eyes.  Jacob drug her chair closer to him and leaned in.  She tried to recoil away from him but there was nowhere to go.  The little lamb cowered in fear of the wolf. 

No wonder so many people stared at her.  They probably couldn’t believe she was actually alive.  She couldn’t believe it herself either.

Liz felt anger begin to boil inside her.  She wanted to smash the TV into a million pieces.  She wanted to scream and cry about the agony she felt inside her.  But she didn’t.  Be smarter.  That would wake everyone up and ruin her chance for escape. 

Instead, she ran her hands along the cord until she found the outlet.  The plug was yanked out of the wall and the video faded into black, gone forever.  Just like the girl she used to be.  It all faded to black.  No more tears, no more feeling sorry for herself.  She was done with all that.  It was only about her survival now.

There were several lockers on the back wall, next to the state fishing records.  Those fishing records were tough to beat.  Her brother even held one.  She had tried for many years to beat it but couldn’t. 

She slowly opened one of the lockers.  It made a small creaking noise.  She winced, hoping that it wouldn’t wake anyone.  But it didn’t.  Everyone was still asleep.  Inside was at least six AR-C’s lined up in a row.  That wouldn’t be useful.  She didn’t need to get arrested outside the county for illegal weapons possession. 

Three more lockers creaked open until she found what she needed.  She found a tan military looking back pack, a .44 revolver, a small knife, and $200 in cash.  This was all perfect.  There were only six rounds, but the gun would be easily concealed.  She put the knife in her right boot.  It might come in handy.  All of the other supplies were stuffed in the bag. 

Liz put her leather trench coat on.  The cult symbol rested on her back.  She tied the bandana around her neck.  It would be a nice disguise for getting out of here.  One that might not work, but it was worth a shot.  The Peggies weren’t the brightest though, maybe she could slip past them.

She pulled the backpack around her shoulders.  This was it, time to go.  She tiptoed over to the emergency exit.  She could see Dep, Sharky, and Wheaty; all sleeping on the mattresses on the floor of the back room.

Her hands rested on the first rung of the ladder.  She couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. 

‘ _Goodbye Uncle Eli.  I’ll miss you._ ’ She thought.

That was all she could do.  Nothing more.  If she wanted to live this was the only option, the best option. 

She climbed the ladder to the emergency exit until she was out of the bunker.  The sun was already beating down on the mountainside.  She tried to gather her bearings.  Where the hell was she?  After a few minutes of wandering around, she determined which way was south and started walking.  If she got to a road, she could figure the rest out.

Sweat was already beginning to form on her brow.  It was so damn hot outside.  July used to be her favorite time of the year.  Mainly because it was her birthday month.  She used to get excited when that time came.  It was the day that was all about her.  She used to be so selfish, always taking more than she needed.  In a ways she still was, she was abandoning her home in its time of need.  Honestly though, she didn’t give a shit.  No one needed her.  Everyone wanted to use her.  She just needed to protect herself.

Her boots stomped against the forest floor.  There was no telling what was out here; hunters, judges, or any other ferocious animal ready to rip her throat out.  She dug the revolver out of her bag.  It didn’t help much with the last bear, but she still wanted it ready.  The metal was cool in her hands.  She felt comfortable holding it, a little too comfortable.  Another thing that just wasn’t right about her.  She sought solace in a weapon.  It was a tool that was only meant to hurt people.  Just like her.

One tool using another tool, how funny.

Liz walked until she reached the road.  Her footsteps slowed.  This was a good sign.  It would give her some sense of direction.  Now all she needed was to find a car. 

Her head perked up to a noise coming from the road.  She crouched behind a tree.  Hopefully it wasn’t the cult.  When the car came into view, she realized it was just ordinary people.  Letting out a sigh of relief, she stood up.  The gun was still in her hand.

When the car drove by her, she gave them a small wave.  It was an old habit of hers, something that her parents had taught her.  The resistance members in the car though, didn’t share her manners.  The man in the passenger seat pulled out a gun.  He thought she was a cultist.

Shit.  Liz dove back behind the tree.  Three shots rang out and collided with the side of the tree.  The noises echoed through the forest.

“Fucking Peggies!”  The car sped off in the other direction.

Her hands were still cradling her head.  Her heart was beating out of her chest.  She let out a shaky breath.  She didn’t get hit, but it had scared the hell out of her.  That asshole almost killed her.  She almost got shot, again.  Her fist slammed against the dirt in frustration.  Why couldn’t she be more careful?  Be smarter.  It was the only thing she had going for her. 

Okay, so maybe wearing the cult jacket wasn’t the best idea.  But she was more afraid of the Chosen than she was of the resistance.  You would think that maybe the resistance members would go, ‘Hey she’s not shooting at us.  She waved.  Maybe we should let her live.’  But nope, with the Whitetails, it was shoots first, ask questions later.  At least Eden’s Gate gave people a chance to join them.

She stood up and brushed herself off.  Walking out in the open wasn’t a good idea, not here.  She changed course and kept hidden in the tree line but kept following the road.  Her grip was iron tight on the revolver.  She had almost already screwed up.  She wouldn’t get lucky a second time.  She remembered those three things if she was going to protect herself.

Head up, eyes open, and finger on the trigger.

Paranoia started to kick in, her eyes darted at every noise and rustle in the bushes.  But there was nothing.  The woods around her looked void of life.  It probably wouldn’t stay that way for long.  Not in the Whitetails at least.  She kept walking.  It wouldn’t be long until she was in Florida.

Ah, Florida.  She could picture it now.  The warm air and beautiful skies.  Her cushy life where her dorm and meal plan were paid for.  The beach was calling her name.  It was all waiting for her.  She could just forget all of this.  She could forget about him.  Purge it from her memory like it never even happened.  That was the only way she would ever recover. 

But would she ever really recover from this?  She had done things that were unforgivable.  Things that would stay with her forever.  They weren’t gotten over easily.  When she got back, her life would be different knowing that she had killed people.  It would never be the same as it was.

Stop.  She shook the thoughts from her head.  Stop getting distracted.  There was a mission, to get the hell out of here.  Getting distracted is how she’ll wind up dead. 

Her legs were on fire despite only having walked for about a mile.  Her breathing had become a little winded.  You think she would have been in shape after all those laps she ran at the chalet.  But from all that stress and lack of rest, nothing was becoming stronger.  She had just been slowly degrading. 

There had to be something around here.  Keep moving.  It would be so easy to turn back around to the bunker.  Just go back inside.  To give up.  But she couldn’t.  There wasn’t a future for her here. 

Liz walked for about a mile and a half until she found what she was looking for.  A beat down car was run off the road.  Finally.  She checked the roads before emerging from her hiding spot.  She ran over to it.  The glass was shattered in the front and back windows.  Blood splattered the seats.  It was fresh.  This was the same exact car that passed by her earlier.  There weren’t any bodies though.

Holy shit.

In less than an hour, the two resistance men that shot at her were captured by the Peggies.  Part of her didn’t feel bad for them.  She secretly hoped that Jacob got a hold of them.  He would destroy them just like everyone else.  Karma really is a bitch.

She opened the door and pushed some glass off the seat.  The key was still in the ignition.  They had been snatched right out of the car.  She cranked the key.  Low grumbles came from the engine.  It was doing its best to start.

“Come on you piece of shit.”

She pushed in the gas pedal and cranked the key again.  The engine whirred to life.  A big smile crossed her face.  There was hope.  She could get out of here.  The door slammed shut behind her.

Her plan was back into action.  All thanks to those bastards who shot at her.  Bless those two, their stupidity was what would grant her freedom. 

She floored it and headed south.  The roads of the Whitetail Mountains were surprisingly empty.  There were supposed to be Peggie patrols on this road, but they weren’t any.  She had memorized all the routes that had been in Jacob’s office. 

The tires of the car sped along the gravel road.  The tank was almost full.  That was a good sign.  She wouldn’t have to stop for gas until she was in Missoula.  It would be strange to be back into society again.  Could she tell anyone about what was going on here?  Two sheriff’s deputies and a US marshal were taken prisoner.  Would anyone even believe her if she told them?  Probably not.  Even if they did, it didn’t matter.  They couldn’t defeat the cult.  There were too many soldiers in these mountains with a whole lot of firepower.

When she first got here, she came in through Holland Valley.  But the Valley was under complete control of Eden’s Gate.  There would be no getting out that way.  The best bet would be to head out through the Henbane River.  It was somewhat liberated by the Deputy.  There was a tunnel through the mountains in the southeast corner.  That road would take her straight to Missoula.

She passed by a burned down building.  She would recognize that giant screen anywhere.  It was the Grill Streak.  It had been her favorite place to eat was when she younger.  The large screen was playing her video. 

_‘But now the new world has evolved.  Now the lamb does not fear the wolf.  The lamb parades itself around instead of hiding from their predators.’_

“Fucking hell.”

Goddamn it, Jacob.  That bastard really meant it played everywhere in the mountains.  Could she go one damn day without seeing this video? 

Almost everyone in the mountains knew who she was, especially the Peggies.  All because of that video.  If they saw her, it was over.  They would send her right back to the veteran’s center.  Dep had said that Jacob wouldn’t stop until he got her back.  But why?  He had no reason to want her.  She was useless to him. 

There was that damn paranoia again.  She pulled the bandana up, so it covered the bottom half of her face.  Not that having a disguise helped her any other time, but it calmed her nerves. 

She flipped on the radio, hoping to find some peace.  It was turned to the Whitetails station.  Wheaty was clearly up. 

_‘Downed, downed out of my head_

_'round, 'round out of my head’_

Ah, the 70’s.  That was the best time for music.  If only she could have grown up then.  She was born in the wrong time. 

Had any of the Whitetails noticed that she was gone?  Eli probably would have.  He knew her too well.  He would have guessed that she bolted.  The only question was would he go after her?  From the looks of it, he never left the bunker.  He just led, all of the other Whitetails did the work for him.  Eli never stepped out into the front lines.  That didn’t mean he was a coward though.  Jacob was wrong about that.  Her uncle helped people and then asked them to fight.  He wasn’t a coward.  But she still didn’t want any part of it.  Not if she was going to be used.

_‘I'm gonna live on a mountain.  Way down under in Australia._

_It's either that or suicide.  It's such a strange strain on you’_

Damn right it was.  Except, no one but her knew more about strange strains on them.  And she certainly was downed in her head.  In simpler terms, it meant that she was fucking insane.

‘ _Oh, I got a mind.  Over you it's not the first time_

_Oh, I got a mind’_

She kept driving along the roads out of the Whitetails, at about 85 miles an hour.  At least there was one plus to all of this.  All the cops were captured, so no one around to give her a ticket.  That was a pretty terrible thing to say about her ex-boyfriend who had been held hostage and tortured, but whatever.  And besides, speeding was pretty fun.  The car whizzed right by Old Sun Outfitters.  The signs on the road read ‘Leaving Whitetail State Park’.  She crossed a bridge over onto a small island.

Finally, she was out of the mountains.  The further she was away from the Whitetails, the better.  The road was surrounded by fences.  This was where Joseph’s compound was.  Better not stay on this island for too long.  Many cultists had left the compound after the reaping had begun, but she didn’t want to stick around to see how many stayed. 

She still hadn’t encountered any Peggies.  That shocked her, but she wasn’t going to jinx herself.  Just be thankful.  When she reached the end of the road on the island, she saw the sign she was looking for. 

_MISSOULA_

She crossed another bridge and over into the Henbane River.  Only a few more miles to go until she was out of Hope County for good.  If there was time to do one last thing here, it would be to sit and look at the stars.  Find somewhere high up.  But with none of the troubles.  Not fearing that she would be captured or die.  Just one night by herself, where she could look at the sky.  There wasn’t any time for that though.  She would just have to live without it. 

_‘Rainbow's crawling on a midday sun, But I've been lucky you're the only one._

_Sunday's calling, you'll be number one.  It's such a strange strain on you.’_

Everything in the Henbane looked like it had been scorched.  The grass looked more yellow than it had years ago, and bliss flowers were growing everywhere.  Her grip grew tighter on the steering wheel.  Calm down.  Only a few more miles until she was gone. 

She rounded the corner, going way too fast.  There was something in the road ahead.

Shit.

Liz slammed on the breaks.  The tires skidded and screeched across the asphalt.  Plumes of black smoke rose from the breaks.  The car came to a stop less than one hundred feet in front of a Peggie roadblock.  Shit.

Two white trucks were parked sideways in the road.  Spikes were laid out in front of the trucks.  There were two Peggies standing out front.  One man was wearing a black trench coat, just like her.  The woman had red and black ombre hair.  She was a cult VIP.

There was nothing she could do.  She had been going too fast to avoid them.  They saw her now.  They were both carrying AR-C’s.  Liz reached over to the passenger seat to grab her revolver.  Six rounds.  That was all she had.  She couldn’t fight them off. 

Just calm down.  She was in cult gear.  She could maybe get out of this.  Good thing she covered her face up.  They were Faith’s soldiers.  Hopefully they didn’t know her.

_‘Oh, you think of Jesus Christ.  You walk on water but don't bet your life, oh no._

_All you walk is a fine line.  It's such a strange strain on you.’_

The music was blasting out of the car.  The two Peggies raised their weapons.  Well shit.  There was no getting out of this one.  They slowly walked over to her car.  She lowered the revolver, so it was at her side.  The man was at her window and the woman went to the passenger side window.

“Identify yourself soldier!” The man shouted.  The barrel of his gun was in her face.  This isn’t how this was supposed to go. 

“I’m deployed from the Veteran’s Center.  I have work in the Henbane.”

Her breath was hot against the bandana that covered her mouth.  It was a shitty excuse.  But the only thing she had thought of.  Only the Chosen were at the Veteran’s Center.  Well, when she was there it had been the Chosen, Pratt, and her. 

“Your name, soldier.” The man pestered her again.  That was something she definitely wouldn’t tell him.  It was guaranteed to get her re-captured. 

Liz sighed.  It had come down to this again.  Here goes nothing.  In an instant, she pointed her revolver at the man and pulled the hammer back. 

“Drop the gun.” The woman raised her weapon on the other side. 

Here was she again.  A good old standoff.  The decision always fell to her.  Always.  Was she willing to die to avoid going back to him?  She didn’t want to go back to being prisoner.  But she didn’t want to die either.  So, which shall it be Liz?  Capture or death? 

With another sigh, she released the pistol from her grasp.  She would be seeing her good friend Jacob soon.

“Out of the car, sinner.”

The man wrapped his hands around her arm and yanked her out of her seat.  She clawed at his arm trying to break free, but it was no use.  He drug her through the car window.  She scraped on the broken glass.  She hit the asphalt with a thud. 

Fucking hell that hurt.  Her head was spinning and her body ached.  The man sat her up, so she was on her knees.  He bound her arms behind her with rope. 

_‘Downed, downed out of my head._

_'round, 'round out of my head.’_

“What is that?”

“Cheap Trick.  In Color.  1977.  It’s much better than the garbage y’all listen to.”

Damn it.  She really needed to stop being a smartass when she was captured.  It had gotten her into so much trouble.

“Turn it off.”

The woman responded by firing a stream of bullets into the radio.  Sparks and shards of glass flew from the car.  Liz flinched at the sound.  The music was silenced.  Cheap Trick was dead.

“Let’s see that face of yours girl.”

The man yanked the bandana down, so it was around her neck.  The sweaty fabric scraped across her chin.  Her face was out in the open.  Realization flashed in both pairs of eyes peering down at her.  They were trying to figure out the girl who wore their uniform but wasn’t one of them. 

“Woah.  Is that her?” The woman asked.

“The one that Jacob’s looking for?  I think so, but I’m not sure.” He bent down to study her face. 

Liz’s eyes rolled into the back of her head.  She scoffed.

“Oh, come on!  Does everyone seem to know who I am?”

Damn Peggies.  How could she have been so foolish to think that they wouldn’t recognize her?  They all seemed to know who she was.  Just like the Deputy.  Except the Peggies had good reason to be obsessed with Dep.  He had destroyed a lot of their operation.  Liz though only had the right last name.  Or the wrong last name, depending on who you ask. 

Her last name had been both her salvation and her doom.  It was the reason she had been captured in the first place, but it was going to save her life now.

The man and woman were conversing among themselves.  They were trying to decide what to do with her.  They looked confused.

As they stood there and talked, her knees were killing her.  She sat there for about a minute while they talked.  Kneeling in the road was fucking painful.  Despite the aggravation she felt, she started to laugh.

“No wonder you two were stationed up in the Henbane.  Y’all can’t decide worth a shit.  I guess Jacob didn’t send his best men to come get me.  Pity.  I like a challenge.”

Where had this newfound confidence come from?  She had been afraid of the Peggies earlier.  Maybe it came from the realization that they needed her alive.  _He_ needed her alive.  A trophy isn’t that useful when it’s dead.  Why not give these Peggies a little lip?  She didn’t have anything better to do.

“Be quiet sinner.”  The VIP said.  She raised her AR-C, so Liz was looking straight down the barrel of it.  The cold metal in her face didn’t intimidate her. 

“You keep pointing that thing in my face.  You ever going to fucking use it?”

Damn she didn’t know when to stop.  Saying things like that would definitely get her killed.  A scowl crossed the woman’s face.  The VIP raised her gun and smacked Liz in the back of her head.  A huff made it past her lips.  She fell forward and her face smacked into the asphalt.  A few small rocks even found their way into her mouth. 

Liz laughed again through the pain.  Her face was smushed into the road.  She spit out the gravel that was on her lips.

“He’ll kill you for that.”

The VIP scoffed, not considered the consequences of what she had done.  She didn’t believe her.  It was partly a lie on Liz’s part.  Jacob might not kill that woman for hitting her.  But maybe…  He killed several of his men just for saying vulgar things about her.  And it didn’t hurt to make herself sound more important than she actually was. 

The man and woman still stood above her discussing things.  “I’ll go the Veteran’s Center and talk to Jacob.  Just to be sure.  You stay with her until I contact you.  Bring her if I say.”

The VIP nodded.  That was a bad idea on their part.  If the Peggies had any brains, they would take her straight to the Veteran’s Center.  Fortunately for her, they didn’t. 

The man climbed into one of the white trucks in the roadblock and took off north.  Liz was alone with the woman VIP. 

The woman yanked her hair so she back on her knees.  She cried out.  The back of her head really hurt.  It had been a little sore from the incident at the cages, but now it felt like it was on fire.  There were several scrapes on the side of her face.  Blood accumulated on her chin. 

Great.  As if the bruises on her neck weren’t enough.  Now she had scrapes on her face.  It was another mark on her skin, demonstrating the hell she had gone through.

The afternoon sun was beating down on her.  Everything was either covered in sweat or blood.  She should have felt disgusting but didn’t.  She had grown accustomed to the dirt and grime.

The idea of running faded away into dust.  All of her hope was gone.  The decision had been made for her.  As soon as that man got to the Veteran’s Center, she would be taken back to the mountains.  Her dreams of living a normal life again were destroyed.  There was nothing she could do about it.  She could never go back to Florida, a part of her had always known that.  But it wasn’t any easy thing to accept.

The woman was talking on her radio.  She was chatting with Ramirez.  That wasn’t good.  Jacob didn’t interact with his second in command very much, but he was not to fucked with. 

The VIP standing in front of her might have been very beautiful in another life.  But not in this one.  Tattoos covered her arms and legs.  There was also the Eden’s Gate symbol tattooed over her entire face.  That must have hurt.  Why would anyone want the cult symbol on their face?  Like yeah whatever, in devotion to The Father, and all that nonsense.  But on your face?  That was just plain stupid.

There was something else too.  The word ‘ENVY’ was carved into the underside of her right arm.  That might be useful.

Liz couldn’t hear their entire conversation.  Only a few things about ‘ _Jacob’s goddamn pets’_.  Crap.  That was definitely about her.  Ramirez would tell Jacob they had caught her and so would that soldier that had left.  And then she was going to be a prisoner again.  Great.  Just great.  This was exactly how she planned this day to go.

The woman walked back over to her.

Liz gave her a fake smile.  There was still her own blood on her face.  “Ramirez tell you who I was?  Yeah, I know him.  I was a Peggie once.”

She spoke of it like it was long ago when it was only days ago.  Two days to be exact.  She spoke with confidence, like they were gambling, and she had the upper hand.

“You think because you wear that jacket you’re one of us?  You’re a sinner.  You will never reach the Gates of Eden.”

Liz scoffed.  “Oh my gosh you’re so fucking stupid.  There is no ‘collapse’ coming.  Eden’s Gate is a lie.  That’s all it is.  You really can’t believe all this shit.”

Except the woman did.  That’s why their symbol was tattooed on her face.  That’s why she was a VIP. 

As Liz looked at the woman standing in front of her, she saw herself.  This could have been her if her parents hadn’t sent her away.  Joseph would have taken her and turned her into some damn priestess.  She would have spewed lies all day long and been covered in the same horrible tattoos. 

“Shut your mouth.”  The gun was raised in her face again.

“Or what, you’ll shoot me?  I’d hate to be in your position when you have to tell Jacob that you killed Eli Palmer’s niece.  I’m still useful to the Seeds.  So, if I were you, I wouldn’t even look at me the wrong way.  Because you won’t like what happens after.”  It was such bold words from the girl that was tied up.  But it was true.  Every single word.

Anger flashed through the woman’s eyes.  That had struck a nerve.  Ms. Envy had a weak spot.  It would be fun to poke at it.

“Get up.”  The VIP grabbed her arm and yanked her to her feet. 

It took a moment for her to steady herself, but she was okay.  The woman though was pissed.  Liz hadn’t been much of a manipulator before.  Where had all this come from?  She pondered for a moment, but already knew the answer.  It had come from Jacob.  He found out people’s weaknesses and exploited them.  That’s what she was trying to do with this woman.  It was just another unfortunate side effect of spending too much time with Jacob Seed.

“Where are we going?”

“You’re walking the Path.  Useful or not, you’re still a sinner.”

Oh the Pilgrimage.  That was Faith’s path that she made everyone walk.  Liz surprisingly missed the blonde-haired girl.  They had only met once, and she had tried to manipulate her but despite all that, Faith had been nice.  She had acted like the sister she never had.

They weren’t far from one of the entrances to the path.  Liz slowly hobbled along.  It was kind of hard to walk with her hand tied behind her back.  The woman didn’t object to her speed.  She just kept prodding her along with her rifle.  The trail was covered in seashells and blood.  It was a strange combination.   

“If you had any brains at all, you’d just let me go.  Let me walk away.”

Liz turned to see the confused look on the woman’s face.  “And why would I do that?”

“Because I don’t want to have to kill you.”

It was true.  She didn’t want to kill this woman.  But she would if it came down to it.  It always came down to it.  There was no escaping any of this, she knew that now. 

The woman let out a low scoff.  She clearly didn’t think that could be done.  That wasn’t surprising.  People took one look at Liz and made assumptions about her, that she was small and weak.  But they had no idea what she could do.  Or the things she had done.  It was their assumptions that always made them fail in the end.  This woman would be no different. 

They kept walking along the Path.  The Montana sun beat down on both women.  The rope had begun to dig into Liz’s wrists.  She was sick of this.  There was nothing that could be accomplished by walking this damn trail.  She decided to push on that Envy button. 

“What’s your name?”

Liz spun around so she was facing the woman.  She slowly began to walk backwards.  It was a little difficult with her hands bound, but she got the hang of it.

The woman rolled her eyes and curled her finger around the trigger.  “Turn back around.”

“No.  Walking the Path backwards, is still walking it.  What’s your name?”

"Why do you want to know?"

She let out a small chuckle.  "So I'll know what to put on the grave when I kill you."

The woman let out an aggravated sigh.  Seeing that there was no point in threatening Liz when she was needed alive, she lowered her gun.  The woman decided to humor her.  "It's Andrea."

“Probably been a long time since someone’s asked you that, right?  I’m Liz by the way.”

“I don’t care.”

Liz only laughed.  This woman would have a moment of vulnerability only to become hostile again.  That was result from being with the Project for so long.  The Peggies destroyed their members and took their identity away.  So even a simple question like what their name was, rattled them.

“How’d you join the Project?”

She kept walking backwards, careful about where she put her feet.  She had stumbled a few times but powered through it.  The VIP said nothing, just kept her hands curled around her rifle.

“Not going to answer, cool.  I’m going to take a guess that you’re not from Hope County.”

A scowl crossed over her face.  Bingo. 

“I know that because you don’t know me.  If you were from Hope County, you would have known my name and you would have known Eli.  But you don’t.  So, you’re one of the early ones.  What was it that made you join?  Stupidity?  Greed?  What?”

The anger on her face faded into sadness.  “Love…”

Okay, damn.  What would make someone join a cult for love?  Maybe she had been poor and wanted her family to join.  Or maybe she… No, wait.  There was only one thing that would make someone join a cult for that reason, if they fell in love with its leader.

“You fell in love with one of the Seeds didn’t you, Andrea?”

The woman’s silence confirmed her suspicions.

“Hmm…  Not Faith, or Jacob.  Maybe Joseph?  No…  It was John, wasn’t it?  You fell in love with John.  That’s why you joined the Project.”

The woman still said nothing.  Holy shit, she was spot on.  Liz had heard stories of the female cultists that had crawled into John’s bed, but never met one of them.  The thought of sleeping with John made her shudder.  There were things that she just didn’t want to know.  Andrea might have been one of the first women in the Project to fall for John.

“I mean I don’t blame you.  He’s the best looking one of them.”

Under no circumstance, ever, could Jacob find out that she said that.  It would not end well for her.  Sure, _objectively_ John was the most attractive of the Seed Brothers.  But he was way too damn sadistic.  To her, his charisma came off as creepy. 

The time had come to push Ms. Envy over the edge.  Liz was about to play her ace.

“John didn’t want you.  You thought that it was love, but he didn’t.  He used you and tossed you aside.  So you devoted yourself fully to Eden’s Gate, hoping to win him back.  That’s why you’re all tattooed, and that’s why you work in the Henbane.  Because you can’t stand being near him but not being able to have him.”

“You shut up!”

Check and mate.  There was that envy spot.  She had mostly been guessing.  But once she figured out that Andrea was in love with John, it all fell into place. 

The woman smacked Liz again with her rifle and shoved her to the ground.  Liz hit the forest floor with a thud.  Finally, this had been a part of her plan all along.  It had taken a little longer than expected.  She needed to the woman to be flustered and distracted.  Tools couldn’t work if they were broken. 

She squirmed around on the ground, so her right leg was under her.  That’s where her knife was.  She stretched behind her back to reach it.  Her hand wrapped around the smooth wood handle and pulled it from her boot.

“When John saw your ugly tattooed face, he surely didn’t want you back.  You weren’t young and beautiful like he had wanted.  Not like me anyways…”

It had been a cruel thing to say.  It wasn’t necessarily true either.  She didn’t even believe it.  Liz wasn’t that much prettier than the woman standing above her.  But it had struck a nerve.  And that was all she needed.

The woman flung her rifle over her shoulder.  She let out a scream of frustration.  There it was.  There was the envy that would destroy her.  Her story was a little more tragic knowing that John was the one to carve the sin into her arm.

Liz adjusted the knife in her hands and began to saw at the ropes.  After a few seconds of sawing, the ropes popped open.  Her hands were free.  She flexed them and gripped the knife in her right hand behind her back.  Andrea charged at her.  The woman’s hands barely made it around her shoulders when she jammed the knife into her gut.

The woman cried out in pain.  Liz stood up and kept the knife planted inside her stomach.  She twisted it around and blood poured out onto her hands.

“I told you that you should have let me go.”

This wasn’t what she had wanted.  She just wanted to leave, to not fight anymore.  She didn’t want to hurt anyone else.  But it had come down to this.  It always came down to this.  She pulled the knife from Andrea’s stomach and the woman collapsed on the ground.  She fidgeted on the ground, holding her gut.

As Liz stood over the woman she had stabbed, she finally knew.  There was no running from this.  She couldn’t go back to her old life.  There was no turning back.  This was who she was now, a killer.  She was going to fight.  If that meant fighting for Eli, then so be it.  She was going to fight until every single one of the Peggies were dead, or she was.

Tears ran down Andrea’s face.  She was bleeding out. 

When Liz looked into her eyes, she saw her own.  They shared the exact same set of hazel eyes.  Two women with similar paths but different outcomes.  The woman’s name could have easily been Elizabeth Palmer.  But it wasn’t, because Elizabeth Palmer was dead.

She bent down so she was in Andrea's face.  

“None of this is my fault!  I didn’t want this!  This is your fault!  Not mine!”

Not her fault.  It was such cruel words to tell the woman that was dying.  If the woman had just let her leave, this wouldn’t have happened.  But blaming Andrea didn’t help her feel any better. 

“Why…?”  The woman was struggling for breath.

Why had she done this?  Was it for survival or was it for something else?  Maybe it was something to satisfy that selfishness that boiled inside her.  To prove that she was someone important, that she wasn't that little girl anymore.  Everyone had their own sin.  To answer her, she pulled something out of the playbook.  It was a line she had heard from her old pal a thousand times.

“Because I’m strong, and you’re weak…”  She picked the AR-C up off the ground and lined up her shot.  Her finger curled around the trigger.

“And the weak, must be culled.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Downed by Cheap trick  
> Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyN7z1tyWy8  
> ...  
> I think we can all agree that we are all that cult VIP. We would all join the cult because we fell in love with one of the Seeds.  
> So, Liz did not make it to Missoula. Yeah...  
> I hope y'all are still reading and enjoying. I know it takes me a while to get the chapters up, but school just sucks. It takes up so much of my time. If you guys have any feedback on the story, I'd love to hear it. Thanks for reading, as always. Y'all are the best!


	14. The Wolves Are All Around You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did you really think you could just leave?

Gunpowder lingered in the air.  It filled her nose and lungs.  The black powder clung to her body in every nook and cranny.  It was a sickly-sweet smell that left an unsettling feeling in her stomach.  The sound of the gunshot was still ringing in her ears.  A sound that would stick with her for a long time.  Andrea was splayed out on the ground, she was dead.  There was a gaping hole where her forehead used to be. 

Liz should have felt terrible, she should have.  But she didn’t feel anything.  Not guilt, remorse, or sorrow.  None of it.  What was wrong with her?  She had just killed a woman in cold blood and couldn’t feel an ounce of sadness.

Her kill count was up to ten now. 

She hadn’t wanted to do it.  She had warned Andrea to just let her leave.  But that didn’t happen.  It had been nothing personal, only doing what she had to survive.  She had ‘culled the herd’.  She could imagine the giant smirk on Jacob’s face if he knew that she said that. 

There was no satisfaction that came with culling the herd though.  It wasn’t a divine purpose.  It was just a job to do, a burden.  It was _his_ burden.  And somehow that burden had fallen to her too.

Liz didn’t get to run away from Hope County, she knew that now.  This was where she was meant to be.  This is where she would die.

There was no more running.  Only the fight. 

She let out a shaky breath.  She was still gripping the AR-C.  There was a small tremor in her hands.  They were still covered in Andrea’s wet blood.  It was quickly drying in the afternoon sun.  The blood on her chin had already stained her face a deep red. 

There was something she could still do for the woman though.  She had made an Andrea a promise.  She flung the rifle strap over her shoulder and bent down.  The blood flow around her gut had started to slow and clump.  She withdrew her knife and cleaned it off.  Her movements were mechanical, making sure to only touch what she needed to. 

She laid Andrea so that her hands covered her stomach.  She removed her denim vest, radio, and sidearm.  She didn’t have the tools or strength to bury the woman, but she could still do something.  There was a field of bliss flowers a few feet away.  She walked over to the flowers, with knife in hand. 

There was a lot of terrible side of effects to the bliss.  The flowers weren’t as potent as that liquid, but they still made her head spin.  When she got close to them, she started seeing spots.  Nothing strong enough to make her pass out, but it still made her uneasy.  She hurried up and cut a dozen of the white flowers.

She gathered the flowers in her arms and brought them back over to Andrea.  She made a small bouquet and placed it in her hands.  The flowers covered the ugly wound in her stomach.  Liz laid out the rest of the bliss flowers around her body.  Using her knife, she scratched the word ‘ _ANDREA_ ’ into the dirt above her head. 

It wasn’t much, but that was all she could do for her.  She still didn’t feel bad about killing her, but she had made Andrea a promise.  At least she knew what name to put on the grave.

For some reason unknown, she felt compelled to sing.

“We’ll watch the sun come up, from its bed of black.  We’ll enter Eden’s Garden, and never look back…”

It might have been the worst renditions of _We Will Rise Again_.  Her voice was coarse and cracked.  But it didn’t matter.  The only one who was around to listen to it was her.

“Oh Lord, the great collapse, won’t be our end.  When the world falls into the flames, we will rise again…  We will rise again.”

Liz didn’t know if the woman would have liked it, but it was a nice gesture.  Something that might have put her at peace.  Andrea had given her life for her love.  That might have been enough for her.  John would never know about her sacrifice though.

“This isn’t what I wanted.” 

She didn’t tell her that she was sorry, because she wasn’t.  It would have been a lie.  She had done it for survival and she wasn’t going to feel bad about it.  That was the last thing that she told Andrea, even if the woman couldn’t hear it.

This isn’t what she wanted at all.  She wanted her old life back.  She wanted to see her parents again.  To not be plagued by the ruthless decisions she had to make.  But she wasn’t to get what she wanted.  The weak sat around and complained about their lives, the strong did something about it.

That’s what she was now, strong.  Not weak.  No one was going to hurt her anymore. 

She stood and gathered her bearings.  She put the sidearm in her own holster and clipped Andrea’s radio to her belt.  The vest in her hand was a trophy.  Something to present to the Whitetails as a gesture.  So, they would know that she was on their side.  So, Eli would know that she was capable and was willing to fight.

Liz began to backtrack the way she had come.  Her goal was the same as it was this morning, to get the hell out of here.  Only the direction had changed.  She had thought she could leave Hope County for good, but she couldn’t.  There was no way out.  Now she just needed to haul ass back to the Wolf’s Den, before more Peggies found her.  That would be the safest place. 

Static came from the woman’s radio.  Now who could this be?

“Just talked to Jacob.  It’s Palmer we caught.  Hurry up and bring the girl to the Veteran’s Center.  He’s waiting for her.” 

It was the soldier that had went to the mountains.  He had left her in the ‘very’ capable care of his VIP. 

Liz scoffed.  It took the soldier a long time to get to the Veteran’s Center.  How pathetic.  The man probably didn’t even talk to Jacob.  He didn’t want her back.  That was all lies spewed to her by Dep and the Peggies. 

Jacob didn’t want her back.  He didn’t. 

She had outgrown her usefulness to him.  If he did want her back she would already be with him.  There was no real threat.  And besides, she would be long gone before that man got back to the Henbane. 

Right now though, she had nothing better to do.  Why not screw with the Peggies a little more?

“I’m sorry… But _the girl_ will not be coming back to the Veteran’s Center today.”  The vulnerability that she had when singing to Andrea was gone. 

There was a scuffle on the other end.  Sounds of movement were coming through from the radio.  She heard someone grunt.  That was weird.  As silence continued to come from the radio, Liz grew impatient.

“Your VIP is dead.  And the rest of you goddamn Peggies are next.”

Still no response from the Peggie.  Come on, hurry up.  Her threat wasn’t _that_ scary.  What was taking this dumbass so long?  She just wanted to insult the Peggie, so she could get the hell out of here. 

Heavy breathing came through the radio.

“Is that you, little lamb?”

No.

All at once the air left Liz’s lungs.  It felt like she had been kicked in the gut.  Her expression was blank.  Her mouth hung ajar.  She couldn’t think and could barely breathe.  The radio fell from her trembling hand and hit the ground with a thud.  So much for being strong.

There was that coarse voice again.  That rough but gentle voice that she loved and hated so much.  It was attached to the man that had caused her so much pain.  The man that she put her trust in only to have that trust betrayed.

Jacob had that effect on her.  He could take all her confidence and crush it with five simple words.  She hadn’t been expecting to talk to him.  Not so soon.  It hadn’t been long since she had heard his voice.  Two days to be exact.  But it was alarming all the same. 

She tried to speak but the words caught in her mouth.

He chuckled.  His voice had even more grit to it though the radio.  “Cat got your tongue?  Out of all the times you could have shut up, you choose now?  Just when we’ve gotten back in touch too…”

The radio was still sitting in the dirt.  She didn’t bend down to pick it up.  She stood there frozen in fear with her knees locked into place.  Why so soon?  Why?  She didn’t want to talk to him.  No… Not now.  Not after what she had just done, and said…

“You killed one of Faith’s VIPs.  Good work.  I’m proud of you.”

Proud?  Why would he be…  The realization hit her.  Of course, he would be.  She had culled the herd of the weak, the sick, and the unworthy.  He didn’t know that she uttered his catchphrase, but she still had said it.  She had acted like one of his mindless soldiers. 

For some reason she got satisfaction from hearing that he was proud of her.  His praises did that to her.  Just like in the hallucinations.

_Good, cull the herd.  Not bad.  Yes, sacrifice the weak.  That’s it.  You’re a warrior…_

Those were the things that kept her going during the trials.  She was always chasing after that respect.  She needed to be loved and respected.  Always taking more than she needed.  Stop it.  She shouldn’t gain a sense of pride from him.  Not when Andrea’s blood still stained her hands.  Jacob being proud of her was not a good thing.  She shouldn’t be happy about that, but she was…  And that’s what scared the hell out of her.

“You still there, little lamb?”

She took a deep breath.  Calm down.  She bent down and picked up the radio.  Her hand gripped it a little too hard to stop the shaking.

“Yeah, I’m still here, asshole.  And stop calling me that.  I’m not your little lamb.”

He liked to use her pet name a lot.  He probably didn’t even know what her first name was. 

She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of being nice.  He had hurt her.  Remember that.  He threw her into a cage and choked her.  He had given her the ugly bruises on her neck.  He used her.  He treated her like she was his pet.  She should hate him.  Nothing good would come from playing nice.

“Oh honey, you’ll always be my little lamb…”

Everything about that didn’t sit right with her.  It mainly came from the way he had said it.  It almost sounded endearing.  Or, as endearing as Jacob could possibly be.

“But I am glad to be hearing back from you so soon.  I thought I’d lost ya’ for good.”

What?  It sounded like he wanted her back… But no.  No.  That’s stupid.  He didn’t want her back.  He was just screwing with her.  Don’t give in to his probing.  Jacob _didn’t_ want her.

“And you are the last person I wanted to hear from today.  Your scratchy ass voice ain’t exactly comforting.”

He laughed once more.  “Now where did all this fire come from?  I half expected you to burst into tears, _again_.”

“Oh, go fuck yourself Jacob!  Just leave me alone!”  Her voice unwillingly cracked.  Shit.

She let go of the button and clipped the radio to her belt.  Don’t talk to him.  No good would come from it.  She gathered her things and took the rifle off her shoulder.  It would be better to have it ready.  There was no telling what was still out there in the Henbane.  Her left hand gripped the trophy of her kill.

She began to backtrack the direction they had went.  They hadn't made it far down the path.  That was mainly due to her berating of Andrea.  Jacob continued to talk to her through the radio.

“I heard from one my soldiers that you were trying to run away.  That you had your bags packed and everything.  Did you really think you could just leave?”

Liz didn’t answer him.  She left the radio clipped to her belt and continued to walk.  It didn’t take long until she was out on the road again.  It was completely empty of anyone. 

“You can’t run away from this.  Where were you planning on going?  Back to your cushy life down south?  There’s no going back to the way things were.  You of all people should know that.”

There was no going back to her old life.  Not after what she had done.  She did know that.  Her life back in Florida didn’t matter now.  All that mattered was survival, _her_ survival. 

She kept silent.

He sighed.  “So, you’re not gonna’ talk to me huh?  That’s okay.  I’m a patient man.”

Her eyes rolled into the back of her head.  Of course, he was patient.  That was one of his greatest virtues.  It was so tempting to answer back just to yell at him more, but she shouldn’t.  Don’t talk to him.  Don’t humor him.  He would only enjoy it. 

One of the white trucks was still parked in the middle of the road.  She jogged over to inspect it.  There weren’t any keys in there.

Shit.  So much for taking the Peggie truck.  She walked over to the car she had driven in.  But when she got to it, she knew immediately that it was undriveable.  Andrea had fired a stream of bullets into it to shut off the radio.  Oil was leaking out at the bottom and it was still smoking.  Better not drive it, she didn’t need to blow up.  She snatched her bag up from the passenger’s seat and placed it around her shoulders.  It was surprisingly undamaged.

“How’s your good old Uncle Eli treating you?  Is being a Whitetail everything you dreamed of, sweetheart?”

Just ignore him.

It looked like she was walking, fine.  It was less than ten miles to get back to the Wolf’s Den.  Which would only be about three hours if she didn’t stop.  But in her weakened state, it would probably take longer.  This is what she got for trying to run away.

“I’m guessing that you told Eli everything that you knew.  Did you tell him about the _other_ things?”

Oh no.  Her eyes grew wide and her footsteps slowed.  She knew exactly what other things he was referring to.  And there wasn’t a chance in hell she would have told her uncle about it.

“How do ya’ think ol’ Eli would feel if he knew everything?  If he knew that you couldn’t keep your hands off me, about that kiss, and how pretty you looked on your knees in front of me…”

Rage boiled up inside her.  Her grip grew tighter on the rifle.  They didn’t kiss, she kissed him on the cheek.  That’s not the same thing.  And her on her knees is something that he forced her to do.  The stroking his chest just sort of happened….  She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from screaming at him through the radio.  Don’t do it.  She was too pissed to even comprehend that he had called her pretty.

Eli would not be happy at all if he knew those things.  He already knew that she had once cared for Jacob but didn’t know the extent of it. 

“You’re a fool if you think that Eli will keep you safe.  The Whitetail Militia are cowards.  He is a coward.  It doesn’t matter if you have his last name.  The second he thinks you’re a threat, he will get rid of you to protect his militia.  I promise you that.”

Hmm, that sounded a lot like another person she knew.  He got rid of people when they weren’t useful to him and called it sacrifice.  Eli wouldn’t get rid of her… right?  They were family.  But he did care a lot about his militia…  Stop it.  She shouldn’t let him get into her head. 

“So, let’s say you make it back to the Whitetails, what’s next?  You gonna’ sit in some bunker all day, or you gonna’ try and fight me?  Because honey, either way that won’t end well for you.”

Ignore him.  Keep walking.  The afternoon sun beat down on her.  The blood on her hands had dried and left a sticky feeling.  Strong winds blew through the Henbane grass.  The wind didn’t do much to cool off.  Her legs started to burn.  She had walked about half a mile by now. 

“Truth is, you’re nothing without me.  Before you met me, you were just some dumb college bitch.  I turned you into something important.  Eli didn’t do that… I did.”

A scowl crossed over her face.  Fuck him for calling her a bitch.  But the craziest thing was… he was right.  She wasn’t anything before Jacob.  Before she had wasted countless hours of her life scrolling through social media.  She couldn’t shoot a gun, couldn’t fight, and couldn’t do anything for herself.  But now she could protect herself and she could fight.

Jacob did do that.  But it didn’t mean she owed him anything.  He also turned her into a killer.  That wasn’t something that she had wanted.

“Y’know… you can always come back.  None of all this running and fighting.  Don’t go to the Whitetails.  Come back to me little lamb, remember your purpose.”

What?  What the fuck?  Did he just say that…? 

Dep hadn’t been lying.  Jacob really did want her back.  But why?  He didn’t want her like _that_.  He probably just wanted to use her again.  Looks like she hadn’t outgrown her usefulness after all.

“I know you’re afraid, Liz.”

She stopped dead in her tracks.

That was the first time he had said her name.  He didn’t call her Palmer, honey, sweetheart, or little lamb.  He called her Liz.  He did know her name after all.  There was something unsettling about Jacob calling her that.

She took the radio off her belt and held down the button.  Don’t do it.  Don’t give in to his taunts.  Nothing good would come from it.  She should have been better than this, but she wasn’t. 

“First of all, I’m surprised you know my fucking name.  And second, what makes you think I’m afraid?”

“If you weren’t afraid, you wouldn’t have run away.  Your judgement is clouded because you have too many options in front you.”

Options.  That was what he said wolves had too many of.  Once they were judges they didn’t have any options.  He was wrong.  She didn’t have any options in front of her.  He had taken them all away.  Just like one of his judges.  The only option now was to fight.

“But I can help with that.  I can remove that fear and give you strength.”

“I was scared when I was with you, Jacob.  But now that I’m not, I’m not afraid anymore.  I am strong.  Your shithead trials don’t determine that.”

“But who was the one to make you strong Liz?”

Damn him.  She didn’t like it when he said her name.  It made her uncomfortable.

“Not you!”

He laughed again.  “Oh, there’s that stubbornness that I missed so much.  Like I said before, you’re nothing without me.  Just make this easy and come back.  I don’t want to send my hunters after you.”

“What, too afraid to come get me yourself?”

Poor choice of words.  It wasn’t the best idea to be taunting Jacob.  He always took threats seriously, no matter how small.

“Is that an invitation?  Little lamb you know I can find you.  I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again.  There’s nowhere you can hide from me.  Or… you can just tell me where you are.  I’ll come pick you up.  It’ll be easy and painless.”

She let out a scoff.  “You must think I’m stupid or something!  Under no circumstances, ever, am I coming back to you!  Not after what you did to me…”

She glanced down to the bruises that covered her collarbone and neck.  That night had been one of the worst ones of her life.  She still remembered the feeling of his hand wrapped around her throat.  Her windpipe hadn’t appreciated being crushed by his meaty hands.

“Please, I didn’t do anything to you.  Not like I could have.”

“Didn’t do anything to me?  Let’s look at the list shall we!  You kidnapped me, held me prisoner, brainwashed me, used me as propaganda, threw me into a cage, and choked me until I almost passed out.  You _abused_ me.”

It was a strong word to throw out there, but it was true.  Jacob hurt her.  She should hate him. 

“You thought I abused you?  Oh, sweetheart… You have no idea the litany of shit that I have done for you.”

She rolled her eyes.  Yes, not killing her was such a kind thing to do.  He kept her as a war prisoner, all because of her last name.  He could go to hell for all she cared.

“I saved your ass from dying countless times.  You slept by yourself at the Veteran’s Center.  That wasn’t a coincidence, honey.  I put you with the night guards, so you didn’t have to sleep in the same room as my men.  And your buddy Marcus.  You think he was nice to you out of the goodness of his heart?  I’m the one who told him to do all those things.”

Her eyes grew wide at the mention of her old wolf partner.  So, every conversation that she had with Marcus was all because of Jacob.  He told Marcus to ask about her all those questions and to be so nice to her.  He had probably been the one to tell her partner to fix the judge food that night.  Essentially, Marcus had never been nice to her, and probably didn’t care about her.  It was all Jacob.

“And on your… second night at the Veteran’s Center.  A few of my men took it upon themselves to come up with a plan.  They were going to snatch you out of bed, take you out into the woods, pin you to a tree, and take turns with you…”

She was frozen in place.  Just the thought of that happening to her made tears well in her eyes.  Her hand covered her mouth.  Marcus had told her that some men said vulgar things about her and that those men had disappeared.  But he didn’t say that they had been planning worse things for her.

“Now I didn’t want you to go through that.  So, I spared you from it.  I put a bullet in all of their skulls for you.”

A single tear fell down her face.  She wiped it away as quickly as it came.  It was a difficult thing to hear.  Jacob had saved her from getting… from being…  She shook the thoughts from her head.  She didn’t want to think about it.  He had killed more of his men to protect her from something truly awful. 

“How’s that for _abuse_ , Liz.”

“I…” 

What was she supposed to say to him?  He had done more for her than she imagined.  But he had also done horrible things to her.  How could she thank the man who had kidnapped her but also protected her?

She let go of the button and clipped the radio back to her belt.  There was no clear answer on what to do now. 

Did she want to go back to Jacob? 

Of course, she didn’t.  Don’t think like that.  That wasn’t an option in front of her.  She knew what he did, she’d seen it firsthand.  He wasn’t a good man.  It would make her sick to be around that.  He would just use her again and she didn’t want to be used.  There was no way that was happening.

She pushed forward.  Her boots crunched on the loose bits of gravel in the road.  The roads were still thankfully empty.  Who knows that long would last, but she was armed now.  Anyone who tried to come after her would be sorry.

Still no response from Jacob.  Maybe throwing around the word abuse towards him wasn’t to smartest thing to do.  She read the Book of Joseph.  She knew what his father had done to him.  Old Man Seed had beaten him for countless things.  Jacob always took the worst of the beatings for his brothers.

Jacob had been abused and tossed aside, she hadn’t.  She had parents that loved her and cared for her, or at least she did.  He might have killed them.  Jacob had been through some fucked up shit, she’ll give him that.  But that didn’t mean he got a free pass to treat her the same.

Their times together weren’t too horrible though.  But only when it was just them.  Just like when they were on that balcony at Seed Ranch a few nights ago.  That had been perfect, just the two of them talking.  Thinking about it made her feel happy for a moment.  A small smile crossed her face.

But it faded away when she thought of all the people he’s killed.  The sick smirks that would be on his face when he did it.  The nice moments with him always faded away.  Just like the sinking sand.  Always sinking. 

If she went back to Jacob, she would drown in the sand. 

She couldn’t help but wonder though, why he wanted her back.  It could have been a tactical advantage.  She knew where the Wolf’s Den was.  She had only been the Whitetails for about a day.  She hadn’t gained much information about the rat tag group of rebels.  But Dep could tell him all that stuff.  He didn’t need her for that.  Something told her that it was more than tactics.

She walked for another half mile before the question was eating at her.  She snatched the radio off her belt.

“Why do you want me back?”

She waited for a minute but got no response from him.

“Because it keeps going through my mind and I can’t understand why.  I thought I was useless to you.  I refused to make my sacrifice and you said I was weak.  That should have been it.  But it wasn’t because I’m still breathing.  I thought you hated me…  Why do you want me back?”

Still nothing.

Fine.  She kept walking.  Her leather duster billowed in the breeze.  She should be out of the Henbane soon.  Then it would only be a few miles back to the bunker.  Oh, Eli would definitely have some shit to say to her for trying to leave.  It didn’t matter, he wasn’t her father.  He had no say over her actions, only she did.

Her body ached with every step.  She was battered and bruised.  The past week had been hell for her.   She didn’t want to think about all the shit that happened.  It was too much to comprehend.  But as much as she tried to forget all of it, she couldn’t. 

Static came from her radio.

“I don’t want you… I need you.”

What?  A confused look crossed her face.  Once again, Jacob never ceased to amaze her. 

“But… why?  What do you want from me?  I have nothing for you.  I’m useless.”

She couldn’t think of single reason that Jacob would want her.  She didn’t have knowledge or decent combat skills.  She would be one of the worst of the Chosen.  But everyone wanted her on their side for some damn reason.  She wasn’t Dep.  No one really needed her.

“Oh, little lamb you have so much more to offer me.”

“Like what, being your soldier?  I don’t want to fight!  I don’t want any part of this!  I won’t be used by you or by Eli!”

Shit.  As soon as the words left her mouth she wished she could take them back. 

He chuckled.  “You’re not any good at this are you?”

She wasn’t.  Damn her honesty for getting her in trouble.  It wasn’t a good idea to be giving information to the enemy.  But it was so easy to tell him things sometimes. 

“So, Eli wants you to fight for him.  I must say I am surprised.  I thought he’d keep you stuffed in that bunker and not let you out.  But having you fight makes sense too.  He’s ashamed that he couldn’t keep you away from me.  He’ll have you fight and _die_ for his militia.”

“You’re wrong.  Eli wouldn’t let me die.”

“You sure about that?”

No.  She wasn’t sure about anything anymore.  Eli had looked ashamed of her.  Their talk this morning had done little to comfort her, and he gave her very few answers.  He left her in the hands of his greatest enemy for over a month.  He had those cameras all over the mountains but didn’t do anything to get her back before sending Dep.  Maybe didn’t care that much about her after all…

“If you came back to me, you wouldn’t have to fight.  Just tell me the Whitetails hide, I’ll do the fighting.”

Her head perked up.  Not fighting.  That’s what she wanted all along.  But could she live with herself if she was the one picking the targets instead of pulling the trigger?  She would still be taking lives.  It only added a middle man.

“Is that all I would have to do?”

“Interested, are we?  I knew you’d come around.  Just help me take down the Whitetails, tell me where their bunker is.  You don’t have to lift a finger.  You’ll be safe, taken care of, and have a guaranteed spot in the Armory when the Collapse comes.  Save yourself Liz… You don’t owe your uncle anything.”

The offer was tempting.  She wouldn’t have to be anyone’s soldier.  She could just live out the rest of this war with the cult.  Just surviving.  But there was no avoiding the fight.  She would have to fight, she knew that now.  It always found her. 

“That seems a bit too good to be true.  What’s the catch?”

If she knew anything about Jacob is that there was always a catch.  The terms to his ‘deals’ always changed when he wanted them to.  He was silent for a moment.

“You stay with me.”

“Well, yeah.  I mean if you killed all the Whitetails I wouldn’t go back to the resistance.”

He chuckled.  “You’re so clueless sweetheart.”

“Clueless?  I can’t take all this cryptic shit from everybody anymore…  Be direct.  Please just tell me what you want from me.” 

She rolled her eyes.  She wasn’t clueless.  It wasn’t her fault that everyone wanted to be confusing as hell.  They all gave her little cues on what they wanted her to do but never said it outright.  If someone would just say what they needed from her, it would make her life so much easier.

“Fine.  I’ll be direct.  I want you back here with me, so you’ll be my good little lamb.  You won't be my soldier, you'll be mine. And mine alone...”

For some reason, his words didn’t register in her brain.  He couldn’t possibly mean that.  She began to laugh. 

“Yeah, _okay_.  That’s a good one Jacob, but come on… What’s the real reason?  What’s the…”

Her laughter slowly started to fade as the realization set in.

“Please tell me you’re joking.”

His silence confirmed her suspicions.  He wasn’t joking.  He was being serious.  All this time when she told herself he didn’t want her, she was just in denial.  Jacob did want her, and in ways that she hadn’t even imagined.

“Oh no…”  The tremor in her body came back.  The radio shook in her hand.

“You sound surprised.  It thought I made it pretty clear for ya’.”

She was surprised.  Just a little bit.  Just a little damn bit.  It wasn’t everyday that you found out that the man who was your enemy wanted to do some inappropriate things to you.  Things that foreign to her innocent ears.  She didn’t like talking about sex.  It made her uncomfortable. 

“You want that with me?  Why…  I thought you hated me.”

What the hell was going on?  Was she missing something?  Because that last time she checked, Jacob threw her into a cage.  He hurt her and called her weak.  Almost every day of the past month was a living hell for her.  But now he wanted to sleep with her. 

“Is this just because I’m related to Eli?  Keeping me prisoner hasn’t been enough.  Now you want to make me your little _plaything._ Would that finally break Eli if he knew you were doing that to me?  I’m just another tool, right?”

There unfortunately was more than one type of tool.  There were tools that had a purpose and then there were those that didn’t.  Tools without a purpose were used for different… reasons.

Jacob sighed.  “You make it sound like such a bad thing.  But it’s not.  If you came to me, you wouldn’t have to fight.  I’d take very good care of you.”

“Is that why you saved me from those men?  Just so you could have me to yourself!   So, I’d be pure and untainted.” 

“Are you still a…”  He never finished the question, but she knew what he was asking.

Shit.  She couldn’t learn to keep her mouth shut.  Another thing that she had blurted out to him in distress.  Now Jacob knew she was still a virgin.  Great.  Just great.

“What about you, asshole!”

“Oh little lamb, no.  You won’t be the first woman I’ve had.  But I’m glad you told me.  It’s going to make it so much more enjoyable when I have you, knowing that I’ll be your first.”

How had their conversation come to this?  They started off threatening each other, and now he talked about fucking her like it was no big deal.  Blush started to grow on her cheeks.  She felt like she was going to die of embarrassment.  It was a good thing he wasn’t around to see it.

“And no, that’s not why I saved you.  I already told you why I did it.”

“So, you tell me that you didn’t want me to go through _that_ and then turn around and say that you just want to do it to me yourself.  Pretty stupid logic.”

“Despite what you think about me, I wouldn’t force myself on you Liz.”

She rolled her eyes.  Blush still covered her cheeks.  Of course, he wouldn’t.  He probably thought of himself as better than that.  He didn’t mind killing women for being weak, but he wouldn’t force himself on them.  Yeah, that made so much sense.

“No, you’d just throw me into a cage until I caved in, because you think I’m weak.  Right?  That’s how you operate.”

He scoffed.  “I didn’t want to do that.  You forced my hand.  You tried to fight me in front of my men, I couldn’t just let you off easy.  If you just followed my orders, that wouldn’t have happened to you.”

Following his orders wouldn’t have kept her safe.  If she had followed his orders, Eli would be dead.  And she would be a mindless Peggie.  There wasn’t a chance in hell that was going to happen.  She had almost given into joining him, but she couldn’t.  Even if it meant she wouldn’t have to fight. 

“Yes, it still would have, because that’s who you are.  You hurt people.  You hurt me.  That’s all you’re capable of…”

Jacob was a terrible man.  She couldn’t be with someone like that.

“All I’m capable of…  I guess you didn’t know me as well as I thought.  Spend a few days with Eli and you’ll see what he’s really capable of.  You’ll be begging to come back to me.”

“Begging, really? You’re not very good at this are you?” A small smirk crossed her face, gaining some of her confidence back.  She liked using his own words against him.  He wasn’t going to manipulate her anymore.

“Little lamb, I’ll have you crawling back to me on your hands and knees in no time.  You’ll be begging for me to take you back from the Whitetails.”

Telling a woman that they’ll be begging isn’t the greatest way to get her to come back to you.  To pretty much all women, that’s a deterrent.

“Let me make this clear, since you can’t get the picture.  I do not want _that_.  Not with you.  Never in a million years would I want that from you.  Not even if the Collapse came, we were stuck in a bunker, and you were the... Last. Man. On. Earth.  Not even then would I want to be your trophy, Jacob.  So why don’t you just leave me alone and got back to hell you fuckin’ shitface assh…… Agh!”

Liz hadn’t been paying to where she was going.  She tripped on the small ledge where the bridge exiting the Henbane began.  The radio flew from her hand and skidded on the hot asphalt.  Her rifle fell to her side.  She collapsed onto her hands and knees. 

She cried out in pain.  One of the stitches in her leg popped open, ripping off skin with it.  The wounds on her thigh hadn’t fully healed from the bear attack.  Blood seeped through her jeans.  Shit.

“You okay little lamb?”

The radio was lying a few feet in front of her.  Liz laid in the road clutching at her leg.  Her teeth clenched to fight back more screams. 

“Liz… What happened?”  He sounded concerned. 

She threw the rifle over her shoulder and began to scoot across the road.  The asphalt scraped across her bottom half.  She winced with every movement. 

“Come on, sweetheart talk to me.”

“Give me a minute asshole!”  She shouted, even though he couldn’t hear her.  It still felt good to yell at him.  She crawled over to the radio, leaving a trail of blood behind her.

“That’s it, I’m coming to get you.”

She wrapped her hand around it and pressed down the button. “I’m fine.  Don’t come after me.”

“What’d you do?”

“I… tripped.”

“God, you’re such a klutz.” He scoffed.  She couldn’t see him through the radio, but she was ninety percent sure that he rolled his eyes.

“I am not a klutz!  One of my stitches popped because _somebody_ did a shitty job.  It really hurts…”

“You bleedin’?”

She removed her hand from her leg and saw red.  Too much red.  Her wound had opened up again.  Damn that stupid bear.  She sighed.

“Yeah.  Fuck…”

“I’m coming to get you.  Tell me where you are.”

She laughed.  “Not a chance Seed.  I’m not going back to you.  You can go straight to…”  She winced when she moved her leg.  “… hell.”

“Honey… Don’t make this more difficult than it needs to be.  Tell me where you are.”  His tone grew darker.  It didn’t scare her though.  She didn’t have to listen to his orders anymore.  She wasn’t his soldier.

“No.”

There she went being stubborn again.  The smart move might have been to tell Jacob where she was.  But she wasn’t going to.  She didn’t want to go back to him.  Not after all those things he said he wanted to do to her.  There’s no way that was happening. 

“Fine.  We’ll do this the hard way then.  I’ll find you.  Try not to get run over before I get there.”

“Do your worst.”

It was such bold words from the girl who was now being hunted.  But she didn’t care.  She wasn’t going to roll over for him.  He was going to have to put in effort if he wanted her to be his bitch again. 

She turned off the radio and clipped it to her belt.  No point in talking to him anymore.  She could probably do it face to face soon.  Jacob was going to find her, she knew that.  Just like that night when Joseph got arrested.  There was no avoiding it.  But she wanted to at least try and fight him. 

She pulled the AR-C off her shoulder and checked the magazine.  It was about half full.  There was only about fifteen rounds.  Not much but better than nothing.  It may be enough to kill Jacob.  Somebody needed to kill that bastard, it may as well be her.  It didn’t matter what she might have felt for him.  That didn’t matter now.  She wasn’t going to be his pet.

Liz steeled herself to get up.  She took three deep breaths before pushing herself off the ground.  She used the rifle to steady herself.  A whimper made it past her lips.  It took her a moment to get adjusted once she was on her feet.

Her leg was limp as she hobbled across the bridge to Joseph’s island.  Blood continued to seep through her jeans and she winced with every step.  Despite her pain, it was nice to be out of the Henbane.  She spotted the infamous sign on the side of the road.

_MISSOULA_

So much for that plan.  She didn’t get to leave, she knew that now.  There was no escaping this.

There was a driveway a few feet in front her.  It wasn’t to the cult compound.  There might be somewhere decent to rest down there.  She drug her injured body over to the dirt driveway.  At the end of it, there was a small mobile home with a green roof.  That was perfect.

When she got close to it, she saw all the bullet holes that covered it.  And the Peggie symbol that was painted next to the front door.  She limped all the way to the front door.  She turned the door handle, but it was locked.  She walked over to a window and rammed the butt of her rifle into it.  The glass shattered inwards.  She slowly climbed through the window, being careful of her leg.

Inside on the dresser, sat the yellow key.  Oh well, she was already inside.  She looked around.  There were carvings on the walls, lots of them.  They were all bible verses.  Yep, this was definitely a Peggie house.

A picture of the Seeds was smashed on the floor.  Liz picked it up for a closer look.  Joseph sat in a chair and was surrounded by his siblings.  Jacob stood in the back of the photo.  He was holding his sniper rifle, except it was black instead of red.  His hair was a little bit shorter.  It didn’t have that one curl that fell in his face on the right side.

Gosh.  Why did she remember little details like that about him?  Like really Liz?  He was on his way right now to kidnap her.  Fucking hell.  What was wrong with her?  She insults him and plans to kill him, but then thought about what way his hair looked best.  It was just one of those things about him that just drove her crazy.

Everything about Jacob drove her crazy, and not in a good way.  She constantly changed her mind about him.  One second she hated him and the other second, she liked him.  She just wanted this torment to end.  She threw the picture down on the floor.

There were some papers sitting on the kitchen table.  One of them was an unsent letter.

_Dear Matt,_

_I’m so sorry we couldn’t convince you and Ann to make the big move and join us out here.  I think you would have found the air quite bracing, and the quiet mornings restful for the mind.  And of course, Father Joseph’s words are food for the soul.  Maybe bring the kids out later in the year.  I’m sure the quads would love it, and Marty is old enough to join Jacob’s training program._

_May the Father bless you._

_Jody Holmes_

Liz couldn’t help but laugh.  Training program.  So that’s what he called it long ago.  There was nothing about training with the Chosen that made it a program.  It was hell, that’s all it was.

She sat her rifle and bag down on the table.  She found a dirty towel in the kitchen and wiped her hands off.  It didn’t do much to get Andrea’s blood off her hands.  She had almost forgotten about the poor woman she had killed.  The woman she had _culled._ That was all because of Jacob.  He always managed to get her distracted.

Liz shucked off the black jacket and bandanna.  There was no need for them anymore.  He would probably be here soon.  She stuffed her cult gear as well as her trophy in the bag. 

There was another paper on the table in edition to the letter.  She hadn’t noticed it before.  It read, _Living with PTSD:  How to adjust_.  She flipped through it and read though some of the symptoms; hostility, self-destructive behavior, mistrust, insomnia, nightmares. 

Did she have PTSD?  She had been through some shit…  But no.  No.  She wasn’t crazy.  She didn’t have that, she didn’t.  Liz was _fine._ Anyone who said differently could go fuck themselves.  She didn’t have that.  That was what crazy war vets got.  Not people like her.  She wasn’t like Jacob.  She crushed the pamphlet into a ball and threw it at the wall. 

She explored the small bathroom down the hall.  Bullet casings covered the tile floor.  She rummaged through the cabinet until she found what she was looking for.  A yellow medkit sat in the corner.  Thank gosh.  She took the first aid supplies and hobbled back out into the kitchen.  She sat down in the chair.

There wasn’t much in the medkit.  Just a few bandages and a few ointments.  That would have to do.  There was a large patch of blood that had seeped through her jeans.  Here goes nothing.  She wrapped the bandage around her leg and pulled it tight.  She winced from the pain.  It looked like it would stop the bleeding.  Hopefully she would be in a little better shape when he got here.

Jacob was on his way and it wouldn’t be long before he found her.  He always found her.  There was nothing she could do to stop it.  All she could do was sit and wait.  She picked up the rifle off the table and let her hands wrap around the cool metal.

She was going to do the one thing that she hated.  She was going to kill him.  It didn’t matter what he said he wanted from her.  That was not going to happen.  He wasn’t going to take her back.  If that meant she had to fight, then so be it.

Everyone needed her to fight for them, but no one respected her.  They didn’t want her, they just needed her to be a tool.  She was done being used. 

Liz was going to be doing the ‘culling’ from now on.  Her finger curled around the trigger, ready… waiting for her target.

…

The sound of an engine woke Liz.  She sat bolt right up in the chair.  The rifle was laying in her lap.  Exhaustion had taken over her and she had fallen asleep.  So much for being ready to kill anyone that stepped through the door.

_‘Fucking hell’_

It was dark outside.  She had slept for at least half a day.

Headlights poured into the living room.  It covered everything in a blinding white light.  He was here.  Shit.  She scrambled up out of the chair.  Her leg slightly buckled under her, but she powered through it.  She threw her backpack around her shoulders and ran over to the window.

Her heart was beating out of her chest.  Her hands were shaking.  The muzzle of the AR-C stuck out through the broken window.  Her finger rested on the trigger.  She was going to kill Jacob.  She was going to be the one to do it.  It had to be her.

The lights obscured her view of anything outside.  She didn’t think he’d be stupid enough to roll right up to front door.  But he always had a way of surprising her. 

The sound of a car door slamming startled her.  There was a shadow of a tall figure in the headlights.  This was it, she was going to end this.  She lined up her shot.

‘ _Goodbye Jacob, I’ll miss you._ ’

Her finger had begun to pull the trigger when the headlights shut off.  It wasn’t Jacob standing at the doorstep.  She immediately let go of the trigger.

That cowboy hat was recognizable anywhere.  It was Deputy.

Liz lowered her rifle, chest heaving.  She had almost shot Dep.  Damn it.  She had almost killed the resistance hero.  If she had, that wouldn’t have gone over well with the Whitetails.  Jacob would have been happy though.  He’s been itching to kill Dep, but Joseph wouldn’t let him.

She couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed at her last thoughts about Jacob.  She told herself that she would miss him…

“You trying to kill us Liz?” Dep asked.

She let out a shaky breath and opened the front door.  Dep was standing on the side of the truck.  A woman climbed out of the passenger seat.  She had dark hair and scars that covered her face.  She gripped a compound bow in her right hand.  The woman was on several cult wanted posters.  It was Jess Black. 

“Yeah, sorry… I thought you were some Peggies.”

Liz walked down the porch steps, clutching her leg.  Her eyes darted in every direction looking for any sign of Jacob but didn’t see him.  Maybe he just hadn’t found her yet… but that was unlikely.  He said that he would find her, which meant that there was no avoiding it.

“What’d you do to your leg?”

“I… uh… had a run in with Eden’s Gate.  They were trying to take me back to the Veteran’s Center.”  It wasn’t completely a lie.  Better not tell Dep that she had been talking to Jacob.  There’s no telling what he’d do with that information.

Jess scoffed.  “Too bad they didn’t get ya’.  Would have made my day a lot easier.  And I bet Jacob would have been happy to have his _little bitch_ back.”

“Jess… come on.” Dep said.

“We’ve been running around all day to find this a fuckin’ girl and she’s probably working with the goddamn Peggies.”

A scowl crossed her face.  Who did this woman think she was throwing around assumptions around like that? 

“You think I wanted to be with the Peggies?  I was kidnapped!  I didn’t want of any of that!  I’m not Jacob’s bitch.  Fuck you!”

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to be yelling at this woman.  She looked dangerous.  But Liz had killed that VIP, how different could this woman be?

Jess dropped her bow and lunged at her.  She grabbed Liz’s shoulders and slammed her into the hood of the truck.  Her spine crushed against the hard metal.  She cried out in pain.  There wasn’t anything she could do to fight back.  Jess’s fist collided with her face.  A cracking noise came with it.  Something was definitely broken.

“Jess!”

Dep ran over to pull her off Liz, but the woman shoved him away.  Two more punches slammed into her face before Dep could pull the archer off.  Liz collapsed into an injured heap on the ground.  Her whole face hurt.  Blood poured from her nose like a faucet.  Some of it even made its way down her throat.  Great, first her leg now her nose. 

“You’re just a fuckin’ Peggie!  I don’t trust you and neither should anybody else.”

She looked up to see Jess squirming in Dep’s arms.  There was something gentle about the way Dep was holding her.  There might be something going on between the archer and the deputy.  But right now, Liz didn’t care.  Everything just hurt all over.

Some sort of exchange went on between the two.  Most of which she didn’t listen to.

“I think you should leave Jess.”  Dep's tone was grim.  He didn't look too happy.

“Fine.  But when that girl sells you out, don’t say that I didn’t warn you.  I don’t care if she’s Eli’s niece, she’s a Peggie.  See ya’ around Dep, maybe…”

Jess gathered up her things and took off into the woods.  It was crazy how quickly she disappeared.  Almost as if she was one of the animals herself.

Part of her almost wished that Jacob had gotten here when Jess punched her.  That wouldn’t have ended well for anyone.  Dep would have ended up in a cage and Jess would probably be dead.  Maybe she should have told her where she was after all…  It would have saved her from another beating.

“You alright?”

She nodded.  “Yeah.  I think.  I really wished people would stop beating the shit out of me though.”

Dep helped her to her feet.  He threw her arm around his shoulder.  She wiped the blood off with the back of her hand.  She cried out when she touched her nose.  Yep, it was broken.  Jess had broken her nose.

“You have to forgive Jess.  She doesn’t really trust a lot of people.  You weren’t with the Peggies by choice.  I know that, she knows that too.  She’ll come around to you eventually.”

Eventually.  Liz didn’t have time for eventually.  She might not live that long.  Especially if people kept beating her face in.

“She knows how to throw a punch.”

He laughed.  “Yeah she does.”  It sounded like he was speaking from experience.  He probably was.

Dep helped her into the passenger side of the truck.  He put her belongings at her feet.  He climbed into the truck and started it up.  The stars in the sky were dimmer than usual.  Or maybe it was just because there was blood in her eyes.  Either way her vision was wonky. 

There were a few dead judges on the side of the road.  They had several arrows impaled into them, courtesy of the woman who had beaten her face in.  Judges didn’t wander this far south.  Jacob had sent them.  Shit.  He had come after her or at least sent someone.

Her eyes darted through the woods but saw nothing but darkness.  Stop worrying.  He wasn’t out there.  If he was, she would already be with him. 

A beam of light shone into her eyes.  She followed the light and a red dot formed on her shoulder.  Her heartbeat quickened.  It was the laser sight for a sniper rifle.  The red light to a _red_ sniper rifle. 

She braced herself for the impending bullet, but the light was gone as quickly as it came.  She blinked several times.  Did she imagine that?  Was there any light at all?  She looked over to Dep, but he was focused on the road.  Maybe she had just imagined it.  But something told her that it had been real.  Jacob was out there, and he knew that she was with the Deputy.  He probably wouldn’t be too happy about that. 

Dep kept speeding along the small roads of the mountains.  He wasn’t much of a talker.  He had looked upset when he sent Jess away.

They passed the Grill Streak again.  The jumbo screen had electricity but there was no video playing.  Elizabeth Palmer wasn’t strapped to a chair with tears running down her face.  There was nothing playing, only static.  That was strange.

The ride back to the Wolf’s Den didn’t take very long.  Dep parked the truck a little ways from the entrance.  He helped her hobble all the way back to the bunker.  He took her rifle away from her.  Whatever she didn’t need it anyways.

Eli, Tammy, and Wheaty were all gathered around the TV monitors.  They all stopped talking when she and Dep entered the room.  Dep stood off awkwardly to the side.  Tammy and Wheaty stood back as well.

“Lizzie, where the hell have you been?  We’ve been looking for you all day.” Eli asked.

She said nothing.  Her gaze was steeled.  She removed the denim vest from her bag and sat it on the table.  The trophy that she had obtained from 'culling the herd', from killing Andrea.  Her trophy was on display for all to see. 

“You killed a Cult VIP?  Is that why you ran out by yourself, so you could play hero?”

She scoffed.  Everybody had their assumptions about her.  Even her own Uncle.  No one respected her.  They just wanted to jump to conclusions about her.

“Play hero?  I left because I wanted to leave Hope County for good!  I was going to kiss you all goodbye and save myself!  But there’s no leaving….  I know that now…”

Eli sighed in frustration.  He looked angry.  It was a strange thing to see.  Eli had never been angry at her before.  “Goddamn it Liz!  You can’t go out there by yourself!  What if Jacob’s men had gotten you?  They would have tortured you to find out about the Wolf's Den!”

“They almost did…”

It should have been apparent from the blood that was all over her.  Jacob had almost gotten her, but for some reason he let her go.  She couldn't figure out why.

“And that’s why you can’t go out there by yourself.  You’re staying in the Wolf’s Den.”

“I’m not just going to sit in this bunker!  You don’t control what I do!”

The words felt wrong in her mouth.  How did she end up yelling at Eli?  She loved her Uncle.  She shouldn’t be yelling at him.  But a part of her didn’t care.

“You need to stay safe!”

“Oh please!  Let’s not pretend for a moment.  I know how everyone looks at me.  Like I’m on edge, like I’m the cult freak!”  She pointed a finger at Tammy.  She disliked Liz the most.  The woman had made lots of assumptions about her ever since she got here.  “I know what everyone says about me!  I see the way you look at me Uncle Eli!  You’re ashamed of me!  I’m your disappointment of a niece!”

The anger faded from Eli’s face.  “Despite what you think of me, I’m not ashamed of you.  But you’re right... I can’t control what you do.  If you leave you at least need to go with Dep.  It’s not safe out there.”

“Deputy doesn’t want to babysit me Uncle Eli…”

“Actaully…”  Dep interrupted.  “I wouldn’t mind.  If you want to fight, you can.  Sharky and I will take you out tomorrow.”

She nodded.  At least Dep was being somewhat decent to her.  He was the only one that didn’t want to use her for the time being.

“You were going to leave home without saying goodbye.  Why?”

“Because I didn’t want to fight.  Not for you and not for _Jacob._ You two are a lot alike, actually.  You both want to use me as a tool!”

She walked away.  It was a cold thing to say to her Uncle.  To the man that had helped raise her and take care of her.  To compare him to Jacob, who killed and tortured the county.  But she didn’t care.  She was pissed at everyone and everything.  She had just wanted to leave, but everyone stood in her way.  They could all go to hell.

Her body ached with every step down the hall.

“Hey, Liz!”  She turned her head to see Dep walking towards her.  He looked her up and down with a concerned look on his face.  But it was a calculated concern.  It was an obligation to protect and serve, not because he actually cared about her…

“Let’s get you stitched up.”

Dep helped her to the one of the mattresses in the back room.  He removed his cowboy hat and sat down in front of her.  He found out a medkit and went to work.  He used an anesthetic to clean the scrapes on her face.  He placed a few butterfly sutures on the cuts.  She winced every time he touched her.  Damn Jess had a hell of a punch. 

“Your nose is broken.”

She sighed.  “I figured.”

“It’ll take a little bit, but you just to have to let it heal.  Try not to touch it.”

She nodded.  That would be a little difficult, but she could manage.

“I’m going to have to look at your leg…”  There was a bit of apprehension in his voice.  Oh no.  Her injury was on her thigh.  She knew what that meant.  At least she wasn’t the only one uncomfortable with the idea.

Liz shucked her pants down to her knees.  Thankfully her flannel shirt covered most of her underwear.  Blush started to grow on her cheeks again.  But Dep’s gaze wasn’t lustful or longing, it was just calculated.  It still made her a little uncomfortable though.

There were three long lacerations on her leg.  One of them had torn open.  Dep carefully began to stich it back up.

“Jacob threaten you again?”

Her head perked up.  “Yeah.  How did you…”

She searched his face for answers.  Dep didn’t answer her question.  But of course, Dep would know.  He’d met Jacob, he knew what he did.  It was nice to have someone who understood, even if they weren’t that close.  He didn’t judge her for having spent so long with Jacob.  Dep was nicer than she thought.  He was a good guy.

“You still up for tomorrow?” 

“Yeah.  I think so.  I can’t just sit around.  I need the work.”

“We’ll see if you got what it takes to be a Gun for Hire.  If not don’t worry about it, there’s other places you can help out.”

He continued to stich up her leg.  His stiches were sloppy, but they looked like they would hold.  This felt so familiar.  Except there weren’t blue eyes to distract her and a touch that set her ablaze. 

“Who patched you up before?”

“A Peggie medic.”  Lies.  All lies, but Dep didn’t question it thankfully. 

“Well, whoever they were, they did a hell of a job.”

Liz couldn’t help but laugh.  A small smile made it across her lips.

“Yeah, he did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm sorry that it takes me so long to update. I literally work on the chapter like every day. I only get like 1k words written a day, so a chapter like this that is about 10k takes a little while.  
> I slowly make progress on chapters like every day. So please just be patient with me. I hope ya'll are still enjoying the story. I love every single one of you that are reading <3  
> ...  
> I know A LOT happened in this chapter. I felt like it was kind of a whirlwind but any times Jacob and Liz interact it's a whirlwind.  
> -Liz and Jacob finally reunited!! Well, over radio, but they're still talking to one one another. I felt like this was their first "real" conversation. This is the first time that they have talked as equals.  
> -Also Jacob had some 'confessions' to make to his little lamb ;)  
> -And like I hate to see her fight with Eli, but Jacob really got in her head.  
> ...  
> Y'all please, please, please, leave me feedback. I thrive on it. I love reading your comments about things you liked and didn't like.  
> Thank you guys so much again for reading!


	15. Gun for Hire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liz Palmer: The Home Run Hitter

“Is there a specific reason we’re in Holland Valley?” Liz asked.

The wind blew through the short grass.  This was the home of her childhood.  The Valley was always calm compared to the other parts of the county, but as a child she though it was boring.  She had preferred the mountains or the river.  Now after everything that had happened to her in the Whitetail Mountains, not so much.

The last time she had been in the Valley was when she went to Seed Ranch.  The Valley was the heart and soul of Hope County.  It was still under Eden’s Gate control.  There wasn’t any resistance built up at all.

Dep and Sharky were leaning against the tailgate of the truck.  The truck was parked under a tree off the side of the road.  The two boys looked like a pair of best friends.  They practically didn’t go anywhere without each other. 

They shared a look between the two of them.  Who knows what that meant.  They were probably scheming something.

“Yeah of course.”

“So, are we not going to help out Fall’s End?  They’re kinda under John’s control.”

“Nah… they’re fine.  We’ll get to them eventually.” Dep said.

Her eyebrow quirked in curiosity.  Damn, Dep could be stone cold.  But he had a point.  There were other people that needed help around Hope County.  Fall’s End wasn’t the most important, they were only controlled by John.  He was by far the least threatening of the Seeds.  Especially compared to his older brother…

“Oh, okay.  I’m cool with that, but I was just checking.  Why are we really out here though?”

“Chika’ we’re out here to see if you got what it takes to be a Gun for Hire!” Sharky said.

Guns for Hire was what Dep called his posy of fighters.  Sharky had explained it to her in the car on the ride over.  They all had special skills that they used to fight the cult.  He had seemed more excited over the group than Dep had.  For some reason Dep said she could join them.  She didn’t have many skills, so this probably wouldn’t end up working out.  But it was worth a shot.

“What do I have to do to be a _Gun for Hire_?”

“You gotta’ show us what you’re made of.”

She glanced over to Dep.  “You okay with him leading this?”

He shrugged his shoulders.  “Most of the time when I recruit someone, I have to do something for _them_.  But you kind of offered.  So yeah, this is pretty great actually.  It gives me a break for once.  Take it away Sharky!”

“As I was saying… to join our super-duper awesome group of badasses, you have to prove yourself.  You have to show us at least two skills before we can deem you a badass.”

Liz couldn’t help but laugh.  The idea of it was a little silly.  She didn’t think of herself as a badass but maybe she could prove something to the boys.

“I’m serious chika’!”  He looked a little offended that she wasn’t taking it seriously.  It only made her laugh more.

“Okay.  Okay…”

What skills did she have?  She could shoot guns, but that not that well.  She wasn’t a marksman, stealthy, or a brute force.  But she was smart.  She had memorized all those papers in Jacob's office.  She knew how to manipulate the enemy.  It wasn’t fighting but that was still useful information in a war.  Somebody had to be at the top making the plans.  The strategists were usually the leaders though, not the fighters.

“I know about the cult.  I can tell you where every roadblock, reaping truck, and supply vehicle is in the mountains.  And I can tell you everything you need to know about Jacob’s operation.”

“So, you’re a little spy.  I guess that can be your first skill, _Peggie Intel_.  What else ya’ got?”

It had to be something that made her special.  All of the other Guns for Hire specialized in some sort of weapon.  If she could have one weapon of choice to fight what would it be? 

She pondered over the question for a moment.  She thought back to her childhood.  To the one thing that she worked at every day.  The thing that had been her purpose for being for as long as she could remember.  A big grin crossed her face.

“I can hit things really hard with a bat.”

Dep smirked.  “We were hoping you would say that.”

He reached into the back of the truck and pulled out a hitting tee and a bucket of yellow balls.  Her smile grew.  Years ago, softball had been her entire life.  But she didn’t play it when she moved away.  It had been a long time since she had seen a softball.  Way too long.

Dep set up the tee.  He also pulled out an aluminum bat out of the truck and handed it to her.  Liz surveyed the cool metal in her hands.  Oh, how she missed this.

“How’d you guys know I used to play softball?”

“Eli told us.”

A small pang of guilt went through her.  Of course, he would have.  That was the kind of thing that Eli always did for her.  She had screamed at him last night.  He kind of deserved it.  He wanted to use her.  But that still didn’t mean that she had wanted to yell at him.

“So, what do I have to do?” 

“If you can hit a ball into _that_ sign…”  He pointed to the giant billboard across the street.  She hadn’t even noticed it when they pulled up here.  It was one of John’s giant billboards.  It read:

_‘We Love You and We Will Take You’_

“More specifically into John’s face, we’ll make you a Gun for Hire.”

It also had a giant photo of John with his signature smirk.  His smile gave her the creeps.  Oh, John.  He was so fucking dramatic.  Well… no more dramatic than Mr. Cull the Herd.  But that was a debate for another time.

“That’s it?”  She looked at the two men curiously. 

“Yep!  Sharky wanted to set the billboard on fire, but I figured we’d let you have first crack at it.”

Dep set a ball on the tee and sat on the bucket across from her.  She glanced over to the giant sign.  Hit a ball into John’s face.  Yeah, she could do that.  This was going to be fun.

She took a couple steps back and did a practice swing.  She winced slightly.  Her leg felt a lot better than it did yesterday, but it still hurt a little. 

“You okay?” Dep asked.

She nodded.  After moving it around a little, the pain in her leg subsided.  “Yeah, I’m good.”

She took a few more practice swings before stepping back up to the tee.  The bat lightly swayed over her shoulder.  She took a step and swung with as much force as she could muster.  The ball zoomed across the road and landed in the woods somewhere far away from the sign.  Shit.  She was a little rusty.  She sighed in frustration.

Dep put another ball on the tee.  “Hey, don’t sweat it.  Got a whole bucket still.”

The next two balls soared over the sign, nowhere near the target.  She adjusted her stance to put more weight on her uninjured leg.  With each swing it slowly came back to her. 

It wasn’t until the fifth swing that she hit the sign.  It hit the word ‘Love’ and bounced off to the side.  The fact that it hit that word, satisfied her for some reason.

“Way to go shortie!” Sharky yelled.

She fell into a rhythm.  She channeled the rage that had been building up for the past month and a half.  Each ball represented something in her mind.

Being captured.  Almost getting thrown off a cliff.  Only you.  Pratt.  Her parents taking money from the Seeds.  No one telling her about the cult.  That stupid bear.  Kissing Jacob’s cheek.  Being used as propaganda.  Eli wanting to use her too.  The Whitetails.  Killing Andrea.  Jess Black.

All things that had caused her so much pain.  Those were the things that had destroyed her.  And turned her into a hollow shell of the girl she used to be.  With each crack of the bat, those things got to feel an inkling of the pain that she had felt.

The softballs littered dents and cracks in John’s sign.  But she still hadn’t hit his face yet.

Dep looked into the bucket and loaded up the tee.  “There’s only about three left.  Make these count.”

Liz took a deep breath.  She pictured this ball with red hair and wearing camo.  This ball she appropriately dubbed ‘Jacob’.  This was for everything that he had done to her.  For all the insults, pet names, manipulations, and for making her actually care about him.  She imagined herself smashing his face in with the bat.  It was more satisfying that way.

She released all her rage into her swing.  A deafening crack rippled through the woods.  The ball flew from the tee and soared towards John’s billboard.  It hit the billboard directly in John’s face.  The force was so great that the ball splintered through the wood and went out the other side.  There was a gaping hole where John’s mouth used to be.  It looked like John had a shocked face.

Liz, Dep, and Sharky all stood around in shock as well.  Their mouths hung agape. 

Dep was the first to break the silence.  “That was the greatest thing I have ever seen!”  

The trio burst into a fit of laughter.  It was very entertaining to see John’s sign be desecrated.  The boys high-fived her.  What she had done was pretty awesome indeed. 

“Man, you really knocked the smirk right off John’s face!” Sharky said.

Liz felt her anger melt away.  There was nothing lingering anymore.  There would still be scars that would never heal.  But this was a first step.  Hitting softballs had helped.  The _distractions_ helped.  Maybe there was a bit of the old Elizabeth Palmer left after all.

Dep stepped forward.  “Well I’m a man of my word.  Welcome to the Guns for Hire.”  He pondered for a moment.  “Liz Palmer.  The… Home Run Hitter.”

The name was absolutely perfect.  There was no one better than hitting home run, or cult signs, than her.  For the first time in a long time, she didn’t feel suffocated.  She wasn’t sinking.  The Whitetails weren’t all that bad.  The boys liked her.  That could be enough.

Dep handed her a black baseball cap that he found in the truck.  She took it from him and placed it on her head.  Why not?  It completed the look. 

Being a Gun for Hire felt really good.  It almost made her forget everything that happened yesterday.  Almost…  But there was no forgetting the gunshot that had rung out in the Henbane.  Or the life that had faded from Andrea’s eyes. 

“Chika’ you have officially reached badass-status.”

She laughed.  The events of yesterday fading from her mind.  “Thanks, you guys.”  She glanced back over to the gaping hole in John’s billboard.  Yeah, he deserved that.  If only they had time to go wreck all of John’s signs.

“Alright let’s head back to the mountains before John catches wind of this.  Wouldn’t want to get marked.” Dep said. 

They all loaded back up into the truck.  Liz rode in the backseat.  Dep backed the truck up and took off back to the Whitetail Mountains. 

“Hell yeah!  Crank the tunes.  Not that Peggie shit though…”  Sharky flipped through the radio stations.

“Hey, some Peggie songs are actually pretty catchy.”  _Build a Castle_ and _Keep Your Rifle By Your Side_ were her favorites.  

“Yeah that’s cause you’ve been with them so long chika’.  We’ll show you good music.”

“What type of music do you like?  Some shit like  _disco_?”

Sharky began to laugh nervously.  He rubbed the back of his neck.  Oh, he was hiding something.  He had an easy tell.  “And what if I did?  What would be so wrong with that?”

She shook her head and chuckled.  “Absolutely nothing, Sharky.  Just don’t make me listen to it.”

He continued to flip through the stations and turned to disco, despite her protests.  The rhythm was a little too upbeat for her.  She much preferred the rock and roll of the 70’s.  But she listened to Sharky’s music without protest.  She was kind of the new kid in the Guns for Hire.  She didn’t have much say.

They didn’t drive for very long until they were back in Jacob’s region.  It was afternoon by now.  This time yesterday she had been trying to run away.  The idea of running all seemed so distant now.  There was no leaving, only fighting.  She could fight with Dep and Sharky.  Being a Gun for Hire was feasible.  Dep would be the one telling her what to do instead of Eli, but that was fine.  He was nice and seemed decent.

After sitting in the backseat for about fifteen minutes, her legs began to feel cramped.  Sharky’s seat was moved back further than it was this morning.

“Sharky?  Can you move your seat up?”  She tried to say it as politely as possible.

“Nah.  I’m good shortie but thanks for the suggestion.”

Her mouth fell open.  “What do ya’ mean you’re good?  Move your seat up!  Your fat butt is crushing me!”

“Hey!  You could have sat behind Dep, but you didn’t.  And I have a nice butt.  You’re just jealous.”

Sharky pushed his seat back even further, just to be petty.  Her legs were completely crushed by the seat.  She let out a sigh of frustration.  Now this is what fighting with her brother felt like.  But wasn’t Sharky like a grown ass man?  He should be more mature than this.  But if he was going to play petty, so was she.

“Move your seat up!  And what is this stupid song anyways!  Disco has to be some of the worst music!”

“Now hold up lil sis.  I’m okay with you insulting me but you can’t go insulting disco.  It is the hottest music ever created.”

He turned his head towards his best friend.  “See Dep I told you she’d make fun of me!”

She rolled her eyes.  She hadn’t been making fun of him for liking disco.  She just wanted him to move his seat.

“Sharky move your seat up.”  Dep was kind of the honorary dad to all of the Guns for Hire.  He had to keep everyone in line and happy.  I guess that’s the price if you want someone to light people on fire for you.

Sharky moved his seat up to a reasonable distance.  Her legs could finally breathe. 

“Liz, apologize.”

“But I didn’t…”

Dep cut her off.  "Do it."  He really was the ‘dad’ friend.

“I’m sorry I made fun of disco.”

That was the end to their petty argument.  After a few minutes she forgot what they had been arguing about.  She stared out the window.  There was no telling what Dep had planned for the day.  Probably rescuing civilians and things like that.  But with those two, there was always some surprise.

No one talked for a bit.  This was the worst time for her, when she was alone with her thoughts.  There were no distractions.  Her foot slightly bounced.  Sitting and waiting in silence was her least favorite thing.  She used to like the quiet periods.  Back in college, she would always try to be alone for as much as possible.  But now she couldn’t be alone.  The still times were too suspenseful. 

Work was okay.  Arguing was okay.  Fighting was okay.  But sitting was the worst.  This was what soldiers must feel like in war.  Always jumping at every sound in the bushes.  Looking around in places for threats that would never come.  Sometimes the fight was easier than the waiting. 

She rolled down her window.  A pungent stench hit her harder than she expected.  It smelled like death.  The kind of thing that lingered in the air.  The smell was so thick that it made it hard to breathe.  Wheaty had been complaining about the stench this morning.  But she hadn’t smelt anything like it until now. 

Why hadn’t she smelled it before?  She had been in the mountains for a while.  Maybe it was that they were lower in altitude than she was used to.  They were currently in the Southeast side of the mountains.  She hadn’t been over in this area.  The Veteran’s Center was further north than this.  It could possibly be because the Valley smelled different.  Or maybe her nose had grown accustomed to the stench and she had bigger problems to worry about at the time.  It was probably all of those things combined.  Either way, the Valley smelled a lot better than the mountains.  It was hard to shake the smell now that she was aware of it.

She recognized the road that they were on.  “Hey, Dep.  There’s a reaping truck up ahead.”

He nodded and pulled off the side of the road.  The red glow of a flare was about a hundred feet in front of them. 

“Chika’ can you pass me my shotgun?” Sharky said.  Their silly little argument had been long forgotten.  It was time to get to work.

She grabbed it out of the seat next to her and passed it up.  The boys climbed out of the truck without a word.  It was like that with them sometimes.  They had a mutual understanding of what needed to be done.  It was something that she would probably learn in time.  She grabbed her bat and hopped out of the backseat. 

“Fucking Peggies just over there.” Sharky whispered.

The trio snuck forward in the tree line.  There were only two Peggies.  They were patrolling the white truck.  Sitting there in the woods, she was so grateful that she bothered to memorize all those maps.  It was paying off now.

They came to a stop within fifty feet of the truck.  Dep stayed silent but was zeroed in.  He pointed to her and then to the two guards.

“Me?”

Why did Dep want her to take them out?  Wasn’t he more qualified?  Her questions were not met with any real answers.  Dep simply nodded, which confirmed her suspicions.  This was part of being a Gun for Hire though.  If Dep told her to do something, she had to do it. 

Liz took a deep breath.  The aluminum bat was wrapped in her hands.  She could do this.  This is what she had wanted.  She wanted to fight, so now she got to.

The two guards were positioned on opposite sides of the truck.  It wouldn’t be too hard to take them out.  This would be an easy takedown.  In and out.  When one guard had his back turned, she made her move.

She slowly crept out of the tree line.  Her footsteps were surprisingly silent.  The men took no notice to her approaching.  They were too focused on the shipment. 

Sweat grew on her palms, it wasn’t because she was afraid.  Killing was second instinct for her now.  It wasn’t something that she would feel bad about.  But it still wasn’t an easy thing to do.  She was within a foot of the first man.  She raised her bat high and swung down hard.  The bat collided with his head.  He fell to the ground with a thud.  The back of his skull was crushed.  That made eleven.

The other guard was still unaware to her presence.  She snuck around to the other side.  The man went down with the same crack of the bat.  He made twelve people she had killed. 

The stench of death seemed even stronger now.  And she had just contributed to the carnage.  But she didn’t feel guilty about it.  Those men had been weak.  They probably deserved it. 

The silver bat was tainted red with blood.  She flipped it outwards to get some of the blood off.  It didn’t do much.

Dep and Sharky emerged from the woods. 

“Heck yeah!  Nice work shortie!”

She smiled.  It was more forced than it had been earlier.  Liz didn’t feel bad or guilty about killing those men.  But she wasn’t _happy_ about it either.  It was something that she had to do.  She knew that now.  It was a part of that burden she carried.  Just a job, nothing more.

Dep walked over to the truck and flipped a switch on the side.  The truck whirred to life.  The back doors opened, and a ramp lowered.  Stealing whatever was in that truck would help the resistance.  Not by much, but every point against the Peggies counted for something.

Inside the truck was a bunch of boxes and three ammo crates stacked on top of one another.  Dep filled his weapons up and stuffed his pockets. 

Liz walked up the ramp of the truck.  “What, not enough ammo at the Wolf’s Den?”

“There is… but if you saw what your uncle charges me, you’d understand.”

A confused look crossed her face.  “Eli charges you for ammo?”

“Oh yeah!  It’s freaking crazy around here.  You think being a cop, they would give me a little leeway but, nope.  I swear this whole county is trying to price gouge me.”

Oh, poor Dep.  She had struggles, but Dep’s seemed to beat hers by a long shot.  He was wanted by every cultist and herald.  Liz was just thankful that she wasn’t the Junior Deputy.  Sometimes she forgot that Dep was a cop, despite his nickname.  It was just strange to think about a cop going on a killing massacre throughout the county. 

She walked back down the ramp of the truck.  Dep followed her.  He walked over to the two men and began to rummage through their pockets.

“You’re looting the bodies?” Her eyebrow quirked.

Dep perked his head up.  He had already pulled out a couple hundred bucks from the men.  “Yeah…”

“Don’t worry, he does that.  Dep knows his way around a corpse.”

“Oh, okay…”  Dep really was desperate for cash.  If the resistance had any brains at all, they would give their hero anything he desired.  But it didn’t appear to be that way. 

“Shark, bring the truck around.”

“You got it amigo!”  Sharky retreated into the woods to get the truck. 

Liz had to constantly reminded herself that she was okay.  That this was a good thing.  That being a Gun for Hire was the right choice.  It was better than being Jacob’s soldier again…  But as many times as she laughed or told herself this was right, she couldn’t shake this feeling.  It felt a lot like she was working for the wrong side. 

Not that she believed in the Father or Eden’s Gate, but this sometimes felt wrong.  With the Peggies there was structure.  Everyone had their own role.  With the Whitetails it was just pandemonium.  They made Dep and his posy do everything.  The rest of the Whitetails sat in the bunker and did nothing.

There she went again being lost in thought.  Stop it.  Over-analyzing every little situation would not help her.  She was doing the right thing being a Gun for Hire.  That was going to be the end of it.

It wasn’t long until Sharky pulled around.  Dep was done looting the bodies by then.  Everyone climbed back in the truck.  He made Sharky get back in the passenger seat.

“So, where to now?” She asked.

Dep pulled out his map of Hope County.  There were a million markings on it; of outposts, locations, people who needed help, and the cult properties that she had told him about.  He surveyed the map a minute.  He pointed to a blue star on the map and whispered to Sharky.

There they went again, scheming something.  Liz had enough trouble growing up with one older brother.  Now she had the equivalent of three.  They were difficult to deal with sometimes. 

“Guys… what are we doing?”

They guys said nothing.  Dep simply started the truck and sped off through the mountains.  They laughed among themselves.

“Fine.  Nobody tell me.”  She started out the window.  The terrible smell had somewhat faded in her mind.  If she didn’t think about it, she didn’t smell it. 

Dep didn’t drive very far before stopping at their destination.  The trio got out of the truck.  They were close to the lumber mill.  The roads were dirt and they were high up in altitude. 

It wasn’t until she walked around to the other side of the truck that she knew the reason they were here.  She saw two pallets that had the American flag painted on them.  Accompanied by a large American flag with smaller flags surrounding it.  In the middle sat a shrine to Clutch Nixon, the great stuntman on Earth.

“Oh, no!  Dep… Please tell me you’re not going to do a Clutch Nixon stunt!”

Dep only smiled.

“I know a bunch of morons who have almost gotten killed trying to recreate these!  What happens if you die huh?  The rest of us would be fucked.”  Her brother and Pratt were included in the group of morons.  They almost drove their ATV over a cliff about five years ago.

She didn’t really care for Dep _that_ much.  She would be sad if he died, yes.  But she didn’t want Dep to get hurt because the blame might get transferred to her.  That wouldn’t look well if she showed back up at the Wolf’s Den without the resistance hero.  People were already pointing fingers and calling her a Peggie.  She didn’t need to add fuel to the flames.

He patted her on the shoulder and walked over to inspect the shrine.  “Relax, Liz.  I’ve done plenty of these before.  And besides if I do it, I’ll get paid.”

She scoffed.  “You’re really just in this for the money, huh?”

She couldn’t believe him.  Dep was willing to risk his life countless times just for the thrill.  Maybe this was what Jacob had been talking about that the Whitetails were cowards.

“Nah.  Mostly to protect and serve.  Take down the Seeds, all that.  But it is nice to have enough cash to get a rocket launcher.”

She rolled her eyes and walked close to inspect the shrine.  It had an engraving of Clutch Nixon himself as well as the tale of his stunt, _The Moosekunckle Run._ It read:

_April 15 th, 1968_

_Clutch Nixon, the greatest stuntman on planet Earth, drove an all-terrain vehicle through woodlands as unbreakable as the man himself.  The stunt became known as The Mooseknuckle Run.  Named after a Wenja ritual involving ice baths.  It was believed to enhance one’s stamina and endurance.  The ritual has been debunked by modern science.  No one has ever managed to repeat Clutch’s feat._

There were few disturbing details on the shrine that she skimmed over.  They boys read the plaque and grinned.  Of course, they would be excited about something like as stupid as a Clutch Nixon stunt.  They could be off rescuing civilians but instead they were going to do well, this.

“Hell yeah!  That sounds awesome Dep!”

“You really gonna’ do this?”

“Oh yeah.” Dep said.

She sighed in defeat.  Seeing there was no changing his mind, she let go of her concerns.  Hopefully Dep wouldn’t get killed doing this.  If he did, she wouldn't be going back to the Wolf's Den without an alibi. 

A smirk grew across her face.  She pulled her iPod out of her back pocket.  “Well, if you’re going to do this, you’re going to do it right.  I think Wheaty has Clutch’s theme song on here.”

She scrolled through the songs for a minute before finding the Clutch Nixon theme song.  She held the iPod out for the boys to see. 

“Okay, yeah.  You definitely have to play that.” Dep said.

She walked back over to the truck.  “There an aux cord in here?”

“Yeah in the glove box.”

She rummaged around until she found it.  Oh, bless Dep and his brand-new truck.  His truck was spiffed out with all the newest stuff.  Probably purchased with all the cash he looted off Peggies.  It was so much nicer than Jacob’s beatdown truck with the red peeling paint.  Jacob’s truck had to be from the 80’s or later.  She had spent of lot of time in that red truck.  A little too much time to her liking.

She hooked up the iPod to the truck and began blasting Clutch’s song.  The speakers carried it through the trees.  She couldn’t help but laugh.  Any Peggies could easily hear it and come running.  None of the present company seemed to care though.

Dep was already on the ATV that was set up on the truck.  She walked back over to the boys.  The song was still blasting. 

“You ready?” She asked.

He nodded.  He revved the engine a few times.  The track looked pretty dangerous, but Dep would be fine.  She was being silly earlier.  He wasn't going to die.

“Alright we’ll time ya’ amigo.”

“See you guys on the other side.”  He counted to three and sped off.  The ATV dug into soft dirt.  His cowboy hat stayed on his head.  That wasn’t possible, but she didn’t comment.  She quickly learned that with Dep, almost anything was possible.  He took a left turn and disappeared from their view.  They were left without anything to watch.

“Well… this kind of sucks.”

“Yeah.  Are you timing him?”

Sharky laughed.  “No.  Dep always wants me to, but I never do.  I just make up times.  It makes him pretty happy.”

“Why does that not surprise me?”

The Clutch Nixon song continued to play in the background.  It was pretty catch, and very _patriotic._  

“Hey!  This reminds me of this song I wrote one time, Eating pussy and kickin’ ass.  Let'me tell ya' That song is a hit.”

She shook her head.  “Oh please, when’s the last time you did the former?”

Sharky was a really nice guy, but he was kind of an idiot.  She couldn’t think of any women that would want to be with him.  He was just another clueless man when it came to women.  Honestly, all of the men in Hope County were just a mess.  But she wasn’t cruel enough to say that to his face.

“Alright.  Alright.  I’m on a touch of a dry spell with that one.  I’ll admit.  But the kickin’ ass part, I think I’m doing pretty good.”

“Yeah you, are Sharky.  You’re kickin’ ass.”

“Thanks, chika’.  Man… we need to go back and liberate Holland Valley, some of the hottest women in Hope County live there.”

Her eyebrow quirked it curiosity.  “I’m from Holland Valley.”

“Well that explains why you’re such a cute little thing.  But out of respect to Eli, can’t be thinkin’ about you like that.”

She couldn’t help but blush a little.  Sharky called her cute.  She had to admit that maybe there was a reason that someone would want to be with him.  He really was a big sweetheart.  “That’s okay.  I’m kind of glad.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

She bust out laughing.  “Nothing!  Absolutely nothing Sharky.  But don’t worry, we’ll find you somebody.”  She thought for a moment.  What women in Hope County were available?  He needed someone.

“What about Mary May?  Or Grace Armstrong?”  She didn’t suggest Jess black, because, fuck her.  Her nose was still broken from their little fight.

“Oh man, trust me I have tried barking up those trees many times.  Each time I’ve been met with the end of an assault rifle.”  He said.  That sounded about right.  Both of those women didn’t put up with any bullshit.

“Hmm… Okay.  What about…”  The sound of an engine cut her off.  She was about to suggest Faith.  It was probably best that she hadn’t said that.  Didn’t need anyone else to go around calling her a Peggie.

“Dep must be almost done.”

They walked to a small cliff on the other side of the shrine.  A large ramp was on the other side of the cliff.  Below was a small pond.  The drop was only about fifteen feet, but that was still a lot.

“Is he going to jump into that pond?”

“Probably…”

She and Sharky stood on the edge of the cliff.  Dep rounded the corner, going full speed.  He flew right off the ramp and into the pond below.  His head went under the water.  He had still been clutching the ATV.

For a moment, she feared if Dep had gotten hurt.  But her fears were silenced when his head emerged from the water.  That damn cowboy hat was still on his head.  A huge grin crossed his face. 

“Fuck yeah!  That was awesome amigo!” Sharky said.

Dep held up a thumbs up with one hand, while treading water with the other.  At least he wasn’t dead. 

She cupped her hands around her mouth.  “Way to go Dep!  Yeah!”

It took him a good minute to climb out of the pond and back up to where they were standing.  He was soaking wet from head to toe.

“Shark, what was my time?”

“Uh… you definitely beat Clutch’s time.  Your fastest one yet!”

“Nice.”  They high-fived.  He walked back to the truck.

Sharky laughed and rubbed the back of his neck.  There was that tell again.  He gave Liz a knowing look.  She couldn’t help but laugh a little.  Sharky hadn’t timed it at all.  They had barely been paying attention to his stunt.  Dep didn't need to know that though.

The Clutch Nixon theme song had long ended.  Dep shook himself off like a wet dog.  He reached into his truck to grab something.  She spotted his radio in his hand.  Static came from it.  She had a sick feeling of who was on the other end.

“The weak always see themselves as heroes.”

Not again.

Liz felt herself tense up at the sound.  Jacob’s voice did that to her.  Of course, Jacob was fucking calling Dep while she was there.  Not that he had a way of knowing that she was there, but still…

“No matter their cause, they think of themselves as ‘warriors’.  But they’re not warriors.  They’re children.”

Fuck.  Why exactly was Jacob calling Dep right now?  Maybe he did this a lot to him, but it seemed really specific.  Almost like he was jealous of Dep’s Clutch Nixon stunt.  But probably not.  It was just a coincidence. 

“These ‘Whitetail Militia’ are not soldiers, they’re frauds.  Their leader Eli is not a hero, he is a coward.  They are not strong.  They are weak.”

She couldn’t stop herself from curling her hand into a fist.  Eli wasn’t a coward.  She wasn’t a coward.  Just because she was fighting with the Whitetails, it didn’t mean that she was weak. 

But she needed to relax.  Jacob didn’t know that she was with Dep.  Or did he?  She still didn’t know is she had imagined that laser sight or not.  There only way to find out would be to ask him.  That was the last thing she wanted to do, but she had to know.

“And they are being hunted…”

His voice gave her chills.  Even though this call wasn’t directed to her, she still didn’t like it. Some of his words from yesterday were still ringing in her mind.  Things she wished she had never heard.

Dep shook his head.  He didn’t look fearful, he looked more annoyed than anything.

“Does he do that a lot?” She asked him.

“Yeah.  He just talks about his bullshit.  Most of the time I ignore it.”

He threw the radio back into the truck.  She needed to get her hands on that.  She needed to talk to him.  Dep needed to be away from his radio though.  He didn’t need to know that she wanted to talk to Jacob again.

The trio fell into an awkward silence.  Getting threatened by their greatest enemy put a bit of a damper on things.  Sharky was the first to break the silence.

“Hey!  Let’s not let _Jake ‘n Bake_ ruin the day y’all.  Where to next Dep?”

She snorted.  That was a pretty good nickname.  She would have to use that sometime.  Assuming there would be a next time.  Unfortunately, there probably would be.

Dep pulled out his map and set it on the hood of the truck.  They all gathered round.  “We could go take an outpost, recruit some people.  What do you guys think?”

Liz surveyed the map.  The outposts needed to be taken but were kind of useless.  And she didn’t feel like killing anyone else today.  The big places of Jacob’s operation needed to be taken, but they didn’t seem up to the challenge.  All they had was Sharky’s shotgun, her bat, and whatever Dep had on him.  She spotted a star on the map not far from where they were.

She pointed to it.  “What’s that?”

“It’s some doctor that needs help studying wolves.  Her name’s Sarah Perkins.”

“Let’s go help her.”  That seemed feasible.  Liz didn’t really care about helping anyone.  She just needed the work, the distractions.  And maybe she could Dep away from his radio.

“Sounds good.”  He rolled up his map.

They all climbed back into the truck.  Dep was still soaked from his little stunt.  He didn’t seem to care that his seats got wet.  He probably stole the truck from someone anyways.  The stench of death still lingered in her nose a little.  She could ignore it for the most part, it was still there lingering.

They passed a giant sword out on the road.  It was the blank side of a mountain with a sword painted in white.  She’d never seen that before.  Why exactly was it there? 

_‘What the fuck Jacob?’_

There was no point in having a giant sword painted on the side of the mountain.  How would that make his army strong?  She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the thought.  Jacob probably saw Joseph’s statue and John’s sign and decided that he needed something too.  Oh, that poor man.  She really wanted to bash his face in with her bat.  He deserved a lot worse than that though.

The ride didn’t take very long.  The pulled up close to the small trailer that read MCA Mobile Lab.  They heard gunshots and yelling.

“I got this.  Y’all stay put.” Dep said.

It was uncommon for Dep to do things by himself, but they didn’t question him.  About six gunshots later, he signaled for them to get out of the truck.  Liz grabbed her bat out of the back seat and followed Sharky. 

When she saw the carnage, she couldn’t help but feel a little sick.  There were several dead judges scattered about the trailer.  They all had the neatly painted crosses on their foreheads, her judges.  She didn’t care much for the judges, but it was still sad to see them like this.  They hadn’t deserved to be turned into monsters and then killed.  It wasn’t the wolves’ fault.

“Holy shit!  Thanks for the help.  Hold on…  I’m coming down.”  A dark-haired woman climbed down from the trailer.  She must be the scientist that Dep had been talking about.

“Shit.  I didn’t think I was going to make it.  Thanks for that.  I’m Sarah by the way—Sarah Perkins.  I was heading up a wildlife conservation team studying wolves in the park and then we found these things.”

Sarah didn’t bother addressing her or Sharky, she only talked to Dep.  Whatever.  Liz didn’t really give a shit about helping this woman.  She was just along for the ride.  The woman continued with her monologue about the judges, most of which she tuned out.

There was a tent set up next to the trailer.  It had lab equipment spread out a few dissected judges here and there.  There was a yellow crate with some records.  She would have to get those before she left for Wheaty, he might like them.  There were also some field notes spread out on the table.

_Journal Entry- Day 134_

_Eli, one of those Whitetail Milita, came by last night.  He was trying to convince us to get out of Hope County, that these “Eden’s Gate” people meant us harm.  I told him that our work here wasn’t finished, that it would be a few more days before we could leave.  He said “for smart folks we were acting like a bunch of idiots” and stormed off._

_I’m pretty sure he’s just paranoid like all the other folk in this park.  I mean, who would come after a bunch of conservationists?_

She couldn’t help but feel anger boil inside her.  Eli had warned this woman about the dangers of the cult, but not his own niece.  He seemed to care about some scientist he didn't even know over his family.  She took a shaky breath, no one needed to know how she felt.

“You know my uncle?”

Liz had interrupted the woman.  A look of annoyance flashed over the doctor’s face.  “Who’s you uncle?”

“Eli.”

“Yeah I know him.  He and the Whitetails got me out.  I’ve been trying to help them out.  Who the hell are you?”

She scoffed.  That seemed to be the question of the month.  Everyone was curious to find out who the Peggie girl was.  The only thing that surprised her is that this woman hadn’t recognized her from that damn video.

“I’m the girl that used to _make_ the judges.”

The anger faded from her face, seeing a new opportunity.  “Do you have any information about how to cult made them?  Like formulas, or chemicals they used?”

“We used bliss, but that was just to weaken the wolves.  We just starved em’ and beat em’, till they broke.  There’s no science in all that shit.  Just simple biology and survival.”

“Look, kid.  There’s a lot more going on here than you think.  The cult is using something to make these judges, bigger and strong.  I’m trying to find out what that is, so I can reverse it.”

There somebody went again with that fucking kid stuff.  She thought that maybe once she got out of Hope County and lived on her own, people would stop doing that.  She rolled her eyes.  She should just shut her mouth, but she wasn’t going to.  What was this fucking lady going to do?  Her nose was already broken.

“Do you know how long it takes for something to break, doctor?”

Dr. Perkins sighed.  “No.  And I don’t see how this pertains to the judges…”

“It only takes ten days to break something.”

This speech was not hers, but she was stealing it.  She just wanted to knock this woman down a few pegs.  It would be interested to see what happened if she pushed, just a little bit.  She didn’t have an answer though as to why she wanted to piss off every person in Hope County.  It maybe had something to do with that pamphlet she saw yesterday.  And the shit that went through her thoughts every second of the day.

“You take away something’s basic needs and by the tenth day, it’s yours.  All you need to do is offer it a hand in its time of need.  That’s why the judges are loyal to the Peggies.  It’s because the judges value strength.  They’ll follow anyone they deem worthy.”

The doctor practically rolled her eyes.  “While that’s a nice hypothesis, we’re talking about wild animals here."

Dr. Perkins began to completely ignore her.  She turned to Dep.  "Deputy, I need you to get me a live judge.  I know it’s a lot to ask, but I need one.  The cult keeps some at the old Breakthrough Camp.  Clear out the camp and I’ll meet you there.”

She retreated into her lab.  What the fuck.  This lady barely knew Dep and expected him and his group to do her work.  But Dep didn’t look phased.  He was probably used to shit like that.  Being the resistance hero didn’t look easy.

“Let’s go you guys.” He said.

Liz grabbed the crate of records and put them in the bed of the truck.  The doctor lady didn’t need them.  Wheaty would put them to better use.

They all climbed back into the truck.  The routine of being a Gun for Hire was pretty easy to nail down.  They rode around Hope County all day, trying to find something to do.  Then somebody who sat around doing nothing, would tell Dep what to do.  Then Dep would tell them what to do.  The whole thing was a fucking mess.  It almost made her miss her days at the Veteran’s Center.  At least there had been structure there. 

The whole ride over to Breakthrough Camp, she schemed on how to get Dep’s radio off him.  He was still a little wet from his stunt into the pond.  It probably wouldn’t be easy, but with him doing this mission might make it feasible.  She needed to talk to Jacob, to figure out some things.  He seemed to be the only one with answers.

Dep drove right by the sign for the camp and pulled off the side of the road.  The trees concealed them for the most part.  There were a bunch of Peggies stationed at the camp.  It would take a lot of manpower to take them out, too bad that she wouldn’t be helping them out.

When she climbed out of the backseat, her plan went into action.  She pretended to wince.

“Ah, fuck.”  She clutched her leg.

“You alright, Liz?”

“No.  I think I’m gonna’ sit this one out.”  It wasn’t completely a lie.  Her leg was bothering a little bit.  But she could still fight if she had to.

“It’s okay.  We got this.”

Dep and Sharky retreated into the woods to begin their assault.  She was slightly relieved that she wasn’t going to be helping them.  She had already killed two men today.  It wasn’t that she wouldn’t kill anyone, she just didn’t want to do it when it wasn’t necessary.  And to her, this mission wasn't necessary at all.

When the boys were gone, she released her leg from her grasp and stood a little taller.  It was another lie to add to the list.  All of this lying made her a little uncomfortable, but it was surprisingly easy.  It came to her more naturally than expected.

She looked in the front seat to see Dep’s radio sitting on the dash.  He left it behind.  He probably didn’t want anyone calling him while he was trying to be stealthy.  She snatched it up and turned it on.  All she needed was the frequency that Dep talked to Jacob on.  Yesterday they had been talking on a VIP frequency, but Jacob probably destroyed that radio.  She still had Andrea’s radio clipped to her belt.  It was another souvenir from the crazy events of yesterday.

The last used frequency was on Dep’s radio.  She dialed her own to the same frequency and tossed Dep’s radio back into the truck.  That was the only thing she needed from it.

The blinking number on the radio made her heart beat even faster.  This was it.  Jacob’s private radio frequency.  It was something that only a few people had; his siblings, a few VIP’s, the Deputy, and now her.

Liz wasn’t even on the same level as any of those people.  She shouldn’t be included in that list, let alone personally know Jacob Seed.  But she did unfortunately.  She knew him a little too well for her liking.  Their conversation from yesterday was still rattling around in her mind.  All the things he had said to her.  Most of which he probably didn’t mean.

She took a deep breath.  Her grip tightened on the radio.

“Hi.  Can I speak to _Jake_ please?  He’s tall, kind of an asshole, has a face that you just want to punch.”

There was no response from the other end.  She sighed.  Her back rested against the door of the truck.  Maybe she had the wrong frequency.

“If whoever hearing this finds that asshole.  Tell him that Elizabeth Palmer wants to talk to him.”

Still nothing.  Yesterday had probably been a fluke.  All those things he said, he didn’t mean.  He had just been taunting her.  He hadn’t seen her in the truck with Dep.  She just needed to let it go.  There weren’t any answers to gain from Jacob.

She heard static from the radio.  Her heartbeat quickened in anticipation of his response.  But it wasn’t from hers.  It was from Dep’s.

“Hey, chika’!  We got all the Peggies.  Bring the truck around.  Doctor lady’s gonna’ be here soon.”

It was Sharky, not Jacob.  She couldn’t fight the pang disappointment she felt.  She clipped her radio to her belt and drove the truck to the entrance of the camp.  Dep and Sharky were standing around a bunch of dead Peggies.  Dep was busy looting bodies and Sharky, well, he was just doing his thing.

Dr. Perkins arrived not long after.  “Good work, you left some alive.  We’ll use that gate over there to capture one.  You think you can do that?”

Dep nodded.  He flipped the switch to one of the judge cages.  He was going to lure one of those damn wolves here.  That was something she didn’t need to stick around to see.  She’d seen way too much of the judges, and their shit.  That had not been a fun job.

There was no reason for her to help with this, Dep could handle it.  She decided to wander around.  She didn’t announce her departure, it seemed unnecessary. 

Kind of like her being a Gun for Hire, unnecessary.  She was thankful for the opportunity to be a part of Dep’s group, but she didn’t fit into this story.  However, many times the boys made her laugh, she couldn’t shake the shit feeling in her gut.

As much as Liz didn’t want to admit it, she was lonely.  It was the first time in her life she truly accepted being alone.  Her parents were probably dead.  No one is this crazy world needed her.  Eli was the only family she had left, and he just wanted to use her.

It took her awhile to realize what about Eli bothered her now.  It was that he treated everyone equally.  All of his Whitetails were treated the same, no one was more important than the other.  She didn’t need everything from her uncle, she knew that he had others to worry about.  But it would be nice if he gave some preferential treatment to his last living blood relative.  She speculated that was part of the reason he let her go out with Dep.  Being a Gun for Hire would wash away his shame of his niece being a ‘Peggie’.

But she wasn’t a Peggie.  She didn’t consider herself to be a rebel either.  She was just a _survivor._   Someone who got through shit that they shouldn’t.  Survivors didn’t have a purpose or a cause.  They just got to watch it all fall to shit and live with the consequences.

She wandered around the grounds of the Breakthrough Camp.  There was nothing interesting to look at.  It was just cult supplies.  She walked around the camp at least once before deciding to climb a ladder to the platforms.

She could see the whole camp from there.  Dep and Sharky still hadn’t caught a live judge.  Every time Dep tried to get one in the cage, Sharky would get jumpy and shoot it.  He didn’t want anything eating his best friend.  There were at least three dead judges scattered about the cages, most of them were still on fire.  Each time Sharky would shoot one they would run away whimpering.

“So much for no flight, only fight.” She chuckled to herself.

Dr. Perkins looked pissed.  Good, served her right.  Liz sat down on the edge of the platform, letting her legs dangle over the edge.  She shook her head and laughed at the scene below.  Maybe she didn’t belong here, but hell was it entertaining to watch.

“I heard ya’ we’re looking for me.”

Her laughter was suddenly silenced.  There was that voice coming through her radio again.  He always had the worst possible timing.  She shouldn’t be surprised.  She had been asking for him.  She took her radio off her belt and held down the button.  The tremor in her hand came back.

“Seed!  Took you long enough.”  Calling him by his last name was her attempt to distance herself.  It was a subtle reminder about who he really was.

“I was working.”  He sounded frustrated, or even annoyed.  It was also rougher like it was this morning.

“Ahh.  Busy brainwashing everyone in Hope County, I presume?  And what’s wrong with your voice?  Sounds like you swallowed gravel or some shit.”

He sighed.  “What do you want, little lamb?”

Her eyebrow raised in curiosity.  What the fuck?  Yesterday he went on and on about he wanted her back and now he was acting like an asshole.  Well, he was always an asshole.  But he was more so one today.

“Nothing.  Just wanted to talk.  But somebody clearly pissed in your cornflakes this morning.  So… I’ll ask you later.”  She stared at her dangling legs.  This hadn’t been a good idea.  She wouldn’t get answers from him.  But sometimes she just couldn’t help herself. 

“What’d you want to ask me?” His tone was softer than before.

Her head perked up.  She didn’t have to talk to him.  She could just crush the radio under boot.  That would be the end of it.  But she wasn’t going to do that.

“Why’d you let me go last night?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Really?  Yesterday you threatened to kidnap me, and then I saw a laser sight pointed on my chest.  You found me then, let me go.  Why?”

Yesterday had been a whirlwind of emotions.  Most of which, she hadn’t had time to process yet.  There would be a time for that, just not while the war was going on.

“I think too many bliss fumes went to your head yesterday.  You’re seeing things, sweetheart.”

Her mouth hung open.  “I know what I saw!  I’m not crazy.  Not like you…”

He chuckled.  There was that sarcasm that had been missing.  “You say I’m crazy but, we’re not that different.  You know how to cull the herd.  You proved that yesterday.  Wait till Eli finds that out.”

She wasn’t like him.  Just because she used his speeches didn’t mean they were the same.  She didn’t believe in his philosophy.  Culling the herd was wrong.  What she said yesterday didn’t matter.  She wasn’t like Jacob.  She wasn’t.

“Wait until the Deputy and his group find that out.”

Her eyes grew wide.  Fuck.  The word had spread fast to him.  “How do you know that?”

“Honey, I know everything that happens in these mountains.  I have men everywhere.  You really think you could join Cowboy’s little group of idiots, without me knowing?”

Of course, he had men everywhere.  She knew that.  But hearing about it made her a little paranoid.  She scanned the camp, looking for threats but saw none.  Dep and Sharky were still waiting on another judge to come along.  They weren’t even paying attention to her.  When she was confident that she wasn’t being watched, she turned her attention back to the radio.

“Well, that was the plan.  I was also hoping to never talk to you again, but here we are.”

“What does he call his group again?”

She sighed.  Blush began to rise in her cheeks.  Saying the name out loud to him felt a little silly.  “Guns for hire.”

“Mm.  You don’t belong with them.  You’re not a hero, so don’t act like one.  You’re my soldier, always will be.”

There were those assumptions again.  Everyone assumed that she wanted to be a hero.  Hero’s didn’t run away though, she did.  And they didn’t tell women that they were weak right before putting a bullet in their skull.

“I know I’m not a hero, but I’m not your soldier either.”  She was just a survivor to all this shit.  There was no leaving.  She just got to watch everyone destroy each other.

“Tell me Liz, do you think they need you?”

The answer was clear.  Dep didn’t need her.  She was just an extra player in this fucked up game.  She had no place in this story.

“No one really needs me Seed.”   That was true.  If she died right now, it wouldn't matter.  What happened to her didn't have any bearing on anyone else.  No one in this whole world needed her.

“You can always come back home.  Every lost little lamb needs a shepherd.”

She scoffed.  He was such an asshole.  He would insult her then expect her to go crawling back to him.  She was lost, but she would be even more lost with him.

“Let’s not pretend that you give a shit about me.  You’re not my savior.  You’re the big bad wolf who’ll snap my neck once you get ahold of me.”

Jacob didn’t care about her.  That was all just bullshit he was spewing.  If she went back to him willingly, he would have his fun with her and then throw her away.  She shouldn’t be even considering it.

“Sometimes people can surprise you.”

“Yeah… I guess.”

They fell into an uncomfortable silence.  Sometimes talking to your enemy wasn’t that easy when you didn’t have insults to throw at each other.  The boys below were still waiting for another judge.  Oh, they were so stupid.  It didn’t even look like they were trying.  They were probably just having fun hanging out.

She surveyed the radio in her hand.  Why had she wanted to talk to him?  He always just made her upset.  She thought back to their conversation yesterday.  There were a few things he probably hadn’t meant to say.  Jacob’s dirty words were still lingering in her ears.

“Got any more _confessions_ for me?”

He sighed.  “I shouldn’t have told you that.”

“Yeah well we all make mistakes.  It’s nice to see _you_ finally make one.”

With him, every step was calculated.  He was very particular with his words.  Anything he said was a part to a bigger plan.  Except for that.  Yesterday had been a fluke.

“And besides, I knew what that was.”

“You do?”

“Yeah... it was another one of your stupid tactics.  I know you only said those things to make me break down and cry.  But you should give that one up because… it won’t work on me.”  The words weren’t spoken with confidence, but she believed them.  Those things Jacob said yesterday weren’t true.  He didn’t want her like that.  He was just a liar.

She heard something that was the equivalent of a sigh of relief.

“Look, I’m… sorry.”

He had been talking about people surprising her, this definitely qualified for that category.

“W-what?  Did you just say the ‘s’ word?  Can you repeat that for me please?”  She was in complete shock.  Jacob had just apologized to her.  Damn this day couldn’t possibly get any crazier.

“You heard me.”

“Huh.  I didn’t know that word was in your vocabulary, but I also know your bullshit.  Not gonna’ work Seed.  One apology isn’t going to make me tell you where the Wolf’s Den is.”

Jacob could try to manipulate her all he wanted, but it wouldn’t work.  She wouldn’t go back to him.  He just wanted to know where Eli hid his Whitetails.  He didn’t want her.

He chuckled.  “You’re really just clueless, aren’t you?  Even when I’m direct with you, you still don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

“So, you keep telling me.  And I’m not stupid!  All you do is lie to me anyways…”

“I have never once lied to you and I don’t intend to.  Don’t know if you can say the same for Eli.”

It always came back to Eli.  Jacob wanted to point out the ways that they were different.  But they were the same in a lot of ways.  They both cared about their causes more than they cared about individuals.  To them, it didn’t matter who died as long as they won.  Each side was just as shitty as the other.

“Whatever you say, fuckface.  I’m not going back to you.  I’ll…”  The sound of gunshot cut her off.  She saw Sharky had shot too many judges.  One was locked up in the cage, finally.  But the flames from the dead judges were slowly spreading.

“Oh… shit.”  She scrambled up from the platform.

“What happened?”  There was some concern in his voice.  Oh please, like he actually gave a damn.  She humored him anyways though.

“Sharky did something.  I better go see what happened.”  The boys below were scrambling to stomp it out.  They weren’t very successful.

“Is that the moron that lights all my judges on fire?”

Liz looked down below at the scene in front of her.  There were at least a half a dozen dead judges still smoldering.  She burst out laughing.

“Oh yeah, that’s him.  You don’t want to know what he did today.”  She laughed even harder.

“God, I hate that idiot.”

She heard shouting down below.  “Aw fuck!” Sharky said.

“I better go…  It’s been shitty talking to ya’, Seed.  Let’s never do this again.”

“Likewise."

His tone grew darker.  "Oh, and Liz...  If I catch you riding shotgun with the Deputy again, you won’t like what I do to you.  I’ll make good on my promise.”

Her eyes grew wide.  Fuck.  She never told him about riding in the front seat with Dep.  It had been him in the woods last night.  He saw her riding with the Deputy.  That laser sight had been his.  He found her and let her go. 

“Jacob?”

She heard the clicking sound of his radio disconnecting.  “Jacob!”

No response came from the other end.  That bastard.  She didn’t have time to process his threat before it all turned to shit.

“Liz!  We gotta go!” Dep yelled.

The flames had spread from the judges all the way to one of the buildings.  The small cabin was engulfed in flames.  The orange flames covered every inch of the wooden building.

“Shit!”  She clipped the radio to her belt and scrambled down the ladder.  Her boots crunched in against the leaves as she sprinted to the truck.  The flames grew high by the second.  Damn, Sharky really knew how to start a fire.

The boys were already waiting in the truck.  They beckoned her to hurry up.  She ran as fast as her injured leg could carry her.

Dr. Perkins scrambled away in shock.  “Dep!  I need the judge for my research!”

Liz ran right by and pushed her out of the way.  “Get the hell out of here lady!”

The truck began to drive away.  She reached the back and hoisted herself over the tailgate.  When she hit the bed of the truck, Dep sped off.  She spotted Dr. Perkins running off into the woods.  Good, served that bitch right.

They pulled out onto the main road.  A large explosion billowed over the trees.  There had to have been propane tanks in the cabin or something.  Holy shit.  They barely escaped that. 

The ride was bumpy from the truck bed.  She had to grip the bottom to keep herself steady.  Her ball cap threatened to fly from her head.  She could still see the large pillar of black smoke that came from the flames.  She opened the small back window of the truck so she could talk to the guys.

“Hey, chika’ you see that?”

“Hell yeah!  That was awesome!” She yelled.  Sharky started the coolest fires.  It was entertaining as hell to watch.

The trio burst into a fit of laughter.  They sped back to the Wolf’s Den, fleeing the scene of their destruction.  It was technically a Peggie camp, it wasn’t their problem.  And the doctor lady lived, so whatever.  They tried to help her, but it didn’t end up working out.  Shit happens.

The wind whipped at her face and the sun beat down.  The trees whizzed by her vision.  The thrill of adrenaline beating in her chest.  It all faded into one beautiful blur.

As Liz sat in the truck bed with a big grin on her face, she forgot.  She forgot that she didn’t belong here, and that she wasn’t a hero.  This was all a distraction.  A distraction that would eventually fade, but she didn’t care.  For right now though, she could just pretend.  Pretend that she was a good person, that somebody cared about her, and maybe everything would be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my wonderful readers <3 Hope you enjoyed this chapter, as always I love hearing your feedback on anything.  
> Go follow me on tumblr! My tumblr name is: punisherpage. I post a lot of photosets and edits related to the fic. Search in the tag 'liz palmer' to find them all.  
> Also, I have a cosplay account on instagram and I cosplay as Faith :) It's @cbobcosplay. Y'all can go check it out if you want.  
> _____  
> Liz's GFH Stats  
> Type: Spy  
> Skill #1 MELEE EXPERT  
> \- Give her a bat and she'll hit any Peggie out of the park.  
> Skill #2 PEGGIE INTEL  
> -Marks all locations of roadblocks, prisoner vans, and supply vehicles on your map.  
> 


	16. Don't Look Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think a chat is necessary, sweetheart.

Echoes carried through the metal staircase of the Wolf’s Den.  Stomping feet and laughter rang out.  A sound very uncommon to the sad bunker of the Whitetails.  Liz, Dep, and Sharky bounded down the hallway and into the main room.

“Okay, so did y’all see the look on that doctor lady’s face?” Liz said.  She carried the yellow crate full of records in her hands as she walked.  Her bat was tucked under her arm.

“Yeah, that was pretty funny.  Cause’ we were trying to help her out and then we turned it all to shit.”

“You mean _you_ turned it all to shit…”  She laughed.  It had been entertaining as hell to see Sharky light that place on fire.

“Guys…” Dep said.

She realized that they had been practically screaming in the quiet bunker.  Both Eli and Wheaty were staring at them.  When she locked eyes with her uncle, her laughter faded.  She hadn’t seen him at all this morning.  That had been deliberate.  She didn’t want to have to see him again just for this reason.

“So, how’d it go?” Eli asked.

Liz started him down.  There was a divide between she and her uncle.  She hadn’t received the welcome to the resistance that she had been expecting.  None of the Whitetails trusted her, and Eli just wanted to use her.  She kept her mouth shut and walked right by him. 

It was a cold thing to do, but she didn’t care.  It didn’t matter that they were family, she didn’t want to talk to him right now.  She walked over to Wheaty instead.  She sat down the crate of records on the table. 

“Hey Liz…”  He shifted uncomfortably.  Everyone seemed to be on edge due to the tension she had with Eli.  It shouldn’t though.  Whatever was between she and her uncle was their business, not anyone else’s.

A chipper smile crossed her face.  “Hey!  I found these today.  Figured you’d like them.”

Wheaty flipped through the crate, the tension fading from him.  “Wow, there are some good records in here.  Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“I can add them all to your iPod if you want.”

“Yeah, that’d be awesome!”  She pulled her iPod out of her back pocket and handed it over.  He took it and hooked it up to his computer. 

“Oh, and I was gonna’ ask Dep to do this, but you seem pretty capable.”  He dug around in some boxes and pulled out a map of Hope County.  There were several markings throughout the Whitetails. 

“These are some locations of other records that I know of.  This isn’t really a priority but while you’re out you should look for them.  Think you can handle it?”

A smirk grew across her face.  She took the map from him. “I know I can.”

“Great, just bring them to me as you find them, and I’ll put them on your iPod.  I have full confidence in you.”

“Thanks, Wheaty.”

He gave her one last smile before he began to load up the records.  She retreated into the depths of the bunker.  She had claimed a mattress in the back room.  The beds were pretty much out in the open, but they were divided by the shelves stocked with food.  Her mattress was on the far left side, closest to the emergency exit.  She needed to put up a sheet or a curtain or something.  Sometimes sleeping out in the open sucked.  But it was better than the Veteran’s Center and that was all that mattered.

She leaned her bat in the corner next to her bed.  It was nice having a bat again.  It was familiar.  A lot of things were a bit more familiar now.  The familiarity was the only thing that kept her sane.

She removed her hat and let her hair fall to her shoulders.  A line of sweat rested on her brow.  She collapsed onto the dusty mattress.  Her legs propped up on one of the metal shelves.  It had been a long day.  Becoming a Gun for Hire was no small matter.  She had to be on beck and call for Dep, and she was a high value target to the Peggies.  Well, she already was one before because of her last name. 

Her conservation with Jacob earlier had been a strange one.  Every time she talked to him, she managed to only become more confused.  Why had he let her go?  She knew where the Wolf’s Den was, that was what he wanted most of all.  He could have captured her and tortured her to get the location.  Or, even followed her and Dep back to the bunker.  But he hadn’t done any of those things.  She couldn’t wrap her finger around it as to why.

Maybe it had something to do with submission.  He liked it when people were degraded enough till they were willing.  That’s what his conditioning was.  If his plan was to try to manipulate her into coming back to him, he was in for a rude awakening.  That wasn’t going to happen.  Her trust in him had been broken the moment he threw her into that cage.  As much as she secretly wanted to, she couldn’t go back to him.  She took her radio off her belt and surveyed it.  She could call him if she wanted.  But she shouldn’t, especially not in the Wolf’s Den.

Growing anxious from being alone, Liz sat up and put the radio back on her belt.  Don’t even think about talking to him.  Nothing good would come from that.  She stood and made her way back out into the hallway.  There wasn’t anyone around.  Wheaty said that other Whitetails stayed here but she hadn’t seen any.  Not that she cared, the less people around the better.

Her boots clacked on the metal floor.  Wheaty was busy downloading the records she brought him.  Bless him.

She rounded the corner to see Dep and Sharky talking to Eli.  They all fell into an awkward silence.  Maybe she shouldn’t have been a dick to Eli a few minutes ago.

“What’s going on here?” She asked.

Eli was the first to speak up.  “Been talking to Dep about the stashes we got over the mountains.  You know, the ones that Jacob knows about.”

There wasn’t venom in his words, but he wasn’t being humorous either.  It was more like disappointment.  That was where she stood with Eli.  He was disappointed with her and with himself.  All around her relationship with her uncle just sucked.

“He would have killed me if I didn’t give him something.”

Eli sighed.  “I know, and I don’t blame you for that.  But we need to do something about it.”

“So, what’s the plan?”

They all just stared at her.  Dep shifted awkwardly and Sharky rubbed the back of his neck.  There was the goddamn tell again.  He was not good at keeping secrets at all.  They weren’t going to tell her the plan because they already had one without her.

“Y’all don’t want me to go.”

“Look Liz… You’ve done enough for today.  Get some rest.  Sharky and Jess will have my back.” Dep said.

She rolled her eyes at the mention of that woman.  Her nose was still broken from yesterday’s events.  It hurt a little bit whenever she touched her face at all.  Right now, she was angry, not just at Jess but at the boys for not wanting to bring her along. 

“This was _my_ fault.  I should at least be there to fix it.”  Fighting again today was the last thing she wanted to do.  She didn’t mind sitting one out.  But she didn’t want anyone else to fix something that she did.  The only reason that Jacob knew about the stashes is because she had gotten lost in those blue eyes and spilled.  That day she had been a little too happy to be helping him out.

“You’re not going.  It’s my call.” Eli said.

“Fine.” She spat.  There was no arguing with him.  She was in his bunker, fighting for his militia.  It was his call.  And she didn’t want to get into another argument with him.

He turned back to the boys.  “Y’all all set?”

Dep nodded.  “Yeah I think we got it.  We’re going to head out.  Radio me when you spot us on the cameras.”

Dep and Sharky gathered their things and left.  Her skills were not needed for this mission.  Dep would get along just fine without her as a Gun for Hire.  She couldn’t help but shake the shit feeling in her stomach though.  As soon as the boys left, she shook her head and began to walk away.

“Hey, didn’t say you could leave yet.  Need you for something.”

She sighed and stomped back over to Eli.  “What do you want?”

“I know you’re pretty upset with me, and you should be.  But you need to listen to me.”

Oh, there was plenty of reasons to be upset with him.  He didn’t tell her about the cult growing right under her nose.  He left her in the hands of his greatest enemy for months.  He also didn’t respect her at all.

“Why?  You’re not my father.”

“You’re right.  I’m not, but he’s not here.  We’re the last two Palmers standing.  I don’t say that to downplay what might have happened, but that’s how it is now…”

She tried to fight the tears that began to well up in her eyes.  They were the last two Palmers standing.  What a crazy concept.  She didn’t know exactly what happened to her parents, but she had a pretty good idea.  They were probably dead. 

“Look Lizzie… You can be pissed at me all you want.  Just know that… I’m sorry.  I did everything I could to try to get you away from Jacob.”

He tried to reach for her hand.  She snatched it away and wiped her eyes.  She buried her feeling of her parents.  Grieving wouldn’t help her.  It would only make her weak.

“Whatever… just forget it.”  She didn’t want to talk about this shit anymore.  It didn’t get her anywhere and just made her upset.

“Are we gonna’ be okay?”

Her mouth hung open as she stared at him.  Out of all the questions that people had asked her since getting back to Montana, this was by far the dumbest.  How could he think that everything would be okay again?  They were in the middle of a war.  Life was pretty much over as they knew it.  It wouldn’t be long before they were all dead.

“No.  We are never going to be okay Eli.  I forgive you for letting me get captured, but I won’t forget.  Things can’t go back to the way they were.”

That was what broke her heart most of all.  She and Eli used to do everything together.  They went fishing, camping, to softball games.  He used to be her best friend.  Now he was trying his best to be her father.  But she didn’t need a father, she just needed a friend.  There was no going back.

“Just tell me what you need me to do, so I don’t have to talk to you.”

He sighed and fetched a pad of paper and a pen.  He set them down in front of her.  “I need you to sort and count the inventory room.  Write down how many guns and bullets we have.  And then after I need you to do laundry.”

Another woman would have found it insulting that they were assigned to laundry duty.  Not Liz though, that was fine by her.  She didn’t want to fight… or kill.  But she also didn’t want to be used.  Eli didn’t have her fight because he valued her skills, but because she was a symbol.  So, if doing laundry got her out of that, then so be it.

She took the materials from him.  “Fine.”

She walked back over to Wheaty.  He was still working with those records.  “Hey um… Wheaty.  I’m gonna’ need my iPod back.”

“What can’t go five minutes without listening to music?” He laughed.

“Not really!  And Eli’s making me count inventory.  I don’t want to do it in silence.”

“I’m not done loading the records up.”

“That’s fine.”  He unhooked it from his computer and handed it to her.  She really couldn’t go five minutes without this thing.  It was one of her only possessions. 

“Here you go.”

“Thanks.”

In the Book of Joseph, he had talked about how homeless people clung to certain possessions.  Sometimes if their item was destroyed, they could die of a broken heart.  It was their only link to a past lives.  That one item kept them sane and gave them hope.  Liz kind of understood what that was like. 

If her iPod broke she wouldn’t die, but she would be upset.  Listening to music was the one thing that kept her sane.  That kept her _human_.  But in the Whitetail Mountains, music, or one song in particular was the enemy.   She gripped her iPod a little too tight in her hand and walked back down the hall.  The only people in the bunker right now were Eli, Wheaty, her, and Tammy was somewhere around here.  Not that Liz wanted to see that woman anyways. 

The inventory room was a complete mess.  There were bullets strewn everywhere and all of the guns were out of place.  The disorganization might have been somewhat her fault when she was stealing things to run away.  Funny, how things always came back around to bite her in the ass.

This was probably going to take the rest of the day.  She’d better get to work.  She placed the headphones in her ears and hit the shuffle button.  The music instantly calmed her down.  Nothing else seemed to do that. 

She looked at the mess before her.  She decided to sort the bullets first.  It seemed like the most work, she might as well get that done first.  She lined up ammo boxes on the counter and sorted by bullet type.  She’d gather up the bullets from the ground then drop them into their coordinating box.

Most of the bullets were for rifles, the second most common was pistol ammo.  It was boring, mundane work, but it was relaxing.  With the headphones in her ears, she fell into a rhythm.

_‘Don't look back.  A new day is breakin'_

_It's been too long since I felt this way.’_

This was peaceful to her.  She had a simple job to do and music in her ears.  If this was her job everyday that would be fine.  Maybe being with the Whitetails wouldn’t be so bad.  She didn’t have to be on good terms with Eli, she just had to survive.  That was the only thing that mattered. 

_‘I don't mind where I get taken, the road is callin'.  Today is the day.’_

“You… to… m…”  A sound came through her radio.  She could barely hear it through the headphones, but she knew who it belonged to.  Jacob was trying to talk to her.  She took one headphone out of her ear and took her radio off her belt.

“What do you want asshole?”  It wasn’t a good idea to be talking to him in the Wolf’s Den.  But he called her, and she just couldn’t help herself.

“You burned down my camp.”  He sounded pissed.  His voice wasn’t as rough as it had been this morning but it was still coarse.  Maybe he didn't swallow gravel during his free time.

She burst out laughing.  “Well… technically it was Sharky who did that.  I was just an innocent bystander.  And I thought I told you not to call me again.”

_‘I can see.  It took so long to realize._

_I'm much too strong, not to compromise.’_

With one hand she held the radio and with the other she continued to sort the bullets.  Her head bobbed back and forth, and her hips swayed to the music.  She wasn’t going to let Jacob ruin her good mood.

“My Chosen found half of the Breakthrough Camp in ashes and at least twenty dead judges.  I think a chat is necessary, sweetheart.”

“Oh, please.  What are you gonna’ do?  Threaten me some more?  You won’t do anything.”

_‘Now I see what I am is holding me down.  I'll turn it around.’_

“Don’t mistake my generosity for incompetence.”

“Nah… I think incompetence is the right word.  I’m still with the Whitetails and you have absolutely nothing.”

It wasn’t a good idea to continue to taunt Jacob, but she didn’t care.  What was he really going to do?  She was safe in the Wolf’s Den.  He wasn’t going to find her here.  There was no point in worrying about what he said.  She continued to sort the bullets without a care in the world.

“Little lamb, I can get you back anytime I want.  Just say the word and I’ll come get you.”

She scoffed.  “You think so damn highly of yourself.  I’m not going back to you, Seed.  Go to hell.”

_‘I finally see the dawn arrivin'.  I see beyond the road I'm drivin'_

_Far away and left behind.’_

“And what is that goddam music?”

She looked at her radio to see that she was holding one of her earbuds in the same hand.  It was directly next to the radio.  She hadn’t even realized it.

“Holy shit, you can hear that?”  She held the headphone closer to the radio, so it would be louder.

_‘It's a new horizon and I'm awakin' now.  Oh, I see myself in a brand-new way.’_

“Yes, unfortunately.  It makes it hard to focus.”

“Says the man who uses a music box to brainwash people.  Don’t you ever get tired of that damn song?  I mean there are better songs than _Only You.”_

He had to get at least somewhat sick of that song, right?  Liz had only listened to that song about three times and she hated it.  There’s no telling how many times he had listened to that music box.  She couldn’t help but wonder why he chose that song.

“I know you don’t understand what I do, but you will eventually.”

She chuckled to herself.  “Yeah that’ll be the day…  But ya’ know what Seed?  I’m going to take it upon myself to improve your taste in music.  I’ll play you more songs.”

“I thought you said you didn’t want to talk to me?”

“I mean… I don’t.  But I think it’s my responsibility to purge your brainwashing song and _Set Those Sinners Free_ out of your system.”

“God, I hate that song.”

“Really?  But I… thought that…”

He didn’t like his own song?  He had seemed to like it that one day.  She couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed about what happened. 

“Only when you sing it…”

Her eyes grew wide.  She froze in place.  The bullets fell from her hand and clattered on the counter.  There was a tugging feeling in her chest.  He couldn’t mean that, could he?  She had the worst singing voice.  Her voice always cracked anytime she tried to sing.  There was nothing soothing about her voice, let alone make him like a song that he hated.

She shook her head and brushed away the feeling.  “Tactics aren’t gonna’ work on me Seed.”

He sighed.  “You ever going to believe anything I say?”

“Nope.”

Jacob didn’t want or need her.  He just wanted the location of the Wolf’s Den.  But then again, that was something he could have gotten last night.  He had some other reason for letting her go.  She could just ask him.  There were a still a million questions about things that still needed answering.  But she shouldn’t ask them in the bunker.

“Actually… can I call you back?  I just have a lot of work to do right now.  And I’d rather us insult each other when we’re both focused.” She chuckled.

None of this was a good idea.  She shouldn’t be talking to him, let alone looking forward to talking to him.  But every time Jacob opened his mouth, she seemed to throw all logic out the window. 

“What’s Eli having you do?”

“Counting bullets.  This inventory room is a mess!  There’s not much in it but it’s still a pain in…”  She stopped talking when she realized what she said.  Now he knew that the Whitetails didn’t have that many guns.  She groaned. “Shit…”

Jacob chuckled on the other side of the radio.  “Oh I do love our talks, little lamb.  I’ll be waiting for you.  Can’t wait for you to tell me more.”

A clicking sound indicated that he tuned out.  How did she end up talking to him again?  She made it very clear yesterday and this morning that she hated his guts.  But she continued to talk to him anyways.   She was surprised he didn’t bring up the threat he had made to her earlier.  She didn’t need to be reminded though.  It was somewhat of an empty threat but one that still gave her chills.  He didn’t know where she was, but he also found her before…  The whole situation freaked her out.  She didn’t want to think about it.

Liz clipped her radio to her belt and put the headphones back in her ears.  She flipped through a few songs before finding another one she liked.  She put her focus back on counting bullets.  The next time she talked to him, she couldn’t slip up again. 

She didn’t know how long she sorted the bullets, it could have been minutes or hours.  She was completely zoned out.  Eventually the ammo boxes filled up and there were no more bullets strewn about.  She focused on the guns next.  The armory that the Whitetails had accumulated was pretty pathetic.  Jacob could wipe them out with the supplies at one of his outposts.  It was not a good thing that he knew that now.  She just didn’t know how to keep her mouth shut.

In the cabinets there were 23 rifles, 4 shotguns, and 19 pistols.  Two of those being the revolver she had taken and the AR-C she got from the Cult VIP.  Dep had been the one to suggest that she put them back in the lockers.  He said that Eli didn’t like it when everyone walked around the bunker armed.  Funny how Dep knew more about her own uncle than she did.

When she was digging through the lockers, she found something that may be useful.  It was an extra rifle strap.  It was short and looked about her size.  She ran into the back room to fetch her bat.  She secured the strap on one end of the bat and towards the middle on the other side.  It fit perfectly.

She slung the strap over her shoulders and onto her back.  That would do just fine.  She would have to hold the strap down when she swung it, but that was fine.  It would be nice to not have to carry it anymore.  She left it on her back as she finished up in the inventory room.  She wrote down all the figures on the sheet to give to Eli. 

After a few more minutes of sorting, she was finally finished.  The inventory room of the Wolf’s Den was beautifully organized.  Everything was tucked away in its place.  She gathered up the notepad and bounded down the hall.  Music continued to blast into her ears, blocking out the world.  She passed right by Eli and plopped the notepad down on the table, not bothering to look at him.  She opened the door to the laundry room and stepped inside.

What she saw shocked her.  She felt sick to her stomach.  A chosen member was strapped to a chair.  The chair was in a kiddie pool and hooked up to electrical cords.  Tammy stood over a table, adjusting a car battery.

“What you ain’t ever seen torture before?” Tammy asked.

She removed one earbud.  It took everything in her power not to throw up.  “No.  I just thought the Whitetails were better than this.”

As she looked at the Chosen member, she saw Marcus.  The old man had been so nice to her during her time at the Veteran’s Center.  Even though Jacob had been the one to tell him to do that.  She also saw Andrea.  The face of the woman she had killed was still ingrained in her mind.  It could have been her strapped to that chair.  Liz also herself.  If she wasn’t related to Eli, she would be sitting there. 

Tammy gave her a dirty look.  “We’re in a fucking war, girl.  I don’t care how we get information.”

She shook her head and walked over the laundry machine.  She did not want to be alone in a room with this woman, but she had job to do.

“Talk like that, you might as well be with the cult.”

Tammy scoffed.  “Oh please, if anyone here is a Peggie it’s you.  It’s only a matter of time before you snap.  Eli can’t see that, but I can.  When that happens, I won’t hesitate to put you down.”

“What’s stopping you from doing it now?”  She eyed Tammy up and down.  This woman didn’t scare her.  Her mouth pressed into a thin line and she turned her attention back to the car battery.  That’s what Liz thought.  She began to load up clothes into the washing machine. 

The Whitetails had a crazy schedule when it came to water usage.  Everyone only got showers once a week and clothes were washed every two weeks.  She unfortunately had the luck of being here when it was the week to wash clothes. 

“Are you sleeping with my Uncle?”  It was a pretty bold question to ask.  Not that Liz was one to shy away from asking blunt questions.

“No.  Eli’s just my friend, a good friend.  We don’t always agree on everything but we both do what needs to be done.”

She nodded.  “Oh.  I just was hoping he would have found someone by now…”

It had been years since his wife had left.  That was one of the worst times in the Palmer family.  Eli had lost his son and his wife, all in one go.  If Eli had someone, it would take the pressure off her.  She was his only family left and she just couldn’t handle that.  Her relationship with her uncle was too far broken. 

When she was folding the clothes, she found a note sitting on the dryer.  It was addressed to Tammy from her husband.  Her husband had left her to join the cult.  That’s why she hated the Peggies so much.  Liz tried to think of coming across any man named Mark but couldn’t recall.

“I’m sorry about your husband.”

Her head perked up from the car battery.  “Oh… um… thank you.  I miss him a lot.”

“I miss my parents.”

“Yeah Eli told me what happened to them, that’s a real shame.  They were good folks.  Good fighters too.”

“Thanks.”

What did she mean that her parents were good fighters?  Did they fight for the Whitetails?  Eli hadn’t said anything about that.  He only said that he helped them leave the county.  There was more that Eli wasn’t telling her.  She needed to find out but not right now.  She already had enough trouble trying to get answers from Jacob.  Eventually though, she would find out everything.  She didn’t care what she had to do to figure it out.  Right now, she just needed to keep her cool.  She needed to wait for her moment if something came up because she would only get one shot to save herself.

She finished up folding the laundry.  She folded a few pairs of what she assumed to be Sharky’s ‘semi-clean’ underwear that he likes to keep in his pocket.  Why he kept underwear in his pocket was beyond her.  She just really needed to wash her hands after this whole ordeal.

She gathered the basket in her arms and made her way to the door.  Her hand rested on the doorknob.  “Oh, and Tammy.  I know I haven’t been playing nice with the Whitetails, but I’m not your enemy.  I don’t believe in what the Peggies do.  I’m just someone looking to survive.  I don’t care how I do it.”

She hadn’t meant for her message to come off as a threat.  Tammy didn’t seem afraid by it though.   It looked more like she _respected_ it.  Like they were one in the same mindset.

“I know.  As long that aligns with the Whitetails, we don’t have a problem.  See you around girl.”  Tammy gave her a small smile.

She left with a newfound sense of understanding.  Tammy wasn’t all that bad.  They both just wanted to make it through this shitty war.  They were both survivors.  The day may come where they had to step on each other to make it out on top.  But for right now, they were okay.  She placed the headphones back in her ears and carried the basket down the hall.  She set it down on the table in the kitchen.  There wasn’t a chance in hell that she was sorting through it for everyone.

Liz was done with her work.  She had promised a call back.  A big part of her didn’t want to live up to that promise.  But if she didn’t, he would find ways to harass her.  He always did.  She put her bat and iPod back by her bed.  She made a quick look around before climbing the emergency exit to the bunker.

When she got outside, it was later in the day than she had thought.  The sun was about to dip below the horizon.  Her busy work had burned up most of the day.  Jacob may not be still waiting for her. 

She probably shouldn’t have been so open to talking to him in the Wolf’s Den.  It had only been pure luck that Eli hadn’t walked in on her.  She needed to talk to him somewhere that no one would hear them.  The peak at the top above the Wolf’s Den would work.  The climb looked daunting, but nothing she couldn’t handle. 

She vaulted over a ledge and slowly made her descent.  Her hands gripped around each layer of rocks that stood in her way.  Her breathing became labored by the time she made it to the top.  There was a log laid out across to the peak of the mountain.  She slowly put one foot in front of the other and scurried across.

The view from the top of the mountain was absolutely gorgeous.  She could see for miles in several directions.  This would also be a good spot for a sniper.  They would be able to kill anyone down below, while staying behind cover.  Jacob would like this spot…

She sat down and leaned back against the rocks.  She grabbed her radio.  No better time to do this now than the present.

“Whitetail’s armory is all organized, thanks to yours truly.”

Part of her didn’t expect him to respond.  She had been absent for most of the day and she had helped burn down most of his camp.  Her hand gripped the radio in anticipation.  The other part of her would be disappointed if he didn’t respond.  What was wrong with her?

When static came through the radio, her heartbeat quickened.  “Surprised it took you so long.  What’s in there, like six guns?”

“Actually there’s…”  She stopped herself when she realized where this was headed.  She wasn’t going to reveal any more information about the Whitetails.  “Nope.  You’re slick but I’m not going to screw up again.”

“You sure about that little lamb?  Because you’ve done a great job so far.  I wonder what else you’ll tell me.”

She rolled her eyes.  “My lips are sealed.  And besides… I don’t think you’d want to hear about my riveting experience of counting bullets.”

“No, I don’t.  Anytime you’re sick of it, you know where to find me.  I’d have you doing so much more important things for me.”

She had somewhat an idea of what those things would be.  That was never going to happen, not ever.  And besides, if she went back to him willingly it wouldn’t end well.  He would get bored with her after and while and then throw her away.  She'd drown in the sand.

“It’s not the work at the Veteran’s Center I had a problem with.  It was the leadership.”  Her tone darkened and the smile faded from her face.  She clutched her legs to her chest.  Her hand began to shake slightly.  The rock behind her didn’t do anything to give her stability.

“So, you just hate my guts.  Is that it?”

Her grip tightened around the radio.  “You hurt me.”

Before all of this she had been normal.  She went to school, had friends, and lived a perfectly posh life.  Now she was a liar, a murder, and a psychopath.  All of it was a result from meeting Jacob Seed.

“I made you strong.”

Her mouth hung open.  “Strong?  You _broke_ me.”

“You are stronger than you were before.  Those cowards may not see that, but I do.  You shouldn’t be with them.”  His tone was soft, and almost endearing.  Like maybe he meant it.

Liz let her knees rest on her chin.  She didn’t know how the hell to respond to that.  She stared out at the horizon.  The last rays of the sun were slowly disappearing.  She didn’t know what to do anymore.  Being with the Whitetails was slowly becoming better but it was far from perfect. 

It always boiled down to options.  If she didn’t have options, there was no survival.  Her first option was to stay with Eli and the Whitetails.  The second was to go back to Jacob.  Neither one seemed better than the other.

“Ya’ know…. Sometimes I wish you killed me already.  Because then…  I wouldn’t have to live with all this shit…”

Tears formed in her eyes.  She didn’t want to cry anymore.  Crying made her weak.  But as much as she fought it, tears found their way down her cheeks.  That night when he took her to his bunker, she had been ready to die.  She had welcomed a peaceful death and she had been robbed of it.

“Because what do I have to live for?  Everyone thinks I’m some crazy cultist.  My parents are dead!  My brother too!  All I have is a beaten down uncle who can’t stand me.” 

Liz truly had no one right now.  Dep and Sharky were nice to her, but they weren’t close with her.  They were just doing their best to include her.  There was no one left who truly loved her for who she was.  Her family had been the only ones and they were all gone.

A sob made its way past her lips.  He definitely heard that.  Shit.  Now would come the scolding of how she was weak.  That crying girls didn’t have a place in his army.  She waited a minute for his response, but it never came.  She decided to ask him something else.

“Did you kill my family, Jacob?”

That was the question that she had been sitting on for quite some time.  Her first time in the cage, he said that her family escaped.  That story was corroborated by Eli, but everything about it didn’t make sense. 

He scoffed.  “Is that what Eli’s been telling you?  Is that why you hate me so much?  Let me make this clear.  I didn’t kill your parents and neither did my men.  Eli’s filling your head with lies.”

“But you were going to kill them.  Right?”

“Yeah.” 

She sighed.  Anytime she came to somewhat of an understanding with him, he always showed his true colors.  “What the hell is wrong with you?  Do you just want to destroy everything?  I just don’t understand.”

Jacob’s philosophy was screwed up in every sense of the word.  He’d probably killed more people than he could count.  Anywhere he went, death and destruction followed.

“I don’t like what I do.  It’s something that I have to do.”

“Oh, that’s bullshit, and you know it!  You love what you do!  I could see it on your face every time you hurt someone.  Killing is the only thing that makes you happy.”  Her voice cracked with every word due to her crying.  She did her best to take deep breaths to calm herself down.

“And you don’t enjoy it?”

“What?”

He sighed.  “You don’t enjoy having power over someone for once?  To know that it doesn’t matter how much they look down on you because you could end their life in an instant.  To make them pay… to make them suffer…”

All her life she had wanted to prove that she was something special, something important.  To show everyone that she wasn’t a child.  She always swore to herself that the day would come that people wouldn’t see her like that anymore.

She thought back to all the people she’s killed.  The man she kicked over the edge, the people she killed during her conditioning, and Andrea.  She could still perfectly see the life draining from Andrea’s eyes.  It had felt really good to hold power over that women.  She had manipulated her and then killed her for no reason.  But it had only felt good for a moment.  After that moment, came the guilt.  And the guilt stayed inside her much longer than the power.

“No.  I don’t enjoy killing others.  I just keep having to do it.” 

Jacob had said once that her purpose had been to survive and his was to die.  She wished for nothing more than for it to be the opposite.  She wasn’t sure if she wanted to live anymore.  She was just a tool, and she didn’t want to be used anymore.

“I-I… don’t even know why I bother talking to you.  I thought you would tell me about what happened to my parents, but no one wants to tell me the truth.  Somebody’s lying to me, you or Eli.  I’ll find out eventually…”  More tears fell down her face.

“It’s not me little lamb.  If I knew I would have told you.”

“Whatever just forget it Jacob.  Leave me alone.”  She sobbed into the radio.

“Li…”

She clicked the radio off, not bothering to hear what he had to say.  He didn’t have the answers she was looking for.  Anytime she talked to him she just got upset.  Maybe one day she would learn but that day didn’t seem like today.  She clipped her radio to her belt and curled into a tighter ball.

It was nighttime now.  The stars were just beginning to come out.  She leaned her head back to stare at them.  It wasn’t her last day in Hope County, but it was nice.  It was just her and the stars.  No one up here could hurt her.

Right now, she was stuck with the Whitetails.  Dep and Sharky would probably be back soon if they weren’t already.  She needed to go back down, but she just wanted to sit there.  The stars were the only thing that gave her peace.

As Liz sat on the rocks, she got her last nice moment in Hope County.  There was no going back.  Now there was only forwards.  Tomorrow a new day was breaking, and she was going to turn it around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Don't Look Back by Boston  
> Youtube Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwrzggS_630  
> ...  
> Hello my wonderful readers! I know I said I would finish up alleyways before posting this chapter but... whoops. I hope y'all are still enjoying this story. I love writing it and love sharing it with you all. As always, I love y'alls feedback to break down what's happening and what y'all like/dislike. Thank you so much to everyone for reading :)


	17. Deputy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Deputy gives a pep talk to his newest Gun for Hire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha, and y'all thought this would never be updated again.

The plan was simple.  Take out the Peggies, don’t get detected, and claim the outpost.  It was a pretty simple plan, but one that could be easily screwed up if everyone didn’t follow it.  It was technically _her_ plan.  She had been the one to tell them about the layout of the Whitetail Park Ranger Station.  She told Dep where every Peggie would be stationed and where every reinforcement in the area was.

Liz rested her back against the office building.  She stood right next to Jacob’s ‘Only You’ poster, angry finger pointed to the world and a scowl on his face.  His ‘sermon’ was being broadcasted across the outposts.

_‘Culture and technology hasn’t improved us.  It’s brought us to our knees.  If our ancestors could see us now, they would be ashamed.  They would be sickened.  They would be angry.’_

Her fingers tapped against her bat.  She only had one job, and that was to take out the alarms.  Dep and Jess were going to take care of the rest.  Neither girl had been thrilled with working with the other.  They agreed to stay out of each other’s way.  Liz would have rather Sharky come along on this occasion, but he wasn’t the best in stealth ops. 

The alarm was around the corner of the building.  Two Peggies constantly patrolled it.  She would have to take them out or wait for her moment.  The latter seemed like the better option.  But it didn't always work out that way.  She slowly creaked open one of the windows to the office and slipped inside. 

One Peggie stood guard with his back to her.  She slowly crept forward, keeping her footsteps silent.  She raised her bat and slammed it down on his head.  He collapsed into a heap on the ground.  Splotches of red covered her bat.  Like always, she had to suppress the sickening feeling in her gut.  Killing was never an easy thing for her.  That made thirteen.

She crept to the door.  She could see Dep positioned atop the Warehouse.  He gave her a small nod.  Two guards walked by the door to the office.  Once they were out of sight, Liz crept out the door.  Her eyes darted around for other guards but didn’t see any.  She was in the clear.

She ran over to the alarm.  She yanked the wires out and clicked the knobs to off.  The Peggies wouldn’t be calling anyone for help.  That was almost too easy.  She rounded the corner of the building only to find another guard.  There wasn’t supposed to be anyone posted there.

“Hey!  They’re here!” The woman shouted.  She raised her gun.  It wasn’t the metal barrel that made Liz panic, but that face holding it.  The woman looked exactly liked Andrea… The same face and the same hazel eyes.  That was impossible though.  Andrea was dead.

In that moment, Liz felt herself freeze.  She couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, and couldn’t move.  She stood there planted like a statue.  Her heart pounded out of her chest.  She felt her bat slip from her hands.  This is how she was going to die, shot by a cultist, standing there like an idiot. 

The woman’s finger was curled around the trigger.  Liz let her eyes flutter close, awaiting her impending doom.  This was okay.  She wanted to die like this.  She deserved to die like this, for what she had done to Andrea. 

The bullet never came.  Instead she heard a gargling sound and something wet splatter across her face.  She opened her eyes to see an arrow sticking out of the woman’s eye socket.  She gasped.  The woman collapsed onto the ground in front of her.  Jess stood on the other side of the property, bow raised.

“Get your fucking head in the game, Palmer!”  Jess shook her head and ran off in the other direction. 

Liz felt her hands shake.  She stumbled until her back hit the metal wall.  There was gunfire and shouting in the background, but she tuned it out.  Her legs gave out and she curled into a ball on the ground.  All she could do was stare at the woman.  The only thing she could see was the cult VIP that she had manipulated and murdered in cold blood.

She buried her face into her knees.  The ruckus around her continued as Dep and Jess presumably took out the rest of the cultists.  They were doing just fine without her.  Everyone was better off without her.  The whole time she sat curled up there hoping a stray bullet would hit her.

Eventually there was no more shooting.  Her hands stopped trembling.  She felt someone grab her arm.  She jolted upwards, looking for the suspect.  But it was only Dep.

“You okay, Liz?”

She looked back over the woman that Jess had killed.  She didn’t see Andrea’s face anymore.  She had been imagining it.  Andrea wasn’t there, because Andrea was laying dead in the Henbane.  Liz let out a deep breath. 

“No.  I’m not okay.”

Someone came stomping around the corner.  She looked up to see Jess fuming.  Her bow rested in her hand in a vice grip.  “What kind of bullshit was that!”

“Jess.” Dep said.

“I had to save her ass again!  She almost got us fucking killed!”

Dep stepped forward to grab Jess.  His hands rested on her shoulders.  He pulled her aside to tell her something that Liz could barely hear.  Once again though, there was something almost gentle about the way Dep talked to her.  Almost like he cared for her.  Her suspicions were confirmed when his thumb brushed across her cheek.  A small amount of blush formed on her cheeks from it.

Jess was clearly upset, and he was doing his best to comfort her.  He looked at Jess like she was the most precious thing on the planet.  Liz couldn’t help but feel a little jealous… because she had no one.  There was no one that truly needed her.  Everyone would just be better off if she was dead.

Their conversation lasted for a few minutes.  Jess left them, still looking angry.  She couldn’t help but wonder what was said between the two.  Dep walked back over to her.  He extended a hand to help her up.

“Let’s go for a walk.”

She shook her head.  “No.  I’m good.”

“Liz… you just almost got yourself killed.  We need to talk.”

“Okay.”  Hallucinating Andrea had completely fucked her up.  And in result, she had almost messed up her own plan because of it.  She picked her bat up off the ground and followed Dep. 

Resistance members already had begun to filter into the camp.  They started clearing out some of the bodies and Peggie flags.  Everyone acknowledged Dep when they walked by, but not her…  She was just the cult girl, the traitor.  The rebels treated Dep the same way that the Peggies treated Jacob.  It wasn’t a shocker that everyone looked up to Dep.  He was their savior after all.  He had taken out more of the cult single handedly than all of the Whitetails combined. 

When they walked by Jacob’s poster, something inside Liz snapped.  She ran over to it and ripped it down from the wall.  She put her foot right in Jacob’s face.  She stomped on it a few more times before feeling satisfied.

“You feel better?”

“Extremely.”  She glared at the crumbled-up poster like it could get up and attack her at any moment.

“Good.  But let’s get out of here before you break anything else.”  He raised his eyebrow at her.  She shrugged in response.  They walked north from the outpost.  She did her best to ignore the glares from Whitetails as she walked by.  She could hear their whispers about how she sold them out.  But none of that even happened.  Rumors just spread like wildfire in small towns and apparently in small militias too.

She kept her eyes firmly planted on the ground as she followed Dep.  They walked a few yards south from the outpost.  The whole time she thought about calling up the one person that might understand.  He was also the one person that she shouldn’t talk to but did it anyway.

They walked until they came to a small hunting blind ontop of a hill.  There were two lawn chairs sitting underneath them.  Dep sat down in one and motioned her to do the same.  She obliged.

“Why are we here, Dep?”                 

He gave her a strange look before propping his feet up on the railing of the blind.  Where the hell was this going?  This felt exactly like what her brother used to do when he had something important to say.  He would screw with her head a little bit before just getting to the damn point.  Guys just sucked.

“I know you’re feeling like shit, girl.  And I know that you’re doing the best you can.”

She scoffed.  “Yeah I am feeling like shit.  I just fucked up the entire plan and almost got myself killed.”

It was truly a miracle that she wasn’t dead right now.  That woman should have shot her.  She should be dead right now.  She _wished_ she was dead right now.  But things had a funny way of working out the opposite of the way she wanted them. 

“Yeah… you totally fucked it up.  We took the outpost and none of us got hurt.  That’s the definition of a fuck up.”

She turned towards him in shock.  Damn.  Dep could be snarky.  “Jess had to save me from being killed.  I alerted the guards.  I…”

“Hey!  That is not your fault.  Okay.  We all freeze up every now and then.”

“Oh please, Dep.  You can’t do anything wrong.  Everyone thinks you’re their hero.”

He chuckled and shook his head.  “I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, Liz.  But I’m kind of the master of fucking shit up.  Did I ever tell you about the first outpost I took?”

“No.”

He grinned harder.  “Well… it was pretty bad.  I had just helped take back the jail.  Had no idea what I was doing.  I ended up getting chased by a turkey all the way to Whistling Beaver Brewery.  Well, I alerted all of the guards and they called reinforcements.  I had to fight off three helicopters with a sniper rifle all of because that _goddamn_ turkey.”

Liz couldn't help but smile at his story.  Yep, that sounded like a normal day in Hope County to her.  It was nice to hear that she wasn’t the only fuck up on the team.  Maybe she should stop being so hard on herself. 

“Yeah… that’s pretty bad.  That story gives Sharky a run for his money.”

“Oh, hell yeah.  But don’t tell him that story.  He’ll make fun of me.”

“Don’t worry.  You’re secret’s safe with me.”

She sighed.  Even though Dep had fucked up several times over, no one was calling him a Peggie.  But the Whitetails called her one.  Everyone thought she was ‘Jacob’s little bitch’ as Jess so eloquently put it.  She wasn’t either of those things though.  She was just a broken girl trying to navigate through this war.

“Dep… can I ask why you even have me as a gun for hire?  Because the more I think about it… I have nothing that can help you.  I’m worthless…”

His face went slack.  He removed his cowboy hat and placed it on the ground.  “Hey… look at me.  You are not worthless okay.”

“But all the Whitetails…”

“Doesn’t matter what they say.  They’re not important.  And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Sharky, Wheaty, and I freaking love you.  And I think Jess likes you too…”

She was so thankful to have the boys in her life.  She hadn’t known them very long, but they all got along pretty well.  They were like her trio of older brothers, always looking out for her.  Three new brothers in her life, to replace the real one she had lost.  She couldn’t be thinking about that now.  David Jr. was gone.  She just had to accept that.  But Jess was not someone that was important in her life. 

She scoffed.  “If my broken nose has anything to say about it, yeah I’d say we’re best friends.”

“Jess could have easily let you die today.  But she didn’t.  She saved your life.  I think that means something.”

Liz hadn’t really thought about that.  He had somewhat of a point.  If Jess hadn’t saved her, it wouldn’t have been the archer’s fault.  It would have just been Liz’s fault that she was dead.  But there was always some other motivation behind people’s deeds.  No one did things out of the goodness of their hearts.

“And the real reason I wanted you on the team Liz, is because I thought you two would get along.”

“Really?  Why the hell would you think that?”

A small smile crossed his lips.  “Because you’re both amazing, strong women.  Who went through some shit that they shouldn’t have.  And I thought you could both use a friend who would understand.”

As nice as the thought was, Liz couldn’t see herself being friends with Jess.  She didn’t need someone to talk about her feelings with.  It didn't matter if anyone understood.  She just needed her problem on the other end of the radio to be solved.

“You two seem like a bit more than friends.”

Dep gave her a look that was somewhat between amusement and annoyance.  He sighed.  “Is it that obvious?”

“Holy shit.  I was right?  I mean I was just taking a wild guess.  Damn Dep…”  So, he and Jess really were a thing.  She hadn’t been so sure a few days ago when she saw them.  But there was no denying what they had.  It was kind of sad to think about at times.  Liz knew that there was no room for that in all this shit.  It could only end badly. 

“Yeah well… don’t go spreading it around.  I don’t care if anyone knows, but Jess is a little anal about this shit.  She doesn’t want anyone thinking that she’s soft.”

Liz scoffed.  “I don’t think anyone would ever think that… ever.  But can I ask, why her?  I mean I don’t know her all that well, but she’s kinda a bitch.”

Dep only laughed.  “I guess some men some men like em’ _feisty_.  In all ways.”

It took her a minute to realize the meaning behind his words.  She rolled her eyes.  “That’s gross Dep.”  Besides, some men were just foolish.  And by some, she meant all of the males in Hope County.  Not that the ones down south were much better.  But in Montana, they sure were a special kind of breed. 

“What about you, Liz?  You leave anybody behind when you came back here?”

She shook her head.  How did they get to talking about relationships?  That topic was a little too touchy for her, but she decided to indulge him anyways.  “Nope.  There was nobody…  But I did have a thing with your boy Pratt back in the day.  Don’t know if he ever told you that.”

“Nah.  It never came up…”  Of course, it hadn’t.  She didn’t know why she wanted to talk about her ex anyways.  Nothing good was going to come from hashing up her old life.  “…But I was only here a month before all this shit went down.”

“Really?  That’s it?  You really are the rookie!”

“Would it make you feel better if you called me Rook?”

She laughed and shook her head.  “No.  You’re Dep.  Always will be.”

“Good.”

They sat in silence for a minute.  As always, Dep had a way of making her feel a little bit better.  He was a good guy.  She was lucky to have him as a friend.

“I just… I don’t know Dep.  Being with the Whitetails just ain’t what I imagined it to be.  You know I thought about being rescued every day when I was with him?”  Those had been the only thoughts that had gotten her through being captured.  She had begged every single day that a Whitetail would come and snatch her away, until the day that it did happen.  And she hadn’t been given the kindest welcome. 

She sighed.  “Then I get here, and I’m just the _Peggie_ girl.  Everybody thinks I’m going to turn on them, and I haven’t even done anything yet.  I-I think… that even Eli is disappointed in me.”  All of the Whitetails hated her.  If she just died, no one would care.  Not even her own uncle…

Dep shook his head.  “You know I think that’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said.  Like... Sharky level stupid.  Eli’s not ashamed of you.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Because he’s ashamed of _himself_.  I can see it every time he looks at you.  He doesn’t blame you for what happened, he only blames himself.  Do you know what he asked me when I first met him?”

Liz shook her head.

“It was right after he pulled me out of the Grand View.  He said I couldn’t leave the bunker until I helped him.  He told me about how you were captured, about how Jacob was using you, and he _begged_ me to go save you.  I… hadn’t been too sure at the time.  I was against getting you out…”

“Wow thanks!” She scoffed.

“Hey, would you have done anything differently?”

“Eh, nope.”  If she had been the Deputy, she wouldn’t have saved anyone.  She would just left Hope County.  She would have saved herself.  To hell with everybody else.

“Anyways… Eli had to convince me to go get you.  When I asked him why, I’ll never forget what he said.  He looked me in the eyes and said that you were the only family that he had left.  That you didn’t deserve what was happening to you.  And he said that you were the most fun person to be around, that you were his _best friend._ And that… if the joy in your eyes went away, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.”

It had been a long time since she and Eli had been best friends.  That last time had been probably when she was 7 and he had been 17.  He would drive her around places and take her to get junk food.  Those had been the days.  That all changed after he and his girlfriend were expecting a baby.  Her relationship with her uncle didn’t truly crumble though until that one day in December.  It had gotten better over time, but now it was just as broken as it had been when his son died.  Now, he was also trying to be her father, not her friend.

“Did he really say all that?”

“Every word.  I don't know if I've ever seen any joy in your eyes, Liz.  I didn't know you before all this.  But the girl that Eli described that night and the one that I've gotten to know are two different people.  And I just think... that broke Eli.”

If only her uncle knew what being broken really meant...  To have your mind completely torn apart.  Eli hadn’t been captured or tortured.  He had brought this war onto himself.  All he had to do was leave Hope County.  Instead, he decided to fight the one man that was impossible to beat.

"Yeah well, I don't know what he expects from me.  Because Elizabeth Palmer is dead..."

"Is that what your buddy on the other end of the radio tells you?  That you're dead?  You're only going to find pain there." Dep said.

Her head perked up in surprise.  The way he said it almost made it seem like he knew.  Because… he did.  He’d met Jacob face-to-face.  He knew what went on at the Veteran’s Center.  Anytime anyone met the eldest Seed, all they got was pain.  Besides She, Dep, and Pratt had gotten the worst of it from Jacob.

"He's not my friend.  He was just the one that killed her.  I don’t want to talk about _him_ though. I’m fine.  Let’s just go back to the Station.”

Liz stood up and slung her bat over her back.  Dep just sat there with his feet propped up on the blind.  Their talk had been nice, but it didn’t change anything.  She was just as upset as she had been earlier for freezing up.  She began to walk away.

“You seemed pretty eager to talk to me yesterday, sweetheart.”

She stopped dead in her tracks.  Her eyes darted around, searching for the voice that she knew all too well.  She searched through the trees and bushes but came up empty.  There was no ginger haired asshole lurking in the trees for her.  It wasn’t until she looked down at her radio that she realized.  She had been sitting on it the entire time.  She stomped her foot in frustration.

“Damn it.”  She hissed.

She looked over to Dep to see that he had scrambled up from his chair as well.  There was fear in his eyes.  Jacob had that power over them.  With a few simple words, he could convert them both into a submissive puddle.  She gave Dep a weary look before holding the button to the radio down.

“How much of that did you hear, Seed?”

“More than you would have liked me to.”  That asshole probably had the biggest smirk on his face right now.  Liz would love nothing more than to slap it right off him.

She let go of the button and looked at Dep.  “What do I do?”

“Hell, if I know.  You’re the idiot who sat on the radio!”

A scowl crossed her face.  “That was an accident!”

Jacob continued to talk, unaware of their bickering.  “And I can’t believe you’re still running around with the Deputy.  How you doing, Cowboy?  You still culling the herd for me?”

Liz threw the radio at Dep like it was a live bomb.  She didn’t want anything to do with that thing.  Dep caught it with both hands.  He sighed before holding the button down.  “What do you want, Jacob?”

“Well, I didn’t want anything today.  Not until I heard my precious little lamb talking to you, Deputy.  That’s not something that I’m happy about.”  She felt blush rise in her cheeks.  Why did he have to say shit like that?  It just always made her uncomfortable.  She bit her lip in embarrassment.  “Honey, I thought I told you that if I caught you alone with the Deputy, that there would be consequences.”

She snatched the radio back from Dep, nostrils flaring.  “You don’t get to control what I do!”

“You should know by now that you belong to me.  You _both_ do.  Little lamb, if you continue to hang around Deputy and his band of misfits, it’ll all end bloody.  For everyone.  Including you.”

She rolled her eyes.  “Oh please, what are you going to do to punish me?  Send your hunters after me?”

Liz scoffed.  The idea was ridiculous.  Jacob never did anything himself.  That hadn’t been him out there that night when she rode back to the bunker with Dep.  She refused to believe it.  It had only been only one of his hunters.  Jacob would never do anything himself when he had a whole legion of men to do things for him.  She was fine.  Her empty threat would yield nothing.

A clicking sound came from the radio, singling that he had tuned out.  “Seed?” She asked.  There was still silence.  She looked over to Dep.  He just stayed quiet.

“Seed?”  It was about a minute before static came from the other end.

“I’ve given you time to run around and play hero, but I think it’s time that you come back home.  You said you were at the Ranger Station, right?”  Her face went slack.  No.  He knew where she was.  Of course, he would.  They had taken his outpost.  He knew everything that happened in these mountains.

“I just sent the order out to my hunters.  I’ll see you soon, little lamb.” 

No.  Liz felt like she could throw up.  She didn’t want to go back to him.  No.  She couldn’t go back to that place.  His men were going to come for her.  She wouldn’t even be surprised if the words _‘You’re being hunted’_ flashed up in front of her eyes.

“Dep… what do I do?” 

He sighed and gave her a look that she would never forget.  It was the look of a man that had truly lost hope.  A look that told her he couldn’t do anything to help.

“Run.”

That was the only thing that he said, but it was all she needed to convince her to haul ass.  She gathered up all her shit and sprinted off in the other direction of the outpost.  Her boots slammed the forest floor in a frenzy.  Trees whizzed by her peripheral vision.  She had no destination in mind, only to get the hell out of there.

Her legs burned with every stride.  Her breathing became shallow.  The last time she had ran this fast was on the softball field.  But this wasn’t a game… this was life and death.  She couldn’t go back to him.  She couldn’t.  She didn’t think she could handle it.  Not again. 

She got about half a mile from the outpost before an arrow whizzed by her.  It sliced into her arm, cutting her shirt sleeve open and leaving a nasty wound behind. 

“Ah!”  Her footsteps slowed.  They were here.  She clutched at her arm but kept moving. 

Her head started to feel dizzy.  That arrow had been drugged.  Red began to cloud her vision.  She kept moving.  Her feet dragged against the grass as she tried to stand upright.  This isn’t how she wanted to get taken down.  But she couldn’t fight the drug.  It became too much.  She began to see white spots in her vision.  She collapsed onto her knees in defeat. 

“You even hit her?”

Liz felt someone grip her hair and yank her head upwards.  She cried out in pain.  She stared down two-no three Chosen members.  She didn't know which ones were real and which ones were just a blur.

“Shit.” She cured.

“Yeah I hit her.  But Jacob said she wasn’t to be harmed.  Don’t want to piss him off.”

The Chosen members eyed her up and down.  “She won’t be.”

The man slammed his compound bow against her forehead.  Her body hit the ground.  The effects of the drug quickly came over her.  Red clouded her vision as she passed out.  She would be seeing her old friend again very soon…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, to y'all who still give a shit about this fic thanks for reading. You guys are the best. Much love to all of you. Also like, y'all comment things because i love talking with y'all and explaining things. And I just love y'all.  
> Oh, are our little lamb and mountain man will be reuniting in the next chapter :))  
> \---  
> Also how this chapter should have really gone:  
> Liz: i'm a piece of shit. i should just die because no one cares about me.  
> Jacob, probably lurking in the background somewhere: ??? okay, well fuck me i guess


	18. So Good to See You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly this is my favorite chapter I have ever written. Hope you guys like it.

There were few times in Liz’s life when she knew she had screwed up big time.  Once when she was eight and she had hit a softball through her mother’s kitchen window.  Again, when she didn’t study for that important final her sophomore year of college.  And finally, when she had decided to taunt the most powerful man in the Whitetail Mountains.

The first two times had not ended well for her, and she had no doubt that this would not end well either.

Her head was throbbing.  It took a minute for her vision to come back to her.  Light shone into her eyes.  The ground underneath her was hard and cold.  She slowly propped herself up on her arms and rubbed her eyes, only to see bars all around her.  She was in a cage at the Veteran’s Center.  Which was no surprise.  Those hunters had gotten to her.

“Well, if it isn’t Ms. Elizabeth Palmer.”

Her heart lept up into her chest.  There was that voice she would recognize anywhere.  She turned her head to the side to see Jacob.  He stood nonchalantly outside of the cage, a smirk across his face.  Everything about him was the same.  Same jacket, same beard, and the same face that she just wanted to slap.  Pratt was cowering behind him, with his hands clasped in front.

She rolled her eyes.  “Go to hell.”

She let herself fall back to the ground.  She covered her face with her forearm and let out a sigh.  “And… really?  A cage?”

Holy shit.  She was captured again.  When was the last time she saw Jacob in person?  Had it only been days… or a week?  She honestly couldn’t remember.  She also couldn’t remember the last time she saw Pratt in person either. 

He chuckled.  “So nice to have you back, little lamb.  I missed having you around here.”

“Well, I haven’t missed you.”  She sat back up and propped her elbows on her knees.  Jacob gripped the bars on the outside of the cage.  She made sure to stay as far from him as possible.

He eyed her up and down.  A gaze that wasn’t out of desire, but out of _curiosity_.  “God, you look like shit.”

Her mouth hung open.  What an ass.  He spent the last week trying to get her back.  And now that he had her, he was insulting her.  But in all honesty, she probably did look like shit.  Bruises still covered her neck from being choked, _by him._  Her nose was disfigured and broken from her fight with Jess.

“Your hair’s shorter though.  Looks good like that.” He said.

She ran a hand through her ponytail and re-adjusted her ballcap.  She had to bite her lip to fight back the smile that was forming.  What the hell was wrong with her?  Anytime Jacob made some little observation about her, she always folded.  It seemed to be her only weakness.

“You always look like shit, Seed.”

“I’d watch your mouth there, sweetheart.  Keep talking like that, you won’t like what I do to ya’.”  He gripped the bars tighter.

She shook her head in frustration.  “Oh please, what are you going to do?  You’ve already put me through hell.  If you’re going to kill me, go ahead and do it.  Then I wouldn’t have to see your ugly face anymore.”

“Now where’s the fun in that?  I’m not going to kill ya’ yet.  Not when you have so much to tell me.  And we still have so much _catching up_ to do.”

The way the words rolled off his tongue made her uncomfortable.  She tried to never think about what Jacob’s true intentions were.  She didn’t want to know.  She suppressed any thoughts of things like that deep down.

“Is that why you sent your hunters after me?”

His stance shifted, and a scowl crossed over his face.  “I sent them because you have become a problem to my operation.  You’ve continued to help the Deputy, when I told you not to.  You’ve burned down one of my camps and taken an outpost.  You need to re-learn your purpose.  And you’ve been taking my men out, with _this_ of all things?”

He raised her bat from his side.  He held it up by the strap, dangling it in front of her like it was candy.  It reflected the sunlight into her eyes.  Liz bounded up and jammed her arm through the bars, flailing as she tried to grab it.

He took a step back, snatching it from her reach.  “Ah, ah, ah.  It’s not going to be that easy, little lamb.”

“Give that back!  It’s mine!”  Her face scrunched up in anger.

“No.  You took something of mine.  Now I’m taking something of yours.”

She slammed her hands on the bars.  That bat might be the only thing that made her feel like her old self.  Without it, she was just broken.  She was just a killer.  Dep had also given it to her.  She didn’t want to lose it.

“Give it to me!  Please Jacob…”

He gave her a smirk before chunking it into the cage next to her.  It clattered on the ground.  A judge occupied the cage.  Shit.

“If it’s so important to you, go get it.”

“You’re such a dick.”  She gave him a glare.

He sighed.  “So, you’ve told me.”

She slowly walked over the bars and squatted.  The bat was laying in the middle of the cage and the judge was curled up asleep on the far end.  She stuck her hand through to the other side.  It was far enough away that she had to stick her whole arm through.  She clawed at the dirt trying to grab it.  After a few tries she was able to get one of her fingers around the strap.  She carefully began to drag it back to her. 

Before she could safely bring it back, Jacob’s foot collided with the bars.  It rattled the whole cage.  The judge’s eyes opened.  A growl came from the creature.  In an instant, it got up and charged straight at her. 

“Shit!”  She was able to pull her hand from the cage at the last second.  She had to let go of the bat.  She scrambled away from the edge.  The judge continued to throw itself at the bars, foaming at the mouth ready to rip her in two.  It was doing everything in its power to try to get to her.

Jacob let out a low whistle.  “That sure was something, sweetheart.  I thought you were smarter than that, but maybe I was wrong.”

She collapsed into a heap on the ground.  “Yeah… maybe you were.”

There was no true reason for Jacob keeping her alive.  She wasn’t strong or smart.  She wasn’t a soldier.  He just wanted to screw with her head.  

She looked over to Pratt.  He had been standing in the same place for the entire time.  His eyes were fixated on the ground.  He hadn’t reacted to anything, even her arm almost being torn off.

“I see you got my old job, Pratt.  He hasn’t kicked your teeth in too much, has he?”

Jacob stepped in front of him.  Not in a protective manner, but possessively.  “No, sweetheart.  You don’t talk to Peaches.  Only to me.”

“What?  I can’t talk to my friend?”

He scoffed.  “You and Peaches seem to be more than friends.”

From the sound of it, Jacob was jealous.  She didn’t know why he would be.  There was nothing between her and Pratt.  And there sure as hell wasn’t anything going on with the two of them. 

“You really still think that?  I doubt Staci told you what really happened.  Yeah… we used to date, but it didn’t end well.  You want to tell the story, or should I?”  She started Pratt down.  He didn’t move a muscle.  His eyes stayed fixated on the ground.  She got up and approached him. 

She scoffed.  “Okay well, I guess it’ll be me.  Remember Staci, how you begged me to go to prom with you?  You even asked my brother and everything.  I was so excited to go with you.  And then the day of prom happened, what did you do?”  Still no response came from him.  She shook her head.  “Fifteen minutes into the dance, you ditched me to go hook up with Tracey Lader!  I spent the whole night crying over you!”

She noticed the scowl fade form Jacob’s face at the mention of that.  He gave her a look.  He almost looked like he felt sorry for her.  But he didn’t.  He didn’t care about her.  It was just another one of those things that he did and that she noticed.  It didn’t mean anything.  It just happened.

“And then you barely ever talked to me ever again.  I thought we were at least friends…”

Jacob was like a foreigner to their conversation, but he seemed invested in it.  He looked back at Pratt.  “Damn. That’s cold, Peaches.  You got anything to say to Ms. Palmer?”

Liz rolled her eyes.  “Oh, shut up!  Now you wanna’ play Mr. Nice Guy?  You’re the asshole who kidnapped me!”

Jacob grabbed the front of her shirt and snatched her towards him.  His attitude changed on a dime.  Gone was the caring gaze and in its place were the eyes of a killer.  Her chest slammed into the cage.  He threatened to pull her through the bars.  A huff made it past her lips.  His hands stayed curled in her shirt.  She had no choice but to look him dead in the eye when he spoke to her.

“I told you told watch your mouth.”

She wrapped her hands around his, trying to get him to let go.  But as always, it was no use.  He wasn’t letting her go.  He wasn’t going to kill her either.  A wicked grin flashed across her face.  She was going to do the one thing that she shouldn’t… run her mouth. 

“You know, I didn’t know I’d be seeing _both_ of my ex’s today.”

Both Jacob and Pratt looked confused at her comment.

“My ex-boyfriend…”  She gestured to Pratt.  “And my ex- _kidnapper!_ ”  She tightened her grip around his wrists.  She wasn’t intimidated by anything that Jacob could do to her.  He’d already done everything.  She grinned in the face of death, literally. 

“I’m still not sure which of you I hate more.  You dumped me at prom and broke my heart.  And you… well… you know what you did.”

Jacob didn’t look amused.  He pulled her tighter against the bars and drew his knife.  Liz’s eyes grew wide.  She tried to arch her neck away from the blade, but it didn’t do any good.  He rested the cool metal on her face.  She let out a shaky breath. 

“Hold still, sweetheart.  Wouldn’t want to mess up that pretty little face of yours.”

Her hands began to shake.  As he drug the side of the blade across her face, her confidence disappeared.  He had called her bluff, and he was spot on. 

“Jacob…”

“Shhh.” 

The blade drug across the length of her cheek and made it’s was to her lips.  The pressure was firm, but not enough to cut her.  He knew exactly what he was doing.  This was just another thing to remind her that she wasn’t in control.  That no matter how many times she yelled at him, he would always win. 

He drifted the knife further to her neck.  “You’re a lot quieter, honey.  What’s the problem?  Cat got your tongue?”

She swallowed the saliva that had been forming in her mouth.  The blade felt like it was digging deeper into her throat, but it wasn’t.  It was in the perfect spot where it wouldn’t hurt her.  It traveled down to the front of her shirt and in between her breasts. 

In one swift motion, Jacob cut open the top two buttons on her shirt.  She took a sharp breath.  The upper part of her chest was exposed.  She squirmed against his grip.  He used the knife to push the parts of her shirt aside.

Jacob’s face went slack.  At first, she thought that he had been looking down her shirt.  But it wasn’t that.  He looked like he was about to be sick.  He was staring at her neck.  It was still covered in dark, ugly bruises from that night.  They still hadn’t healed.  Jacob’s handiwork was truly amazing. 

He lowered the knife and ran his thumb across the sore skin.  It was only for a moment, but it made her shudder all the same.  He released her from his grasp, and she stumbled backwards in the cage.  She struggled to piece back together the remnants of the top of her shirt.  She didn’t want anyone else to see her neck.

“Forgot how much of an asshole you were.”

He holstered his knife.  “That’s your own fault.”

“Yeah…”  She sighed.  They stood there for a moment just staring at one another.  It always came to this.  She tired to think back to a time when she and Jacob had nice moments but kept coming back empty.  They were there somewhere.  But it seemed like every time they met it came to this.  At this point, he was practically her arch-nemesis.

“How’s Eli been treating you?”

Her head perked up and she rolled her eyes.  “Fine.”

“Doesn’t your dear uncle want to use you though?  He lets you run around with Dep, when he knows that you could get killed.”

She should have never told him that.  Now he would only use it against her, just like everything else.  Sometimes she just couldn’t help it though.  It was just easy to tell him things.  Even telling him those things would bite her in the ass later.

“Well, at least he never put me in a cage!” 

He chuckled.  “That’s because I couldn’t have you running away, sweetheart.  Not when we still have business.”

“And what business is that exactly?  You still haven’t told me why the hell I’m here!”

His stance shifted.  The smiled faded from his face.  “You’re right.  I need to stop beating around the bush.  The reason you’re here is because… you’re going to help me kill Eli.”

She released a shaky breath.  That wasn’t what she had been expecting but it made sense.  That was the one thing that he wanted most of all.  Eli was his greatest enemy.  His death would completely dismantle the Whitetails.

“And what makes you think that I’ll help you do that?”

“Because I know you’ll do anything to survive.”

He wasn’t wrong there.  She didn’t care who she had to step on, as long as she lived.  She didn’t know if that extended to Eli, but she might soon find out.

“This doesn’t have to be a bad thing, Liz.  And you know what?  Since you like _options_ so much, I’ll give you a few.”  Her eyes grew wide.  He couldn’t be serious, could he?  Jacob never gave her a choice for anything. 

“First one, you can sit right there and be a good little lamb.  You can join the Chosen and accept the _word of the Father._ Or two, we can go upstairs right now, and you can tell me where the Wolf’s Den is.  And if you tell me where it is… I’ll let you leave.”

Her eyes grew wide as she slowly approached him.  “Leave Hope County?  You really mean that?”

“Got your interest now, huh?”

“Don’t bullshit me Seed!  Do you mean it?  If I tell you where the Whitetails hide, you’ll let me leave the county?”  That was the one thing she had been trying to do not too long ago.  She wouldn’t have to fight, kill, or be used by anyone.  She could go live a normal life, away from this war.  Everything would be okay. 

“Yes.”  She studied his eyes to see if he was lying, but he wasn’t.  He was telling her the truth.

She extended her hand through the bars of the cage.  “You got yourself a deal.”

Jacob was in complete shock.  Even Pratt looked up from the ground to stare at her.  They probably hadn’t expected it to be that easy.  He cautiously clasped her hand.  His monstrous hand completely covered hers, and it was a little sweaty.  They shook on the deal.

“So good to see you come to your senses, sweetheart.”

Pratt stepped forward with the keys to the cage.  He unlocked it and opened the door.  She didn’t try to run.  There were too many guards with guns around.  They would shoot her down in an instant.  Pratt gently grabbed her wrists and bound them with rope.  He worked methodically without being told.  He was too far broken and too far under Jacob’s thumb to do anything else. 

He placed a hand on her shoulder and pushed her out of the cage.  He kept it there as they walked.  Her bat still laid in the cage beside her.  The judge was sitting on it, guarding it.  There was no getting it back now.

Jacob led the way through the maze of cages.  She noticed that people were staring at her.  A few of them even whispered that she was a traitor.  They were all Whitetails that had overheard the deal she made.  She didn’t care what they thought.  It wouldn’t matter in the end.  She would outlive all of them.

She tried to keep her head held high as she stomped across the grounds.  Everyone was staring at them.  They had every reason to.  Jacob had his little lamb back and she had just agreed to take down the Whitetails for him.  She was surprised that he wasn’t jumping for joy right now.  He seemed to be more shocked than anything. 

She stared at the back of his head the entire walk up to his office.  Pratt’s hand stayed on her shoulder the whole time.  She didn’t bother looking around.  She knew where everything was.  When she got out of here, she knew exactly what route she was going to take.

When they made it up to his office, the ropes had begun to dig into her wrists.  Jacob’s office was almost exactly the same as she left it.  Pratt let go of her and shut the door behind her.  She was alone with Jacob.

“Come on over sweetheart.  Don’t be shy.”

Liz slowly walked over to his desk.  He put a hand on her shoulder and pushed her into the chair.  A map of the mountains was laid out on the desk.  How many times had she done this bullshit now?  She’d spilled her guts to both sides.  Neither time had accomplished anything for anyone.

“Here’s how this will work, little lamb.  You give me a location.  If it checks out, the deal stays.  I’ll drive you over to the border and drop you off myself.”

“Is that it?”  She kept her eyes on the map.  She didn’t look up at him.  She didn’t want to see if he was actually lying or not.

“That’s it.”

Sure, it was.  There was always a catch with Jacob.  It only depended on how long it took her to figure it out.  She just smiled.  That was the only thing that would get her through it. 

 _‘Just play your part.  It’ll be over soon.’_   She thought.

She pointed to a spot on the map.  It was to the northeast of the Whitetails, in the complete opposite direction of the bunker.  Fort Drubman.

He scoffed.  “You really expect me to believe that?”

“I don’t care if you believe it.  That’s where the Wolf’s Den is.”

“We checked out Drubman’s place years ago.  He doesn’t fight with Palmer.”

She turned her head back to stare him down.  “You’re right.  He didn’t before.  But Eli promised that all of the Whitetails would vote for him when all this was over.  You tell me a politician who wasn’t swayed by votes.”

He gave her a small smile.  Liz couldn’t help but smile herself.  She knew she shouldn’t have, not with what she was planning.  This just felt right though.  The two of them together again, scheming, planning, and bantering.  The feeling faded as soon as she thought about the bruises on her neck.

“The entrance is hidden.  It’s a couple yards east of the house.  There’s only one.”  She picked up one of the markers off the table.  It was kind of difficult to write with both her hands bound but she was able to draw a semi-decent circle.  Who knows what was actually outside Fort Drubman.  She had no idea, but Jacob didn’t need to know that.

He leaned over her shoulder, studying the map.  She couldn’t tell if he actually believed the bullshit she was feeding him.  But he didn’t object.  He just carefully studied the map.  If this plan worked, Jacob wouldn’t make it to Fort Drubman alive.

“Let’s go check it out now.  The sooner I get out of here the better…”  She stood up from the table and tried to make her way to the door. 

Jacob held his hand up to stop her.  It wasn’t forceful enough to hurt her, but he halted her in her tracks all the same.  He gently held it there.  It was almost an endearing gesture.  Almost…

He let out a sigh.  “How stupid do you think I am, sweetheart?”

Damn it.  There it was.  He called another one of her bluffs.  He was so good at that.  Maybe she should just stop trying to lie to him.  It would save them both so much time.

When she tried to walk away again, his hand curled around her arm.  “You really thought you would be able to drag me all the way to Fort Drubman.  Were you hoping for his idiot son to blow me to hell with a rocket launcher?”

“No, I-I…” 

 _‘Yes.’_ She thought.

She felt so helpless right now.  Her plan was in complete shambles.  She would have preferred to be out of his compound when she made her move.  But with this disaster, called for a little improvisation.

“I don’t appreciate it when you lie to me.”

“I know.  I just…”  The real reason she didn’t tell him, is that because she didn’t want to hurt Eli.  As big as an asshole as her uncle was, they were still family.  She couldn’t just kill her own uncle.

Jacob stepped towards her.  Most likely to scare her.  She wasn’t though.  He had already hurt her a million times over.  She was done letting him push her around and use her.  She took a step towards him to stare him down. 

“How you gonna’ get yourself out of this one, little lamb?”  His tone was mocking her.

She had to strain her neck to look up at him.  This man had done so much to hurt her.  He had kidnapped, starved, and beaten her.  He was the man that killed Elizabeth Palmer.  He also had said that she was his soldier.  It was time to start acting like it.  No more hiding.  No more pretending.  How exactly was Liz going to get out of this?  Well… she still had one more trick up her sleeve.  One that might be a little unorthodox but might still work.

She reached up a grabbed the collar of his jacket and yanked him down towards her.  He stumbled, grabbing her hips for support.  He hadn’t been expecting that.  In an instant, he removed her ballcap and tossed it across the room.  Her hair fell to her shoulders.  She moved her hand so that it rested on the side of his face. 

He took notice and pulled her closer to him.  His lips hovered inches from hers.  Their noses brushed across each other’s.  He was so close that she could kiss him if she wanted to.  But she didn’t.  She wasn’t here for that.

They stayed like that for a minute.  It was nice, peaceful even.  It made her think of being back at Seed Ranch, before everything all went to shit.  Liz stared into his eyes.  She made sure to remember what they looked like.  After this she wouldn’t ever see them again.  This was the last nice moment they would share… before she killed him. 

Jacob’s eyes fluttered close for half a second.  That was all that she needed.  Liz thrusted her knee up into his crotch.  Something that was a mix between a whimper and a growl, came from Jacob.  His hands fell from her hips and he slightly buckled over. 

She shoved him away.  Her hand curled into a fist and collided with his jaw.  A cracking sound came from it, more damage was done to her hand than his face.  She shook her hand out before lunging after his knife.  Jacob had already recovered.  He caught her hand before she could grab the knife. 

“Little la…”

A snarl crossed her face.  She slammed her forehead into his.  “Gah!” She cried.

A sharp pain rippled through her body.  She hissed though clenched teeth.  Jacob slightly stumbled as well.  It was enough for her to wrap her hands around the knife and pull it from the holster.  She whipped her bounded arms around, blade in hand.  He stepped back just in time for the blade to whiz by his throat. 

Before she could strike again, she was met with a swift punch to the gut.  Liz felt the air leave her lungs.  She collapsed onto her knees.  The knife fell from her hands and skidded under his desk.  Jacob tilted her chin up, so she was looking at him.

“You play dirty, little lamb.”

Despite the pain in her ribs, she was able to form a smile.  “Only way I know how.”

Jacob grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her to her feet.  She cried out in pain.  Gone was any kindness from him.  She was met only with the eyes of a stone-cold killer.  This was the man she had seen that first day she got put in a cage.  Because that’s who really was, brutal and unforgiving.

“I’m going to give you one more chance to re-think what you’re doing.  Choose wisely.” He snarled.

She spat in his face.  It was a little unconventional, but it got her point across.  She would rather die than strike up any deal with him.  The look in his eyes grew darker and his hand moved to her throat.  He picked her up by it and threw her across the desk like she was a ragdoll. 

The back of her skull hit the desk.  Spots had begun to form in her vision.  She titled her head up just in time to see Jacob removing his gun from his holster.  In a panic, she pushed herself off the desk and onto the other side.  Her body smacked into the floor.  The first shot hit the wall behind her.  She couldn’t help but jump at the noise.

“Anyone ever tell you that you’re a pain in the ass, Liz?”

She scrambled under his desk.  Her hands were still bound in front of her.  She looked on the ground to see Jacob’s knife laying beside her.  What luck.  She snatched the knife up off the ground and began to saw at the ropes.  Two more gunshots hit the wall, making her flinch each time.  That made three.

“I have given you chance after chance to be a part of something here.  And what do you do?  You try to kill me again, like the little bitch you are.”

He unloaded his gun further.  Four.  Five.  Six.  The bullets hit the wall, nowhere near to hitting her.  He wasn’t trying to kill her, again.  Only trying to scare her.  Liz continued to saw at the ropes.  She was almost there. 

“But I must say, sweetheart.  I am impressed.  You almost played me for the fool.”

“Wonder where I learned it from?”

He scoffed.  “I taught you too well.”

After a few more seconds, she had sawed through the ropes.  Her hands were free. 

“Why don’t you come on out, _pup._ ”

 Her mouth hung open.  “Really?  You’re branching out into new nicknames?  No thank you.  I’d like to stick with the shitty one you gave me.”

“Yeah, you are my sweet little lamb.”

She peeked her head over the desk just as one more shot hit the wall.  She dove back behind the desk.  That made seven.  He was out of bullets.  A small smile formed on her lips.  As much as she hated to admit it, she enjoyed the fighting.  When the shit hit the fan sometimes things would become more, clear.

She took a deep breath before making her move.  She got out from under the desk and sprinted for the door.  She jiggled the doorknob only to find it locked.  Her hand slammed against the door in frustration.

“Damn it Pratt!”

“Peaches isn’t going to save you darlin’.  There’s no getting out of this.”

She turned to face him.  His knife was still in her hand.  Her body ached but was still functioning.  She still had a job to do. 

“There’s only one way this ends.  I made you a promise.”  She tightened her grip on the blade.

He shook his head and holstered his weapon.  “You can’t kill me.  You’re not strong enough to.”

She clenched her teeth together.  God, he was such a dick.  She forgot how much she really hated him.  No matter how many good moments they had, the bad would always outweigh them.  He was probably right though, she wasn’t strong enough to kill him.  But it wouldn’t stop her from trying.  She gripped the knife in her right hand and squared up for a fight.

“You really going to do this?” He asked.

“I don’t have any other choice.”

He sighed.  “I’m not going to fight you.  That’s not something that I take pleasure in.”

She charged at him.  She aimed the blade for his chest.  Jacob easily sidestepped her attack.  She crashed face first into his bed frame.  She slammed her fist into the mattress and turned back around to face him.

“Fight me, asshole!”

“A strong man doesn’t hit a woman.”

Her eyebrow raised.  That was a little hypocritical considering that he already had hit her, several times... today.  But it had mostly been in his self-defense.  She didn’t object to it though.  If Jacob wanted to live by his own stupid code, let him be.

“Strong man doesn’t back down from a fight.” She spat.  She pointed the knife at him as a taunt.

Something in Jacob’s eyes changed.  Bingo.  That had stuck a nerve.  No matter the person, there was always something that broke them.  For Jacob, it was being called weak.  He would rather die than be weak.

Jacob sighed and removed his jacket.  She took one look at his arms and thought about changing her mind.  He was built like a tank.  There was no way she would ever beat him, but she was going to try.  Even if that meant dying in the process…

“Don’t forget that you asked for this, little lamb.”

They circled each other like two predators.  Neither would back down.  Liz’s only advantage was the knife in her hand.  He could easily disarm her, but he wouldn’t.  He enjoyed the challenge too much.  And he would probably want to kill her with his own two hands.

“Bring it on.”  She wagged her finger at him to come closer.  He obliged.  She struck at him.  He dodged it again.  The blade cut nothing but air. 

“You know honey, I had other things planned for us today.”

She scoffed.  “I know what type of things you plan.  Trust me… I’m not interested.”

She sliced at him two more times before he caught her hand.  A smacking sound echoed through the room.  She pushed against his grip but didn’t gain any progress. 

Her foot collided with his shin.  He let out a grunt, loosening his grip.  The blade slipped from his grasp and raked across his chest.  The smell of blood immediately hit her nose.  Red seeped through his T-Shirt. 

He immediately recovered and punched her in the gut again.  The knife fell from her hands and clattered on the tile.  She buckled over.  When he moved to grab her, she lunged forward to tackle him.  They both slammed into the tile floor.  Liz straddled him.  Her hand curled into a fist and collided with his jaw.  Blood splattered over the two of them. 

Before she could hit him again, he grabbed her hips and flipped her so that she was pinned under him.  She couldn’t help but gasp.  His hips dug into hers.  He picked up the knife off the ground and shoved it against her throat. 

Here she was again, at the mercy of Jacob.  She would never be able to kill him, but at least she tried.  That was all that mattered.  She could die knowing that she went out fighting.

“Do it.”  The blade pressed down further on her throat.  He had that look in his eyes.  He was thinking about it.  Slicing her throat and solving the problem.  It was a permeant solution to his long-term problem. 

“Do it!”  She wanted to die, and she wanted him to be responsible for it.  Tears began to well up in her eyes.  They spilled onto her cheeks.  “Please… just do it…  It’s time.”

She could see the confliction in his eyes.  She couldn’t help but wonder if she was the first person that had asked him to kill them.  Miller had probably been begging for death in the end.  She was no different than his ex-army buddy.

“You don’t get to leave me just yet, Palmer.”  He removed the knife from her throat and holstered it.  She felt like she could finally breathe.

He laid between her legs.  His body sunk lower into hers.  She squirmed, trying to get out from under him but it was no use.  She wasn’t going anywhere.  She had nowhere to look but into his eyes.  She felt her heartbeat quicken. 

He reached up to carefully tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.  He got blood on her in the process.  His hand rested on the side of her face, thumb stroking her cheek.

“Get off me.”

“Little lamb…”  His hips dug into hers.  She could feel _everything_ that was going on down there.  They were too close, way too close.  She didn’t want to think about how she may have been the cause of it.  Her hands began to shake but another part of her deep down enjoyed being this close to him.  That part of her wanted him to never let go.

“Get off!”                                       

“What are you gonna’ do if I don’t?”  Jacob cupped her face tighter.  She let out a shaky breath.  Even though she shouldn’t, she felt herself melt into his touch.  There was something relaxing about the way his body formed to hers.  Almost like it was meant to be that way.  And that’s why it scared the hell out of her.

“Nothing…”  She leaned her head back in defeat.  She would never beat him.  She wasn’t strong enough to.  She knew that now.

He traced fingers across her neck one last time, examining the damage he had done.  Liz shuddered underneath him.  With a sigh, he pushed himself up off her. 

There was a patch of blood on her shirt.  She looked up at him to see a large cut down the center of his chest.  She had done that.  He extended a hand to help her up.  To her own surprise, she took it.  A sharp pain went through her as soon as she got to her feet.  They had both beaten up each other pretty bad. 

Liz wiped the blood from her face with one hand.  She felt something heavy close around the wrist Jacob was holding.  She looked down to see a metal cuff closed around her wrist.  The cuff was connected to a chain that was bolted to the wall.  How had she not noticed this before?

He immediately backed away from her.  What the hell?  She tired to go towards him, but the chain restricted her movements to a short distance.

“Jacob?”  She furiously tugged at the chain, trying to break free.  But it was no use.  She wasn’t going anywhere.

“What the hell!”

He stood far enough away that she couldn’t reach him.  “Can’t have you running off, little lamb.  I still need you.”

“Just let me go.  I’ll stay.”  She yanked at the chain again. 

He shook his head.  “Not falling for your tricks again, sweetheart.  No matter how _tempting_ they may be.  You’re going to stay right there and be a good little lamb.”

“Jacob!”  He ignored her pleas.  He crossed the room to rummage through his desk.  He pulled out a first aid kit and a bottle of alcohol.  He slowly lifted the hem of his shirt to inspect the wound.  He winced as the fabric scraped across his chest.  The cut was deep and ran across at least half his chest.

It was strange to see Jacob in pain.  He was probably the strongest person she knew.  There wasn’t much that could take him down.  But _she_ had injured him.  The girl that was only alive because of her last name.  The girl that had fell face-first into the mud during training.  Except she wasn’t so sure she was that girl anymore.  The girl that had attacked Jacob was cold.  She had killed, lied, and manipulated.  She wasn’t any better than him.

Jacob stripped his shirt off and threw it on the ground.  Her eyes widened.  Jacob’s chest was much different than she had imagined.  Not that she had ever imagined what he looked like shirtless in her free time…

He didn’t have bulging muscles, but it was clear he could break anyone in half if he wanted to.  Scars covered his body as well.  Except these were worse than the ones on his face.  There wasn’t a smooth patch of skin on his top half.  The left side of his chest was completely blackened.  The rest of him was covered in the same ugly welts and scars.  She also swore that she saw lash marks on his back…

Jacob paid no attention to his disrobed state, or to her.  He poured the alcohol onto a rag and dabbed it against the cut.  A low growl rumbled out of his throat. 

“It’s not nice to stare, little lamb.”  He didn’t even look up at her.  He continued to attempt to clean his wound.

Liz broke out of her daze.  She had been staring too long.  She sat on his bed, letting her back lay against the headrest.

“Just admiring my handiwork.  It’s nice to see what you finally get what you deserve, asshole.”  She stretched out her legs on the bed, feeling smitten with herself. 

He slammed his hand on the table, making her jump.  “You’re so right, sweetheart.”

“I am?”

He gathered up all of the medical supplies and walked over to the bed.  He sat them down on the bedside table.  He towered over her.

“This was your work.  So, you get to stitch me up.”

She scoffed.  “To hell I am.  I’ll just try to kill you again.”

“Get up.” He said.  Liz just sat there, staring up at him.  Damn her for running her mouth again.  It always got her in trouble, but she continued to do it.  “Don’t make me ask again.” He growled.

With a sigh, she got up from the bed.  Jacob sat down in her place.  He leaned back against the headboard and stretched out his own legs.  Liz watched the whole ordeal with her mouth agape.  He patted his lap for her to sit down on top of him.

“Uh, hell no.”  She backed away but was snagged by the chain.  Jacob grabbed hold of it and yanked her towards him.  He grabbed her hips and dragged her up onto the bed.  She had no other choice than to comply. 

“Hi there, little lamb.”  He gave her a smirk.

“For the love of everything, let me go.”  She was sitting awkwardly in his lap.  She shoved at his chest, but he didn’t budge.  He helped her adjust so she was straddling him, for the second time today.  She let out a sigh. 

“Nope.  You’re stitching me up.”

She examined the wound on his chest.  It was shallow, but far deeper than she thought she had cut him.  It oozed out thick blood.  If it wasn’t treated soon, it would get infected. 

Liz was accustomed to blood.  It was everywhere at the Veteran’s Center.  Seeing dead bodies was once part of her daily routine.  But still, seeing Jacob’s fresh wound made her uncomfortable.  Deep down though, she knew it wasn’t the wound but the position she was in.

“But I don’t even know how.  I’ll probably end up killing you on accident too.” 

“I’m going to show you.  So, you can _learn._ ”  He handed her a bottle of alcohol and a rag.

“Remember what happened last time you told me to learn something?”  She tipped to bottle over to wet the rag. 

“The way I remember it is you not listening to me and poking your nose into things you shouldn’t.”

That was not how that night went at all.  That had been the worst night of her life.  She had only wanted to die.  Just the thought of what happened then pissed her off.  She let the rag fall from her hands.  She tipped the bottle and dumped the contents onto Jacob’s chest.

The clear liquid sizzled the moment it touched his skin.  Jacob hissed through clenched teeth.  His hands kneaded into the sheets below him.  The alcohol flowed down his chest.  A good chunk of it even got on her jeans.  She didn’t care.

“It hurts doesn’t it?” 

“Little lamb, if you…”  She dumped the rest on him, cutting off his sentence.  He let out another groan.  He snatched the bottle from her hands and chunked it across the room.  It shattered against the the tile.  He let out a shaky breath.  “Could you stop acting like a bitch for five minutes?”

Liz shrugged her shoulders.  “Nope.”

“Well, you you’re not getting off until you stitch me up.  So if I were you, I’d hurry up and get it over with.”  

She sighed, weighing her options.  There was truly no going anywhere unless Jacob said so.  “Just show me how to do it.”

He reached back to hand her the forceps, needle, and thread.  He instructed her on how to tie the thread and use the forceps to guide it through.  She got the needle prepped and placed it against the wound.  She looked up at him for approval.  What the hell was wrong with her?  She had just tried to kill him and now she wanted to make sure it was okay to put a needle to his chest.

He gave her a small nod and she proceeded to start her first stitch.  More blood spilled from the wound, leaving her hands wet and sticky.  She snatched them away.

“I-I can’t do this.”

“Well, you’re not going anywhere until you fix your _handiwork_.”  His hands drifted to her hips and squeezed her tightly.  They rested a little too low on her hips for her liking.

Oh shit.  This could not be happening.  Not again.  His hands had been all over her today.  What scared her even more is that she kind of enjoyed the feeling. 

“Let go of me.” She hissed.

“Not happening, sweetheart.  Take your time though.  I can sit here all day.”  He sunk further into the mattress and gripped her tighter.

She sighed.  “You’re such an ass, you know that?”

“Well, I guess we’re not that different after all.”

No, they were not.  They were just two people who would do whatever it would take to survive.  There was no getting out of this or around it.  So, she might as well get to work.  She took a shaky breath and prepped the needle. 

Her hands shook as she pushed the needle through his skin.  She wasn’t the one getting stitched up, but she winced all the same.  Every time she touched him more blood seemed to seep out.  Her hands were stained red, just like out by the lake that one night.  She shook the thought from her head.  She had a job to do.  She needed to focus on that.

The first few stitches were sloppy, but as she continued they became more uniform.  Jacob just sat there.  Occasionally he would grunt or sigh but that was it.  His hands stayed planted on her hips.  She could feel his eyes burning into her skull, but she never looked up at him.  She couldn’t.  If she did, she wouldn’t be able to stop.

So, she focused on the sutures.  They became easier to do as she continued.  But she also grew uncomfortable with his hands on her hips.  And after a while, for some reason, she felt compelled to open her mouth.

“You know I almost died the other day…”  She could feel Jacob shift underneath her, and his breathing changed as well.  She kept her eyes on his chest.  “I um… was trying to take the outpost with Dep and I, froze.  This woman, almost shot me…”

Her hands began to shake at the thought.  She was only halfway done with the sutures but set down the needle and forceps anyways.

“She looked exactly like Andrea…  I could have sworn that it was her.  I just… I didn’t know what to do.  I couldn’t think, breathe.  I just stood there and waited to die.  But I didn’t…  I lived somehow.”

Liz didn’t know why she was telling him this story.  He had no right to know it.  He would only use it against her, to make the excuse that she was weak.  But here she was telling him anyways.  Like he had some right to know. 

“Do you know what I told Andrea when I killed her?”

Oh no.  Here it was.  The secret that she had been holding in.  Those cursed words she had uttered that afternoon.  Ones that she had meant at the time but regretted saying now.  And now she was going to tell it to the one man who she shouldn’t be speaking to.  Jacob just sat there.  He didn’t say anything.  The only sound he made was the heavy breaths from his nose.

A tear fell down her face.  “I told her that I was strong… and she was weak.  And that she needed to be _culled_.”

She laughed.  More tears spilled from her eyes.  “But she wasn’t the one who was weak… I was.”

Jacob moved to rest a hand on the side of her face.  His hand covered her entire cheek.  It was calloused but also, soft.  His thumb brushed across her cheek and wiped away her tears.  How could something so gentle come from the man who had hurt her so much?

“Hey… look at me…”  He tried to tilt her chin upwards, but she wouldn’t budge.  She stared at his chest instead.

“You did what you had to.  Alright.  You’re not weak.  You culled the herd, that’s what you’re supposed to do.”

That was not what she was supposed to do.  She was supposed to go to college, get a job, fall in love, get married, and live a normal life.  She wasn’t supposed to kill and fight and die for a cause.  That was never in the cards for her, but somehow this was her life. 

“Liz…”

The sound of her name made her chin perk up.  She locked eyes with his icy blue ones.  They were filled with pain, which was something that didn’t happen often.  She didn’t know if it was from the wound or from something else.  No matter the cause of his pain, she was entranced.  She couldn’t look away.

“Does it ever get any easier?” She asked.  Confusion crossed over his face.  “Does killing people ever get any easier?”

The look he gave her wasn’t filled with pain anymore, but with hopelessness.  Much like the one Dep had given her before she got captured.  It was the look of someone that didn’t have any answers.

“It gets to the point where it’s not personal.  It’s just a job.”  He said.

She gritted her teeth and a scowl crossed over her face.  Her eyes never left his though.  “You should know more than anyone that it is _always_ personal.”

It was personal when she had kicked that man off the cliff.  It was personal when she killed those Peggies with Dep.  It was definitely personal when she had killed Andrea… And it was personal when her cousin had died.  Jacob was no different.  The Whitetails, Eli, and Miller…  It was all personal. 

“It’s not if you have a purpose.” 

There was that bullshit again.  Jacob would rather die than break his stupid code.  His other hand left her hip to cup her face on both sides.  What the hell was he doing?  She was prepared to rip his throat out and he was being so damn… gentle.  She didn’t like that.

“When did you stop counting?”  She didn’t explain further because he knew what she was asking.  He always knew.

“Six.”

“Why?”  Why had he stop counting when he killed six people?  There had to be a reason.  She didn’t think that she could ever stop counting.  She was at thirteen so far.

He sighed.  “Because I knew that there was no point.  That it would never end…”

She understood exactly how he felt.  That was how she felt sometimes.  Her number would only continue to grow.  The circle of violence would never end.  It would just keep going around and around, till everyone was dead.  Someone always payed in blood, hopefully it just wouldn’t be her.

Jacob’s hands burned on her face.  Her cheeks were stained a bright red.  This is not where she wanted to be, not at all.  This man was her enemy.  He didn’t want her or care for her.  She was just a tool, his tool.  But as she got lost in those icy blue eyes, she forgot once again.  Just like when she had put his holster on him that day.  Forgetting was a dangerous thing to do with Jacob Seed.

He pulled her closer to him.  Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest.  She forgot about the wound on his chest, the bruises on her neck, and the chain around her wrist.  He brought her closer until their noses touched once again.

Liz felt herself start to panic.  This could not be happening.  No way in hell was she going to do this.  Her hand curled into a fist and collided with his chest, right where the wound was.  More blood splattered over the two of them.  He let out a growl and his hands fell from her face. 

He picked her up and threw her off of his lap.  Her body slammed into the tile floor.  Pain rippled through her.

“Fuck.” She cursed.

Jacob stood up from the bed and retrieved his shirt from the other side of the room.  He was still bleeding but didn’t seem to care.  A scowl rested on his face. 

“Have fun rotting in here, little lamb.”  That was the last thing he said before slamming the door behind him. 

Liz picked herself up off the ground, still trying to process everything that had happened today.  She sat back down on the bed and tucked her knees to her chest.  Blood still stained her hands and face.  She yanked at the chain a few more times, but nothing changed.  She was stuck here. 

There was nothing Liz could do but sit there and be a good little lamb… so that’s what she was going to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all so quick update about me, I was in the hospital over thanksgiving but I'm all better now!! And I'm back to writing this wonderful fic. Also real life guys suck... so I'm going to drown my feelings in fanfic. But yeah... so enough about me!  
> Thank you everyone for who still reads and enjoys this. I love each and every single one of you. I know there's a lot of crap going down on tumblr and people are leaving, so shoot me a dm on tumblr if you want my twitter (bc i'm on twitter more), and we can talk on there if anybody wants.  
> This chapter is something that I had been planning for a long time, and I hope y'all liked it. I believe that it is the first time Jacob and Liz are truly equals, at least for most of it. A lot of stuff happened, a lot up ups and downs.  
> As always, love y'alls comments. Thank you so much again for everything!


	19. No Wait and See, Just See and Wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yall thought you'd seen the last of me? hahaha

Three days.  That’s how long Liz stayed chained to the bed.  There was nothing to do except to sleep or stare at the opposite wall.  Jacob hadn’t come back to his office since he had chained her up.  The only person she got to see was Pratt.  He’d bring her two meals a day and unchain her once a day so she could be escorted to the bathroom.  There was also a bucket next to the bed if she really had to take a piss.  She fortunately hadn’t had to use it yet.

The whole time Jacob hadn’t come back to his office.  She didn’t know where he was and didn’t really care.  She liked to think that the Deputy had already gotten the better of him.  But Jacob was smarter than that.  She wasn’t sure if anything could actually kill that bastard. 

Doing absolutely nothing for three days wasn’t as bad as she thought.  She needed the rest.  Her body was bruised and broken.  Her nose was healing slowly.  There were still stitches in her leg, but they would need to be taken out soon.  The bruises on her neck from that terrible night just didn’t seem to go away.

Liz had gotten accustomed to her routine of nothing until one morning it was rudely interrupted.  The feeling of something smacking her in the face made her shoot straight up in bed.  Her head spun.  She sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed her eyes only for a Chosen outfit to be sitting at her feet, and Jacob Seed towering over her.

“Get dressed.”

All she did was sigh.  She had to have known that he would come back eventually.  She wasn’t surprised, just disappointed.  Her eyes stayed fixated on the ground.  She didn’t want to look at him. 

“Burning daylight, little lamb.”

The doors to the balcony swung open.  She rubbed her irritated eyes once more.  This could not be happening.  She wasn’t prepared to put up with his bullshit.  Not today.  Footsteps came her way.  She felt him grab her arm and remove the chain off her wrist.  It hit the ground with a thud. 

“Get dressed, I won’t ask you again.”

She had no other choice but to look up at him.  There were those eyes again.  They were just as cold as they were a few days before, piercing daggers at her. That’s what she got for trying to kill him.  The wound on his chest most likely hadn’t healed yet.  Her handiwork was truly amazing. 

She got up and stretched her limbs.  It felt good to be standing again.  She picked up the clothes off the ground.  “Are you just going to stare at me the whole time?”

Jacob sighed and walked over to his desk to occupy himself.  Did she want to change with him in the room?  No… but there wasn’t any other choice.  She turned her back to him and quickly stripped off her jeans.  Her shirt hit the ground next.  She had nothing on underneath it.  She stood in the middle of Jacob’s office in nothing but her underwear.  It was not her ideal situation.

Despite how quickly she changed, she still felt a pair of eyes on her bare back.  Damn it.  The last thing she wanted was for Jacob to see her half-naked.  When she finally got the monstrosity of an outfit on, she realized that it wasn’t baggy at all.  It fit perfectly.  Almost like it was made for her…

She picked up the red ski mask off the ground.  This is what her life had come to.  She was going to masquerade around as a Peggie once more.  She walked over to him.  She didn’t say anything, there was no point.  She wouldn’t be able to fight him, not in her weakened state.  There was nothing to do but comply and become a prisoner once more.

Jacob stood up from his desk to inspect her.  He was taking in the sight of his creation.  He had taken that sniffling little lamb and turned her into a compliant killer.  He spun her around.  The feeling of his hands made her flinch.  But he didn’t hurt her, he simply tucked her hair into the jacket.  His fingers lingered on her neck for too long.  They were too gentle.  And the worst part was that she didn’t want him to stop.  She never wanted him to stop…

She stepped away, letting his hands fall to his sides.  His cold gaze was replaced with a look that only she could understand.  After all this time, she could always figure out what he wanted from her. 

There was that shitty feeling in her gut again.  With a sigh she un-balled the mask from her hand and placed it over her head.  This was her life now.  She was officially one of the chosen.  The look of satisfaction that Jacob gave her, made her want to throw up.

As she wandered through the hallways, the routine felt familiar.  She knew every nook and cranny in this place.  She followed him all the way to his truck.  She tried to prepare herself for whatever was going to come today.  As soon as the truck pulled away from the Veteran’s Center, Liz pulled her legs up to her chest. 

She stayed silent.  There was absolutely nothing she wanted to say to him.  After that shit he had pulled on the radio that day, what was she supposed to say to him?  That she wished that she wasn’t just a tool to him?  That she meant something to him?  That she was special in some way?  There was no point.  She would never be any of those things to him.

So, she just stared out the window.  Every time she looked out this window, Hope County just seemed to look worse.  She still had a hard time accepting that this used to be her home.  There were so many people that she loved that were all gone.  This place was just a war zone now. 

After a long and uncomfortable car ride, Jacob’s truck pulled up to the one place in the world that she was hoping she’d never see again.  _The Stone Ridge Chalet_.  Her legs fell from the seat.  She hated this place.  Being here brought back so many bad memories.  The only good part about her time here was that she didn’t see Jacob at all.  And the more she thought about it, being at the Chalet was better than being at the Veteran’s Center.

Jacob climbed out of the truck and she followed suit.  The Chalet was just as busy as the day she left.  Soldiers stomped about the grounds, fighting, training, and being brainwashed into Jacob’s perfect killers.  And she was one of those perfect killers.

He gave her one last look up and down.  He scoffed.  “Stand up straight.  You’re one of the Chosen.  Act like it.”

On instinct, her shoulders went back.  It was almost like her parents were scolding her once more.  She didn’t want to act like one of the Chosen though or be one of them.  Here she was just stuck in this shit once again.

Everyone on the grounds immediately noticed the presence of their leader.  In the past, she always got to see how everyone reacted, because no one was ever paying attention to her.  She was just the trophy.  But now she was something else, there were eyes on her.  She was one of the Chosen.  Now she was more of an equal than a pet.  Liz wasn’t sure which she preferred. 

As Jacob stomped away from the truck, she grew more frustrated.  “Why the hell did you bring me here?” She hissed.  Her breath had nowhere to go against the stuffy mask.

“You’re doing your job, little lamb.”

How exactly was she doing her job?  No one could see her face.  She couldn’t exactly be his trophy when he wasn’t showing her off.  She shook her head and followed him like the lost little lamb she was. 

Jacob milled about the property for about half an hour, checking up on troops and just being his intimidating self.  Liz had forgotten how boring this job was.  She let her mind drift off to what Dep and Sharky might be up to.  Probably lighting something on fire.  The thought of it made her smile.  She also thought about what Eli might be doing right now.  Did he know that she was gone?  Would he even try to get her back even if he did know?  There was no way to find out.  But if it were her in Eli’s position… she wouldn’t send anyone to recuse her… she would leave herself to die.

Liz’s footsteps slowed when they reached the mud pit.  It was on the north side of the Chalet.  This is where the troops would fight one another.  She had been lucky to avoid this place during her training.  The only reason she had been spared is because Jacob hadn’t wanted his trophy to ‘break’.  The pit was truly horrifying.  It was the most intense spot at the Chalet.  The hole was at least seven feet deep.  A thick layer of mud at the bottom made it harder to move around and to fight.  Spikes were embedded in the walls so you couldn’t climb out.  The contenders were selected at random.  The only way to get out of the pit was to win or to yield and lose.  But the losers never yielded…

She did her best to take in the madhouse.  Every soldier was packed around the pit like a pack of wild dogs.  Their shouts carried across the grounds.  Some of them were even placing bets on the two men duking it out.  From the looks of it, they had been placing bets all day.  The soldiers weren’t the only ones that looked smitten though, Jacob had that cocky smile across his face.  Of course, he would love the pit.  It was a brutal creation of his own design. 

A man approached Jacob on his other side.  They started conversing about something.  Liz completely tuned them out as she was drawn into the fight.  Both men were almost equal.  They fought with no weapons, only their fists.  They rallied blows on one another.  It was a test of brute strength, but it could be a test of smarts.  Out-thinking your opponent could help you win sometimes.  But that’s not how Jacob’s men operate.  The fight came to a swift end when one man’s face was plunged into the mud.  The man flailed about for a minute until it came to a stop and he suffocated.  The pit had chosen a winner.

“How you doing Palmer?”

Liz jumped at the sound of her name.  She looked over only to see none other than Ramirez, Jacob’s right-hand man.  It had been awhile since she had seen that ugly bastard.  He still had the same crooked tooth grin that could give anyone nightmares.  Liz just stared at him, she was surprised the he remembered her name.

He nudged Jacob and laughed.  “Does she always freeze up like a deer in headlights?”

“Most of the time.”

“I never thought I’d see you with your little _plaything_ again.  I thought she ran off a while ago.”

Liz shook her head.  She couldn’t believe it.  Seriously?  Did everyone think that something else was going on?  Because to her it seemed like everyone believed it.  The Peggies, the Chosen, the Whitetails, all of them.  Sure, she had her moments and the occasional dream.  But that did not mean that she wanted to sleep with him.  She didn’t want that even after that shit he told her on the radio weeks ago.  A shiver went down her spine.  Even the thought of _that_ with _him_ made her sick.

“Yeah well, I needed to send her away.  It’s useful to have someone on the inside.” Jacob said.

Ramirez laughed even harder.  “Whatever you say boss.  There’s no judgement here.  You know what’d I do to her if she was mine…”  Liz saw Jacob’s hand curl into a fist.  She knew what that meant.

“But if she’s useful that’s even better.”  Ramirez turned to her.  “You wanna take your shot at the pit, honey?  If you’re as useful as I’m told, it’ll be a breeze.”

Liz scoffed.  “No thanks.  I’m good.”

“C’mon it’ll be fun.”  Ramirez grabbed a hold of her arm before she or Jacob had any time to object.  She was thrown forward and she fell face first into the pit.  Mud immediately soaked into her clothing.  The pain in her leg flared up again.  With a wince, she got to her feet.  The dirt walls began to close in around her.  No.  This could not be happening. 

“Alright!  We got a contender.  Now we’re talkin!” Ramirez said.  Soldiers cheered.  They began stomping their boots in excitement.  The noises echoed in the pit and shake the dirt walls.

“Ramirez!”  Jacob yelled.  He looked like he was about to tear Ramirez apart.  Ramirez knew that he had a soft spot for Liz, and he was playing on that.  It wasn’t often that someone was able to pull something like that on the eldest Seed.  Jacob’s little lamb was his only weakness.  Jacob knew it, Ramirez knew it, and Liz knew it.  There was no telling what else Ramirez was planning on doing with that information.

Jacob started to charge forward to the pit until a rough hand stopped him in his tracks.  “Relax boss.  Let you pet have some fun.  Don’t worry, I’ll make it easy on her.”

He surveyed through the crowd for a minute until he found what he was looking for.  He pointed at a boy hiding in the back.

“Rookie.  You’re up.”

The boy pushed his way through the crowd and jumped down.  He didn’t look much older than she was.  The more she looked at him, she realized that she knew this boy.  She had trained with him during her time here.  That simple fact wouldn’t save him. 

She turned around and locked eyes with Jacob.  All the color was drained from his face.  He gave her one of those looks that only she would understand.  There was nothing he could do to help her.  She was going to have to fight.  His eyes only told her one thing:

_I’m sorry._

Ramirez walked up to the edge of the pit.  “Alright men you know the rules!  No one comes out until there’s a winner.  No weapons.  But anything else goes.”

Liz looked over at the boy.  His hands trembled at his sides.  She didn’t want to do this again.  There were too many people on her list.  How many people was she at now?  Twelve?  Thirteen?  The number was lost to her.  It didn’t matter anymore.

On instinct, the training that was instilled in her was knocking at the door.  She squared up for a fight.  The boy did the same.  They began to circle one another.  She could probably beat this boy with brute strength, but she chosen option two.  She chose not to follow her training.

“Yield!”  She yelled.  She lowered her fists.  The stomps at the edge of the ring stopped.  Everyone looked at her in confusion.  A Chosen would have never said that.

“You wanna get out of here alive?  Yield.”

The boy shook the confused look off her face.  He charged straight at her.  With a simple sidestep, the boy ran into the wall.  He coughed up dirt.  Liz probably looked just as pathetic attacking Jacob days ago.

She scoffed.  “You’re outta your depth kid.”

He charged at her again.  She shoved him aside and he hit the wall once more.  He charged until she couldn’t dodge him anymore.  A fist landed in the center of her face.  From the force of the blow, her broken nose cracked once more.  She collapsed into the mud and sank a few inches.  It felt like it was going to swallow her whole.  The soldiers hollered.  Fuck out-thinking her opponent.  It was time to kill this son of a bitch.

She got a handful of mud and flung it at the boy’s eyes.  He gagged on it.  She lunged and shoved him up against the wall.  Her fist collided with his face again and again until blood was streaming down.  The back of his head repeatedly slammed into the dirt.  Her knuckles were split in two.  With every blow, the cheers became louder. 

“Go ahead and yield.  You’re only wasting my time.” She hissed.

He slammed his forehead into hers, breaking himself out of the hold.  Her trash talk was short lived.  A fist landed into her gut.  He reached out, grabbing her mask.  The rough fabric scraped across her face and came off her head.  Golden hair fell out.  There were a few gasps.  They either knew her or knew that women weren’t a part of the Chosen.

She scrambled away and clung to the walls.  The boy was gallivanting to the crowd, holding her mask up into the air for all to see.  He was acting like he was some goddamn hero.  Except he wasn’t a hero.  He was weak and needed to be culled.

His back was turned to her.  That was his mistake.  Liz lunged at him, grabbing his midsection and taking them both into the mud.  She straddled him and landed a few more blows.  The boy managed to shield himself, but it didn’t help.  She grabbed more mud and smeared into his face.  He cried out when the mud burned into his eyes.  She also managed to ram some down his throat.

The boy began to twitch.  This might be the end for him.  She might win this fight.  But her confidence misguided her.  The boy grabbed her hips and threw her off him like she was a rag doll.  Her head slammed into the mud.  The boy was trying to gag up the mud in his throat.

Liz dug her hands into the ground and crawled away.  But the boy grabbed her feet and drug her back to him.  Her face got coated in mud as it scraped across the ground.  She was pulled up so that she was on her knees and his arms wrapped around her throat. 

Shit.  The fear of losing this fight just kicked in.  It was a fear that she had felt too many times before.  She had felt it when she almost got thrown off the cliff.  When that bear attacked her.  When she was taken to Jacob’s Armory.  And finally, when that woman almost shot her at the outpost.  There were other times, but this felt more real than all the others.  She was going to die here in the mud, with all the Chosen watching.  _There wasn’t a Deputy coming to save her this time…_

He held her in a chokehold.  Air couldn’t make its way to her lungs.  She clawed at his arms but wasn’t strong enough to do anything.  She slammed her head back into his.  The boy grunted but his grip remained iron tight.  There was nothing she could do to stop it.  All she should do was look up at the only man she wanted to see. 

“Alright, that’s enough.” Jacob said.  The chokehold loosened a little, but not much.  The boy looked around waiting for conformation to continue or not.

“No one yields!  You fight until there’s a winner!” Ramirez shouted. 

The arms around her neck instantly grew tighter.  Liz’s eyes never left Jacob’s.  With each second the end grew closer.  Black spots formed in her vision.  Her lungs began to deplete with air.  Tears streamed down her face.  A small last whimper made it past her lips.

All she did was stare at him.  The man who she _cared_ about.  That was a thought that had never gone through her mind before.

But once she thought it.  It all made sense and she accepted it.

He was the man who protected her, who understood her, and made her strong.  She had denied it all this time, but she did care about him.  It only took her being on the brink of death for the hundredth time to realize it.  And no matter how much shit that they put each other through, how she felt wouldn’t change.  Her only regret was that she would never get to tell him. 

Everything else faded away as she got lost in his eyes.  The look that he gave her confirmed that he felt the same.  Her body began to spasm as she slowly suffocated.  Her eyelids grew heavy.  She was at peace with her death being here.  Jacob would never betray his philosophy to save her and that was okay. 

Liz let her eyes flutter close.  It was time that she met her end.  It was okay…  This was okay…  She accepted it.

But it seemed that Jacob still had one more trick up his sleeve.

“I said that’s enough!”

A gunshot rang out.  The arms around her neck fell away.  Blood and flesh splattered across her face.  Liz’s eyes shot open.  She collapsed onto her hands and knees, gasping for air.  She heaved until the spots in her eyes went away.  She fell over onto her back.  The mud dyed her hair a sickly brown.  Her hands curled into the muck.  It felt like the most stable thing in the world right now.

Above her she saw a thousand faces peering down at her, all in shock.  They all wanted to get a glimpse at the girl who had gotten her ass kicked.  She was weak.  That boy had nearly killed her.  She had no place in the Chosen or in Jacob’s army.  He had to save her once again. 

But he had saved her… He betrayed his philosophy to save her life.

The thing that scared her the most was not almost dying but admitting that she cared about Jacob.  There was no denying it anymore.  Now all she had to do was deal with the consequences.  She pushed herself up onto her feet.  Her foot smushed into the arm of her former opponent.  There wasn’t any face to remember the boy by.

Everyone gathered around the pit stayed silent.  She didn’t give a shit.  Let them stare.  At least she was still standing. That was all that mattered.  Even if she was weak.  She dug her hands into the dirt walls and attempted to pull herself up.  She cried out in pain but managed to pull herself out of the pit.  She laid on her back staring up at the sun.

“What the hell, Seed?  Things were just starting to get interesting.”

Liz picked her head up to see Ramirez storming over.  “You know I’ve put up with you fooling around with your toy to get information!  But I think…”

_Bang!_

Ramirez was dead before his body hit the ground.  Jacob stood over him with his pistol drawn, smoke coming out the barrel.  Her mouth fell open in shock.  The Chosen stood around gawking at the scene.  Jacob had just killed his right-hand man.  The only thing that surprised her is that he hadn’t killed him long ago. 

“Everyone.  Get back to work.”  Jacob didn’t raise his voice, but it was terrifying all the same. 

The men scattered in all directions.  They were tripping over each other to get away from him.  It was truly amazing to see the most ruthless soldiers in the county piss themselves.  Liz probably would have laughed if it wasn’t for her scrapes and bruises.  She was pretty sure if she laughed it would kill her.

Jacob looked down at her, the anger in his eyes instantly fading.  He offered her his hand and to her own surprise she took it.  She winced when she stood up.  Her body felt like it was going to collapse under her.  Jacob placed his hand on her lower back to steady her.  It was a gesture too gentle for anyone to see, but everyone was still trying to run away.  He guided her away from the mud pit and into the Chalet.  His hand didn’t move from her back until they were in his office with the door shut. 

Liz’s hand shook at her sides.  Her legs wobbled.  Mud covered her from head to toe.  It dripped from her coat onto the wood floors.  Her breathing was heavy.  She could still feel phantom arms around her throat. 

“Why’d you do that?” Her voice was hoarse, and it hurt to speak.

Jacob just stared at her.  She couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

She tried to wipe the mud from her face.  Her lips shook as she spoke.  “Why’d you do that?  Why’d you kill your right-hand man?”

His rested under her chin so she was looking right at him.  “Because I found a better one.”

No…  He couldn’t mean her.  She wasn’t capable of that.  She was weak.  She didn’t survive the pit.  She shouldn’t want to work with him.  But she got lost in his eyes and all the excuses faded away.  Jacob had just betrayed all his principles to save her life and he did it in front of his entire army.  If it were anyone else it that pit, he would have let them die.  All his cards were on the table.  Now it was up to her.

“Jacob… There’s something I need to tell you…” Her voice stammered.

Her thoughts from the pit rattled though her mind.  There was no denying anything anymore.  Jacob had saved her life again today.  He had even killed his right-hand man for her.  She needed to tell him.

“I…”

What the hell was she going to tell him?  There were so many things that she wanted to say but wouldn’t:

‘ _I thought I was going to die in that pit.  I wanted you to be the last thing I saw.  I care about you.  You’re the only one that believes in me.  You’re the only one that protects me.  I wish things didn’t have to be this way._ ’ She thought.

The words were planned, but she couldn’t seem to get them out.  Instead she stepped close to him and laid her head on his chest.  Her hands fisted into his shirt.  She covered him completely in mud, but he didn’t seem to care.  Jacob instantly wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.  His hand cradled her head. 

This is the closest she had ever been to him.  It was nice though.  It felt right.  She felt safe, safer than she had been in a long time.  He was the only one that made her feel that way.  Tears welled in her eyes but didn’t spill over.

“I don’t… I don’t wanna do that again.”

She didn’t want to fight anymore.  She didn’t want to die.  And she didn’t want to be afraid anymore.  She thought she could handle all of this on her own…  She could, but she didn’t want to.  This wasn’t about sides anymore.  This was about her and what she was going to do to survive.

“You don’t have to.” His fingers ran through her muddy hair.

She looked up at him.  Jacob was giving her an offer.  With him, she wouldn’t have to fight, and she wouldn’t have to kill.  She would be safe and protected.  It was a hell of an offer.  It was exactly what she was going to come of it.  She did care about him… But in that moment Eli flashed through her mind.  What would he think? 

He would tell her something about how she couldn’t make a decision like this.  That she needed to stay in the bunker.  That she needed to protect herself.  She also thought about what Dep would say.  He would say that she needed rest.  That she had done her job and that she wasn’t needed.  Liz didn’t disdain either of them, they were family.  But they also hadn’t done anything to get her back either.  They had just left her in the clutches of their worst enemy.

So many things were different now.  She shouldn’t have attacked Jacob days ago.  Yes, he had hurt her a whole lot, but he had also saved her more times than anyone.  He had saved her more times than she had saved herself.  She had also hurt him too…

“Let’s get you out of here.  Okay?” Jacob said.

Liz curled her hands into his shirt once more.  She wasn’t going to choose sides.  That’s not what this was.  She shouldn’t be doing this.  She had tried to kill him three days ago, but she didn’t care.  This was all about what was best for her in this moment.  She wasn’t going to kill anyone else.  And she was going to survive.  Liz laid her head back on his chest and closed her eyes.

“Okay…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo yeah. I hate putting Liz through so much shit, but like my girl is strong she can handle it. She did almost die again, and Jacob saved her life... again! (Who's surprised there?) Let me know what y'all think. Just this is not me trying to give away spoilers but Liz has not gone full peggie, for those who were concerned. Sorry I have been absent for so long, again!! I recently got New Dawn like 3 days ago for my birthday, so I'll get caught up soon enough. I hope yall still care about Liz and Jacob because I love writing them. I'm sure all yall have abandoned mtdb by now and that's fine. It's my fault for not updating often. But to those who have stayed, yall are amazing and I love you all.


End file.
